Confrontation in a Bar

This is a discussion on Confrontation in a Bar within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I'm at a bar playing pool with some of my friends (We are not drinking). A man who is 2-3x my size and weight (and ...

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    New Member Array Davis011's Avatar
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    Confrontation in a Bar

    I'm at a bar playing pool with some of my friends (We are not drinking). A man who is 2-3x my size and weight (and obviously intoxicated) starts hitting on and whistling at my girlfriend. I glance over at them to just see whats going on and for some reason the man takes offence at my glance. He then starts 'talking trash' and keeps asking me if I want to take it outside where he will "kick my ass". I try to let it slide and try to say things to calm the situation down (such as "no man, everything is cool"). I do nothing to aggravate the guy, but he wont let it drop. He goes back to his friends and starts telling them that he doesn't like the way I keep looking at him. He walks around to everyone at the bar and tells them the same. Since the guy wants to fight me and won't let the 'issue' drop I decide that it is probably best that we just leave. So we walk out and my girlfriend and I get in my truck. Before I can close my driver's side door the man (who apparently followed us outside with one of his friends) stands between my door and myself, so I cannot close my door. The guy is in my face saying that he will 'end me' and 'put me down'. I am licensed to conceal carry in the state of Washington, so i pull my handgun (which was legally concealed in my car, I did not take it into the bar with me) and let it rest on the right side of my right leg (on the side of the middle console) kind of out of his line of vision. He then notices it and keeps calling me a intimidating names and continues to say that he will hurt me and beat me up.

    What is the best course of action to take?

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  3. #2
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    Start you vehicle and drive away. If he wants to hold on to the door, so be it.
    No real disparity of force (unless this guy is minimum 8-12ft tall from your 2-3x's your size description).

    Good Luck.
    Logic, redmc, OldVet and 7 others like this.
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    New Member Array Davis011's Avatar
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    That's what ended up happening, so much worse outcomes were avoided. :)
    I didn't mean height btw...the dude was just damn big.

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    It all starts when you leave the house choice of the "bar" maybe or hanging at a bar . I would be the first person to say we should be able to go wherever you want but the moment he started giving your girlfriend the business it is time to leave .

    Nothing can come out good when a guy is hell-bent on messing up your night .
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    Senior Member Array Caertaker's Avatar
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    Welcome to the forum. You did much better than I would have at your age (I'm guessing). Personally I avoid bars, nothing there for me. Same holds true for any other place I am not permitted with my EDC. I realize that's probably not acceptable advice for some people but it works for me.
    Enzo411, Logic, hienykins and 5 others like this.
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    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    Call 911 report the altercation and have the drunk arrested,There is no way after the above scenario i'm going to let my guard down where he could follow me out all the way to my vehicle without me noticing it.Without reporting the incident especially after seeing the gun he could call and report that you threatened him with a gun,you would them be in a situation of having a gun and unless you did pull it how would he know.
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    Distinguished Member Array kelcarry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by welder516 View Post
    It all starts when you leave the house choice of the "bar" maybe or hanging at a bar . I would be the first person to say we should be able to go wherever you want but the moment he started giving your girlfriend the business it is time to leave
    Hey Davis: Pardon me if I am presupposing many things that I should not---I apologize--but I cannot but read into this story a fantasy that you have come up with as you put your hands around your firearm and join the fray on this forum. Situational awareness, as welder infers, is the precursor to any and all "stories" and actual events. Where do all you people supposedly find or "what if" dream about these bars and locations where everywhere you turn you are seconds from your firearm? You are armed--you do not go to or dream about places like this. You do not go or dream about a host of places and situations like this. If you stay away from making your dreams come true, they will not and you will not have to ask these questions. I am 72 and never, ever, ever had an occasion to even think firearm and I lived most of my life in NYC--not exactly the garden of eden. Sorry if I rant but I just cannot get my head around how so many seem to almost wish for these scenarios.

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    Ex Member Array flaguns's Avatar
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    any time you can get away from a bad situation without anyone being injured is a good thing regardless of how you did it
    Logic and VNvet like this.

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    New Member Array Davis011's Avatar
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    This didn't happen to me. It happened to one of my friends this last Saturday night. I just thought it would be easier to explain in the first person narrative. I just wanted to see if what he did was correct or incorrect.

    Sorry I should have put that in the first post
    Last edited by Davis011; January 28th, 2014 at 07:04 AM. Reason: Clarification

  11. #10
    Senior Member Array Haywood's Avatar
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    Call 911 report a drunk attacking you. Don't touch your gun. Try to get away.
    BlueHawk76 likes this.

  12. #11
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    If things are anything like they were when I went to bars, certain places had reputations. Walk thru the door and there was a better than half a chance of trouble. Not a question of if there'd be trouble, just when it would start. Even if you weren't directly involved, chances are you would be just because you were there. I guess I'm surprised the owner didn't take some kind of action. Word gets out and pretty soon Mr. Big Noise is the only guy in the place. Not good for business. These days, the only bars I visit are the club rooms at the VFW or American Legion. Most of the guys there are seniors, so if they start woofing, it's more funny than threatening.
    Logic, hienykins, ex95B10 and 3 others like this.
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    First off, welcome to the forum.

    As to your question. Always maintain your situational awareness, which your friend obviously didn't (since he was followed out without knowing). Avoid places where incidents are likely to happen (bars being one of them). Don't wait around for situations to escalate, leave at the first sign of trouble.

    Or......get an ugly girlfriend that even a drunk wouldn't want!
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    VIP Member Array StormRhydr's Avatar
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    "Please Advise".... OK. Heres some advice you wont want to hear: STAY OUT OF BARS.

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    Thanks to the foresight of our founding fathers, you have a right to keep and bear arms in this greatest of countries. When you choose to exercise that right, you also agree to accept all of the responsibilities that go along with it, which are many and another subject. But one of them is to practice the avoid, evade, de-escalate mentality. If we back up a little we will see that it was poor judgment on your part to go into a bar where you know people drink too much and look for trouble. You increased your chances of being that target by going there, and you should have known that. Things change with regard to your lifestyle when you decide to exercise the right to carry a firearm, if your not ready to accept that, perhaps you should rethink weather or not your ready to accept all that goes along with that right. You said you tried to de-escalate, you tried to avoid, and that's good. But you skipped the first step and that was to use your better judgment and choose to avoid which would have prevented you from having to use the other two to try to get out of a fix brought about by doing that.
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    VIP Member Array Kennydale's Avatar
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    If you go to that bar often. Let the owner know, maybe they need a professional bouncer.
    atctimmy likes this.
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