New girlfriend (w/bi-polar ex)

This is a discussion on New girlfriend (w/bi-polar ex) within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; You have known this woman for two months?? Not exactly a long term relationship to me. It is a recipe for disaster for you. You ...

Page 3 of 6 FirstFirst 123456 LastLast
Results 31 to 45 of 88

Thread: New girlfriend (w/bi-polar ex)

  1. #31
    VIP Member Array Spirit51's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    West Central Missouri
    Posts
    2,248
    You have known this woman for two months?? Not exactly a long term relationship to me. It is a recipe for disaster for you. You have to kill ex....may end up serving time....her kids will hate you...she will cool. Ex kills you....he will end up serving time. Either way your "relationship" will be over. What does SHE want? Would she accept him being killed? If so...refer her to a quailified firearms trainer and let her get a weapon. It will be much better if she has to put him down.
    Don't get caught up in this damasel in distress and knight in shining armor action. Does she have family? Let them get involved. You have to look at your real reason for doing this...sometimes it is not the right choice to play the "hero".
    A woman must not depend on protection by men. A woman must learn to protect herself.
    Susan B. Anthony
    A armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one has to back it up with his life.
    Robert Heinlein

  2. Remove Ads

  3. #32
    Member Array tapout1003's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    ohio
    Posts
    372
    Solo I used to be just you. I'd put it all on the line for a friend. If I believed they were right or a girl was being abused I was there.Hell or high water I'd make the stand right with them.I even smacked a complete stranger that was tuning up his GF in a parking lot. I just can't watch someone get hurt. I've tried to save more people than I care to admit. I've been in fights, chased,phone calls,people coming to my house, and worried about an ex husband shooting me in the back. Still to this day I sit with my back to the wall. Even in my own office. I don't live in fear but I pay attention. You know what ..it's just not worth it. I spent thousands of dollars and realized I can't save the world. Nothing against U or her but just be careful because no one will try to save you. Good luck man I hope it works out.
    "When you reload in low light encounters, don't put your flashlight in
    your back pocket.. If you light yourself up, you'll look like an angel
    or the tooth fairy...and you're gonna be one of 'em pretty soon."

    Clint Smith

  4. #33
    Distinguished Member Array mr.stuart's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    usa-southeast texas
    Posts
    1,698
    I have been in situations like this many times,things never worked out good.I am not tying to be hurtful toward you but I would get out now.These situations can go sideways real fast.Just my 2 cents.Wish you the best.

  5. #34
    VIP Member
    Array Miggy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Miami-Dade, FL
    Posts
    6,258
    Question of Ohioans: Is there a way to have this guy committed against his will? I know in Florida we have some act where if 2 or more certified agencies and/or individuals determine that the guy is a danger to himself or others he can be committed until he gets well. The gentleman in question, being bipolar, may need to be put on meds and then have a doctor speak to him at lenght.
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  6. #35
    Member Array Pickpocket's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Houston
    Posts
    241
    Here's a question -

    What has SHE done to hasten the end of all this drama? Everything sounds as though SOLOLUCKY is the one putting in most of the effort. Could make for an unexpected ending.

    Sorry, no advice; just an observation.

  7. #36
    Senior Member Array cagueits's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Puerto Rico
    Posts
    911
    Quote Originally Posted by QKShooter View Post
    He may not want a direct confrontation & you might walk out the door and unknowingly be Center Of Mass aligned in his high power rifle scope cross-hairs from half a block away.
    Yep, that would be one of my concerns too.

  8. #37
    Administrator
    Array SIXTO's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    19,661
    Quote Originally Posted by Miggy View Post
    Question of Ohioans: Is there a way to have this guy committed against his will? I know in Florida we have some act where if 2 or more certified agencies and/or individuals determine that the guy is a danger to himself or others he can be committed until he gets well. The gentleman in question, being bipolar, may need to be put on meds and then have a doctor speak to him at lenght.
    Yes, it can be done. Its at max of 72 hrs the can be held, with or with out a Dr's care. You have to show that the person is a danger to themselves or others. This situation would not fit according to Ohio's standards.
    "Just blame Sixto"

  9. #38
    bae
    bae is offline
    Member Array bae's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    San Juan Islands
    Posts
    257
    - Single mom, with kids
    - With the baggage of a crazy ex
    - Ans, crazy ex is the father of the kids.

    Run, do not walk, from this situation. It will not turn out well.

  10. #39
    Senior Member Array Smith&Wessonfan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    508
    Quote Originally Posted by azchevy View Post
    To be brutally honest, no woman is worth that much drama in my life. I would walk away. Too many people who are drama free in this world to put yourself in harms way for someone elses mistakes. But that is just me.
    I'll second that. Drop her and her kids like a bad habit.

  11. #40
    Moderator
    Array Bark'n's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    West Central Missouri
    Posts
    9,917
    Dear SOLOLUCKY...

    We certainly do not have all the facts surrounding your personal relationship with your girlfriend. Like, how and where you met her. How you got involved and such as that. We only know what you have chosen to share with us.

    I’m not saying we want to know all those details. I’m merely pointing out that advice and comments from members here are only based on facts you choose to share with us in this public forum.

    We do know, what you have told us, is that apparently her ex-husband left her for another woman. She did not leave him. She has been in the relationship with her ex-husband long enough to bear more than one child with him. You have been seeing her for what… two or three months? Also, immediately after getting her TPO, TRO, ex-parte or whatever today, she was immediately not happy that the court has given her total custody of the kids. I believe your quote was “which kinda upset her cuz she said she never wanted to keep his kids from him.” This is clearly a woman who has not yet decided to sever her ties to an ex-husband… who has known mental problems.

    You have yet to reveal whether her ex-husband has been physically abusive towards her or the children. If he has… why is it her husband was the one who left her and not the other way around. If he has… has she pressed charges against him in the past? If not, why?

    It seems that you have essentially placed yourself in the middle of a relationship that has on going domestic issues between your girlfriend and her ex-husband that clearly has not been resolved. And with an individual in which you have stated has been diagnosed with a mental illness.

    You are the one bringing a gun into the equation with your assertion that “I have the right to defend myself, and I am not going to be disarmed.” That’s true… you do have a right to defend yourself. What you do not have the right to do… and the courts will not excuse you for… is bringing a gun into a situation of which you knew could escalate into a killing situation.

    My friend, I hate to say this, but what you are essentially doing is you are knowing placing yourself in a situation that you knew could ultimately be a killing scenario. I would venture to say that while you and your girlfriend know you are armed… her ex-husband does not know that.

    That shows willful intent on your part and I can assure you the court and a jury will not look kindly on that. If the prosecutor were to find this forum, you are as good as toast. You will not have the luxury of being able to use “Justifiable Self Defense” in this case. That is only reserved for cases of immediate and "otherwise unavoidable" threat of death or crippling injury. A rookie prosecutor straight out of law school could easily show how you clearly ignored ways to avoid a situation that you knew could become a killing scenario. What it will most likely come down to will be some degree of manslaughter on your part.

    If you think the police are going to actively be involved in mediating a domestic situation between three people… one of which is armed with a gun and one of which is a mental patient in a “proactive” manner before it gets out of hand, then I think you are unrealistically optimistic about what role the police will or can play in a situation such as this. They are not wanting to accept the liability of what can happen. The police are a “reactionary enforcer of the laws in general.” What they will do, is respond after the fact and clean up the mess and hold the one left standing for the court and a jury to decide who is responsible for the situation that turned into tragedy.

    You made a comment how you have spent a night in jail before. My friend, being in the penitentiary for 7 - 10 years or 35 - Life is not even like being a local jail. I would recommend you go to your video store and rent a season of HBO series OZ and ask yourself if you would like to spend a significant portion of your life in a situation such as that. Some people actually delude themselves into believing it would be cool or they are macho enough to have a decent stay there.


    When I said "Guns and Mental Illness Don't Mix" in my first post... I wasn't referring to her ex-husband having a gun. (Although that is a possibility). I was referring to the gun that you bring into the equation.

    There have been a lot of good posts and good advice on this thread, which you requested.

    It would seem to me… and I very well could be mistaken, but you seem to have made up your mind how you were going to deal with this before you even made your first post.

    Have you ever seen in the movies where the skydiver who jumps out of an airplane and freezes... and all the people on the ground are screaming, "pull the ripcord... Pull The Ripcord... PULL THE RIPCORD! And yet the skydiver never snaps out of it even though he sees the ground rushing up before him.

    There is a saying "There are none so blind, as those who WILL not see."

    One has to ask that, with all you have to lose, what is your motivation for staying in a relationship that you yourself describe as being a Jerry Springer episode...

    Do you see yourself as a " her knight in shining armor" or her " personal protector and bodyguard?"

    You have a lot to lose, such as your freedom, any money or fortune you have, or your life for having only invested a few months in a relationship that has some very noted domestic instability.

    You seem to be embarking on an "extreme sport" that has very little up side for you.

    Of course all this is just my opinion and the opinions of those in this forum who have posted in this tread based on our experiences.

    If you have any doubt… I would seriously consider consulting with a good and respectable criminal defense attorney and be honest with him. Let him know that you have a CCW and fully intend on keeping your gun with you and using it if you are forced to. It would be worth whatever fee he would charge you for a consultation for this specific scenario. L. Kenneth Hanson in Delaware, Ohio is listed in the “Attorney List” of our forum. His phone number is 740-363-1213.

    Also, make an appointment to meet with your local prosecutor. He will be happy to meet with you if you take the trouble to make an appointment. (After all, he represents the collective people where you live.)

    Solo… I want you to know and be clear on the fact that I am not judging you or would not judge you here. This is your life and certainly none of mine or anyone else’s business. People here have only responded because you have invited us to do so. I hope you find the advice you are looking for. Just don’t expect a lot of folks here to agree with how you are choosing to continue placing yourself at risk. I think it’s been apparent by the responses other members have posted. We just don’t want to see a good guy get into a jam he may not be able to walk away from.

    Just remember, we all here have the benefit of seeing this with detached objectivity. Don’t get caught not being able to see the forest through the trees. I am glad you started this thread. I think it has given all of us good things to think about if we ever find ourselves in similar circumstances. I would be anxious to know what advice your LE friend gave you. Just remember, LEO’s are not attorneys. It will be the attorneys who send you to prison or keep you out.
    Last edited by Bark'n; May 25th, 2007 at 12:08 AM.
    -Bark'n
    Semper Fi


    "The gun is the great equalizer... For it is the gun, that allows the meek to repel the monsters; Whom are bigger, stronger and without conscience, prey on those who without one, would surely perish."

  12. #41
    Senior Member Array Juggernaut's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Virginia, USA
    Posts
    569
    Restraining orders don't mean jack to demented people. I don't mean to upset you with this story, but this happened just a few miles from where I was living/working at the time:
    http://content.hamptonroads.com/stor...5958&ran=66113
    Vis consili expers mole ruit sua.
    -Horace

  13. #42
    VIP Member Array obxned's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    OBX, NC
    Posts
    2,655

    Angry

    I can't envision any good outcome. Are you sure this relationship is worth it???
    "If we loose Freedom here, there's no place to escape to. This is the Last Place on Earth!" Ronald Reagan

  14. #43
    Senior Member Array Pitmaster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Wherever there's fried chicken or barbecue
    Posts
    642
    Your reason for staying in this relationship and being this "friend of 2-3 months" protector suggests to me that you are not a sheepdog. You are looking for the opportunity to get be a protector for your own selfish reasons no matter how much you say otherwise. There has not been one post agreeing with your course of action. I hope your decisions don't reflect poorly on the rest of us, but if things go wrong they will. No good is going to come out of this.
    Pitmaster

    HELGA: Where are you going?
    HAGAR: To sign a peace treaty with the King of England.
    HELGA: Then why take all those weapons?
    HAGAR: First we gotta negotiate...

  15. #44
    Administrator
    Array SIXTO's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    19,661
    There is a very good clue early in this thread about the OP mindset in this situation.
    Make sure you are using the head on your shoulders to think this through.
    "Just blame Sixto"

  16. #45
    VIP Member
    Array Miggy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Miami-Dade, FL
    Posts
    6,258
    Quote Originally Posted by SIXTO View Post
    Yes, it can be done. Its at max of 72 hrs the can be held, with or with out a Dr's care. You have to show that the person is a danger to themselves or others. This situation would not fit according to Ohio's standards.
    Thnx Sixto. Damn, seems like the impossible scenario.
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

Page 3 of 6 FirstFirst 123456 LastLast

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Similar Threads

  1. .38 or .38+p for Girlfriend?
    By AZ Husker in forum Defensive Ammunition & Ballistics
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: February 15th, 2008, 05:35 PM
  2. What caliber for Polar Bear?
    By sisco in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: November 27th, 2007, 03:59 PM
  3. Polar Bear Versus Sled Dog - Who Wins?
    By Captain Crunch in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: October 11th, 2007, 02:08 PM
  4. Ultra Stinger Vs. the Polar Bear and the Bear Cub
    By black bear 84 in forum Related Gear & Equipment
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: December 19th, 2006, 03:23 PM

Search tags for this page

bipolar ex fixation on new girlfriend

,

bipolar fixated on girlfriend

,

dealing with new girlfriend and bipolar ex wife

,

states that don't support deadly force citizens self defense

Click on a term to search for related topics.