New girlfriend (w/bi-polar ex) - Page 6

New girlfriend (w/bi-polar ex)

This is a discussion on New girlfriend (w/bi-polar ex) within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I have been there........the second time I EVER unholstered my sidearm in a defensive manner was confronting my then GF's ex. He was, and still ...

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Thread: New girlfriend (w/bi-polar ex)

  1. #76
    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
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    Alright.....here it is

    I have been there........the second time I EVER unholstered my sidearm in a defensive manner was confronting my then GF's ex. He was, and still is, bad news......hard drugs, booze, bad temper (he beat her in front of the children). I happened upon him attempting to RIP the door off the hinges to get in the house one afternoon........I just honked my horn and asked if "she" was home? He raises the crowbar he was "addressing" the front door with and approaches me.......Bad thing....I skinned my P229 and cleared my background..........

    He somehow had a sober thought....dropped the crowbar and hawled boogty outta there.

    Cops showed up and after a showing of my CCP and writing statements, I got a "quiet" good job and told to call if he showed back up. He never showed up unannonnced again.

    Reader's Digest version of my story..........

    Bottom line.....if your in it with her for the long hawl......then be there!
    Be strong for her AND the kids. Stay armed and keep it on you or outta the childrens sight and locked away from any ammo.....you know all this. Above all else, Love your new family and always be stronger than HIM in every way and manner!

    I married the then GF and prevailed.....and I hope your experience is much less than I had to deal with.

    Stay safe and check your six


  2. #77
    Senior Member Array SOLOLUCKY's Avatar
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    Well, after a re-evalutaion this weekend, I told her to square things away with her ex to get him properly "helped"...I will still talk to her via phone but not near as much direct contact.
    She agrees and I think this is a safe route of travel to keep us all 'safe'.

    I still don't feel I am abandoning her just putting a lil 'safe' space.
    He has shown no sign of himself since the TPO went into effect..well its not even officially into effect as he has yet to be served but during a stop-by visit thursday nite he was shown it and knows. just the cops have not caught up with him directly yet. So he, seemingly, has shown no direct danger signs so thats a good thing.

    Thanks for all the advice...it little musta, kinda sunk into an old hard heard.
    R1

    This is mine. That is yours.

    Lets keep it that way.

  3. #78
    Senior Member Array Pitmaster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SOLOLUCKY View Post
    .

    Thanks for all the advice...it little musta, kinda sunk into an old hard heard.
    Good luck, I'm a few years older than you, and my head is kind of hard too.
    Pitmaster

    HELGA: Where are you going?
    HAGAR: To sign a peace treaty with the King of England.
    HELGA: Then why take all those weapons?
    HAGAR: First we gotta negotiate...

  4. #79
    VIP Member Array ExSoldier's Avatar
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    Wink I would think so...

    Quote Originally Posted by Shizzlemah View Post
    But does castle doctorine work if it is not his residence ? Like at the girlfriends home ??

    This is a pretty crappy situation. If there is the threat, help HER get a CCW.
    I'm pretty sure the castle doctrine still applies. It would if you were lawfully armed in a hotel room. In any case there is another doctrine still at work: "Defense of a third party," should apply no matter what the location so long as the weapon is lawfully possessed in that location.
    Former Army Infantry Captain; 25 yrs as an NRA Certified Instructor; Avid practitioner of the martial art: KLIK-PAO.

  5. #80
    VIP Member Array Sig 210's Avatar
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    "I still don't feel I am abandoning her just putting a lil 'safe' space.
    He has shown no sign of himself since the TPO went into effect..well its not even officially into effect as he has yet to be served but during a stop-by visit thursday nite he was shown it and knows. just the cops have not caught up with him directly yet. So he, seemingly, has shown no direct danger signs so thats a good thing."

    Good on the both of you. It is better that way.

  6. #81
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    Dear SOLO...

    If I appeared to be harsh and uncaring, it was totally unintentional. I am glad you feel you are seeing things a little more clearly.

    No one wants to see anyone in the right go to prison for killing someone... and there are many, many good people in prison on cases that CLEARLY should have been ruled Justifiable! It ain't right, but it is reality!

    I could just see soooo many ways that a shooting in the scenario you laid out in this forum "could" go bad for you, and no wants to see that happen! And not that you wouldn't be justified. But the courts do go after people if you have give them half a chance. And anything regarding a domestic situation regarding people in relationships and ex-relationships gives prosecutors that 1/2 chance they are looking for.

    Good Luck Solo... I agree, I think once your friend gets herself totally squared away with her ex-husband and he gets the help he needs and the time he needs so he can come to grips with their marriage being over then things will be clear sailing ahead for all of you.

    Please keep us posted if there are any significant developments.

    Peace Out Brother, and don't be afraid to post here. We really are on your side, although at times our opinions/advice may not seem like it.

    Thanks for your courage in sharing with us.
    -Bark'n
    Semper Fi


    "The gun is the great equalizer... For it is the gun, that allows the meek to repel the monsters; Whom are bigger, stronger and without conscience, prey on those who without one, would surely perish."

  7. #82
    Senior Member Array rhinokrk's Avatar
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    But please, this isn't a ... "should I carry a 'Jennings or a Sig' thread", let's treat it (and future threads like this) as such.

    We all have problems, and sometimes the answer isn't what we want.
    Last edited by QKShooter; May 30th, 2007 at 08:00 AM. Reason: partially off topic
    Get the U.N. out of the U.S.
    Get the U.S. out of the U.N.

  8. #83
    Senior Member Array rhinokrk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SOLOLUCKY View Post
    Well, after a re-evalutaion this weekend, I told her to square things away with her ex to get him properly "helped"...I will still talk to her via phone but not near as much direct contact.
    She agrees and I think this is a safe route of travel to keep us all 'safe'.

    I still don't feel I am abandoning her just putting a lil 'safe' space.
    He has shown no sign of himself since the TPO went into effect..well its not even officially into effect as he has yet to be served but during a stop-by visit thursday nite he was shown it and knows. just the cops have not caught up with him directly yet. So he, seemingly, has shown no direct danger signs so thats a good thing.

    Thanks for all the advice...it little musta, kinda sunk into an old hard heard.
    I hope that everything works out well. You made a hard choice, and I hope whatever relationship you choose later down the road works well for you both.

    Thanks for sharing,
    God Bless

    KRK.
    Get the U.N. out of the U.S.
    Get the U.S. out of the U.N.

  9. #84
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SOLOLUCKY View Post
    He has shown no sign of himself since the TPO went into effect ... has shown no direct danger signs so thats a good thing.
    From a certain point of view, making one's self scarce might well be a danger sign, in an of itself. The "calm before the storm," and all that. Caution, until it's well in the past.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
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  10. #85
    Member Array ProtectedPrincess's Avatar
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    I don't know about in different states but get a protective order instead of a restaining order!
    A restaining order is just a growl a protective order has some bite to it.
    Plus while holding a protective order, at least in OK, you can have tails and stake out of officers at your home and every where you go.

    It's harder to have it granted, usually have to have had him abuse her with intent to cause life-threatening injury "", but if you are truly scared for her/her kids life then seriously look into it.

    I know I'm very glad I did with my ex-fiance'

    ~Teg
    Last edited by ProtectedPrincess; June 1st, 2007 at 11:50 PM.

  11. #86
    Senior Member Array SOLOLUCKY's Avatar
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    Teg,
    Yes, thats what she has currently is a TPO.
    Court comes up in a week or so the deal with the "T" part of it..(temporary).
    It was interesting learning about these things.
    Unfortunate but interesting.

    He is still scarce and what contact there is via phone in regards to the kids, which is against the TPO, is civil.
    R1

    This is mine. That is yours.

    Lets keep it that way.

  12. #87
    Member Array DizTbone's Avatar
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    Solo...

    Still keeping you, her, and the kids in my thoughts and prayers...

    Michael
    XD9 Service, CZ-75B, Glock 21, Kel-Tec P3AT
    Rifles...yes...and shotguns....and
    "Unofficial Legislative Attache...er...Watchdog...er...Agitator."
    "Yes, I vote...but not for the candidate I prefer: None of the Above."

  13. #88
    Member Array huntthehunter's Avatar
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    Solo, I appreciate your stance on 'never leaving a friend in need'. However, it seems that you are much more concerned about helping this woman than she is!

    Also, you might want to consider that having a heart to heart discussion might be the best course of action. You can explain to her your concerns, and you can bluntly ask her where she stands with her ex. Having her bash you in the back of the head while you attempt to hold him off would be a bad way to find out where she stands....

    You are a grown man, and will ultimately have to make your own decision. Remember that affairs of the heart do not tend to make people react in a rational matter :-)

    Good luck, and stay safe.

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