A Situation last night
This is a discussion on A Situation last night within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I was on my way into Kroger and standing in the middle of the entrance to the parking lot were a college girl and an ...
October 26th, 2007 04:45 PM
A Situation last night
I was on my way into Kroger and standing in the middle of the entrance to the parking lot were a college girl and an older man. I didn't think much of it I just went around them but when I got out of the car I heard the man yelling at the girl arguing about something. I tinkered with my keys for a couple of seconds while examining both of them. The man looked to be a homeless person while the girl looked to be an attractive college student. She looked scared. I caught part of the conversation and the man said, "I hate people like you." This kind of fueled the homeless guy profile of a beggar that didn't receive any money or sympathy from the girl.
I kept my eye out a couple of minutes longer but he started staring at me. It was night and there were 2 or 3 other people in the parking lot. I wanted to go over and ask the girl if there was a problem with this man bothering her but my gut told me to avoid the confrontation since I was carrying. As a college student I look young and didn't want to escalate the situation by adding my opinion which may be construed as trying to impress a girl.
So I went into Kroger, bought my stuff intending to check to see if they were still there when I got out. They weren't there and now I feel guilty that I made the wrong choice. I really hope he didn't hurt her or make her feel afraid for her life.
So what would you have done?
If given a second chance I would have walked over but would I have been in the right? I wouldn't want to have to draw on an unarmed man if he started to get violent or aggressive because I was standing up for her.
The consensus I have gathered about conceal and carrying is not to look for trouble but this is a grey area for me. I wasn't a 100% sure what they were talking about or if she was threatened. Is having to think about protecting others(I mean when you are not sure about the threat level) the wrong way to think when carrying?
Oh yeah I'm new. Hi.
Last edited by JumpJump; October 26th, 2007 at 04:46 PM.
Reason: Forgot something
October 26th, 2007 05:14 PM
Welcome to the forum!!
Monday Morning Quarterbacking yourself is always good. It keeps you in league for the next time something happens. Most here will tell you to never interject yourself into a situation you're not apart of. I tend to agree in the vast majority of circumstances. However, there is nothing wrong with hanging around and making sure someone else leaves safely. Sometimes, just being seen by the argivated person and their knowledge that a 3rd party is aware of whats going on will help de-escalate.
There is a lot of discussion around these boards about whether or not you carry to protect 'me and my own' or whether you'd be willing to jump in for some stranger. It's a very difficult decision and often enough will have to be made in the heat of the moment when ticking seconds count.
Myself, I would have hung around the lot. Not really close to the argument, but close enough that something could have been done. My reasons are rather unique, though, so I'll let some others chime in.
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October 26th, 2007 05:19 PM
Well the way i dress i would appear a homeless old phart too lol . IMHO you did just right . You noted the problem , and went on about your business . Sometimes it is hard to realise that a ccw ticket is not a cop ticket , and imparts no duty or obligation to become involved in others discussions .
The man looked to be a homeless person while the girl looked to be an attractive college student.
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We only begin to understand folks after we stop and think .
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October 26th, 2007 05:23 PM
I gotta agree with 6B. I've been known to hang around and watch whats going on both before and after CCW. It gives you the benefit of thinking before hand IF THIS: THEN THIS.
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October 26th, 2007 05:27 PM
Thanks for the replies it makes me feel better about it. My major right now is Police Studies so one day soon I'll be a cop of some sort.
October 26th, 2007 05:41 PM
I would have sat in my car waiting until the matter was setted, just in case.
Les Baer 45
N.R.A. Patron Life Member
October 26th, 2007 06:07 PM
I would have notified the store manager and let them know they had a panhandler verbally attacking/harassing people outside their door. Put it back on the store to do something about it....if you've got the time, hang out in your car for a little but and see, but have your cell phone at the ready.
My 2 cents...without being there
- know the difference
is a fancy name for crappy fighter
You have never lived until you have almost died. For those that have fought for it, life has a special flavor the protected will never know
October 26th, 2007 07:02 PM
I have a daughter in college, I'd be thinking that could be my daughter. I would have to hang around just in case. Maybe It's my father instinct.
The world is filled with violence. Because criminals carry guns, we decent law-abiding cititzens should also have guns.Otherwise they will win and the decent people will loss.''
-James Earl Jones.
October 26th, 2007 07:15 PM
I would have no problem with hanging around. Your permit does not make you a cop, but it should make you more cognizant of your surroundings...thus, I would wait around to see if I needed to call 911.
...and, welcome to the forum!
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October 26th, 2007 07:16 PM
Contact store employee and find out if they have security/cameras. Stick around and let the homeless guy see I was waiting around and watching. Having a CCW doesn't make you responsible for others, but looking the other way isn't being a good citizen.
"In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock." Thomas Jefferson
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October 26th, 2007 07:19 PM
Welcome to the forum from FL's Space Coast.
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October 26th, 2007 07:32 PM
You made the right choice by not intervening. You didn't know the circumstances, and your first guess at who these people were was just that - a guess.
It sounds to me like a perfect moment to "have to call somebody", pull out your cell phone, and move next to the door, while keeping an eye on them.
Your instincts were good in this case, I think. It just might have been good to hang around for another few seconds to see what unfolded.
oh, and welcome to the forum
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Is this hard to understand? Then why does it get unintelligible to some people when 5 little words are changed?
October 26th, 2007 07:39 PM
Ditto what SixBravo and BobTheGreat said. Hang around, pretend to be talking on cell while observing. Don't act unless situation excalates or the beggar approaches you.
October 26th, 2007 08:32 PM
I agree. I think I would have been distant but available. (2 daughters of my own) Being that the both of you are college students, I would be interested in the response to your question from the ladies in the womens studies dept. at your school.
October 26th, 2007 09:38 PM
Thats funny that you should mention women's studies, I'm taking a women's studies class right now(requirement) and man it's boring as heck. Maybe I'll ask them about it.
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