Advice needed on a domestic problem: - Page 2

Advice needed on a domestic problem:

This is a discussion on Advice needed on a domestic problem: within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Benn in a few, thankfully none turned violent...at work. The restraining order should include her place of employment. I am not sure if you are ...

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 16 to 29 of 29

Thread: Advice needed on a domestic problem:

  1. #16
    VIP Member Array Sticks's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    3,479
    Benn in a few, thankfully none turned violent...at work.

    The restraining order should include her place of employment. I am not sure if you are a public business (retail store) or office. Either way, persons at the point of entry should be made aware of the person of interest, nothing more (READ - they do not need to know who or why, just that that person is barred from the building and if he shows up, he is trespassing), and to notify police first, then management of their presence. It does not matter if she takes a vacation or leave of absence, the husband does not know it and may still come looking for her.

    Exceptions should be made for her parking, and an escort for her to and from the building while outside.

    Beyond that, IT IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM! Do what you can to accommodate her at work if she has no other option, and no more. Remember, you only have one side of the story...hers. It may be accurate, it may be embellished.
    Sticks

    Grasseater // Grass~eat~er noun, often attributive \ˈgras-ē-tər\
    A person who is incapable of independent thought; a person who is herd animal-like in behavior; one who cannot distinguish between right and wrong; a foolish person.
    See also Sheep


  2. #17
    Moderator
    Array RETSUPT99's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Central Florida
    Posts
    45,337
    There appears to be a common message in all the threads...namely, ignore your handle, "Resqu2".

    This problem has been a domestic story for as long as time...it's not a great one for happy endings. Stay as far away as possible when it comes to being a 'helping hand'.

    Advise her as to legal procedures, and keep eyes in the back of your head.

    The outcome of these events could become another thread on this forum...hopefully, it will be a good outcome for all...

    Stay armed...be very alert...stay safe!
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

    ***********************************
    Certified Glock Armorer
    NRA Life Member[/B]

  3. #18
    VIP Member Array Cupcake's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    3,164
    Is this a retail location? Do the front/back doors have to be unlocked? Other than advising the owner and posting a pic for everyone to discreetly call 911 if they see the guy, I don't know how else you can help. Stay on your toes, and like already suggested, change her hours if possible and maybe walk her to/from her car. It wouldn't hurt if she could drive a different car for a while, since he knows her current one.
    Spend few minutes learning about my journey from Zero to Athlete in this
    Then check out my blog! www.BodyByMcDonalds.com

    Cupcake - 100 pound loser, adventurer, Ironman Triathlete.

  4. #19
    Distinguished Member Array Paymeister's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    1,536
    On reflection and on gaining wisdom from the other posts, I would have to amend my earlier advice on active assistance: I agree (now) that staying well clear (and following above advice from others) would be your best course of action.

    Thanks, all, for helping me see this more clearly.

  5. #20
    New Member Array Resqu2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    SW Va
    Posts
    7
    Quote Originally Posted by retsupt99 View Post
    There appears to be a common message in all the threads...namely, ignore your handle, "Resqu2".
    Thanks for the advice, My handle comes from 20 plus years in the fire and Rescue service

  6. #21
    New Member Array Resqu2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    SW Va
    Posts
    7
    This post is to answer a few questions that have been brought up.

    The company only works one shift and it's a manufacturing job, no public is involved. We have all doors posted and a big sign on the gate. She has told him not to be here that it would be trespassing if he was. So far, no problems.

    Everyone agrees that no involvement is the best and that is my course of action. If he or anyone else walks through a door with a weapon then I have no choice but to get involved. I have spent 20 plus years trying to help people and the last thing I want to do is be involved in a shooting or get shot trying to help someone but I couldn't stand by and watch anyone get killed IF I can intervene at that time.

  7. #22
    VIP Member Array havegunjoe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Minnesota
    Posts
    2,206
    Just something to think about. Let's say you are another employee of this company but nobody told you of the situation. You see this guy from a window walking across the parking lot for the front door but don't see the handgun he has under his coat. The receptionist doesn't have a clue because nobody gave her a picture or told her anything. He walks in and kills the receptionist. He walks through a door and starts to systematically kill others. Nobody knows what is going on because nobody was told of any potential danger. No course of action was pre-arranged because everyone that knew decided to "not get involved". If I survived I'd sue the crap out of this company.
    This is a fellow employee that has a problem that could potentially spill over onto everyone she works with. That is unfortunate but things like this happen. You don't need to volunteer to be her body guard but I think it is in the companies and employee's best interest to notify everyone and formulate a plan of action. Imagine what would happen if a school was threatened and the administration decided to just keep quiet about it. A company has a duty to try and provide as safe a working environment as possible. Ignoring this does not do that.
    DEMOCRACY IS TWO WOLVES AND A LAMB VOTING ON WHAT TO HAVE FOR LUNCH. LIBERTY IS A WELL ARMED LAMB CONtestING THE VOTE.

    Certified Instructor for Minnesota Carry Permit
    NRA Pistol and Personal Protection Insrtuctor
    Utah Permit Certified Instructor

  8. #23
    Moderator
    Array RETSUPT99's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Central Florida
    Posts
    45,337
    Quote Originally Posted by Resqu2 View Post
    Thanks for the advice, My handle comes from 20 plus years in the fire and Rescue service
    I do salute your service...
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

    ***********************************
    Certified Glock Armorer
    NRA Life Member[/B]

  9. #24
    Senior Member Array dnowell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    587
    I know it's not a popular opinion here, but I think it'd be a real good idea to lawyer up. If something happens it could really hit the fan liability wise, and you need to be able to demonstrate that you acted in good faith and have a good defense.

  10. #25
    Member Array CURMUDGEON5's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    n.e. ohio
    Posts
    153
    Resqu2:
    Tell the lady not to tell the husband that she has confided in you.

  11. #26
    New Member Array Resqu2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    SW Va
    Posts
    7
    Quote Originally Posted by CURMUDGEON5 View Post
    Resqu2:
    Tell the lady not to tell the husband that she has confided in you.
    +1 on that, Things have gone well this week, she received one call early in the week telling her to "enjoy your last day at work" I was tense and watchful most all of that day as this is the only place he can find her if he wanted to do anything. She says most of the calls and txt msgs have stopped now. The longer it goes, the better I feel about the situation.

    Again, thanks for all the advice, lots of points were brought up that I would of never thought about. Glad I signed up on this site.

  12. #27
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    texas
    Posts
    15,179
    The bad thing is he knows where she works and could just sit in ambush waiting for her to leave then follow her til he sees an opportunity to attack,just cause the messages have stopped doesn't mean lower you're guard i would be even more alert
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  13. #28
    Senior Member Array cagueits's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Puerto Rico
    Posts
    911
    You need to inform homever handles your legal matters / insurance of what is going on.

    Get a copy of the restraining order and ensure the work place is listed and does not inlude phrases like "while the person is at the place of work" - that will mean he can come by when she is not around work and LE can't arrest him for being at your place of work. Also, while right now she may be all for processing his spouse for domestic violence, she could latter get reattached to him, give him a break, etc, and have the order dismissed, just to start the abuse cycle all over again. Discuss this matter with your legal / HR / insurance person to see what options you may have.

    Look into serving him tresspass papers; right now is all hearsay as far as who told him to stay away from the property, but if tresspass papers are served, it becomes a criminal matter if he shows up to work, regarless of if she is around or not - plus it is another charge he can get extra time to stay in jail for (violation of a protection order and of a tresspass warning as well).

    Threats by email, telephone, etc, are crimes on some jurisditions. Save the communications for evidence and file a complaint with local LE / prosecutors office.

  14. #29
    Senior Member Array cagueits's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Puerto Rico
    Posts
    911
    As a sidebar, you should be talking to your personal (not your employers) attorney / insurance person about what is going on. If you end up shooting, you may be the one getting charged for homicide / murder if the stars / planets are not lined up right when the DA reviews the case.

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Sponsored Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Similar Threads

  1. What would you do? (advice needed)
    By fatcat in forum General Firearm Discussion
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: July 17th, 2009, 10:30 AM
  2. Advice needed on a new gun.
    By MyMonkey in forum Defensive Carry Guns
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: May 31st, 2008, 10:48 AM
  3. Advice needed
    By V8 in forum Defensive Knives & Other Weapons
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: May 19th, 2008, 04:13 PM
  4. Advice needed for problem neighborhood kids.
    By Sticks in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: May 5th, 2008, 10:03 AM
  5. Advice needed on a AR-15 Rifle.
    By Kimo in forum General Firearm Discussion
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: April 30th, 2006, 10:29 PM

Search tags for this page

advice about domestic problem
,

domestic problem advice

Click on a term to search for related topics.