Tricky decision.

This is a discussion on Tricky decision. within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Your neighbor from three houses away appears at your front door, highly aggitated. She says her immediate neighbor (two houses from you) is under attack ...

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Thread: Tricky decision.

  1. #1
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    Tricky decision.

    Your neighbor from three houses away appears at your front door, highly aggitated. She says her immediate neighbor (two houses from you) is under attack from her husband and things are serious - and this is far from first time. She came to you knowing you are a gun owner, hoping you'd help.

    Said husband is known to you to be a gunnie - and also a highly strung individual. You establish that cops already been called but - your aggitated neighbor fears things are gonna go south real quick. She has heard shouts of ''I'll shoot you'' etc.

    So - wait for cops? Hope woman does not get shot.

    Go investigate? And risk armed confrontation?

    (Free Advil on demand for those with headache )
    Chris - P95
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    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

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  3. #2
    Ex Member Array HollowpointHank's Avatar
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    This is a hard one for sure. Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows. . . oh wrong senario. . . definitely must wait on LE to arrive. Calm the neighbor that knocked on your door but wait for LE!!

  4. #3
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    I would want to wait for LE I must admit - but wonder how I'd feel if that wife ended up on mortuary slab!
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

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    VIP Member Array Ti Carry's Avatar
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    That is a tough one. I will have to say I'm going in! in a defensive position ofcourse to try and talk them through it while waiting for LE to arrive and distracting the situation. I couldn't just stand by and not help someone in need. I am in a rual area and LE would take I bet 10 - 15 minutes minimum, so alot can happen in that time if not longer. But this would be the one and only time, cause people never learn. I would give her the bennifit of the doubt only once. Taking them back for more abuse time and time again is crap.

    Ti.

  6. #5
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    Same here - I'd reckon 10 minutes anyways - even if a car came out straight from barracks. Be matter of luck if car was on R56 in close proximity.

    Thing that is so concerning is - even 60 seconds - a minute - is a long time when things are bad. The very reason in fact we carry at all - the ability to defend immediately if so required.

    This is indeed a tricky one from several standpoints and I think we'd all agree, to having a basic wish/preference, to not getting ''involved'' - however - if there is a life at stake - as might well be perceived to be the case - how we do just stand by?

    I guess for me - I'd play it as best I saw it, at the time. Hard to preconceive of one's actions purely on hypothetical description. Without trying to be hero's .... we'd have to do what we felt was morally responsible - whatever that may be !!
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

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    I'll take those Advil now Chris. :1saufen:

    Damn tough decision.

    I think it's one of those situations that you'd have to be in to make a decision. Only because part of me says, "GO, GO, GO!!, The other part of my mind is saying, "Are you friggin' nuts?!!" :chairshot
    Heroes are people who do what has to be done, when it has to be done, regardless of the consequences

    "I like when the enemy shoots at me; then I know where the ******** are and can kill them."
    ~George Patton

    DE OPPRESSO LIBER

  8. #7
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    Wait for PD. Without backup or legal capacity what are ya gonna do? In fact you could escalate the situation even more by showing up, especially once the PD does get there. As much as we like to help our dellow man, ya need to keep a straight head as to legal and tactical responsibilities.

  9. #8
    Member Array IronRanger's Avatar
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    This might sound wierd but I might try to get the guy out of the house. Start his lawn mower, start his car, ring the bell and yell avon , some thing to get him out of his house, but going in has legal issues.

  10. #9
    Member Array oregonshooter's Avatar
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    Wait for COPS. Happened before, who's fault is that? Hers. It's bad enough that COPS have to put their ass on the line for a woman that stays in an abusive relationship, they have some authority in the husbands mind (hopefully) to do so, but you have NO BUSINESS to be there.

    You will only escalate the situation. Unless you are friends with the slimeball, then you might try diversion tactics to separate the two, but I did not get that was the case from your description.

    Your question "if there is a life at stake how can we stand by?" is only answerable in that we must realize that we may not be the answer to saving that life. Sure we might be "Billy Bad Butt" with a gun and know how to use it, but how's you verbal judo? How are your less lethal tactics?

    Don't fall into the "I got a gun and can save the world" trap! It got a guy 4 slugs at the Tacoma Mall shooting last week.

    On the other hand, I can't stand to read people telling me they would let others be murdered in front of them because they have a gun only for them and their immediate family.

    Stupid Brave is better than nothing, but you owe it to yourself to think it through. Posts like this allow us to do so before it happens, because without for arming ourselves mentally, we will likely be the "Fools rushing in!"

  11. #10
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    Get agitated neighbor somewhere out of the way so she doesn't escalate the situation.

    Go over and ring the door bell, knock or whatever to summon someone to talk to you.

    Ask to borrow something whatever. Do not ask if things are "ok" or anything that indicates you are there because of what was heard outside the house.

    Discuss recipes or whatever with whomever answers the door. Basically delay things inside until the police arrive. Likely the wife will not press charges. It will be a big shoulder shrug and it will happen again. So you also need to decide how many times you are going to "do something" about the situation.

    Probably sit down the agitated neighbor afterwards and explain to her how domestic abuse typically works, and that there really is little she can do aside from offering to be there for the wife if she decides to leave.

    Domestic calls are hated by most cops for a reason.

    -Scott-

  12. #11
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    Never, never, NEVER interpose yourself in someone else's domestic dispute. No matter how much they hate each other at that moment, you are the interloper. As often as not, you end up with both of them wanting to hurt you for getting in the middle of their issues. Stupid but true.

    As tempting as riding in on your white horse might be, leave this one to the police.

    Matt

  13. #12
    VIP Member Array ron8903's Avatar
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    wait on LO
    Nine time out of ten the female will take her hubbies side and then you will have two agenst 1

  14. #13
    Member Array LeatherneckOIF2's Avatar
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    I think I'd try something similar to what Scott said. Just knock on the door and play dumb, try to get them apart until the LEO arrive.

    Tough decision for sure, half says get in there and break it up, half says stay out and wait, hoping for the best...
    "When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a *****."
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    Semper Fi

  15. #14
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    Thx guys - well - this is purely hypothetical - just something to throw into the lion's den Of course - a very possible scenario tho too.

    Numerous very sound points made and let me say - I am no ''Knight on a white horse'', waiting to save damsels in distress - I am too old to have any aspirations about heroics. I would almost certainly have to play things cool as an uninvolved third party (and yeah, keep that aggitated neighbor controlled) - but still in the back of my fertile imagination, is the sound of gunshots and cops arriving to a corpse.
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  16. #15
    VIP Member Array Rob72's Avatar
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    As above- PD. Would suck to have the woman put a 12g load into you for shooting hubby........

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