Sunday afternoon, napping with your wife, your door gets kicked in. True story.

This is a discussion on Sunday afternoon, napping with your wife, your door gets kicked in. True story. within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Imagine you're laying in bed taking a nap on a Sunday afternoon. It's about 4 p.m. You and your wife have had a busy weekend ...

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Thread: Sunday afternoon, napping with your wife, your door gets kicked in. True story.

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    VIP Member Array grady's Avatar
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    Sunday afternoon, napping with your wife, your door gets kicked in. True story.

    Imagine you're laying in bed taking a nap on a Sunday afternoon. It's about 4 p.m. You and your wife have had a busy weekend and now you're both asleep. You are nude, and your wife is wearing only panties. Good neighborhood. You have a security alarm, but it isn't turned on. No need. Or so you thought.

    You are both awakened by the sound of breaking glass. You hear footsteps coming down your uncarpeted hallway. You grab the phone and dial 911. The call doesn't go through because the phone's batteries are too low.

    Three seconds pass from the time the glass breaks until the stranger is standing over you and your wife.

    "Get down on the floor," he says. You cower alongside your wife, waiting for commands from the intruder. You don't look at his face.

    The intruder asks if you have a gun. Then he asks about money. You and your wife lead him to another room where you give him money, again refusing to look at his face.

    The intruder forces you back to the bedroom, and then into a bathroom. He tells you to kneel by the tub...


    Okay, I just spent a portion of my evening reading the account of an actual home invasion, as described above, in The Untouched Minutes. I cannot place this in the forum about defensive books because the couple was entirely passive. The husband wrote the book, 99 pages of his description of the events intermingled with his attempts to find healing, meaning, and closure for the event.

    He was from academia, and a background of no guns and no sense of need for them. He states he never understood why his first love kept a pistol under her pillow.

    The victims knew during the ordeal the stranger could force them to do any sort of sexual act he chose, and they could offer no resistance. The intruder never showed a gun or knife, yet their fear paralyzed them. They were helpless, and freely admit it.

    The husband knows he failed as a protector. He wonders what his wife is thinking.

    After agonizing minutes where they sense the intruder may kill them at any moment, the intruder tells them he has to tie them up. He says, "Give me an hour. If you don't, I'll know it, and my homies will get you." Then he closes the bathroom door, and they listen for the sounds of him leaving.

    This is a case study of how not to prepare for a home invasion. One of the few things the couple did to perhaps increase their odds of living was to not look the perp in the face. They were cowed by fear. They also convinced him they couldn't identify him since they couldn't see well without their glasses.

    The intruder left, and they lived, ONLY because the intruder chose that ending. The intruder was in absolute, total control. He could have killed the couple in a dozen different ways, with 50 predeath scenarios, none of them good.

    They lived because of an intruder's choice. And they struggle to overcome the memories.


    Tonight as I sat on the couch reading, with my wife to my left, front door to my right 15', daughter's room to the left of the front door, and dining room door to my 7 o'clock, I know what I will do if our door gets kicked in:

    Front door kicked in: I draw the .45 from my hip and begin firing as I step forward to distance myself from my wife, as she and I were seated in a line directly perpendicular to the front door on our right. I continue moving forward and firing to my right as long as the threat exists.

    If I run out of room straight ahead, I must turn and advance on the intruder because I have no place to retreat. At that point, my options will be to continue firing until the gun is empty, reload with the mag on my left hip, draw and fire my BUG, or use a knife. If I'm out of room to move, I will have no option but to close and finish.

    Rear door kicked in: Whirl, draw, and send a hail of bullets. As they try to come through the full-length blinds on the sliding door, they will not have a good view of me.

    Same as before: with my family there and wife in the room (wife who will not cooperate with a family plan to retreat to a safe room), I will fire til empty, reload as I advance, and end the threat. I have no option to retreat. We will finish it there, one way or another. A hail of gunfire is my default on a violent home invasion. Then reload and send another hail. Then close and finish.


    After I finished this book, Channel 4 had a special report on the 10:00 news about what burglars look for when deciding what houses to break into. Daughter was on her way to bed so I called her in to watch with us.

    When it was over, somehow the wife and I had a conversation about her turning the alarm off, opening wide the sliding door, and then going off to the back of the house to do whatever. All this while I'm not home. Totally condition clear (several shades whiter than white).

    Crap. I spend $2400 upgrading our security system (not installing, but upgrading an already very good system) and she won't use it. I spend another $2000 on two high-end sliding doors that will open 6" and lock for alarmed ventilation, yet she won't use that feature either. I tell her I don't care about our stuff, but I care about her. Gotta have a ... argument to get the point across.

    If she loses her life or innocence due to a home invasion when I'm not home, where she turned the alarm off and slung the sliding door wide open (screen door doesn't lock--no need with the door's special features), well, I've done all I can do to help her save her own life.

    Ref Primal Scream's recent thread questioning whether guys really like a woman who's into guns... if I'm forced into the dating scene again, I WILL NOT date, nor even continue a conversation with, any woman who is in condition white about the evil in society. I WILL NOT watch another one I love continue on blindly into harm's way, ignoring all common sense and public indicators.

    So back to the book: I don't recommend it, unless you want to observe how people in condition white react to having the evil reality of society thrust upon them, in a way they cannot ignore as they have their entire lives previously.

    They husband writes for therapy.

    And sometimes, so. do. I.

    Damn the stupidity of some people. Damn her for threatening the life of my wife and daughter because of intentional stupidity. Yeh, I said it, and I mean it.

    What's it gonna take, a rape? Or two? A killing? Or two?

    And some people think I overreact because I always carry at home. It will be a fight to the finish--no coordinated family plan to head to a safe room, no partner with a gun for a two-pronged attack, no partner who keeps a cell phone handy and charged in order to call 911 while I'm firing--it'll just be a lot of screaming, and the sudden realization that I was right all along. It will be loud, and fast, and furious. And if I have my way, it will be a more vicious counterattack than they ever considered possible. And when it's over: I win, they lose, my family lives.

    If nothing ever happens, and we live peacefully ever after, I'm good with that. But I'm not planning on it and disregarding all means of self defense.

    The husband in the story had been having inklings of impending violence for a couple years before the invasion, but he took no action. I have those inklings. No, it's not for attention. I wish I could be relieved of them. I'm consumed by the need to study and prepare. I sit and read on my days off when I have 1,000 other things I need to be doing. I sit and read until my leg muscles cramp and my back hurts.

    I have the sense we've had our fun in the sun, we've flitted around ignorant of the present dangers, and we've been fortunate. But I think there is an end to the fairy tale. I see this society clearly now, and it isn't peaceful.

    There's no point to this, other than... venting my frustration, highlighting what NOT to do in preparation for a home invasion, perhaps finding some commonality with those few tortured souls who clearly see the danger yet have family members who drift on down the current of life... and not only ignore the alligators, but SWEAR they don't exist, and take great offense when others point them out.

    I understand why the author writes for 99 pages over one event on one Sunday afternoon. He is searching for peace. I don't think he's found it yet. If he believes he has, I think he is fooling himself.

    I'll find my peace when the screaming stops, the shots have ceased, the smoke is wafting out of my now-silent barrel, the sirens are coming (although I can't hear due to multiple shots fired), and my family is still alive and well.

    I have ignored that small voice inside my head in the past, and I always regretted it later.

    I'm not ignoring it this time. I'm preparing headlong for THAT day, THAT moment, that instant in time when time stands still.

    Call me paranoid, call me stupid... it doesn't mean a hill of beans to me. It is my destiny to be prepared for that one life-changing moment, due in at a time unknown to me.

    May God grant my daughter wisdom to learn something from me about the real world.

    May God grant my wife the removal of her blinders.

    May God grant me an undiminished focus, unfailing equipment, and shots guided to their intended targets... and the protection of my family.

    No do-overs. Gotta get it right the first time.

    I may be alone in this, but I don't plan on being out-gunned or out-fired.

    It's going to be loud. Real loud.

    Crouching nude on the bathroom floor beside my wife, waiting for some scum to determine whether we live or die?

    Screw that--it ain't happening.

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  3. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by grady View Post
    Crouching nude on the bathroom floor beside my wife, waiting for some scum to determine whether we live or die?

    Screw that--it ain't happening.
    Amen to that brother!

    I truly do not know what to do about your families propensity to live in denial.

    I am only thankful I don't share your problem. My wife carries a gun everywhere she goes.

    My step daughter is in the process of considering it for herself as well. She hardly lives in condition white, I have trained her and exposed her to the ways of the world and self defense. She once ran down a purse snatcher and beat the crap out of her in Walmart parking lot a few years back. But she now feels it's time for CCW.

    I pray for all those who do not understand who the enemy is and what the stakes are.
    -Bark'n
    Semper Fi


    "The gun is the great equalizer... For it is the gun, that allows the meek to repel the monsters; Whom are bigger, stronger and without conscience, prey on those who without one, would surely perish."

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    Grady, you did not mention whether the author of that book gained the slightest bit of awareness from that incident.

    Did he move? Did he install an alarm system? Did he buy weapons and start training?

    I'm suspecting that he did none of those things, and he is still working on his "closure".

    IMO, nothing gives closure like being ready and willing to win the next encounter with a bad guy.
    Last edited by TravisABQ; March 17th, 2009 at 08:29 AM.

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    Great writing Grady +1. One of the few long posts that had my complete attention all the way through! I feel for you, my wife is willing to learn, but has taken no initiative in that direction. My oldest daughter who is 12 is learning and willing. The other two young'uns just know not to trust strangers and stay by mommy and daddy for now.
    "I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything!" Bart Simpson

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    mkh
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    Quote Originally Posted by TravisABQ View Post
    IMO, nothing gives closure like being ready and willing to win the next encounter with a bad guy.
    +1 to that.

    Grady, I feel your pain. My wife passively accepts my guns but doesn't really see the need to carry all the time.

    That only makes our jobs harder. I doesn't diminish our duties as provider and protector of our families.

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    A well written piece there Grady. My wife is a fighter by nature, fists will be flying if she doesn't have a gun in her hand. And even at 100 pounds dripping wet, I'd be scared of her in a full on assault.

    We actually/accidently went shooting on our second date. Went to a friend of hers house in the country near Houston and he pulls out his new Ruger 10.5 inch Super Blackhawk in 44 mag and we go outside to pop a few rounds. Out comes my "date" who proceeds to shoot three bullseyes one handed at 20 yards. I was immediately in love and have been married for over 25 years to this woman. She fully understands the preditors of this world and their total lack of compassion, but she still refuses to get a CHL.

    So I am the family bodyguard along with our three 65 pound dogs. They are in the house at most all times and will immediately attack any unknown who even comes to the door much less inside the door. It may just be me, but having multiple dogs capable of inflicting serious bodily damage is one of the best deterents, and best first lines of defense, any family can have. And the unconditional love is just a little extra icing on the cake.
    SE Texas Patriot Guard Rider, NRA Patron, TSRA Life Member

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    Great editorial Grady

    I have ignored that small voice inside my head in the past, and I always regretted it later.
    me too, and fortunately it was never a life/death situation; now as a LEO I ALWAYS listen to that voice and act on it-getting someone out of car, drawing on someone, changing tactics, etc

    Call me paranoid, call me stupid... it doesn't mean a hill of beans to me. It is my destiny to be prepared for that one life-changing moment, due in at a time unknown to me.

    May God grant me an undiminished focus, unfailing equipment, and shots guided to their intended targets... and the protection of my family.

    No do-overs. Gotta get it right the first time.

    It's going to be loud. Real loud.

    Crouching nude on the bathroom floor beside my wife, waiting for some scum to determine whether we live or die?

    Screw that--it ain't happening.
    AMEN brother, AMEN
    LEO/CHL
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    If loose gun laws are good for criminals why do criminals support gun control?

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    VIP Member Array Rob72's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grady View Post
    attempts to find healing, meaning, and closure for the event.
    No sympathy. He's already dead, his body just hasn't caught up yet.

    911 is who you call when the problem is resolved.

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    Member Array ChiWeiSz's Avatar
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    I agree. Good writing. My wife is very passive about my carrying - thinks I'm not trusting in God for protection. Anyway, my 16 year old son also thinks it's strange - that I'm just paranoid. My 20 year old daughter is cool with it - but she won't get something for herself.

    Guess they just trust too much - and I don't trust enough. LOL

    I guess I'd rather be a little paranoid and not need it, then to be condition "white" and wish I wasn't.

    Insult to injury - the wife doesn't even want a dog!!
    Trying to leave as large a carbon footprint as possible.
    Shivering in the "heat"
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    Great writing Grady! My wife of 12 (almost) years is definately NOT in condition white, but is reluctantly somewhat accepting of me carrying. I can't understand it. Yes, we live in a town, county, and state where I feel safe, but that isn't enough. I bet most people who've had a home invasion felt pretty safe as well.

    I have a plan for my home simillar to yours, NO retreat for me. My wife and three young children WILL be protected, or I will die trying. The threat will get no closer to my family because I will not allow it!

    I also do not feel sympathy for the man in the story, he had that gut feeling and did NOTHING about it. You can't blame the situation on him.......but, the outcome was his making. (Other than the fact they lived)
    "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiWeiSz View Post
    I agree. Good writing. My wife is very passive about my carrying - thinks I'm not trusting in God for protection.
    Insult to injury - the wife doesn't even want a dog!!
    you need to get this book for your wife:
    CHRISTIAN WARRIOR BOOK by Gabriel Suarez - SIS-CW-BOOK
    I'm a Christian, like a bunch of other gun owners and self-defense proponents, but trusting in God for protection isn't the issue, its trusting in the abilities and mindset that God has given us. Trust in God sure, but just because you do doesn't mean you should not stand up to violence and threats against your family or other innocents. He doesn't want us to just lay down and die when threatened.
    sorry, I'll get off my rant
    LEO/CHL
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    Independence is declared; it must be maintained. Sam Houston-3/2/1836
    If loose gun laws are good for criminals why do criminals support gun control?

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    Quote Originally Posted by TravisABQ View Post
    Grady, you did not mention whether the author of that book gained the slightest bit of awareness from that incident.
    Did he move? Did he install an alarm system? Did he buy weapons and start training?

    I'm suspecting that he did none of those things, and he is still working on his "closure".

    IMO, nothing gives closure like being ready and willing to win the next encounter with a bad guy.
    Great write up...and, I had the same question...is he now a liberal with experience and a bit wiser...did he learn from his experiences?
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    VIP Member Array Tom G's Avatar
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    A gun in the hands of the victims would have put a screeching halt to this home invasion. this guy and his wife were extremely lucky. I wonder if he owns a gun now? Things could have turned out a lot worse.

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    Great write-up Grady.

    I learned a long time ago: THERE IS NO SAFE PLACE!

    Safety varies by degree, and some places are more safe than others, but none are 100% "safe".

    Biker

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    That Guy would have been unarmed even if he had a .50 machine gun he had already made the decision to be a sheep.As others have said the only weapon you have is behind your eyes and between your ears everything else is just a tool.The BG had no apparent weapon yet the guy and his wife submit to his every whim.

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