Tense moment in Walmart today

This is a discussion on Tense moment in Walmart today within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; great reactions, i'm seeing simular things in my neck of the woods. We must be aware and S.A. Never be unprepared....

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Thread: Tense moment in Walmart today

  1. #31
    VIP Member Array bsnow's Avatar
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    great reactions, i'm seeing simular things in my neck of the woods. We must be aware and S.A. Never be unprepared.

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  3. #32
    Distinguished Member Array Paymeister's Avatar
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    OK, I'm going against the grain of most of the comments here... so maybe there's something I need to hear.

    What would be wrong with an honest and sincere apology to the fellow, along the lines of,

    "Yeah, I did cut you off just now, and I owe you an apology. I sure didn't mean to be disrespectful, and I'm really sorry it came across that way."

    After all, if that's how I honestly feel, and it might calm the fellow down, is it a bad thing?

    Thoughts?
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  4. #33
    Senior Member Array highvoltage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paymeister View Post
    OK, I'm going against the grain of most of the comments here... so maybe there's something I need to hear.

    What would be wrong with an honest and sincere apology to the fellow, along the lines of,

    "Yeah, I did cut you off just now, and I owe you an apology. I sure didn't mean to be disrespectful, and I'm really sorry it came across that way."

    After all, if that's how I honestly feel, and it might calm the fellow down, is it a bad thing?

    Thoughts?
    Really? All that? He said excuse me, in polite society that should be enough. Unfortunately he wasn't dealing with polite society. He was dealing a with small minded, small statured person with a limited vocabulary. Based on that I don't he would have understood your comment.

  5. #34
    Member Array MWatson35's Avatar
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    To answer Paymeitster. First, thank you for your comment. My "excuse me" was sincere. I really cut the guy off. I didn't mean too. Maybe he didn't hear me. Maybe he did. I'm not sure. Honestly (I'm profiling here) I'm not sure it would have mattered. Looking to learn here. I appreciate the advice.

  6. #35
    Distinguished Member Array Paymeister's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highvoltage View Post
    Really? All that? He said excuse me, in polite society that should be enough. Unfortunately he wasn't dealing with polite society. He was dealing a with small minded, small statured person with a limited vocabulary. Based on that I don't he would have understood your comment.
    Quite possibly he wouldn't have understood. I used to teach in a bad town just outside Los Angeles and I got along fine with the riff-raff, but I can certainly imagine a true failure to communicate (or a true 'bad one' trying to pick a fight).

    I guess what I was expressing was a willingness to suck it up and apologize handsomely BECAUSE of a failure to communicate earlier: if he wasn't convinced by the earlier "excuse me" regardless of how sincere it was, maybe he needed more. If his ego needed verbal groveling from me, why not let him have what he wants? Heck, I was the one who cut him off!

    There's a difference between these two statements from a service rep:
    "I'm sorry you feel that way"
    and

    "Gosh, if *I* had gone through what you did, I would be upset, too. I'm really sorry our company put you through that!"

    I just don't see the problem with a more involved apology if the first one didn't work*:
    • I'm still in Condition Orange,
    • I still know where the guy is,
    • I'm watching him for abrupt movements, and
    • I'm doing my darndest to de-escalate the situation and 'retreat' from the conflict (and walking away while ignoring him would seem to escalate the conflict).

    *note that I've been married for 21 years and have a certain amount of practice with this, which we don't need to talk about.
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  7. #36
    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    He was probably having a bad day and you were someone he could take some of it out on.

    You did the best thing.

  8. #37
    VIP Member Array Tom G's Avatar
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    Some people are rude and crude and cannot seem to control them selves.Let the thug fret all he wants. It's a stupid thing to fight over.

  9. #38
    Distinguished Member Array PastorPack's Avatar
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    I think you done good. Just ignore his trash talking and keep your eye on him.
    God is love (1 John 4:8)

  10. #39
    Member Array wolfshead's Avatar
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    wow...this seems close to the Escalade incident I had a week ago!

    You did good by not losing your cool. It is tough not to get mad. However, its worth it in the end.
    Vince K
    Aerospace Designer, Freemason, NRA member

  11. #40
    Member Array Patriot911's Avatar
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    I think your response was enough. A simple excuse me should have been enough for a shopping cart. Had you run over his toes with a pick up truck, then a little more of the "Gosh, I'm really sorry" stuff would have been called for.

    If his reaction to a sincere excuse me was that bad, I doubt you could have improved the situation without severly compromising yourself.

    You did the right thing by removing yourself from the threat environment and staying alert.

    "We sleep safely in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm."

    U. S. Navy, Retired
    NRA Life Endowment Member
    Firearms Instructor

  12. #41
    Senior Member Array kellyII's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paymeister View Post
    OK, I'm going against the grain of most of the comments here... so maybe there's something I need to hear.

    What would be wrong with an honest and sincere apology to the fellow, along the lines of,

    "Yeah, I did cut you off just now, and I owe you an apology. I sure didn't mean to be disrespectful, and I'm really sorry it came across that way."

    After all, if that's how I honestly feel, and it might calm the fellow down, is it a bad thing?

    Thoughts?
    That may sound great, but real life, no it wouldn't have made him feel any better.

    This guy was just being a hard azz and was trying to pull your chain. There are people out there that dont care if your right, wrong or even if you appologize. They just want to make trouble. And you didnt let it go to the next level.

    GOOD JOB...

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