First Time Process Serving.. and it's an ex-felon family member

[ccw9mm]

This might actually work out to be a good opportunity to change my anti wife, though. As I said previously, she's very, very anti. Has no idea I even have the gun. She's even said, "If you brought home a gun, you'd be sleeping at your parents.'"

She's willing to put the marriage up against your willingness to protect against crime, particularly when you've got relations like this idiot felon?

When I told her I told my sister I wouldn't serve the papers but instead pay for them to be served ...

Good first step. Being the one to do it is going to put you front and center, all of you, to a fireworks display by the felon when his anger gets cranked up to a whole new level. This way, with an anonymous "Bob" doing the serving, he won't have much to fight against ... except his ex-wife and only peripherally anyone associated with her.

Her: "Good.. he's scary.. We'll need to make sure we have all our doors locked."

Locks don't stop anyone really desiring to get through a door. Which begs the question about what a person is going to do when an armed felon has gotten through that door, two seconds later. What then, if one isn't armed? She desperately needs to appreciate that little wrinkle, there.

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[Rugergirl]

I was thinking the SAME thing. Which I'm ALWAYS on medium alert, honestly. I'm the guy in the neighborhood who scans my windows, knows when something is out of the ordinary, and isn't afraid to keep an eye on what the teens/kids are doing when they're walking the streets at 2a. But this is a whole new beast. He does know where I live, so I'd definitely have to keep an eye out.

The really bad part is I'm living with an anti. ...and anti who doesn't know I have a gun or CCW permit. I want so badly to tell her, show her, and train her on how to use it. And I want to get a house gun for her to rely on if I'm not there and I'm carrying mine. This situation worries me that, if I'm not there, she and my kids won't be protected.

..oh, and he's a rather large, boisterous Italian man. Not exactly a shrimp.

..and my sister just texted and said yesterday he threatened suicide. This isn't good.

Time for your sister to stock the medicine cabinet(extra sleeping pills) and take a vacation out of town for the weekend.
If that doesn't work, hire a process server to pay him a visit next week.
Might save on divorce costs if money is an issue for your sister.

[Hot Wing]

+1 on having an officer escort you.

Does he know where you live? You may have to keep your SA on medium-alert for a while.

+2 Be Safe

[gilraen]

Lock the door? You have got to have a serious heart-to-heart. I know, she may not listen.

Tell her, in other words, what cc9mm just said: "She's willing to put the marriage up against your willingness to protect against crime, particularly when you've got relations like this idiot felon?"

Then ask her if her life insurance is paid up.

[9MMare]

Any other things I should think about or consider? What would you do? .

Srsly?

Does your sister have a home defense weapon? If so, is she trained to use it? Can she get a CC permit? (dont know how long it takes in MO) Is she open to learning how to defend herself? Can she spend some time and $ to strengthen security at her home, once he's out (if he's not already)? Can she discuss this with her employer so that they can be on the lookout for him?

Seems to me, if you think you need to worry about him, she certainly might. An abusive man is a cowardly man. He might pass on you and focus his anger on her.

[silo]

She's willing to put the marriage up against your willingness to protect against crime, particularly when you've got relations like this idiot felon?

Insane, isn't it? I absolutely agree.

Locks don't stop anyone really desiring to get through a door. Which begs the question about what a person is going to do when an armed felon has gotten through that door, two seconds later. What then, if one isn't armed? She desperately needs to appreciate that little wrinkle, there.

Absolutely agreed. When we had this discussion before, I said, "What's your plan if someone invades our house tonight? Lock the door and hope he doesn't come upstairs? One of our kids is in another room.. what are you doing to do about him?" Her only answer was, "I don't want to have to explain to our 2 year old why there's a dead guy at the bottom of our stairs." To which I responded, "I do. That means we're alive." She's convinced our kids are going to be smart enough to somehow outsmart a safe. I don't get it.

Lock the door? You have got to have a serious heart-to-heart. I know, she may not listen.

Exactly. Plus, our doors are always locked. I make sure they are.

Does your sister have a home defense weapon? If so, is she trained to use it? Can she get a CC permit? (dont know how long it takes in MO) Is she open to learning how to defend herself? Can she spend some time and $ to strengthen security at her home, once he's out (if he's not already)? Can she discuss this with her employer so that they can be on the lookout for him?

I wouldn't even trust my sister with one. I'm sure she could get it and use it, but she's an ex-druggie who falls into the same trashy decisions as the rest of my mom's family. Like marrying an ex-felon.

I literally knew in the first five minutes that he was shady and would have a record. She refused to believe it, though, and married him. Ridiculous.

[paramedic70002]

He on parole? Tip his PO to the gun.

[silo]

Good question. I sent in a tip via the appropriate PD's Web site. I don't know if he has one or not.. I do know he was on parole for awhile, but I don't know if or when that ended. I figure the PD will deal with it here on out, and I told them I'd be happy to provide them with any more information they might need.

[SIXTO]

Tips on websites wont get you anywhere. Those come in by the hundreds and rarely are anything that can be verified on enforced. Go in person.

I'd also like to point out there is no such thing as an ex felon. A felon is a felon to the day he dies.

[silo]

This is a pretty small-town department.. I doubt more than 75% of the people even have computers, nonetheless go to the PD Web site. Anyway, if they choose to ignore it, that's their problem, at this point.

[rottkeeper]

It is totally worth the process server fee to not put yourself in the situation of being assaulted or having to use physical force. A convicted felon with a gun has shown he has not learned respect for the law.

Serving the papers yourself can only serve to make a bad situation worse.

[BikerRN]

I'd also like to point out there is no such thing as an ex felon. A felon is a felon to the day he dies.

[MoResident]

Here is a list of process servers located in Missouri. When your lawyer didn't request a server when he/she filed, you will have to either do it yourself or hire one of these. The advantage of not requesting a server when filing means you get to shop around instead of paying a higher fee for the default server your local judicial system uses.
Process Servers in Missouri

BTW, prior to Missouri allowing CCW's, process servers were about the only civilians allowed to conceal carry.

[nutz4utwo]

I'd also like to point out there is no such thing as an ex felon. A felon is a felon to the day he dies.

Not that it is really on topic, but if someone is granted a pardon by the appropriate executive leader (governor or president) wouldn't they be an ex-felon?

[sportkcjc]

I've process served in PA for years now, hire someone, don't do it yourself. It's not personal when a professional does it, he or she is prepared and they will probably catch the individual off gaurd. Also it's not like most of the individuals aren't expecting it, it's more of a game of dodging it. I would imagine it would become personal to him if his brother in law showed up at the front door. Be safe!