Friends do not understand my CCing.

This is a discussion on Friends do not understand my CCing. within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Originally Posted by GM You might be right, and I really thought about what you say. Maybe it had been better if I had lied; ...

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Thread: Friends do not understand my CCing.

  1. #46
    Member Array twocan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GM View Post
    You might be right, and I really thought about what you say. Maybe it had been better if I had lied; but I could not. Perhaps I was naive, but I could not lie to them when they asked me why I did not want to go in. We were not my in car, and for that reason I would never leave my gun inside it without permission of the owner. Yes, I perhaps am naive, but I do not like lies; even less when talking about friends. I believe in “do not do to other people what you do not like other people do to you”.



    The strange is that they are not anti; one of them is considering to perhaps get pepper spray. However, she believes that if she gets a gun she will most probably shoot herself. When they said that accidents happen I asked them if they were afraid that my gun should jump out of the holster and start to shoot people by itself; they were not afraid of that. They are afraid that if I carry a firearm it will incite a gunfight and that it could be fired by accident while carrying; according to them carrying is totally unnecessary. I told them that I could explain the CC laws, safety rules, and how guns work, and after that we could go to the range. They accepted talking about the safety rules and the law, but they did not want to touch a gun or that I should do it unless we were at the range, because it could be fired by mistake and then kill the neighbor; they wanted me to explain how a gun work using a diagram. I would never take to a public range two persons that do not have a clue about how a gun works.




    I did not know about it until she parked the car


    This entire situation is so sad and strange at the same time. I really feel very bad because of it.
    GM:

    You may not be in as bad a situation as you think.

    One of your friends has considered pepper spray, and both have dicussed their fears with you AND are willing to let you explain how guns work to them.

    You have it made!

    Schedule a time with them and prepare well to answer all of their questions. AFTER you open the class by describing the "machine" that you carry for self defense of yourself AND your friends. Explain how you hope never to need it (like life insurance, etc.) but want to be well trained on how to safely use it in the unusual cirumstance that you might need it to stay alive.

    If one of them is mechanically inclined or uses a machine in her day to day life, (or better yet, she is able to make small repairs or adjustments to keep it working) ask her if the machine is able to do things on its own.

    Stay away from emotional terms like firearm, gun, murder, kill,etc.

    If you can, purchase an Airsoft pistol (about $20) like the one you carry prior to class, and only use it as a demonstration aid once they are comfortable.

    Engage their brains and not their hearts, and you migt be surprsed.

    Best of luck,

    Capt. Art

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  3. #47
    Distinguished Member Array skysoldier29's Avatar
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    Guns don't kill people, thugs and untrained idiots who use guns do. I had a ex who hated that I carried, all she did was get mad when we talked guns. I tried to get her to goto the range with me a few times, with no luck. She changed her toon really fast when I went to pick her up from a bar in Ybor City in Tampa and a thug pulled a knife on us. I was a Reserve Deputy Sheriff at the time, I reached for my pistol and IDed myself as a cop, and the guy ran off. That sunday we were at the range, and she was learning how to shoot. I wish I didn't have to carry, but when the world becomes more friendly I'll stop carrying.

  4. #48
    GM [OP]
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    Thank you all of you for your posts; I have gotten many good ideas from all of you, and I hope to get even more. I have to recognize that it is difficult for me to be totally objective concerning the situation. I really care about my friends and I know that they care about me; I also understand why they think in the way they do, but at the same time I consider that unconsciously they are being a little egoistic. I hope that any of you will need to experience something like this.


    Quote Originally Posted by Martin View Post
    I think I know why as well

    If we're wrong, tell them you'll go gun-less if they go topless!

    Or maybe they just prefer the "gentle"man.


    I would tell them you won't carry again, then carry anyway. This time keep it concealed.
    I want to apologize for my ignorance, because I am not sure that I understand what you mean with your post. Could you please be more specific?
    "The Second Amendment: America's Original Homeland Security"

  5. #49
    Distinguished Member Array mr.stuart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Luttrel View Post
    If they are not family, dump them; life is too short to go through it trying to please everyone that doesn't count anyway.
    Good advice. In addition even family can be dumped. We live long enough, some of us realize that true friends are very rare.

  6. #50
    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Martin View Post
    I think I know why as well

    If we're wrong, tell them you'll go gun-less if they go topless!
    Sounds like a deal to me. Tell them that clothing really makes you uncomfortable. Man, I should have thought of that!!!
    Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
    No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.


    Guns are like sex and air...its no big deal until YOU can't get any.

  7. #51
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    Tough situation. Friends are important. But, them insisting you not be in a position to protect them means they want you to put yourself in a position where you can't protect yourself. If that is their final position (hopefully after some discussion of the situation with them) then I guess you need to consider dropping them from the "friend list". Also, these folks aside, you really need to get rock solid on your carry laws.

  8. #52
    Senior Member Array puncho's Avatar
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    Take them to a gun range and teach them how to shoot. Once they realize that the gun won't go off accidentally, they will no longer fear your gun or the fact that you carry a gun.

  9. #53
    Senior Member Array C Bennett's Avatar
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    nope, I do what I do if others dont like it I dont hang out/around with them. and most of my friends either dont care, support it or at least understand..if they dont..tough luck. Which means I am not gonna quit doing stuff with the other friends and they can just deal with it as long as everything is good with everyone else...

  10. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by chiefjason View Post
    Good grief, is carrying a gun really top secret? It blows my mind that folks are so worried about other people finding out.
    It's your life man, there's no pressure to live mine. The reason I favor discretion is because firearms are unpopular. When my boss discovered I had a cpl, she searched through my lunch box, all the while pretending it was just some funny *haha* joke. I still don't get it, but I'm sure it really was funny.

    Why did the chicken cross the road? ***pause to build anticipation*** To search your lunchbox for dangerous weapons.

    Given that 99% of Americans (this is an actual made up statistic) are sheep, the best way to scare the herd is with, "I've got a gun."
    Crime should be outlawed.

  11. #55
    Distinguished Member Array GWRedDragon's Avatar
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    In the past I have also encountered similar situations. My response has always been to just say I wasn't interested, wasn't feeling well, was getting tired, or something similar.

    I almost always insist on driving myself when I go places, too. This way I can either leave the gun in the car, or decide to leave whenever (this goes for non-gun-related reasons as well, everyone has felt uncomfortable some time or other and in those cases it is often best to be able to just leave). I feel that always having my own vehicle keeps me in charge of the situation.

    So in the future, I suggest:
    -always drive, either separately or taking others in your vehicle (if you are in a city you could instead just be willing to get a cab)
    -be willing to make an excuse to get out of a situation you want to avoid

    Making a polite excuse to leave isn't really 'lying'; it's just choosing not to share everything when doing so is not necessary.
    "Trust in God with hand on sword" -Inscription on my family's coat of arms from medieval England
    ---Carry options: G26/MTAC, PF9/MiniTuck, PPK/Pocket, USP40/OWB---
    ---NOTE: I am not an expert. If I ever start acting like a know-it-all, please call me on it immediately. ---

  12. #56
    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by narcberry View Post
    It's your life man, there's no pressure to live mine. The reason I favor discretion is because firearms are unpopular. When my boss discovered I had a cpl, she searched through my lunch box, all the while pretending it was just some funny *haha* joke. I still don't get it, but I'm sure it really was funny.

    Why did the chicken cross the road? ***pause to build anticipation*** To search your lunchbox for dangerous weapons.

    Given that 99% of Americans (this is an actual made up statistic) are sheep, the best way to scare the herd is with, "I've got a gun."
    74.6% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
    Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
    No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.


    Guns are like sex and air...its no big deal until YOU can't get any.

  13. #57
    VIP Member Array jwhite75's Avatar
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    First off...here is the test. DO NOT call them... cut all ties NOW. If they call you and try to talk to you about the situation, then they are friends and willing to reason and work things out. If not, then you will be breaking clean. When and if they call first, tell them you are not willing to give up a constitutional right for their friendship, and if they expect you too, then they are not the ladies you thought they are. If they dont call then you know how much they truly care. If they do call then try to work it out and compromise through education. Only way it can be done.
    Friends don't let friends be MALL NINJAS.


    I am just as nice as anyone lets me be and can be just as mean as anyone makes me. - Quoted from Terryger, New member to our forum.

  14. #58
    Member Array liljake82's Avatar
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    GM, I havn't read all of the posts here, and I'm just a faceless name on the internet so you are by no means required to read this. I only ask because I've been there (not with CCW issues) so I'm going to address the 800lb gorilla in the corner. Are you their friend, or are they your friends? I've been that guy that buys drinks, movie tickets, and meals, holds doors and purses, and runs off the guys that the FM doesn't want to talk to. In short, I've been used and kicked to the curb when my friend found a B/F or whatever. If you are truely their friend then they should respect you exercising your right. After all, you don't complain that they vote right? If you are all truely friends, I would recomend what many here have already said, but talk to them and/or take them shooting one at a time. If they're together durring these discussions they may not be as open and be worried about the other may think. I would bring up how many times you have CC'd when you were with them and nothing has happened. If all else fails remember, friends come and go. There are very few life long friends in this world. It's a shame, but it is true. I hope everything works out, and I'm not trying to flame you or anything.
    Either you are a weapon and your gun is a tool or your gun is a weapon and you are the tool.
    ----- FMD

  15. #59
    Ex Member Array Will B. Droopy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by narcberry View Post

    Given that 99% of Americans (this is an actual made up statistic)...
    That's a good one NarcBerry!

  16. #60
    GM [OP]
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    Quote Originally Posted by liljake82 View Post
    GM, I havn't read all of the posts here, and I'm just a faceless name on the internet so you are by no means required to read this. I only ask because I've been there (not with CCW issues) so I'm going to address the 800lb gorilla in the corner. Are you their friend, or are they your friends? I've been that guy that buys drinks, movie tickets, and meals, holds doors and purses, and runs off the guys that the FM doesn't want to talk to. In short, I've been used and kicked to the curb when my friend found a B/F or whatever. If you are truely their friend then they should respect you exercising your right. After all, you don't complain that they vote right? If you are all truely friends, I would recomend what many here have already said, but talk to them and/or take them shooting one at a time. If they're together durring these discussions they may not be as open and be worried about the other may think. I would bring up how many times you have CC'd when you were with them and nothing has happened. If all else fails remember, friends come and go. There are very few life long friends in this world. It's a shame, but it is true. I hope everything works out, and I'm not trying to flame you or anything.
    I know what you are talking about. No, it is not in that way. I am not the guy that buys drinks or drive them around. We all three are professionals, and they strongly dislike individuals that take advance of other people in the way you refer to. We just enjoy being together and we have many things in common. Although we use to spend time together, I had never told them that I carry, and that might be one of the reason because they reacted in that way. I do not know; perhaps it was good that all this happened. Actually, being afraid that they should discover that I was carrying a firearm was a little uncomfortable.


    You guys gave me many good ideas, and three of them are:
    - Give them time.
    - I should drive my own cars so I could leave my firearm in the safe if necessary.
    - Buying an airsoft pistol to explain them how a pistol function. I am sure that they will enjoy shooting one of them; and when they are use to it I can learn them to handle a firearm. I really do not want to take them to a public range if they do not know the basics.
    "The Second Amendment: America's Original Homeland Security"

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