This is a discussion on Friends do not understand my CCing. within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; E-mail your friends this link... Dr. Suzanne Gratia-Hupp as she testified before congress. Maybe from another woman's perspective they may just listen. It's along shot ...
E-mail your friends this link...
Dr. Suzanne Gratia-Hupp as she testified before congress. Maybe from another woman's perspective they may just listen. It's along shot but it's a very powerful and emotional video to watch.
Last edited by GM; March 16th, 2010 at 06:07 PM.
"The Second Amendment: America's Original Homeland Security"
Call it what you will, but there's a "glass jaw argument" the ladies are throwing at you... it may look strong but given the circumstances, it will not withstand scrutiny.
Ask them what their plan is when someone gets belligerent in the night club... or when they are approached at a gas station...
or when they're loading their groceries in their vehicle and they see the same van drive by 3 times and they're not looking for a parking spot...
or whatever situation you can think of that is run into every day...
Is their plan to seek help? From whom?
If they say seek help, ask them how many times they have passed someone by that might have needed help but they pretended not to notice...
Explain to them that the first thing taught in CCW/CWP/CPL or whatever it's called in your state class is: Avoid if possible... extract yourself from the situation and DO NOT ESCALATE!
Then ask them how far away the nearest police officer is... pretend to call 911 then wait 2 or 3 minutes or even longer and show them how long it truly is...
It sounds like they are suffering from an irrational fear or firearms... fearful that touching one will cause it to go off and "kill a neighbor"...
Point and counter-point their argument with valid points and reasons to carry... use everyday situations they will understand.
If after this they still don't understand, then carry anyway and wish them well living their lives oblivious to how society is becoming more dangerous.
"The Second Amendment: America's Original Homeland Security"
I disagree with those who have made snap judgements about how your friends don't respect you. Clearly, from the follow-up conversation, they DO respect you, enough to learn more about a subject they fear. I think that says a lot about the positive nature of your friendship, and their respect for you, once they got over their initial response from feelings.
My wife grew up in Berkeley, California, in the 1960's. When we started out, she was very anti-gun. I began by having her look at Oleg Volk's site, Make a choice, and we discussed the issues (and her arguments) that came up. I followed up by showing her news articles from local news and from the articles compiled on Keep and Bear Arms - Gun Owners Home Page - 2nd Amendment Supporters. In retrospect, it was important for her to read and hear about positive outcomes from people carrying. She started having doubts about her position. She enjoyed target archery, and I got her to go to the range. She shot a pistol and a couple of revolvers, and discovered that she likes revolvers better than semi-autos, and that she enjoyed target shooting.
One night, my wife reached what turned out to be her crisis point on the matter. We had a very honest conversation. She said two things that have been seared into my memory.
"It isn't that I hate you carrying; but, I hate that you think it's necessary and it scares me."
"I wanted my bedroom to be a place I feel completely safe, and if you think we need a gun in the nightstand, then it isn't."
My wife didn't want to think about the BG's, either. Later, she admitted that I'd made some good points she needed to think about. A few months passed. One evening, she walked in to the family room, and quietly announced that, when we had some money to spare, she wanted me to help her pick out a revolver.
It has taken patience, persistence, mutual respect, and love. You clearly have respect and love for your friends. Be patient and persistent. Don't compromise yourself for their regard.
My wife does not even bat an eye when i carry, but her father is former law enforcement.
You may not like guns. You may choose not to own one. That is your right.
You might not believe in God. That is your choice.
However, if someone breaks into your home at 3AM the first two things you are going to do are:
1) Call someone with a gun.
2)Pray they get there in time." - A wise man
If they will not listen and be OK with you carrying, you will have to decide which is more important to you.
I say you need new friends. If trouble breaks out you will be left alone. While screeming women are running away.
Keep your powder dry
+1 John...women are like city buses, but true friends are rare. These two belong in the first category and apparently never were in the second.If they are not family, dump them; life is too short to go through it trying to please everyone that doesn't count anyway.
(John, any kin to Mark?)
It pays to win...pay attention
This is me. This is who I am. Learn to live with it or move on.
Your carrying was fine. And you handled the situation well, as ridiculous as it is to be forced into divulging what shouldn't have to be anybody else's business. It's one more example of how the permissions process effectively harms upstanding people in a myriad of ways.
Of course you're the same person as before. Except for the fact that you're now "one of them," a "gun" person, and God knows what you're gonna do with that thing.
Oh, my ... you're a Presbyterian, Libertarian, Fruit Eating, Motorcycle Riding, Mountain Hiking, Beach Combing, Literature Indulging, inveterate human being? OMG! Gee, and all this time I never knew. Things will never be the same between us, now that I know. You're obviously not who I thought you were. And that's your fault, Bob. You caused this rift. And you're gonna have to change, because of it, else I don't want to have anything to do with you ... blah, blah, blah.
"True" friends recognize that you're still good, upstanding. That you haven't changed. That you are, in fact, the same person as you were 60 seconds earlier. Just as honorable. Just as compassionate. Just as prepared to defend your life and your loved ones from having everything taken in a moment of needless violence perpetrated for no reason whatsoever. It's just that now the person understands you actually are prepared to do that, and the person utterly fails to appreciate how ultimately loving and caring that is: that you would risk laying down your life in the defense of those you love, if need be, and you won't allow their lives to be taken without a fight. That's a good thing, by any standard.
Friends who aren't really friends feel that they don't need an education on the topic. Friends that can't get past it aren't who you thought they were. Not everyone is destined to be your friend. Such is life.
Yes, I have had a couple acquaintances drop off the deep end, once they realized I didn't think all firearms should be melted down and recast as medical equipment for the poor. No, they wouldn't attempt to discuss or understand a perspective that altered their view of the topic. I wasn't prepared to lose a friend over carrying of firearms. Apparently, each of them were. Such is life. (Though, nobody has found out I carry and then blown a gasket. The mere idea I considered defending life a good thing with ... with ... firearms, was anathema. Didn't even need to know I carried, which undoubtedly would have caused burst blood vessels all over the place.)My CCing ruined a beautiful day, and I am afraid that this will be the end of our friendship. Did any of you have a similar problem? If you did, what did you do about it?
What can be done? You either cease doing the activity, or you help the person change his/her understanding in the hope that ignorance can be banished. However, one of the great lessons in this life is: ignorance is often like a warm blanket, to some, and it cannot always be eliminated.