Wife bought a Taurus PT111 9mm and she shoots it very well, but it was to large for her to CC on body or in purse.
I bought a Kel Tec P3AT for a BUG for me.
We went to range and wife shoot a box of ammo through P3AT and looked at me and said "mine".
I bought another P3AT for me, and she carries that little powerful gun everywhere it is legal to carry.
By the way she runs and shoots the gun very well.
As to caliber, I believe there is a difference between a duty caliber for LEO and what a CCer may need on a daily bases.
As a CCer my wife is not out there fighting crime, she is protecting herself from BGs that may assault her or her love one's.
It may take time for you to come the right answer for your carry needs.