How do you handle family and friends that don't like you carry?

This is a discussion on How do you handle family and friends that don't like you carry? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Originally Posted by AlexHassin You can find a case of almost anything out there. Personally if a person does not want it there, on their ...

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Thread: How do you handle family and friends that don't like you carry?

  1. #136
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlexHassin View Post
    You can find a case of almost anything out there. Personally if a person does not want it there, on their property and you don’t feel like respecting that, why are you friends with them? Honestly I do not advocate asking everyone if it is ok to bring a firearm in, but if they state at some point that they do not want a gun in the house I would not bring one. I am shore that they would appreciate the same curtsy if you were on their property and did not want some activity taking place.
    See that's the thing... If someone asked me not to bring a gun into their house, I wouldn't. Actually I probably wouldn't go to their house.

    However, no one has ever asked me not to bring a gun to their home. And, no one has even asked if I was carrying a gun when I come over. Now that's a whole lot of houses I've been to in the last 6 years.

    Someone tell me why I should be compelled to announce to everyone I'm carrying a gun when I come over to their home.

    I'm not compelled to tell anyone else. I'm not compelled to tell every business I enter. By State law I'm not compelled to tell anyone except for a LEO who asks me directly.
    -Bark'n
    Semper Fi


    "The gun is the great equalizer... For it is the gun, that allows the meek to repel the monsters; Whom are bigger, stronger and without conscience, prey on those who without one, would surely perish."

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  3. #137
    Member Array UnklFungus's Avatar
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    My MIL thinks it's okay for me to carry around my house, because of predators, but she doesn't see the need for me to carry in town, because there are no predators there. Umm, read a paper lately?
    “The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.”

    Patrick Henry
    Quote Originally Posted by UnklFungus
    If it is ok to disarm legal citizens to reduce crime, then doesn't it stand to disband the military to prevent war?

  4. #138
    Senior Member Array gwhall57's Avatar
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    I don't tell them; I just carry concealed and keep it concealed. If they don't know, they can't try to "convince" me that I am in the wrong when I carry.
    "Bad spellers of the world - untie!"

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  5. #139
    Senior Member Array Snowman23's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Majorlk View Post
    I lived in Federal Hill (Light Street, two blocks from The Harbor) for 14 years. My wife was mugged opening our door one evening as she returned from church (it was still daylight). A neighbor and I chased the perp down the street and the neighbor nailed him across the knees with a baseball bat. The officer who responded (14 minutes after the call) was going to charge the neighbor with ADW, until the responding Sgt. told him not to. Legal SD in Baltimore is a near impossibility.
    HoustonRaven and Majorlk, I couldn't agree with you more. I used to live in No. VA., but my wife went to UMBC. I can tell you I never felt safe visiting her there. She worked at a restaurant in the Harbor at the time and would walk to her car in dark parking garages late at night...made me very nervous.

    I had some friends that currently live in that area visit us here in UT this winter. I mentioned a "shooting buddy" and the wife's eyes BUGGED out. The following conversation regarding guns lasted all of 3 minutes...mostly her telling me that NOBODY should own a gun and it's the reason for these types of crimes. Majorlk, your wife's experience is exactly what I'm talkin about! My "friend"s" were adamant that a home invasion would never ever happen to them or in their neighborhood. I did not push the topic, just like i would not further a debate with close family.

  6. #140
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    Quote Originally Posted by Snowman23 View Post
    My "friend"s" were adamant that a home invasion would never ever happen to them or in their neighborhood. I did not push the topic, just like i would not further a debate with close family.
    So many people think Prepared = Paranoid. I had a conversation with my close sister about this - her ex is a retired LEO. Once she even called me over to check out a bum who was sleeping in the basement of her apartment building, where the washing machines were. Yet I cannot get her to acknowledge: 1) Someone could attack her, in the "safety" of her home 2) She needs more than the telephone to defend herself. I think because she was around cops for so many years, she bought the "Only cops can possibly be well-trained enough to handle guns," line.

    What's the line from "Gone with the Wind?" Something like, "Well, I'll just think about that tomorrow."
    "Be justified. Blood may be easily wiped from the sword.
    It cannot, however, be put back from where it came." --Quicksabre

  7. #141
    Distinguished Member Array SpringerXD's Avatar
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    I'm a widower, but still close to my wife's family. I love them, but they're some serious Obama-voting liberals who believe that only the police should be armed. My former father-in-law (Army vet, believe it or not) has gotten quite heated at me in these conversations, so I basically avoid them if I can. He has also made some pretty snide remarks about CCL holders.

    About a year ago, we somehow got on the topic of allowing carry in the Great Smoky Mountains National park. I told him that I fully support this idea. He got snippy and said, "Great. So now somebody can shoot a bear after they picked at it and made it come at them? NO!!!"

    My response was along the lines of, "Okay, so let's suppose that a young couple with a baby are having a picnic by a creek and they really couldn't care less about the wildlife. Let's say that a bear comes out of the creek bank and gets aggressive for reasons known only to the bear. Should they die to be in compliance with an arbitrary law? Better yet, let's say that some thugs come along, it's in the middle of nowhere, and they decide to "sample" the wife. What's the husband going to do? There are four of them and only one of him. The thugs also might not want him or the baby alive to identify them."

    I'll paraphrase his answer:

    "My mind is made up. Don't confuse me with facts."
    "I practice the ancient art of Klik Pao."

    -miklcolt45

  8. #142
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpringerXD View Post
    I'll paraphrase his answer:

    "My mind is made up. Don't confuse me with facts."
    It doesn't usually work, but I try to get them to think of it in personal terms: "So what's your plan if someone tries to rape your wife?" Then be ready to answer the usual, "call the police" or "Dial 911" answer.

    My favorite answer is "Well, the job of the police is to draw a chalk line around your body and then try to catch the killer. According to the SC they have no duty to protect individual citizens."

    Still, as you noted, it's like trying to convince someone their religion is wrong. It's just not going to happen.
    "Be justified. Blood may be easily wiped from the sword.
    It cannot, however, be put back from where it came." --Quicksabre

  9. #143
    Member Array 09Bowtech's Avatar
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    I believe it is an issue of nobody has to know or find out. I took the class with my next door neighbor and shortly after we both got our permits he asked in front of some of the other neighbors if I was carrying, I just laughed and shook my head in disbelief. We talked about it later and I told him that having my gun on me is my business and I don't want everyone to know about it. Granted the neighbors we were standing there with are all scheduled for their CC class this month but still I am not going to ask them after if they are carrying, none of my business.

  10. #144
    Ex Member Array Deanimator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quicksabre View Post
    My favorite answer is "Well, the job of the police is to draw a chalk line around your body and then try to catch the killer. According to the SC they have no duty to protect individual citizens."
    I like:

    • Police have no legal duty to protect individuals.
    • Police have no legal liability when they fail to protect individuals.
    • Police have virtually no physical ability to protect individuals.


    Protect yourself or don't get protected AT ALL.

    I used that at Christmas dinner a couple of years ago. It was like telling Mia Farrow that Woody was a little closer to Soon Yi than she'd thought. Reality is always a shock to the naive.

  11. #145
    Senior Member Array Snowman23's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quicksabre View Post
    Still, as you noted, it's like trying to convince someone their religion is wrong. It's just not going to happen.
    I couldn't agree with that more.

  12. #146
    Ex Member Array hamlet's Avatar
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    Someone tell me why I should be compelled to announce to everyone I'm carrying a gun when I come over to their home.
    No one is "compelled" to announce to friends when you visit them in their home that you're carrying. But because some people are not comfortable around guns, quite a few, I ask first. I also recognize that gun accidents exist. So, I am exposing them to a slight risk of something that would be deadly in their homes. Of course I ask.

    But because I do not like to keep secret from my friends something that would make them uncomfortable in their own home is enough. It's a question of respecting the feelings of those I am close to and being open with them, especially when I am a guest in their living space. And keeping secret what might well make them uneasy, is not my way.

    As to whether they "should" feel uncomfortable, who am I to know what others "should" feel. The point is they don't. Besides, they don't know that I handle guns safely, they don't know enough about them - or me when I'm shooting or handling them - to know that.

  13. #147
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    Quote Originally Posted by hamlet View Post
    I ask first. Because I do not like to keep secret from my friends something that would make them uncomfortable in their own home. It's a question of respecting the feelings of those I am close to, especially when I am a guest in their living space.

    As to whether they "should" feel uncomfortable, who am I to know what others "should" feel. The point is they don't. Besides, they don't know that I handle guns safely, they don't know enough about them - or me when I'm shooting or handling them - to know that. If I don't know someone and do know they have a gun on, I'm wary too.
    I totally disagree with this. In my opinion this has nothing to do with friendship. It is just opening a can of worms not to mention if they decide to start telling others that you wanted to bring a gun in their house. Concealed means concealed and as long as you keep it that way they don't need to know. If you have to use it to protect them they will love you for it. This is exactly the reasoning behind a permit to carry concealed.

  14. #148
    Ex Member Array hamlet's Avatar
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    I totally disagree with this. In my opinion this has nothing to do with friendship. It is just opening a can of worms not to mention if they decide to start telling others that you wanted to bring a gun in their house.
    My friends don't tell my business to others. In any case, most of my close friends are aware that I carry so it's not a secret to begin with so my situation is somewhat different than yours. And in the long view, if you are comfortable with your way and I am comfortable with mine, there's no problem.

    (Concealed Carry has to do with the "public" and the visibility of the gun - "Carry" - not with regulations of what you say to individuals of your choice. It's not "Concealed Information".)

  15. #149
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    I guess we agree to disagree.. :)

    In any case, stay safe my brother.

  16. #150
    Ex Member Array hamlet's Avatar
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    I guess we agree to disagree.. :)

    In any case, stay safe my brother.
    Thanks and You Too.

    Best
    ----------------------------------------------------
    PS for all: This is why I like this forum and the whole site: for the most part when people express differing views they are not enemies after 3 posts, with everyone involved in bile and hatred after 6 posts. I used to go to one of those, ugly, ugly, ugly. People generally respect each other here.

    Enough hatred out on the streets, who needs it in our livingrooms.

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