How do you handle family and friends that don't like you carry? - Page 7

How do you handle family and friends that don't like you carry?

This is a discussion on How do you handle family and friends that don't like you carry? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I say "meh...I apologize you don't like me carrying", leave it at that and continue doing what you feel is comfortable, and your right. Rant: ...

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Thread: How do you handle family and friends that don't like you carry?

  1. #91
    Senior Member Array Frogbones's Avatar
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    I say "meh...I apologize you don't like me carrying", leave it at that and continue doing what you feel is comfortable, and your right.

    Rant: I'm so darn tired of people expecting others to yield to them when they don't like something.


  2. #92
    VIP Member Array friesepferd's Avatar
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    oh ya. my mom cried over the phone the first time i told her i was going to the range at my school and doing a bit of target shooting with 22s.
    she ran out of the house screaming and didnt come back for an hour or two when she found out i had bought a gun (and that it was with me, unloaded in a locked case)
    i wasnt there when she found out i got my permit (my dad opened my mail while i was gone -.-). but my dad said she nearly fainted.
    now im sure my mom still isnt 'for' guns, but i have now actually taken her out shooting once or twice. she sends me pro gun articles via email, etc. asks me if i have been shooting lately all the time and says good for me.
    Im guessing she is just trying to be nice and still doesnt like them, but its a huge step. it takes a while for ppl to get over the initial shock, and they will probably never quite get it, but things will improve. Just hang in there and try and help them understand that you are the same person. that you are not a wako. hang in there and keep at it.
    Wo die Notwehr aufhört, fängt der Mord an
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  3. #93
    Member Array DukeShooter's Avatar
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    I am really lucky based on some of the posts herein.

    My wife knows I applied for a concealed carry permit and that I will carry everywhere I legally can. She is all in favor of it and also the 12ga Riot Gun loaded with buckshot we keep by the bed in our master suite.

    My son is not anti-gun he just questions the need for self defense which he has picked up from his liberal anti-gun friends.

    My daughter understands and supports me in regard to concealed carry. The reason: We were the victims of a Home Invasion by two big thugs while my daughter was in the house! I pulled up in time to scare off the bad guys (I was armed with a Big Rock in my hand or as we say "open carry of a rock") My daughter ran our of our front door to me when I pulled up in my car, she was screaming "WE ARE BEING ROBBED". I sent her to the neighbors and I grabbed my Big Rock to protect her from the Bad Guys who were in the driveway loading our stuff into their truck! They saw me and were not at all intimidated by my Big Rock, they hopped into their truck and flew down my long driveway narrowly missing me as I jumped aside. I was so pissed that I ran out into the street and fired my Big Rock so hard at them that I fell down on my behind. Naturally I only got a partial plate number, the cops responded quickly (about 5 minutes) and had a couple of units running down the highway in the direction they fled. No luck in catching them though. One of the officers commented on my choice of weapons (My Big Rock) suggesting it may have not been a good choice for home defense. He said that I needed to get a CCP and a handgun because my OCR (Open Carry Rock) didn't work in defending my home, Myself and most importantly my Daughter. He did get a kick out of me telling him about my "firing" on the escaping Bad Guys with my Big Rock! Needless to say my Daughter was and still is traumatized by the incident! She won't be at home alone any more even for me to run to the grocery store down the street for a couple of minutes.

    I bought Kubotans for the family and showed them how to use them (I am a karate green belt). My wife is going to get her permit and wants a 9mm Glock like my 357 Sig model 33.

    Mike,
    Peace Out!
    Armed Citizen, NRA Member, Hunter and all around 2nd Amendment Guy.

  4. #94
    Senior Member Array Gun Bunny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HoustonRaven View Post
    Hey now, we're not all bad. My friends back in Baltimore and I often go shooting and they all wish CC was legal in MD.

    In fact, if there was ever a town that needed CC it's Baltimore. The entire west side of the city is basically in the hands of the drug trade and citizens there have to rely upon an over worked, under staffed police department for their protection.

    If there was ever a wish I wanted fulfilled that was 2A related, it would be the NRA doing what they did in the 60's -- go into the inner cities and form gun clubs with the residents.
    Oh I know, I lived in Glen Burnie for 10 years, anti-gun vs pro-gun out-number about 8-2! A lot of times if I talked about guns around most people there, it was like talking about child porn or something!!!
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  5. #95
    VIP Member Array Majorlk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HoustonRaven View Post
    In fact, if there was ever a town that needed CC it's Baltimore. The entire west side of the city is basically in the hands of the drug trade and citizens there have to rely upon an over worked, under staffed police department for their protection.
    I lived in Federal Hill (Light Street, two blocks from The Harbor) for 14 years. My wife was mugged opening our door one evening as she returned from church (it was still daylight). A neighbor and I chased the perp down the street and the neighbor nailed him across the knees with a baseball bat. The officer who responded (14 minutes after the call) was going to charge the neighbor with ADW, until the responding Sgt. told him not to. Legal SD in Baltimore is a near impossibility.
    An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life. - Robert A. Heinlein

  6. #96
    VIP Member Array TedBeau's Avatar
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    without reading all the replies, I will add the standard that has been suggested many times in simular threads:

    Ask them, "do you have car insurance? Are you planning on wrecking your car today?

    Do you have a smoke alarm at home? Why are you expecting a fire to break out today at your house?

    Do you wear a seat belt? Why?

    Do you plan on being robbed today? The odds are about as great or greater, depending on where you live.

  7. #97
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    I'd treat these conversations (read: arguments) the same way I treat conversations about religion with atheists or agnostics:

    "If you genuinely want to know why I do what I do I will be more than happy to tell you all about it so long as you promise to keep an open mind/heart about what I have to say. However, what I won't do is sit here and listen to you castigate me for what I choose to do with my life. I have not tried to force my beliefs/interests on you and I expect the same courtesy."

    This is served me well. I work in an environment where many of my colleagues are über liberal, anti-christian and anti-gun. I wear a cross around my neck. I had to develop an effective way of stopping their attacks otherwise I'd lose my mind.
    Proud Lady Blue Dog

  8. #98
    Member Array DZcarry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by friesepferd View Post
    oh ya. my mom cried over the phone the first time i told her i was going to the range at my school and doing a bit of target shooting with 22s.
    she ran out of the house screaming and didnt come back for an hour or two when she found out i had bought a gun (and that it was with me, unloaded in a locked case)
    i wasnt there when she found out i got my permit (my dad opened my mail while i was gone -.-). but my dad said she nearly fainted.
    My mother had a similar reaction, but I totally understand why. My grandfather was murdered point blank with a gun and she has developed a phobia of guns. I just try not to talk about guns around her and I don't bring them around her either.
    Proud Lady Blue Dog

  9. #99
    VIP Member Array jonconsiglio's Avatar
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    What the question should be - "How does your family handle the fact that you don't like that they don't carry?" Just kidding.

    Reality is, the only ones that should know are my most immediate family. It's at my discretion if my friends and non-immediate family members know, but I don't hide it like an illegitimate child from a mistress. Fortunately, even my family in Los Angeles is just fine with the idea. If not, I explain that I was car-jacked and kidnapped, robbed blind and almost taken to the woods and killed. The reason I wasn't is because after an hour of being in the trunk, I decided it was time to fight and I DON'T want it happening again. if that doesn't work , then we agree to disagree.

    Concealed means concealed and so on..... You know the responses. Personally, I do not really care who knows or how they feel about it, but I will respect their wishes if I should be in their home and they know about it. Just like I don't care what they think about the money I spend on cars, clothes, my kids clothes and toys, vacations, furniture, etc.

    If someone should have something to say about it, big deal. I explain my reasons non-chalantly and they will either agree, disagree or not care either way. It's not a BIG SECRET and it most definitely does not make anyone different. Now, if someone should have some terrible fear of me carrying and it's someone I care about, I guess I would leave it in the car.

    Do you know how many women I "left in the car" when stopping by family members homes when I was younger!? If it's someone or something I don't think they'd like in their home, I don't take it in! It is not the end of the world. There seems to be this belief that we are so much different than those that don't carry.

    "Keep it a secret" "If they don't like it, too bad" I won't have friends like that or visit those family members" "If they're too much of an idiot to care about their own safety I don't want to know them in the first place"

    Come on! It's a stinkin gun. It's something we choose to do. It IS NOT something that should alienate us, alienate our friends and family or make us different. It's just one more tool that we have to keep us alive another day should things go south.

    Sometimes I just don't understand the separation that some of us seem to believe in and the attitudes we have towards those that don't carry! "Well, if they choose to NOT protect themselves, then that's what they get!" What the heck??

    Sorry for the rant, I just see a lot of things here that I guess I don't understand. Now, I do live in Texas, have been carrying since I became of legal age, been shooting 1911's since age 12, shoot competition and go to at least three or four out-of-state classes a and I am willing to help anyone who really wants to learn about living a safer life. What I am not is someone who thinks less of someone because they don't carry. Just like I don't think less of someone because they drive a cheaper car or wear cheaper clothes.

    And, I MOST DEFINITELY DO NOT think less of someone that is a beginner or not as experienced as I am. I see way to much of this here, especially from a select few. One guy recently on this forum said it best when he said something to this effect - "It's funny how people always put down the guy not as good as them, but they never mention the guy that's better." That about sums it up!

    I tried to stay on topic, sorry about that!
    Proven combat techniques may not be flashy and may require a bit more physical effort on the part of the shooter. Further, they may not win competition matches, but they will help ensure your survival in a shooting or gunfight on the street. ~Paul Howe

  10. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by maddyfish View Post
    Well I come from a good family and it would not be a problem. IF I TOLD THEM. Which I don't, and you shouldn't have.

    If I were in your situaiton, and I wouldn't be, I would tell them that I quit carrying. Then I would carry anyway, and carry well concealed.
    And around children is exactly the right place to carry, since they are incapable of defending themselves. Adults should be responsible for their own safety.
    Okay, let me get this straight. You come from a good family so if YOU carry, you must be bad right? Not only that but you lie too?
    I agree with you about carrying around little kids. They won't usually give you any trouble. You can dry fire right in front of them. I mean, what are they going to do?
    If you understand, things are just as they are... If you do not understand, things are just as they are....
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  11. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by n3ss View Post
    coming from someone whose had a knife held to their throat and had their sister attacked (raped) at gun point in the same neighborhood they work in i'd say it can happen to me. my argument is that i'm willing to go 30 minutes without a out of a respect for someone i grew up with. :)
    Then that works for you.....

    That does not mean it will be agreeable to someone else. Agree to disagree and move on...because I don't think you're going to change anyone's mind, but everyone's input may be of value to someone else.
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  12. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikeroesch View Post
    My son is not anti-gun he just questions the need for self defense which he has picked up from his liberal anti-gun friends.
    Suggestion: get him into your martial arts style ASAP. There's nothing like regularly getting your behind kicked by older/smaller/smarter/more devious people (i.e., black belts ) to convince one of the "need for self-defense."

    He did get a kick out of me telling him about my "firing" on the escaping Bad Guys with my Big Rock!
    Your Big Rock story had me ROFLOL!

    Needless to say my Daughter was and still is traumatized by the incident! She won't be at home alone any more even for me to run to the grocery store down the street for a couple of minutes.
    She needs to be in the karate class too, even more so than your son...

    I bought Kubotans for the family and showed them how to use them
    Good! But with respect, some quick training on a kubotan won't do much good in a real self-defense situation. They're more likely to forget what you taught them, unless they practice it daily, like thousands of times for each technique, until it becomes a reflex.

    (I am a karate green belt).
    Good also! Keep training! In our style, green belt is 6th gup (= kyu in Japanese styles) which is less than half way to black belt. 1st degree black belt itself is a good start, but your formal training should not end there; honestly it's really just starting there. Make sure it's a lifelong thing...

    BTW don't forget to put your $0.02 in on the martial arts thread...

    My wife is going to get her permit and wants a 9mm Glock like my 357 Sig model 33.
    Awesome! Having your wife "on board" makes for a happy marriage and eases your mind about their safety when you're not at home. My wife is slowly coming around to concealed carry, she definitely doesn't oppose it - the only thing stopping her now is the money...I've been laid off since April '09

    On the plus side she has always been very "self-defense conscious" - the thing that really brought us together (lo these many years ago) was martial arts training. We are both 3rd degree black belts in an eclectic (read: Americanized) Tae Kwon Do style, and testing for our 4th degree in July of this year. We teach a martial arts class in a suburb of Detroit, and love it. Almost every black belt in our "association" is a concealed carry permit holder, including our 8th degree black belt Grandmaster. The martial arts and firearms mix very well indeed![/QUOTE]

    Mike,
    Peace Out!
    Armed Citizen, NRA Member, Hunter and all around 2nd Amendment Guy.
    Welcome brother!
    "Be justified. Blood may be easily wiped from the sword.
    It cannot, however, be put back from where it came." --Quicksabre

  13. #103
    Distinguished Member Array ErnieNWillis's Avatar
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    I tell them that if it truly bothers them that I respect their right to their opinion. If they are uncomfortable around me while I am carrying please do not come over or invite me to their homes.

  14. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by SIGP250 View Post
    Okay, let me get this straight. You come from a good family so if YOU carry, you must be bad right? Not only that but you lie too?
    I agree with you about carrying around little kids. They won't usually give you any trouble. You can dry fire right in front of them. I mean, what are they going to do?
    I'm glad you mentioned that SIGP250 -

    My Father was a high ranking DA in Los Angeles County before going to criminal defense. He's been involved in some very high profile cases and in politics. My Mother worked for a very large firm as well, and had a very nice income. Now, good and wealthy are two different things!! My family had a lot of money and were/are well known. Not sure where everything was on the "good" side though...

    This has NOTHING to do with having a CHL and has NOTHING to do with their opinion on it. I've actually found that many of my wealthier friends that came from GREAT families, not just good ones, carry and have family that carry. My Father came from a better family than me (I shouldn't say that) and he carried for many years, especially as a DA.

    Good or bad, rich or poor has nothing to do with the opinions on carrying. I hate when that's brought up as well. I do alright for myself. I'm 30 years old, married and have two great kids. I'm friends with doctors, lawyers, restaurant and bar owners, mechanics and a handful of beach bums as well, people from broken homes and people from wealthy, stable homes, African-Americans, Italian-Americans (I am as well), Indian-Americans, American-Indians, Jewish-Americans, and even a Hispanic-American. Guess what!? They're all the same. A number of them carry and a number don't. Both "camps" are fine with the other "camps" decisions of those that know each other.

    We are all the same, people! None of this makes us different, so why the heck would carrying make us different. Why do we feel we need to be so defensive of our decisions. If we're defensive about ours, do we think they won't be defensive about their decisions. Who ultimately is right?? It's like war. Both sides are praying to God that they don't die. We say "God is on our side" and so do they. Who's right?? He can't be on both sides can he?

    There's no right or wrong here. Let's just do the right thing for us and let them do the right thing for them.
    Proven combat techniques may not be flashy and may require a bit more physical effort on the part of the shooter. Further, they may not win competition matches, but they will help ensure your survival in a shooting or gunfight on the street. ~Paul Howe

  15. #105
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    I would not tell them but if they did find out and gave me grief I would just tell them to kiss off.

    I have had it up to here with the anti's logic. They have no clue.

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