How to deal with your own children?
This is a discussion on How to deal with your own children? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Hello,
This question is what do you do and/or tell your own kids that daddy (and soon hopefully mommy) do and can carry guns but ...
May 9th, 2010 12:02 AM
How to deal with your own children?
This question is what do you do and/or tell your own kids that daddy (and soon hopefully mommy) do and can carry guns but we aren't police officers.
I ask becuase my sons are right around 4 and 6 1/2 years old. Up until now, they never have noticed. I am doing all I can to make sure that they don't know. My fear is that once they do know that they will do one of the following:
1.) Cop pulls me over for a legit traffic stop. Hears kid from back seat that "daddy has a gun"...bad situation
2.) Somehow ended up in a bad situation with the family, bad guys try and take charge, kid says "daddy has a gun" this can be taken on down into more subgroups 3 and 4 and probably others
3) continuing on with 2, I am carrying but now they are searching us, bad situation
4.) continuing on with 2, we are near many federal lands and do go into DC to the museums (free ones) and the bad guy now either thinks I am a cop since no one other than cops or his thug friends would carry a gun in DC so I am unarmed. They grab the boy that said this and then it is a bad situation...
Anyone else have to deal with this? I do what I can but I just can forsee a bad situation...
May 9th, 2010 12:05 AM
Before you bash me as a bad parent, please try and get 3-7 year old boys to always listen to you. If you can do that, please write a book and I will buy it. You can bash but believe me, I have had those screaming kids on the airplane. Now, I do feel for the parents. There really is nothing, most of the time, that they can do.
May 9th, 2010 12:30 AM
My kids are taught from very early on that there are some things you just don't talk about with people outside our immediate family. Guns, Money health issues etc. Thats the way I was taught and thats the way I've taught mine.
"Just blame Sixto"
I reserve the right to make fun, point and laugh etc.
May 9th, 2010 01:38 AM
I don't make an issue out of it, ie telling them not to talk about it. And it's a normal part of their life now, so they have not talked about it yet. My girls are 5 and 8. And I don't really worry about what might happen if they say something either. But that's just me. I CC and OC around my kids, so they definitely know.
I have told them that there are bad people in the world that might try to hurt them, and that is why I carry a gun and why we have them in the house. Then I taught them not to touch a gun without mommy or daddy's permission and if they ever find a gun to tell an adult. And I offer to show them the firearms any time they would like to see them. I also show them any new guns we bring in the house.
Issue 1 is a non issue, it's legal. I personally don't care who knows that I legally carry a firearm. But that's me. YMMV and that's cool. Issue 2, they may find out before the kids get a chance to say anything, why else would you carry it. Issue 3, they ARE finding out at that point! Issue 4, I never lost anything in DC that I need to go get. And anywhere I can't carry a firearm I generally have some other defensive weapon with me. Not trying to sound all toughguy. But if the situation is already going south I am looking for an opportunity to do something if it presents itself. I don't like to let my future be determined by the BG and what they want to do.
I prefer to live dangerously free than safely caged!
"Our houses are protected by the good Lord and a gun. And you might meet 'em both if you show up here not welcome son." Josh Thompson "Way Out Here"
May 9th, 2010 02:43 AM
Same for my kids...7, 13.....I've been carrying for 16 years...never a problem
Originally Posted by SIXTO
- know the differencemartyr
is a fancy name for crappy fighterYou have never lived until you have almost died. For those that have fought for it, life has a special flavor the protected will never know
May 9th, 2010 04:46 AM
To second (third? fourth?) the others...
Normalcy Enabling Behavior.
Walk around the house with an OWB holster and a loaded firearm (cleared with the Wife first, or take your life into your own hands...) and simply explain the truth. Kids get truth, and they respect someone who doesn't condescend, lie, or sugar-coat.
They can tell when they're being led-on. They don't have a lifetime of experience to make them second guess themselves yet.
Tell them about LEO's, BG's, and everything in between. Come prepared for questions, and have a few of your own. You are about to involve your kids in a major aspect of your family's private life, and involvement/engagement will let them know that you mean it when you say, "Welcome to reality".
They have great capacity for understanding if you just let them, and they will trust you if you trust them.
Obviously, this step will necessitate some rules, but it may also offer some incentives ("Some day, if you show me that you can handle it, we'll go shooting").
Go slow and good luck!
That which does not kill us leaves us broken and bleeding...
Don’t mess with the guy who can barely stand up. His remaining options for self-defense don't include your survival.Convenire Volui Spectatus
May 9th, 2010 06:42 AM
If you make a "big deal" out of having,carrying,shooting, forbidding, not talking about, a gun, then so will the children. If you don't make it a mystery, or a forbidden item, the kids won't perceive it as anything special to blab about. That's been our experience with our sons......
NRA Life Member ... Marine Corps League Life Member
Freedom has a flavor the protected can never taste...
USMC 8652, 2531, RVN Jun '67, - May 69Some of my toys....
May 9th, 2010 07:09 AM
I really don’t know how to answer your question, because it was never an issue in our family. All of my children are adults now.
I know that I gun-proofed all of them. Firearms were part of our life. At that time, I was heavily involved in practical shooting and we traveled a lot all around the country and the world for competitions.
The children helped me with cleaning the guns and in reloading. It’s really a heart-warming sight to watch a 7-year old to take a 1911 apart, clean it up and reassemble the race gun, knowing every part and inspecting then like a pro.
I took them to shoot regularly and the rest just happened. All of them joined the military, so … I really don’t know.
We had strict rules in our family when it came to guns and safety, but other than that our life was relaxed and open. I do not know how to raise a child. They hardly ever comply with what you want them to do, or become that brain surgeon you wished for.
Regardless, they’re the best things in the world. Wait until they’re over 10 and quit listening to you totally :)
I don’t think you have a problem at all, just beautiful kids growing up.
Enjoy, they’ll grow up fast.
May 9th, 2010 07:41 AM
Originally Posted by SIXTO
You'll know when your kids are old enough to keep quiet on such things. Until then just don't discuss thing like that around them. I've got four of 'em (with one grand-daughter and another on the way).
I brought mine to the range with a carton of .22's and lots of ballons and water-bottles (fun stuff). When we 'graduated' to my handguns they were old enough to understand why to keep quiet. It was nobody's business but ours. All were taught safety and, as stated before, it was 'normal' behivior around our house for daddy to have his guns 'around'. No big deal. When your can comprehend the safety rules then thier ready to head to the range with you. Before too long, it'll be 'no big deal'. Removal of the 'taboo' aspect of guns (and carrying) is key.
May 9th, 2010 08:04 AM
I have a five y/o son and a seven y/o daughter. I taught (and reteach) them about firearm safety - I use Eddie Eagle. Beyond that, guns arent talked about. They don'y know I carry and so there's nothing to blab.
Keep it hidden and, if possible, stay away from bad places with your young-uns.
May 9th, 2010 10:51 AM
Quit trying to hide the fact that you carry from them, "sheltering" them from the fact does more harm than good.
Order the NRA "Eddie Eagle" program and have them watch it until they know the message it teaches. Let them see the gun and answer questions they have about it. Take the mystery out of guns and replace it with respect for them. If it were me, I would have been teaching them gun safety and had them to the range by now.
Freedom doesn't come free. It is bought and paid for by the lives and blood of our men and women in uniform.
NRA Life Member
May 9th, 2010 11:02 AM
Don't make it a taboo subject and it won't be. I have 4 kids (13, 10, 7, 4) who all know I carry, and all can shoot. Even the littlest one! They all know firearms and all know dad is armed at all times. However, because guns are not taboo they are not an issue. I've never worried about my kids telling everyone I have a wallet on me, or that I am wearing a watch; same principle holds with the firearm. Dad carries a gun, just like he wears sunglasses (it's Phoenix, after all...). No big deal.
When you make a deal out of stuff they will make a deal out of it. When you don't, they won't. Don't hide it though, because hidden stuff becomes taboo stuff and then invites curiosity and a desire to play with it. Teach them.
May 9th, 2010 02:05 PM
Originally Posted by SIXTO
"It's no secrete or anything, it's just not polite to talk about guns, money, health, etc. outside our family."
As they get older, you can go into more details.
Originally Posted by usmcj
My kids, grand-kids, great-grand-kids all learned as appropriate to their age at the time.
IMHO, not only is "making a big thing" a pitfall, explaining more than the child really asked is, too.
In general, I'm verbose. With kids I work hard at scaling it back -- way back.
I'm just one root in a grassroots organization. No one should assume that I speak for the VCDL.
I am neither an attorney-at-law nor I do play one on television or on the internet. No one should assumes my opinion is legal advice.
Veni, Vidi, Velcro
May 9th, 2010 03:08 PM
My son is 6. He knows I carry but I don't make a big deal out of it. I tell him that there are bad guys out there and we carry guns so the bad guys don't hurt us. I also tell him that we don't talk about guns with people outside of our house.
I followed the advice on corneredcat.com about familiarizing the boy with guns. We taught him the basic rules. He's fired Nerf, plastic pellet, BB, .22, 9mm, .40; he likes them all. If he wants to see a gun, we unload it and supervise him with it until he gets bored and gives it back (this takes longer with laser sights). He knows that he has to listen and follow the rules or we stop.
An enemy of liberty is no friend of mine. I do not owe respect to anyone who would enslave me by government force, nor is it wise for such a person to expect it. -- Isaiah Amberay
May 9th, 2010 04:58 PM
Ditto. Both of my children apply the same lesson to my grandchildren. We never had a problem with our children "spilling the beans" on any subject. For the most part, it's not a problem with the grandchildren.
Originally Posted by SIXTO
An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life. - Robert A. Heinlein
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