It takes a tragic event w/ a friend for my wife to come around.

It takes a tragic event w/ a friend for my wife to come around.

This is a discussion on It takes a tragic event w/ a friend for my wife to come around. within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; My wife has never had a problem with me carrying... even though she would give me the occasional "gub'ment gonna come take ya land" ribbing ...

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Thread: It takes a tragic event w/ a friend for my wife to come around.

  1. #1
    Member Array brobar's Avatar
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    It takes a tragic event w/ a friend for my wife to come around.

    My wife has never had a problem with me carrying... even though she would give me the occasional "gub'ment gonna come take ya land" ribbing here and there. She even went to the handgun safety course with me when we first moved out here to CO and has periodically gone to the range with me. She has never really planned on or thought she would be getting a CHP herself. We discussed it once or twice and she didn't feel like it was right for her so I didn't push the subject.

    Well last week we had a great friend of ours who was in our wedding who was moving from NYC to San Francisco and she was to be stopping by our place to crash for the night last Thursday. The few nights leading up to that Wed she had stayed at truck stops but decided to stay at a hotel in Lincoln, NE on Wed. After getting settled in her hotel she went to a local bar with a female friend that was traveling with her... they each had one drink and a bite to eat and then started making their way back to the hotel. They passed a guy who was talking on his cellphone and traveled one or two more blocks before hearing the guy they passed a couple of blocks back say "hey" from behind them. When they turned around the guy clotheslined our friend knocking her backwards where her head hit the ground first knocking her out. He lunged on top of her turning her over (face down). The friend traveling with her tried to jump the guy to get him off of our friend and then he punched her (her traveling companion) in the face before taking our friends wallet and running off. Our friend ended up in the hospital there in Lincoln... losing her long-term memory and having to have the back of her head closed up with staples. She was released after a couple of days and has been getting her longterm memory back very slowly. At first she couldn't remember more than 5 minutes prior. She didn't get to come into Denver to visit/stay the night because the doctor said altitude could cause bleeding in the brain again so she had to travel down south and over to CA to avoid the elevation.

    My wife was REALLY upset about this. I gave it a few days before bringing it up but while sitting on the couch I said "sweetie... I know it is difficult to think about and I know you haven't planned on doing so... but maybe you should think about what happened to your friend and give the whole CHP thing some more thought." Before I could even finish the sentence she interrupted me knowing where I was going and said "I've already thought about it and I want to get my permit now".

    It is very unfortunate what happened to our friend and I wouldn't wish it on anybody... but I guess if you can find a silver lining in that cloud... my wife is now finally coming around and will be applying for her permit soon. She even asked me "If I get a 'lil S&W .38 like you... can I get the Crimson Trace grips too?" =) That made me smile with pride!

    More good news is they caught the guy 2 days after the event. The local investigators had her friend traveling with her look through a photo book of suspects and she was able to pick him out of the photos. They knew exactly where to find the guy who had several priors and when they went to pick him up the idiot still had our friend's wallet on him! The local prosecutor came by to take statements from both of them before they left and will be in touch with them.

    Oh... and if you want some irony: our friend had lived in NYC for 8+ years (in Harlem and in Brooklyn) without one single incident the entire time she lived there. Now here she is traveling through middle-America on her way from one coast to the other and gets mugged and put in the hospital in Lincoln, NE!


  2. #2
    3D
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    Very unfortunate experience for your friend . .sorry to hear it. I congratulate your wife on her decision to 'defensive carry' a firearm so she can better protect herself . It's not the same middle-America it used to be (it's not the same on the edges either).

    Thank you for posting this. My wife gives me the "What kind of monster are you??" look every time I CC. I'm going to ask her to read your post. Bad things happen all the time to good and innocent people and I cannot be everywhere she is to protect her.
    "It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end"____Leonardo da Vinci 1452-1519

  3. #3
    Member Array Chainman's Avatar
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    That is a bad deal, glad to hear your wife has decided to carry though.
    It took my wifes business partner getting shot to convince her He survived but I think now all of the principals in her firm are carrying.

  4. #4
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    They say that many conservatives are former liberals with experience.
    It is sad to hear about your wife's friend, but in a way, it has worked out well for all concerned.
    Perhaps your wife's friend may also seek additional 'tools' for her defense, too?
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

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    Member Array Bandolero's Avatar
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    While it's good that she will be more "evil exists in the world minded", I am not sure there would have been much different of an outcome in this case.

    If she lived in NYC, she likely would not have had a pistol permit. Therefore it is quite unlikely she would have had a pistol. Much less been carrying one unlawfully in Nebraska. And of course, she was not heading to a place where she had a CCW permit or is CCW friendly.

    I just don't see how the events of that day would have been altered, as a practical matter, in her situation. This seems more like an awareness issue (to wit going out on foot to a local bar in a town she did not know the dynamics of).

  6. #6
    Member Array sentioch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brobar View Post
    When they turned around the guy clotheslined our friend knocking her backwards where her head hit the ground first knocking her out. He lunged on top of her turning her over (face down). The friend traveling with her tried to jump the guy to get him off of our friend and then he punched her (her traveling companion) in the face before taking our friends wallet and running off. Our friend ended up in the hospital there in Lincoln... losing her long-term memory and having to have the back of her head closed up with staples.
    That's a terribly sad story...losing your memories is probably the worst thing that can happen to you. I'd say it's worse than losing your legs. It's like someone just took your whole life and all your experiences and friendships and loves away like they never happened.

    It also sucks to realize that in this particular situation, it doesn't like like a handgun would have prevented her from being knocked down like that because it happened so fast.
    "In a world of compromise, some don't." -HK

  7. #7
    3D
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    . . . yes, it does appear that a carried gun in this event may not have changed the outcome. "It is impossible to change the past or the present - but I can tend to the causes of a better future". I've noticed for myself that just carrying the gun causes me to 'check my backtrail' a whole lot more often. If this event was moving enough to have brobar's wife reconsider the fundamental issue of responsibility for self-protection, I'll bet she begins the journey of developing Mindset along with her Toolset - including increasing situational awareness.

    Good luck - stay safe.
    "It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end"____Leonardo da Vinci 1452-1519

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    VIP Member Array SIGguy229's Avatar
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    Talk about a reality check....unfortunately, most of America believes a cop will be right there when bad things happen. While a firearm would not have prevented the initial attack, a properly employed weapon would have stopped the second attack...
    Magazine <> clip - know the difference

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    Member Array MikeFontenot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brobar View Post
    Oh... and if you want some irony: our friend had lived in NYC for 8+ years (in Harlem and in Brooklyn) without one single incident the entire time she lived there. Now here she is traveling through middle-America on her way from one coast to the other and gets mugged and put in the hospital in Lincoln, NE!
    I saw a little news item in the paper yesterday, saying that the woman who played Barney Fife's girlfriend on the Andy Griffith show, recently moved from LA to the small town in NC that was the model for Mayberry...she was concerned about the crime rate in LA...but she was mugged there in "Mayberry" recently. I guess sheriff Taylor isn't on duty there anymore.

    Mike Fontenot

  10. #10
    Senior Member Array ZX9RCAM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3D View Post
    . . . yes, it does appear that a carried gun in this event may not have changed the outcome. "It is impossible to change the past or the present - but I can tend to the causes of a better future". I've noticed for myself that just carrying the gun causes me to 'check my backtrail' a whole lot more often. If this event was moving enough to have brobar's wife reconsider the fundamental issue of responsibility for self-protection, I'll bet she begins the journey of developing Mindset along with her Toolset - including increasing situational awareness.

    Good luck - stay safe.
    Yes, unfortunately in this situation, the only thing it would have changed is that now the BG would have a gun he didn't have before...
    If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

    -Will Rogers

    Im a big fan of the .22LR for bear defense.
    Just shoot the guy next to you in the knee and run like heck.

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    Member Array Rivers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZX9RCAM View Post
    Yes, unfortunately in this situation, the only thing it would have changed is that now the BG would have a gun he didn't have before...
    Not necessarily. I know that when I'm carrying, my SA is also higher. I keep a better eye out for things that happen around me, and I'm more wary of potential threats. I'll do whatever I can to never have to even expose my gun, much less fire it. It's ironic that when I'm armed, I'm making the extra effort to not need it. The victim in that mugging might also have elevated her SA had she been carrying.

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    Senior Member Array ZX9RCAM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rivers View Post
    Not necessarily. I know that when I'm carrying, my SA is also higher. I keep a better eye out for things that happen around me, and I'm more wary of potential threats. I'll do whatever I can to never have to even expose my gun, much less fire it. It's ironic that when I'm armed, I'm making the extra effort to not need it. The victim in that mugging might also have elevated her SA had she been carrying.
    But, "in this situation" as I stated, he would have a gun....
    If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

    -Will Rogers

    Im a big fan of the .22LR for bear defense.
    Just shoot the guy next to you in the knee and run like heck.

  13. #13
    VIP Member Array Hiram25's Avatar
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    Hope the friend recovers. Happy for your wife's decision. I wish my wife would take the plunge, but she says that she's connected to me at the hip and we go about everywhere together.
    Hiram25
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    VIP Member Array zacii's Avatar
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    She's lucky. Sounds like she suffered a serious concussion. People can die from head injuries like that.

    Now get her some good training with that new pistol

    Oh, and you'll have to post the requisite pics of the gun!
    Trust in God and keep your powder dry

    "A heavily armed citizenry is not about overthrowing the government; it is about preventing the government from overthrowing liberty. A people stripped of their right of self defense is defenseless against their own government." -source

  15. #15
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    Fortunately for your wife, she did not have to experience this tragedy first hand, before becoming a convert. Perhaps when your friend recovers, your wife may encourage her as well.
    “Monsters are real and so are ghosts. They live inside of us, and sometimes they win.”
    ~ Stephen King

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