My application is in "The System" & wife's view
This is a discussion on My application is in "The System" & wife's view within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Monday morning I met my dad downtown at the county Clerk's office. We both had our photos, application, and check. Next stop, the sheriff's office ...
June 29th, 2010 07:06 PM
My application is in "The System" & wife's view
Monday morning I met my dad downtown at the county Clerk's office. We both had our photos, application, and check. Next stop, the sheriff's office for prints. Cheers! -we're officially in queue - and gladly so.
14yrs ago I met a girl who would become my wife. She was a treehugger raised without guns in the family, and both parents raised the same way. Shortly after we met, I told her one night at dinner of my plan to get a pistol. In addition to her asking why anything like that was needed in this world, she began to cry.
A few years later she would come to my family's house for Thanksgiving. Of course, the tradition was to go out in the back forty with the 12ga and a case of clay pigeons before dinner. She came along and quickly latched onto shooting. To her, it was a game - as it should be. Like darts or pool. The following years we did the same thing; often including things like shooting the muzzle-loader and the 30-30 Winchester.
Fast-forward 10 years and she now has a good understanding of my upbringing, what my dad taught me while growing up, his life on the farm, etc. This spring I took her dad to the range with my M&P 40c. He had a blast. Few weeks ago I took her to the range to shoot the same - and she was NOT a fan of the S&W. However, she did enjoy shooting the .22 and is a good shot at 50yd.
Point is - things started out rather bad. Over time her understanding of my style increased. Today she knows I have several guns locked in my safe. She is a good shooter, but says "I can take it or leave it". ...so I take this as she won't asking to go back any time soon. I'm teaching our young kids about gun safety. She knows.
She knows I have applied for my CPL, and says that she thinks I want to 'play cop'. That I wanna pretend I'm the new sheriff in town. <sigh> Well.....know what? I can take that. Because it certainly could be worse.
June 29th, 2010 07:35 PM
Start by reading her specific things out of your local newspaper about those who found their fate at the hand of a criminal intent on killing. The local news about home invasions, mall shootings, robberies, road rage shootings, police officers shot in the line of duty, etc.... Then go to the national level with the news or internet and show her the bad things that happen to innocent people every day, at any time, and anywhere. It's not propaganda......it's the plain and simple truth.
"Wanna play cop".
You know what I'd do with that notion in mind? Maybe I'd best stop here while giving some good advice.
I'm lucky. My wife and I see eye to eye on just about everything other than our political affiliation. Believe me......I'm working on that. You have your work cut out for you. Go about it in the right way, and it won't be difficult. After all, you're going to carry and be tactful in doing so. Start being tactful in your ways right at home. I just know comments like that are bringing you down and worrying you. You don't have to turn your wife into the shooter or the hunter, just shed some light on why you'd like to be together as long as possible, and you don't want anything cutting that time short for any reason. When you carry and you're out with your family, it's all for them. When you carry alone, it's all for you. Think about it all when you go to sleep tonight, and hopefully you'll have more ammunition in the morning. You'll know when to use it and how to apply it. My best to you in everything you seek.
June 29th, 2010 07:40 PM
Sounds fun...get some handcuffs.
Originally Posted by Jetplane19
Speak softly, and carry a big stick.
June 29th, 2010 08:06 PM
If you guys watch tv together, try watching a couple episodes of "I Survived". That helped my wife get over some of her phobias.
-- Luck favors the well prepared.
June 29th, 2010 08:16 PM
Mine's the same way....Now, her compromise is... I don't carry when I'm with her... I'm livin' with it.... I hope nothing ever happens when we DO go out together...
I've tried the logical arguments (just a tool, no different that a fire extinguisher etc.), I've tried the emotional ( I feel safer, I want you/us to be safe and alive, together forever), I've tried the factual (guy at worked got mugged walking home).... Nothing's working yet... She's put her foot down... I think just to be "right."
She may come around with time... But if the real world continues "moving on" much more (no (relatively) safe places to go)... We just won't be going out much...
Good luck... Mine is exactly the same as yours, ie: good shot, likes to shoot... My carrying is a "macho" "wannabe" thing... in her eyes.
She ain't gettin' it... That's the last thing on my mind.
June 29th, 2010 09:14 PM
My wife says she can't CC because she could never the gun out of her purse! I can't understand why, she carries just about everything else in it. Band-aids, make-up, cell phone, a complete pharmacy of meds that cover just about any ailment and box of tissues!
According to her, it's enough that I CC. But she does have her CC permit and will carry when it is convienent for her to do she. She never had a probelm with me CCing. Once I got my license, she decided to get hers. Her carry weapon, when she does carry is a CZ 75B. She won't carry small gun, or anything that has a ploymer frame.
She's a crack shot, with any weapon. Handguns, rifles, shotguns, shoes, a bar of soap, a wooden spoon...
She initially didn't see the need, but realizes the fact anything can happen at any time or in any place.
June 29th, 2010 11:08 PM
Listen to RamRod, he gave me excellent lady advice.
All Day I Dream About Sigs
June 29th, 2010 11:33 PM
Took me a long time to develop the wife's interest in SD, but I kept hitting her with crime reports. She also saw what is going on in the world, and in our 'area'. The last straw was an incident in a parking garage and she decided she wanted her CCW permit and a weapon. Now she doesn not carry a lot, but her SA is way up.
Keep working on her...
Proverbs 27:12 says: “The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.”
Certified Glock Armorer
NRA Life Member
June 30th, 2010 12:00 AM
The more I read these threads the more I realize how lucky I am. My wife went to the same AZ CCW class I did and carries religiously.
The only problem is that I can never buy ONE gun! I think I will quit complaining about that.
Do not stand between Me and Mine!!
June 30th, 2010 01:19 AM
I'm sure glad my wife doesn't dictate to me what I can and cannot do..........
It's not the destination, it's the journey.
June 30th, 2010 05:01 AM
I just got rid of her. It was easier. Afterall, 27 yrs of blah blah blah was too many. Then went out and bought another motorcycle and more guns. Never been happier.
IF .. there is ever another one, she better like small cars with convertible tops, traveling, motorcycles and shooting.
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. --- Will Rogers ---
Chief Justice John Roberts : "I don't see how you can read Heller and not take away from it the notion that the Second Amendment...was extremely important to the framers in their view of what liberty meant."
June 30th, 2010 09:51 AM
My girlfriend tried to give me the whole "you're not carrying when you're with me" speech. I told her to pack sand.
She eventually changed her views and now doesn't mind at all. I think what made her turn the corner was a combination of a few things.
The first thing was letting her get familiar with the gun. She had never really handled or fired handguns before, so I taught her the 4 basic safety rules, handed her the gun (unloaded of course), and showed her how it worked. I've found that this simple act really helps with people who are uncomfortable around firearms. I showed her all the things that made it mechanically impossible for the gun to go off on its own.
The second factor is a bit of a strange phenomenon. You know when your friend gets a new car, and then all the sudden you start seeing that make/model of car everywhere you go? They were always around, but now you're noticing them because your friend has one. We all hear stories of violence on the news, it has become so commonplace that a lot of us dont pay any attention, or separate these stories from reality. Ever since I began carrying, my girlfriend really started to notice these stories in the news, and consider how having a ccw might have helped.
Finally, as the old saying goes, "concealed means concealed". Just start carrying it around her, she doesn't need to know.
Also, this line helped me a bit: "I dont care if you're going to be mad at me for carrying a weapon around you. I want to be able to protect you, and if I get to choose between you just being mad at me for a night, or you being dead because I WASN'T carrying, I'll choose you being mad at me.
Good luck! (I hope this post makes sense... I haven't had my morning coffee yet )
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