Disappointed by my brother, he appears to be an anti

This is a discussion on Disappointed by my brother, he appears to be an anti within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; You bluntly spoke your beliefs to your brother: something I have trouble doing but admire those who can. You didn't call him a name or ...

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Thread: Disappointed by my brother, he appears to be an anti

  1. #16
    Member Array OngngFreedom's Avatar
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    You bluntly spoke your beliefs to your brother: something I have trouble doing but admire those who can. You didn't call him a name or insult him per se but instead told him what you thought of his actions while defending your own. You feel so strongly that you are willing to risk a relationship with his family.

    Perhaps he'll give it some thought. In the meantime, since you are apparently not welcome in his home maybe you could invite him into yours? It sounds like you are indifferent to the relationship but it is something to think about.

    I applaud the strength of your belief.

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  3. #17
    Distinguished Member Array Guardian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TN_Mike View Post
    No, I do not feel that my words were too harsh at all. And to be honest, I have not been close to my brother for 24 years. That was the last time I lived here. I went off to the Navy. Since then, we have actually seen each other maybe 10 times. Spoken a total of maybe 30 times. I am not that close to him and if I do not get close to him, it's really no skin off my nose at all. As a person, I do not really like him at this point. He doesn't come to my parents house to help them with anything, even if they ask for it. (they are in their late 60's with some health problems) But he is always going to his wife's parents place to help with stuff.
    I was going to say since you are not close anyways, it's not a big deal.

    I have other views then what is presented when it comes to family though, but since they don't apply, I don't have get into a blood is thicker then water debate over a physical object. Thanks goodness
    "I dislike death, however, there are some things I dislike more than death. Therefore, there are times when I will not avoid danger" Mencius"

  4. #18
    Member Array ncsteveh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TN_Mike View Post
    But he is always going to his wife's parents place to help with stuff.
    And there lies the problem, It's not him is her, she wears the pants in that house and he is afraid to stand up to her, he might not show it but he may be. I'll bet a dollar to a doorknob that she has a Ivy league education or is a teacher.
    Last edited by ncsteveh; July 5th, 2010 at 08:45 PM. Reason: to finish

  5. #19
    Member Array Shackleton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TN_Mike View Post
    No, I do not feel that my words were too harsh at all. And to be honest, I have not been close to my brother for 24 years. That was the last time I lived here. I went off to the Navy. Since then, we have actually seen each other maybe 10 times. Spoken a total of maybe 30 times. I am not that close to him and if I do not get close to him, it's really no skin off my nose at all. As a person, I do not really like him at this point. He doesn't come to my parents house to help them with anything, even if they ask for it. (they are in their late 60's with some health problems) But he is always going to his wife's parents place to help with stuff.
    I have to agree that your words were not harsh. You just stated the facts, and from what you said above, it seems like this is not a big loss.

    Family is family, sure, but he chose to make it about the gun and not family. In fact, it sounds like he is not very family oriented at all.

    Good work IMO.
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  6. #20
    VIP Member Array tkruf's Avatar
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    Sounds to me like your brother's wife wears the pants and has pushed her beliefs off on him. I come to this conclusion since your dad is not anti and you are not anti, your brother had to have been influenced by someone, i.e. his wife.

    ...p.s. now I read the post I missed by ncsteveh. He nailed it before I did.
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  7. #21
    Senior Member Array TomEgun's Avatar
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    Im in same boat with my in-laws but you have a much greater responsibilty to your wife and children as for my kids i let them make there own choice as far as there beliefs they have spent enough time around my Liberal in laws to choose GOD and Country and became Conservative best thing I could have done ...lol
    "If you want peace, prepare for war." Si vis pacem, para bellum.

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  8. #22
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    I wouldn't worry about it. Most anti's are converted after a crime...hope that doesn't happen, but it's pretty much the truth.

    Most of my family, and most of my wife's family are pretty anti-gun. No one has ever mentioned me having my firearm with me (they do know).

    Other than at school, if my presence is required without a SD weapon, then my presence is not needed.
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  9. #23
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    I hear you exactly. I've been trying to have any sort of relationship with my brother for the past 30 years. We've never gotten along and see opposites on everything (Yes, he's a flaming liberal, I'm much more conservative) He married a girl that is even worse. I married one much better. We see them once or twice a year. Thank God he doesn't have children.
    My advise, don't give up your convictions but try to steer the conversations elsewhere. If nothing else, so that you can at least finish dinner. When I converted my father into firearms world (taught him to shoot .22 pistol today) I really have to keep him from spouting off when my brother is around, he watches too much Fox news and tends to believe everything he hears.
    My brother tries to bait us, I don't fall for it.

    Sad part, I once taught him to shoot an SKS and together, we broke down an AR-15 and an AK-47 to compare the internal workings. Deep, deep down inside I think he'd enjoy the sport but his wife has beat any sense out of him and when she caught us that day, treated him worse than when he'd cheated on her.

    effed up.

    JIm

  10. #24
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    You can't choose family, but that also means you don't have to necessarily like them as a person either. It's not uncommon for family members to have such opposing views and beliefs. No amount of debate will change it...it will take a personal event. Since your Dad carries, perhaps you should have some discussion with him about the background of your brother's point of view. He may be able to shed some light on it (probably the influence of the wifey and in-laws). After hearing him dis on Dad, I probably wouldn't have mentioned my carrying...but then again, it would be hard to listen to without saying something too. Hard to tell until you're in the situation, and I'm lucky that my family and in-laws are all cool with it. I wish you the best of luck and hope it turns out ok. Sometimes, you just have to say, "so be it."
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  11. #25
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    I hate to put a damper on this but concealed means concealed. You just had a big tiff with a family member because you didn't keep your mouth shut. You might have been able to convert your brother over time but probably not now.
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  12. #26
    Ex Member Array Deanimator's Avatar
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    That doctor in Connecticut lived in a "nice neighborhood" too.

    He still got beaten half to death and his wife and daughters raped and burned to death.

    Apparently a lot of "nice neighborhoods" bought defective force fields that don't actually keep monsters out.

    If the brother is lucky, he'll learn without it costing him his life or those of his loved ones.

    My mother in Chicago had the same nonsense to say, except she didn't want me to carry HERE. I just told her that unless she was willing to follow me around, ready to throw herself between me and a violent assailant, she didn't get a vote. She's learned to accept that.

    Protecting yourself and your family trumps a brother's mindlessly parroted propaganda ever time. Consider that advice from a militantly pro-gun liberal.

  13. #27
    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
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    ATCTimmy, I do not care to convert him. After he made fun of my Dad for carrying, he can go spit.


    Quote Originally Posted by ncsteveh View Post
    And there lies the problem, It's not him is her, she wears the pants in that house and he is afraid to stand up to her, he might not show it but he may be. I'll bet a dollar to a doorknob that she has a Ivy league education or is a teacher.
    Wow, did you nail it. Ivy League educated she is and, she is the head of the Indiana University Finance Department.
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  14. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by atctimmy View Post
    I hate to put a damper on this but concealed means concealed. You just had a big tiff with a family member because you didn't keep your mouth shut. You might have been able to convert your brother over time but probably not now.
    "keep you mouth shut".... about your inalienable 2nd amendment constitutional right??? You kiddin' me? I have no intention of doing that, nor would I suggest anyone does that if you wanna keep your gun rights. Be it your priest, preacher, professor, parent, brother or state legislator.... where fightin' for a constitutional right here bro.

  15. #29
    Senior Member Array 1911PKR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TN_Mike View Post
    ATCTimmy, I do not care to convert him. After he made fun of my Dad for carrying, he can go spit.




    Wow, did you nail it. Ivy League educated she is and, she is the head of the Indiana University Finance Department.
    I figured so as well, par for the course. God help us! They educate and influence our "best and brightest" minds and many are making policy in the legislative branch. No wonder this country is where it at... rant....

    Hang in there Mike!

  16. #30
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    It is sad that you felt the need to display your gun to your brother when it was clear how he feels about them. It is also sad that you are allowing this to keep you from establishing a healthy relationship with him. As right as we may think we are on certain issues, we should start questioning when we become so intolerant of differences of opinion that we curtail or damage our relationships with family and friends.
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