Disappointed by my brother, he appears to be an anti - Page 4

Disappointed by my brother, he appears to be an anti

This is a discussion on Disappointed by my brother, he appears to be an anti within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Hi Mike, This is a good post!!! Thanks!! It is a shame this played out this way for you. A couple of things come to ...

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Thread: Disappointed by my brother, he appears to be an anti

  1. #46
    Member Array Vinixd's Avatar
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    Apr 2010
    Hi Mike,

    This is a good post!!! Thanks!! It is a shame this played out this way for you. A couple of things come to mind for me. 1. For me more then ever I am choosing to stay concealed and not sharing with people... Ya I know... you would like to think that you could talk with family about your choice here but making the choice to carry is a very personal decision and a very personal choice.. right, wrong, or different. It leads me to my second point I wish to share.... Why do I carry??? I know myself that if before I had received my permit...God forbid I were car jacked or mugged by some punk or bad guy the first thing I would do and say is NEVER again am I going to be a sitting duck without options and I would have applied for a permit. But this is just me and how I think and some say I do not think quite right lolol and that is OK. Thirdly, I beleive, you like I carry to stay safe and keep your loved ones safe! Yes? So suppose you are on your way back from visiting your brother's home not carrying (at his request) and you have car trouble or stop for fuel or whatever and bad stuff happens... You think your upset with your brother now!!!! If something like that happened that is something that is a problem!!! I beleive in reading your post today that you are a big enough man today to handle today's issue knowing there is no real damage done and you will come to know how to handle the situation for future reference. You know more than anyone why you choose to carry and this might be a good time to reflect why. I know this post has made me do so... It will be ok.. Thanks

  2. #47
    Ex Member Array slave's Avatar
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    May 2010
    Wow. I have been lurking here for a year, posted a few times, and maybe it's time I exit stage left.

    How did this turn into an Obama bash?

    People here are just like the OCDO people.

    News flash people, not all libs are anti gun, not all cons are pro gun.

    I am a middle of the road guy, and I voted for Obama this time, Bush last time, I am pro 2A. I am a concealed carrier, I am an open carrier. Don't lump all Libs or supposed Libs in the same group.

    AS to the OP, maybe you should speak to your bro. The problem with men, is we can't see anyone else's POV. so what, he is anti gun, that doesn't make him an unfit parent.

    I feel like everyone who can own a gun, should, but I wouldn't call someone an unfit parent for not owning a gun.

    That is the same kind of judgemental BS that people are accusing Libs of doing. Kettle, Pot, black?

    If you didn't want to know your bro, any excuse would have sufficed, but to blame his gun views, and them call him an unfit parent for not agreeing with your views is a pure ***** move.


  3. #48
    Senior Member Array EvilMonk's Avatar
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    Good on you for taking a stand for your safety.

    The only problem with family is you don't get to choose many of them...
    That which does not kill us leaves us broken and bleeding...

    Don’t mess with the guy who can barely stand up. His remaining options for self-defense don't include your survival.

    Convenire Volui Spectatus

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  5. #49
    VIP Member Array ctsketch's Avatar
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    May 2010
    I'm sorry your brother does not support you personal choices, don't worry all of us liberals aren't as bad as he :p (my brother owns guns as well)
    Glock 19
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    Shodan, Jujutsu

  6. #50
    VIP Member
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    I have a friend I've known for about 35 years, he's a Psychologist. BTW I'm not, but I enjoy the subject and have learned a lot from him.

    If my friend were here, I'll bet he'd say. Send your brother a short email, tell him that 2A is a subject you strongly support, tell him you respect "his" choices, and tell him if he ever becomes interested in 2A stuff you'll be glad to help.

    Otherwise, make 2A a closed subject between you two. Chiding him or whatever will likely only make him more anti-gun. Just let it rest

    By doing so:
    1. You aren't slamming the door in each others faces
    2. You both have parents in common, you will likely need/will work together in the future at some level, for your parents welfare/caregiving.

    Good luck
    Helpful hints on pushing back and strengthening the 2A:

  7. #51
    Member Array hardworker's Avatar
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    May 2010
    Sounds like you are both being stubborn. At the end of the day you've got to decide what's worth more to you. Would you rather humor your brother and go unarmed or would you rather ruin your relationship over something as trivial as carrying a pistol that in all likelihood will never get used to shoot anything. I think some people confuse the right to carry with the duty to carry.

  8. #52
    VIP Member Array shockwave's Avatar
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    Having read through all this, a few things are pretty clear:

    1. Sentioch has given very good advice
    2. The OP is not interested in good advice, he wants confirmation only
    3. The operative word here is "contempt." A bad thing to feel for family.

    This quote is telling:

    To which he smugly stated "well I don't even own a gun."
    The use of the word "smugly" here is redolent of contempt. One would never use a term like this to describe the behavior of a person for whom one feels any level of affection.

    And then this:

    he and his wife do not make their children (ages 3, 6) sit in child safety seats when they drive either. They have no fire extinguishers in their home. He routinely leaves his garage door open all night with the door into the kitchen unlocked just because he doesn't think about it. He is an idiot. His wife is an idiot.
    Well who died and made you God? Leveling this kind of judgement on your relatives makes you sound like a pompous busybody. What, you walked around their house looking for fire extinguishers? You say you've only spoken to your brother a few times over the years yet you suddenly have all this knowledge about their car seats and the 24/7 status of their garage door?

    The details here don't add up right, but if any of the reportage here is true (and I'm guessing only a very small amount of it is), then you're leading with your jaw. You're forcing your beliefs on your brother and sister-in-law, acting shocked that they don't conform to your politics, and writing them off with contempt and, arguably, hatred.

    They're getting the better end of this deal.

    Carrying concealed means carrying concealed. The only reason to display your firearm was to rub it in your brother's face: "Hey there, Mr Liberal Fancy-Pants, lookie here! I was carrying a gun all the time I was here. Haw haw haw! Whaddya think about that?"

    A terrible thing to do. Even so, if asked to not do that again when visiting, the adult response would be to put a gun safe under your car seat and secure your firearm on the next visit. It's called "respecting the wishes of your host." If you are a visitor, and your host asks that you remove your shoes at the door, you take off your shoes - you don't make a federal case out of it.

    And what the hell do you care who they voted for? They are free to cast their votes as they like. What, you're restricting all family contacts solely to those who voted for the Ghost and Mrs Palin? Far as I can tell, the majority of the country found that choice unpalatable.

    Also, I apologize if the tone of this comment is unsupportive. I'd much prefer to write, "good on you - keep your wife and children safe from these gun-grabbing weenie liberals and never contact them again as long as you live." But no matter how I shake this, it seems to me that you've inspected their lives and choices like some blue-stockinged censor, found them wanting, and blanketed them as family, as individuals, and as human beings with a thick layer of unbridled scorn.
    "It may seem difficult at first, but everything is difficult at first."

  9. #53
    Member Array Griffworks's Avatar
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    That's an interesting and insightful post, shockwave. I have to agree after some consideration. Perhaps the OP and his brother can find some common ground and then "agree to disagree" with each other.
    Arkansas Concealed Carry Instructor #12-751

    If guns kill people, then:
    Pincels miss spel werds;
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    And spoons made Rosie O'Donnel fat.

  10. #54
    Senior Member Array swinokur's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BugDude View Post
    You can't choose family, but that also means you don't have to necessarily like them as a person either. It's not uncommon for family members to have such opposing views and beliefs. No amount of debate will change it...it will take a personal event. Since your Dad carries, perhaps you should have some discussion with him about the background of your brother's point of view. He may be able to shed some light on it (probably the influence of the wifey and in-laws). After hearing him dis on Dad, I probably wouldn't have mentioned my carrying...but then again, it would be hard to listen to without saying something too. Hard to tell until you're in the situation, and I'm lucky that my family and in-laws are all cool with it. I wish you the best of luck and hope it turns out ok. Sometimes, you just have to say, "so be it."

    I'm in the same boat. Brother and SIL are rabid anti gun, latte slurping surrender monkeys. The good thing is we both know the others views so we don't discuss those things. Too bad but that's family life.

  11. #55
    Member Array HoustonRaven's Avatar
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    I guess it comes down to what's more important -- carrying or a relationship with a loved one.

    My sister doesnt like guns, I know this and I am close to her so I do not carry around her. Just as we promote the right to choose the manner in which we defend ourselves, I respect her right to dissent and not agree. I think we would all agree that not everyone is wired for guns -- so why force something on someone when we dont have to?

    I guess it would be different if I was not very close to her.

    And the OP's remarks to his brother lacked tact, IMO. Seems like he was going for a cheap dig against his brother rather than having some principled stance.
    WARNING: This post may contain material offensive to those who lack wit, humor, common sense and/or supporting factual or anecdotal evidence. All statements and assertions contained herein may be subject to literary devices not limited to: irony, metaphor, allusion and dripping sarcasm.

  12. #56
    Distinguished Member Array ErnieNWillis's Avatar
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    I experienced some of the same attitudes from friends and family members when I first started carrying. I was told that my weapon was not welcome and I replied that I would respect their wishes and that they would be welcome to visit my home any time they wished but that I would decline any invitation to visit them if it meant that I'd have to leave my pistol at home. They are way more accepting of my choice to carry now.

  13. #57
    Member Array Beretta's Avatar
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    It blows my mind how people believe crime isnt possible just for the mere fact that they live in a 'nice' area. Like a nice area is something that thugs cant access.

    My inlaws are pretty anti, however they leave me alone for the most part. From time to time, my father in law will get cute with me for carrying. I stick to my guns and continue to carry, and dont let them influence my thinking. I think they respect my choice to carry for the most part, in turn I respect theirs for not. Its a right, not an obligation.
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  14. #58
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    Array 1 old 0311's Avatar
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    I have a brother who is a BIG Obama supporter. I left him out of my will.

  15. #59
    Distinguished Member Array C Bennett's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grady View Post
    I'm with you, Mike, about it being a package deal. If he wants to make it all about the gun, that's on him, not you. You are making it about your family's security.

    At least your wife is with you on this one. Good for her for not wanting them to influence your children.

    Glad to see you stick to your guns...I see so many threads like this where people cave in just because its "family". I would be like you and just would say I guess I cant come then sorry. feel free to stop by my place anything though then say well...have a good day...Luckily while all my family is good with guns the worst I get is something like..do you really need that..when I say why I have it they understand and ive not had to explain myself again to any of them(sister once, mom once ) I travel a lot and dont want to get into a situation where say at a rest stop we may actually NEED a gun/defense of some kind but dont have it....they all fully understand that.

  16. #60
    Member Array Mr. Habib's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TN_Mike View Post
    Wow, did you nail it. Ivy League educated she is and, she is the head of the Indiana University Finance Department.
    Welcome to Bloomington, Indiana, liberal black hole of the Midwest. I've worked at IU for 25 years now and this kind of attitude is rampant here. Good for you for sticking to your guns, so to speak. Unfortunately, your brother will probably never change his mind on this as long as his wife is in the picture, not that that should matter to you.

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