Disappointed by my brother, he appears to be an anti

This is a discussion on Disappointed by my brother, he appears to be an anti within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I haven't been as active on here in the last month or two as I have been for several years but I am getting back ...

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Thread: Disappointed by my brother, he appears to be an anti

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
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    Disappointed by my brother, he appears to be an anti

    I haven't been as active on here in the last month or two as I have been for several years but I am getting back into it. I dropped out for a little while because I recently moved up to Indiana from Tennessee. (I am in Indiana but the wife and kids are still in Tennessee. We are moving them up here this Friday)

    Yesterday, for the 4th of July I went to my brothers house for a cook out. I rode up with my parents and as usual, I carried my Glock 23 in a concealment hip holster under and untucked T-shirt.

    When we were leaving my brother walked out to the driveway with my Dad and I. My Dad had brought his XD .40 but left it locked in a car safe in his Minivan. Dad of course checked to make sure nothing was amiss and the gun was still there. My brother preceded to kind of make fun of my Dad for feeling the need to bring a gun with him. I of course defended my Dad and told my brother that Dad's gun wasn't the only one present that day and then showed him that I had one on all day.

    You'd have thought I had just kicked his dog or something. He tried to tell me that there was no need to bring a gun with me and that he lives in a nice part of town. I tried to explain it to him, that crime, especially violent crime can happen anywhere but he wasn't interested in hearing it. So I quickly gave up.

    I heard from him today. He told me that he wants my wife and I and the kids to come up when they get up here but he wants me to leave the gun at home. I politely told him that to me, that is not an option and if the gun is not welcome, then I am not welcome since the gun and I are a package deal. He was somewhat stunned that I would not visit them without the gun. I then told him of my belief that any parent that won't arm themselves for the protection of their kids are unfit parents and don't deserve children. To which he smugly stated "well I don't even own a gun." I told him I knew that and to think about what I had just said. After several seconds of silence, he hung up on me. Oh well.

    One of the reasons I was looking forward to living up here was to get to know my brother again and now that I have, I am disappointed to find out he is not only and anti, but after talking to my Dad about the whole thing, he and his rather stuck up wife are big Liberals and Obama supporters. When I told all of this to my wife last night on the phone, she flatly stated that she doesn't want our children around them or their children. That shouldn't be a problems.

    What a huge disappointment to find out that members of your family are not the people you thought or expected they would be. I miss Tennessee even more now. I foresee a move back there in the not too distant future for us. So does my wife and she isn't even up here yet.
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    VIP Member Array grady's Avatar
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    I'm with you, Mike, about it being a package deal. If he wants to make it all about the gun, that's on him, not you. You are making it about your family's security.

    At least your wife is with you on this one. Good for her for not wanting them to influence your children.

  4. #3
    Senior Member Array CCWFlaRuger's Avatar
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    That is a shame. Don't forget, he is still your brother, thick or thin, he is still your brother. That being said, do what is best for your wife and kids, and good luck.
    "You will not rise to the occasion and you will not default to your level of training. You WILL ONLY default to the level of training you have mastered."
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    VIP Member Array searcher 45's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grady View Post
    I'm with you, Mike, about it being a package deal. If he wants to make it all about the gun, that's on him, not you. You are making it about your family's security.

    At least your wife is with you on this one. Good for her for not wanting them to influence your children.
    My take on it also!!!!
    NOT LIVING IN FEAR, JUST READY!!!
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    nor the arrow for its swiftness,
    nor the warrior for his glory.
    I love only that which they defend.
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    VIP Member Array Guantes's Avatar
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    I am sorry that you went through the trouble to move with high expectations, only to have them dashed. It must be very disappointing with someone as close as a brother.

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    VIP Member Array automatic slim's Avatar
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    Sorry to say it, but your brother is a typical liberal...they only believe in choice when it's their choice. If you happen to speak to him again, tell him if his home is invaded to call Obama since he's doing such a great job on our southern border.
    "First gallant South Carolina nobly made the stand."
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    Senior Member Array 1911PKR's Avatar
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    I went through that issue with my aging, liberal mother Mike. You're a grown adult, it's legal, it's your moral responsibility and it's not negotiable. Brother will just have to come to your place.....or not.

  9. #8
    Senior Member Array Luis50's Avatar
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    "I then told him of my belief that any parent that won't arm themselves for the protection of their kids are unfit parents and don't deserve children. To which he smugly stated "well I don't even own a gun." I told him I knew that and to think about what I had just said. After several seconds of silence, he hung up on me. Oh well."

    These words are a bit strong and offensive don't you think?

    It's really none of my business but, since you posted, maybe a different choice of words would go a long way towards building a relationship with your brother and his family. Not saying that you change your stance on carrying....just less confrontation. The first sentence in this quote is pretty confrontational and counterproductive.

    If you can't get past their political views, maybe a relationship isn't that important to you.

    Again, none of my biz but, that's family. You might want to rethink your approach to this matter.
    Luis

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  10. #9
    Distinguished Member Array tcox4freedom's Avatar
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    Stick to you guns on this one Mike. But, you may want to be a little more tactful when explaining your beliefs.

    My mother and in-laws have always been AG. But, I made it clear that my children will NOT be able to visit "without" me or my wife because I think they are not capable of protecting my children.

    They have been more than welcome to come visit "us" and the children. However, my wife and I always politely but, authoritively refuse their invitations for the children to visit.

    They now seem to be interested in taking a CWP class and getting their permits.

    BTW;
    It really has helped "our" case; by citing BG instances that happen in their own cities of Nashville & Memphis.

  11. #10
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    I feel your pain! My oldest brother is so liberal he makes Obama look like a conservative!

    I've learned that arguing with a lib is impossible since they live in an ideological world. For them, what matters is the way they "think" the world is as opposed to how it "really" is. No matter how much you argue the facts of reality, they are blinded by ideology and refuse to accept the way things really are.

    He lives in Georgia and when I go to visit, I never tell him I'm armed. I figure that what he doesn't know won't hurt him. He may assume I'm armed since he knows I always carry here in Ohio but he's never mentioned it.
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    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    If you were going to burlarize a house, steal something or rob someone ... would you do it in a poor crime ridden part of town, or the "good part of town". And he thinks BG's haven't figured that out long ago.

    Dont' attack him for not understanding... educate him as to why you do.
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    Sorry about your problem; I went through something similar before. There is a big different between being an anti and being an anti only because of lack of knowledge. You can talk about it with people that belong to the second group, and perhaps they will realize that they are wrong and therefore they might change their mind. But IMO there is not reason to waste time trying to talk with people that really are antis. Perhaps you should find out to which of those groups your brother belongs before deciding anything.
    "The Second Amendment: America's Original Homeland Security"

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    Member Array spike's Avatar
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    my two cents

    Mike, I had the same situation happen to me except in was my father who was a little Anti. Which was strange for me conceding that like myself he is in law enforcement and has been for 30 years. He asked me one day if I was carrying a weapon I stated yes. He looked at me with a strange look as if to say “why do you need that?” we had the because its not the governments job to protect the any one citizen conversation So you have to do it yourself . He has had a firearm in the nightstand draw ever since I was a little kid. But he does not believe in self protection outside the home. I live in a town that the PD unit is at least 45 minutes away if you call. The town is patroled by the county sheriff or state police. So to me it is a different way of thinking. I think it the head in the sand thinking, But if your brother does not want you to bring the weapon with you when you visit his house. I would not go over there. Harsh word or not.

    Spike

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    Sorry things worked out the way they did for you Mike. I understand completely. I go through the same thing with my brother, who is retired LEO. Unfortunately he is one that thinks that LE are the only people who should own/carry firearms. I refuse to go to his house (he lives in Illinois), and he won't drive to Indiana to visit when I'm here.
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    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luis50 View Post
    "I then told him of my belief that any parent that won't arm themselves for the protection of their kids are unfit parents and don't deserve children. To which he smugly stated "well I don't even own a gun." I told him I knew that and to think about what I had just said. After several seconds of silence, he hung up on me. Oh well."

    These words are a bit strong and offensive don't you think?

    It's really none of my business but, since you posted, maybe a different choice of words would go a long way towards building a relationship with your brother and his family. Not saying that you change your stance on carrying....just less confrontation. The first sentence in this quote is pretty confrontational and counterproductive.

    If you can't get past their political views, maybe a relationship isn't that important to you.

    Again, none of my biz but, that's family. You might want to rethink your approach to this matter.
    No, I do not feel that my words were too harsh at all. And to be honest, I have not been close to my brother for 24 years. That was the last time I lived here. I went off to the Navy. Since then, we have actually seen each other maybe 10 times. Spoken a total of maybe 30 times. I am not that close to him and if I do not get close to him, it's really no skin off my nose at all. As a person, I do not really like him at this point. He doesn't come to my parents house to help them with anything, even if they ask for it. (they are in their late 60's with some health problems) But he is always going to his wife's parents place to help with stuff.
    ,=====o00o _
    //___l__,\____\,__
    l_--- \___l---[]lllllll[]
    (o)_)-o- (o)_)--o-)_)

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