"made" by a 5 year old
This is a discussion on "made" by a 5 year old within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; So there I was out in the yard horsing with the grankids and the mastiff when the 5yr. old asked "what's that in your belt ...
July 13th, 2010 01:03 AM
"made" by a 5 year old
So there I was out in the yard horsing with the grankids and the mastiff when the 5yr. old asked "what's that in your belt granpa"? I then realized that my shirt had rode up and my pistol was exposed.
I told him that it was a pistol to which he replied "why do you have a pistol"? Just then the dog ran up,distracted the grandkid,and they were off to cause some kind of trouble.
Now before someone says I should have a serious talk with him about grandpa's gun realize he's 5. He has a attention span only slightly longer then the dog. I'm concerned that at his next meeting with the Oreos and milk club he belongs to that he's going to announce to the "guys" that grandpa packs a gun.
The daughter and son in law have no problem with ccw but have left the issue up to me in how to handle.
So I ask "What do I do"?
July 13th, 2010 01:03 AM
July 13th, 2010 01:07 AM
If you make a big deal about it, he will only have more reason to want to "brag" to his friends about it.
I'd say do nothing. If he talks to his buddies, and a parent asks you about it, just laugh it off and tell them the kid is telling stories. You might want to tell your kids to do this as well in case one of their playdate parents calls them up inquiring.
That's what I'd do.
I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them. -- John Wayne as John B. Books in "The Shootist"
July 13th, 2010 01:27 AM
Hi! I'm brand new to the board but not to parenting.
If it were my 5 yr old you were talking about, I would watch the Eddie Eagle program with him (on YouTube here or available on DVD or VHS here). If his attention span couldn't handle more then, I'd bring up the video later that day when he could re-focus. I would use the opportunity to discuss that a gun is a tool that adults use, but that some adults don't know much about them because they don't have cool grandpas like you who could teach them and that when they don't know about them, some of them get scared of guns.
"We don't want to scare anyone, and even though we know it is just a tool that Grandpa knows how to use safely, it is best to only talk about Grandpa's gun with Mommy, Daddy, Grandpa, and Grandma unless one of us gives you special permission. So should you talk about Grandpa's gun with your best friend Max? No. What about with Max's daddy? No. What about if your teacher is teaching the class about guns. Do you tell the teacher that Grandpa has a gun? No. Who can you talk to if you want to talk about Grandpa's gun? That's right--Mommy... Daddy... Who else? Grandma. Uh huh. And Grandpa?"
"But what about if you see a gun other than Grandpa's gun? What should you do then? That's right! Stop, don't touch, leave the area, and tell an adult like mommy or daddy or Aunt Ruth or cousin Jim. Should you tell Bud the dog? Noooo! He can't do anything about it! What if you see a gun on a bed? Stop, don't touch, leave the area, and tell an adult! What if you see a gun in a toy box? Stop, don't touch, leave the area, and tell an adult! What if you want to touch the gun? Stop, don't touch, leave the area, and tell an adult. And you can ask Grandpa to touch it. Grandpa will let you look at my gun whenever you want as long as you ask, OK? Do you want me to show you my gun? No, you want to play legos? OK. What should we build?" This scenario would just play out over and over and over again until it was second nature to him, and the times where you're showing him the gun, you can build on previous information.
Here's an article about how to interact with him on it by a forum member and here's a link to all of her articles on kids and guns.
July 13th, 2010 03:04 AM
When I started seriously carrying my youngest daughter was 4 and oldest was 7. I explained it to them. It's been a non issue since. Well, except they occasionally whack their head or scratch an arm on it. Both my girls know I carry. I OC at home regularly. I have not been called to the school to explain anything yet.
At 5 he can understand if it's put simply. There are bad people in the world, sometimes they hurt other people, and I carry a gun to keep bad people from hurting the people I love.
Will he tell all his friends, dunno on that one.
I prefer to live dangerously free than safely caged!
"Our houses are protected by the good Lord and a gun. And you might meet 'em both if you show up here not welcome son." Josh Thompson "Way Out Here"
July 13th, 2010 04:19 AM
Funny that you should ask.
My two boys are in their 30's, and my guns around them were never a concern. They got to hold and shoot them...they never touched them without supervision.
Thirty years later...
The grandkids (3 and 6) arrived for a three-week visit (one week left). Being armed while at home, I was wondering what I would say if they would see my gun. I was pretty careful about getting dressed, but as kids don't miss much... It only took about a week...the 6 year old spotted my Glock. She asked what it was, and I said it was a gun...a tool I use if I need to. I told her it was like my saws and drills, very useful, but also very dangerous to use improperly. She then asked when I use it. I told her that I use it to practice how it works and that I keep it to protect myself and our family.
She said, "O.K., thanks grandpa." She hasn't mentioned it again, but Eddie Eagle is going to be showing at "Ret's House" on Wednesday afternoon.
The Eddie Eagle download is a good start.
At young ages, I see the need to answer only the questions that they have...not all of the things, we as adults, think of...OMOYMV
"That I cannot do."
"Give this to, uh, Clemenza. I want reliable people, people who aren't going to be carried away. After all we're not murderers in spite of what this undertaker thinks."
Certified Glock Armorer
NRA Life Member
July 13th, 2010 10:40 AM
Oh, so you recommend calling the kid a liar to his parents/teachers/friends? Liar, liar, pants on fire. Frankly, that is asinine. I sincerely hope you don't have children. Do you tell them to behave or the doctor will give them a shot?
Originally Posted by Tala
"Making a big deal" can be a good thing. Yes, he MIGHT brag to his friends, but he might also understand why grandpa has a gun - for his protection. I have found that openness and truthfulness is ALWAYS the best policy with children. Take the mystery out of it and it will become an everyday thing - not worthy of comment.
Good - Now the kid doesn't want to tell the truth because no one believes what he says. He wonders why grandpa told a lie on HIM. Do you think he'll ever believe in grandpa again? 5 isn't too young for happenings to have strong imprints on the child - good AND bad. Grandpa is lying on himself and if it's ever discovered he DOES carry, everyone will wonder why he denied it. The only thing a lie does is perpetuate more lies.
If grandpa is carrying legally, he needs to own up to it. Sit down with the child AND his parents (I don't like the fact that they're abdicated the responsibility to grandpa) and do some simple explaining. Use this opportunity to TEACH.
July 13th, 2010 10:49 AM
For Lady Luck....Nice post!
Sometimes in life you have to stand your ground. It's a hard lesson to learn and even most adults don't get it, but in the end only I can be responsible for my life. If faced with any type of adversity, only I can overcome it. Waiting for someone else to take responsibility is a long fruitless wait.
July 13th, 2010 11:00 AM
I have a friend who encountered a similar issue when his daughter was younger. He explained to her what it was and described it as "Daddy's secret." He made it clear that she should not tell her friends or anyone else about it.
Now she's 9 and quite a shot with her BB gun, and still keeps quiet about his weapon.
I have to admit, it was very cute one day when his shirt lifted a little high and she tugged on his arm and whispered, "Daddy, your 'secret' is showing!"
July 13th, 2010 11:02 AM
the only talk that is necessary is that it is a private thing and shouldnt be mentioned to other people...
my daughter was instructed that way years ago and she sees my gun as a part of my wardrobe now...she doesnt utter a peep if she wraps her arms around me and hangs right off it at times....
chances are the kid is going to remember the gun and mention it to someone...it would have been a great time to nip it in the butt...
July 13th, 2010 11:29 AM
If he says to his classmates or teacher..."Daddy has a secret in his pants" your going to have a lot of explaining to do. DYFS will be knocking at your door in no time.
"Confidence is food for the wise man but liquor for the fool"
July 13th, 2010 11:39 AM
If you make it a big deal with kids; it becomes a big deal with kids.
I had this conversation with my 3yr old the other day when she noticed my gun in my belt.
Her: Daddy, what is that?
Me: It is my gun.
Her: What is that (her version of what is a gun)?
Me: It helps daddy keep you and mommy safe.
Her: Okay... Daddy, why is it there (pointing at my hip)?
Me: Because I like it there.
Her: Okay... Can we go for a walk now?
She is very inquisitive and is at the age where she wants to understand everything so I am sure that I will have this conversation again in the future.
I am not worried about her running out and telling anyone about it. Even if she did tell someone, I am still not worried about it. If her little friendís parents freak out that her daddy carries a gun it changes nothing. If they bring it to my attention then I do my best to explain the law to them and my feelings about protecting myself and my family. If they disagree or otherwise take it upon themselves to try and educate my child with their own political/societal views then she will be finding new friends.
July 13th, 2010 11:42 AM
Oh man! "And he lets me hold it whenever I ask, but he said I'm not supposed to tell anyone because some people don't understand." That'd be swell!!
Originally Posted by Sig35seven
CPS would most likely be at the school by the end of the day, questioning him before he went home and before you ever knew it. He'd then hopefully tell them enough info for them to realize what was going on. You might not even hear from them or know they came at all.
July 13th, 2010 11:50 AM
I would reword that to Daddy has a secret on his BELT. JMO ; )
Originally Posted by Sig35seven
A Native Floridian = RARE
IT'S OUR RIGHTS>THEY WANT TO WRONG
July 13th, 2010 01:54 PM
"hangs right off of it at times"? Yep that sounds safe.
Originally Posted by bladenbullet
July 13th, 2010 02:38 PM
You did right. He wanted to know what it was and you answered.
The maximum effective range of an excuse is zero meters.
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