4 year old asks, loud, "Do you have your gun!"

[Thanis]

Had in-laws in town. My neice is 4 years old, wonderful little girl, but likes to treat me like a jungle gym. She noticed my pocket carry, and thought it was my wallet. She grabbed for it, and I told her no. Because I tend to be the fun uncle, no did not do the trick, so I told her, stop, like your mommy and daddy I sometimes carry a gun, so what you are doing is very dangerous. I then let the parents know what happened.

I'm not sure if I did the right thing, but my in-laws are very pro-carry, have let their children know they carry, and have told them guns are not for children. Naturally, firearms are always secured when children are around.

Like I said, I'm not sure if I reacted correctly, but it was the best I could come up with at the time.

So one day, we are out with the majority of the wife's family. About half of us head to the range to shoot while the others head to a near by mall to shop. The 4 year old has shared with her uncle, my brother-in law, that I have a gun in my pocket (maybe because she heard we were going to go shooting).

Then, when we meet up in a children's clothing store, she begins to ask / state, in far more than a whisper, "Do you have your gun...", "Where is your gun...", etc. Nothing will shut her up fast enough, but finally, a little scolding on how she needs to be quite "now" does the trick. I then wonder if I've done the right thing, as noticing a gun and being loud is not always a bad thing. I can't wrap my mind how to get this subtitle difference across to a 4 year old as a uncle, and still keep her mouth shut, so I leave it at that.

Thoughts.

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[SIGguy229]

Hey...it happens. You didn't do anything wrong. Just remember that 4-yr olds (and the like) are basically walking, talking, recording machines without a off, stop, or mute button. You don't know what they will say or when they will say it. The only thing you could have done is mention to her (while correcting her), is discussion of guns in public is not something you do (which I believe is appropriate for the age). YMMV

[mprp]

Woops! Beings that she's 4, you could tell her that you don't carry it anymore that way next time, she may yell out, "..remember when you USED to carry your gun?"

[chiefjason]

My 6 yr old daughter made some comments last week for the first time. I basically answered her question or corrected her comment and then ignored it. I did not make a big deal about it. She quit talking about it. Might not always work, but if she is doing it to get attention then giving her attention won't stop her either.

[goldshellback]

Hey...it happens. You didn't do anything wrong. Just remember that a 4-yr old (and the like) are basically walking, talking, recording machines without a off, stop, or mute button. You don't know what they will say or when they will say it.

Gotta love the young'uns! You being the fun uncle has to be balanced with boundries. At 4 years old, she's only just learning. Remember, her universe is as small as her and there's not much experience in manners and social behavior......yet. You handeled it as well as you needed to.

[charlie1826]

I think you handled it well. Now just wait until you have the same situation but with a 21 year old. Thats fun.

[pcon]

I guess I wouldn't have done it differently. I mean, she's 4 and really doesn't know any better, right? If she stopped screaming it out, problem solved. I don't think it'll scar her to keep her mouth shut if she sees someone pull a gun out in a store. She'll still likely say SOMETHING about it to someone. I think you're alright.

[royal barnes]

My kids, growing up, knew that I carried all the time as an LEO. Someone asked my younger daughter, when she was about six, if I carried a gun all the time. Her response was, "yes. doesn't everybody?". My 4 year old granddaughter was into headbutting for awhile like a lot of kids that age. Fortunately she was tall enough that she didn't catch me in the crotch. Several weeks ago she ran into me from the right side and collided with a 5" Colt 1911. She backed up, rubbed her head, and said, "Mom, I just ran into granddaddy's gun and it hurt". My daughter adviised me that she has not witnessed any headbutting since.

[usmcj]

chiefjason has the right idea........ a 4 yr-old's attention span isn't gonna be long enough to make this an issue for long. Don't make a big deal out of it, and it will go away.

Besides, if overheard, you could have lots of room to shop....all by yourself....

[bladenbullet]

kind of hard to get it through a 4 year olds head that some things are better left unsaid...personally i would have instructed her that whatever is in your pockets is personal and not to play with and left it at that as opposed to telling her it was a gun...little mouths dont think before they talk...

not much you can do about it at that age...

love the head butt story...that had to be a sight....

[Keltyke]

You did everything right. It's up to her parents to ingrain in her that we don't talk about our guns in public. Kids that age learn by repetition, so all they need do is keep reiterating it to her, over and over.

Woops! Beings that she's 4, you could tell her that you don't carry it anymore that way next time, she may yell out, "..remember when you USED to carry your gun?"

WRONG! A lie told is still a lie, and it'll turn around and bite you on the butt one day - especially with kids. Do you still tell your kids, "Be good or I'll take you to the doctor and he'll give you a shot."? Caveman-era parenting.

[usmcj]

" Do you still tell your kids, "Be good or I'll take you to the doctor and he'll give you a shot."? Caveman-era parenting."

....no, it was "if you think you're too sick to go to school, we'll go to the Dr. and see if you might need a shot... "

[crs34]

I vote with being upfront with the kids as it has worked for me. And let them know about any changes.

Have been upfront with my kids since I started carrying. Twin girls that were 7 at the time. Let them know why I carried and that it was nobody else s business. That's why I carried concealed. They are both huggers and I will get hugged several times in the course of an outing and they never made any public comments about the slight bulge the G26 IWB on the right hip makes.

Two months ago, I decided to get a spare magazine carrier rather than stuffing it a pocket. It's a G 19 mag with a pierce spacer and is actually bulkier than the pistol. Was in Best Buy that weekend when one gives me a hug, hits the new bulge on the left hip, grabs it and yells what's this?

No doubt in my mind if I had told her about it, she wouldn't have said a thing. Have generally found if I don't make a big deal out of it, they don't make a big deal out of it.

[automatic slim]

You could have extended your thumb and forefinger and said "I got mine, do you got your's?" This would make bystanders think you both were playing.

[mprp]

My kids, growing up, knew that I carried all the time as an LEO. Someone asked my younger daughter, when she was about six, if I carried a gun all the time. Her response was, "yes. doesn't everybody?". My 4 year old granddaughter was into headbutting for awhile like a lot of kids that age. Fortunately she was tall enough that she didn't catch me in the crotch. Several weeks ago she ran into me from the right side and collided with a 5" Colt 1911. She backed up, rubbed her head, and said, "Mom, I just ran into granddaddy's gun and it hurt". My daughter adviised me that she has not witnessed any headbutting since.

Priceless!