Is This a Good Choice for My Wife?

This is a discussion on Is This a Good Choice for My Wife? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; When I got my CPL I brought my wife with me to the class and filled out her paperwork, so she's good to go to ...

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Thread: Is This a Good Choice for My Wife?

  1. #1
    Member Array The Expert's Avatar
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    Is This a Good Choice for My Wife?

    When I got my CPL I brought my wife with me to the class and filled out her paperwork, so she's good to go to carry now that it came in the mail.

    The problem is...she doesn't.

    She's a rather fearful person too, and says that she would like to carry, but we have not made it a priority.'

    She's shot a few guns, but not a lot. She's not really going to change the way she dresses, and unlike me, she is not going to open carry. Pretty much, she wants nothing to change where wardrobe selection is concerned but wants to carry.

    We had considered purse carry, but we have 3 kids (6,4,3) and I don't think either of us are comfortable with the idea of off-body carry.

    One thought I had was to set her up with a Ruger LCP in a Crossbreed MiniTuck holster. I'm thinking that the entire rig would be light enough that she wouldn't need to wear a belt, which is good because she doesn't own one.

    I'm not a fan of the .380 from what I've read, but I thought that loaded with +P ammo it would probably be better than the "nothing" she is carrying right now.

    Can anyone chime in on this line of thinking?
    In the Marine Corps I carried one of the standard Beretta M9 service pistols in a traditional duty holster. Now it's a 1911 in a SuperTuck. I'm glad for the upgrade.

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Array Snowman23's Avatar
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    Anything is better than nothing....that I agree with. But is it right for her? Well, that's up to her. If she can shoot it and carry it comfortably then it may be the solution. I think she's going to have to take a turn on her thinking and realize the importance of CCW as it relates to her safety and the safety of your children. I know that wasn't the be all end all solution you might be looking for. But a little work on her perception of carry might be needed.

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    Like Snowman said, I think the real issue will be her decision to take carrying more seriously.

    For what it's worth, I personally don't normally consider the LCP as a gun for beginners. My wife thought mine looked 'cute' but quickly realized that she didn't have the finger strength to pull the slide, and couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with it. But as you said, it's the easiest to carry and something is better than nothing. She will have to train with it, though.
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    VIP Member Array NC Bullseye's Avatar
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    Do NOT try to buy a gun for your wife unless she's tried it and likes it. There is no better way to turn her completely off shooting than to have a gun she hates to shoot.

    Smaller guns hide easier but have much snappier recoil. This is a big negative for new shooters. Take her out and find a range that rents several different handguns and let her determine what direction you go.

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    VIP Member Array ctsketch's Avatar
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    until she tries is, and until she decides to take carrying seriously...dont' buy anything for her
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    Distinguished Member Array Diddle's Avatar
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    One caution - the LCP is not rated for +p ammo. Although some say its OK, Ruger says NO!

    You did not say what your wife does or indicate her typical dress code. That plays a lot into what she can use. I do understand the resiverstions about purse carry though.

    Best! and congratulations on thinking things out before hand.
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    VIP Member Array JoJoGunn's Avatar
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    I was at first a bit confused by the title of your post. I was fully expecting to see a pic of some hot looking babe and you wanted our opinion. Now, all kidding aside,

    My wife who carries everyday and all places legal to do so, picked out her carry piece. She settled on the Ruger LCP and really likes it. Your wife should do the same, because each firearm feels different.
    "A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"

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    If she's not willing to make any (or very, very few) accomodations for CC, then I'm afraid your selection of carry pieces is going to be limited. Something in the size range of the LCP may be all she can get away with, but there are any number of good choices in the "super-sub compact" .380 category right now. The LCP, Sig P238, Kel-Tek P3AT, Kahr's version, and so on are all viable options. My advice is to let her handle (and preferably shoot) as many as possible, and let her decide.
    A man fires a rifle for many years, and he goes to war. And afterward he turns the rifle in at the armory, and he believes he's finished with the rifle. But no matter what else he might do with his hands - love a woman, build a house, change his son's diaper - his hands remember the rifle.

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    The feeling I get is that she's not fully mentally committed to carrying, more so that a question of what firearm to carry. She needs to handle and fire different makes in different calibers to see what she's comfortable with. The manner of concealment and dress is another issue in itself.

    Get her more comfortable with shooting first. The question of which gun to carry will probably be resolved by then.
    Retired USAF E-8. Remember: You're being watched!
    Paranoia strikes deep, into your heart it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... "For What It's Worth" Buffalo Springfield

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    VIP Member Array Thanis's Avatar
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    My wife has the same concerns, in a way. Her employer prevents carry, so most of her day negates the issue. Then, when we went to pick out firearms, she was unwilling to change how she dresses, in addition, did not think much about CC when she chose a firearm to buy (she wanted one that she "liked" to fire).

    Since the firearm was her go to home sd firearm, and I did not want to push my opinions on her (other then basic storage), it was for her to deside. She wanted a firearm, she wanted the CC (just in case and also to make transportation simpler). The limited number of times she CC it is purse carry. My wife has no interest in OC other then in the woods.

    Smaller frame .380 have a little recoil to them that some don't like (sometimes people underestimate the .380, thinking small gun is simple mode). Still, the smaller .380s are a good choice imho for women with limited CC options due to the type of clothing many choose to wear (not so much revealing as tighter fitting). I had hoped at one time a revolver might do the trick, but the wheel pushed against her in a way that was uncomfortable.

    In the end, just show her the options, and unless there is an urgent issue (like a stalker), don't force anything. It really needs to be something she takes 100% ownership of, both because of the potential mistakes she may blame on you later and the minimum confidence that is required when carrying a firearm.

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    Senior Member Array DoctorBob's Avatar
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    The LCP is a very compact and light gun but it is VERY snappy and she might not like the recoil. It is also (I think) rather hard to aim since the sights are on a very short radius and rather small. She might do better with a Glock 26 or 19. Also, consider a fanny pack for her carry holster. It's realy out of sight and a smart leather one might be acceptable.

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    VIP Member Array chiefjason's Avatar
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    My wife thought the P3at looked like a gun she could conceal well and carry. Problem is that she hates it. Too snappy and hard to hold onto. My best suggestion is to find a place that rents one or find someone who will let you shoot theirs. We bought ours without shooting it. Now we are pretty much stuck with it. I carry it occasionally so it's ok.

    Probably the best suggestion is to find a gun she likes and shoots well. Then figure out how to carry it. That's what we did this time. My wife breezed through the shooting portion of her CCP class Sat with her XD 9mm sc. She loves it. She want's to carry it. Now we have to figure out how, lol.
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    Distinguished Member Array Black Knight's Avatar
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    Take her to a range that rents different guns. Let her try as many as she can. She will tell you which seems best for her. As to the method of carry, carrying in a purse is a bad idea in many ways. You mentioned kids might go into the purse. That is a very real possibility. Another is you are out somewhere and decide to stop and relax, you set down. Where does the purse go? Most likely it is draped on the back of a chair of some sort. In a large crowd a person could easily reach into the purse and steal her wallet, or even the gun while both of you are distracted. Same situation but this time a teenager is out and about, grabs the purse and is 25 - 50 feet away before you could get up and give chase. Purses get stolen all the time. Purse snatchers come in all age groups, ethnic groups and cultures, and both sexes and usually can get away faster than you can react. If she decides to carry concealed or open, carrying somewhere on the body is the best way to go.

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    Distinguished Member Array AKsrule's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Expert View Post
    When I got my CPL I brought my wife with me to the class and filled out her paperwork, so she's good to go to carry now that it came in the mail.
    The problem is...she doesn't.
    She's a rather fearful person too, and says that she would like to carry, but we have not made it a priority.'
    She's shot a few guns, but not a lot.
    The QUICKEST way to make a person HATE shooting is to hand them a hard to handle Loud gun and make them bang away with it.

    She doesn't have to start carrying immediately.

    Borrow or buy a .22 pistol and TEACH HER TO SHOOT.
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    New Member Array JOCO Dave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DoctorBob View Post
    The LCP is a very compact and light gun but it is VERY snappy and she might not like the recoil. It is also (I think) rather hard to aim since the sights are on a very short radius and rather small. She might do better with a Glock 26 or 19. Also, consider a fanny pack for her carry holster. It's realy out of sight and a smart leather one might be acceptable.
    My wife thought my LCP was "cute" and she wanted one UNTIL she shot mine and she doesn't like it..She is small framed and has small hands and the "snap" of the recoil isn't pleasant to her and she (like me) doesn't care for the long trigger pull..After I put the CT on it I am happy with it but in most cases it ends up being my BUG..
    That said, a couple of weeks ago she was going into a situation (without me along) that she had some doubt about and she said "Let me have the little gun".. I have no doubt that she would have used it if needed, but my suggestion would be to buy her something she enjoys shooting.. We ended up with a .38 for her but now she had me buy her a .40 XD and she is making friends with it..

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