Defensive Carry banner

Bummer of a conversation with my son

6K views 64 replies 55 participants last post by  Bm7b5 
#1 ·
Hanging out with my 10-yr-old the other night, he asked me "why I hid my gun(s)" (meaning concealed carry). He said that it just seemed sneaky and he wanted to make sure that it was legal. So I showed him my permit and described that South Carolina law requires that the gun be 'hidden' when carried. I also reinforced that he is not to discuss that I carry with his friends nor anyone else. This of course, caused him more alarm, as he saw this as "sneaky".

We then talked about why I didn't want the bad guys to know that I carry, as well as why I didn't want anybody else to know. After more discussion, I got to the source of his concern - which was because his teacher at school had told them that bad people used guns, drugs and alcohol. Nice. I guess that's how ATF got it's name...

That boy trusts me completely, but this was the first time that I've ever seen a doubt in his eyes. It looks like I have my work cut out for me in a society that demonizes the 2nd amendment.
 
#5 ·
Well to a 10 year old "sneak" always means you are doing something wrong. Let him know that "sneak" can also sometimes that you are doing something right. Explain that undercover cops "sneak" in order to protect people, and Special Forces "sneak" in order to help save the lives of Military personal.
 
#65 ·
Good point. And in Nazi Germany some people hid Jews in the basements and attics to try to prevent the Jews from being murdered in concentration camps. Good chance to teach a little history in addition.
 
#6 ·
We then talked about why I didn't want the bad guys to know that I carry, as well as why I didn't want anybody else to know. After more discussion, I got to the source of his concern - which was because his teacher at school had told them that bad people used guns, drugs and alcohol. Nice. I guess that's how ATF got it's name...
Point out that the police use guns. Are they bad people? He's at an impressionable age. Now's the time to make the right impression with him.
 
#58 ·
Yep. Bad people use cars, but that doesn't mean all people who use cars are bad people.

This is a good opportunity to teach him that it isn't the inanimate OBJECT that is bad, but that there are bad people in the world that do bad things gun or not.
 
#9 ·
Depending on what checks are done for the S.C. permit... You might also explain to your son, that only good guys can get a permit to carry a weapon, legally, and that they are thouroughly checked out by LE before being allowed to do so. And at the same time explain that bad guys do carry their guns hidden, too... that they do that to terrorize people and to commit crimes and to hurt people... You carry so that you can protect your family from those bad people.

You do indeed have your work cut out for you...

His next question is likely to be: If there were no guns for the bad guys or for you... nobody would ever get hurt... Why not get rid of the guns?

Good luck!
 
#11 ·
After more discussion, I got to the source of his concern - which was because his teacher at school had told them that bad people used guns, drugs and alcohol.
Well, this is true, Bad guys do use all of those things. Make sure he knows that good guys do too. Its not the object, its the action that makes it bad. Doctors use drugs for good things far more than bad guys use them for evil. Policemen, soliders and Dads use guns for good as well.
 
#29 ·
What SIXTO says makes a lot of sense to me. Furthermore, I should talk with the school principal and not with the teacher. It is not about tying to convert an anti, it is about that the teacher is lying to the children and he makes they worry, and that is totally wrong.
 
#15 ·
All you can do is teach them well and try to instill the values you want. It's easier if it's nipped in the bud and taught first instead of changing their minds after the fact that someone else ( the teacher ) imparted their veiws first. It's hard to cover ALL the bases ALL the time. If it was easy, every kid would turn out perfect. The great base you have is that you said he trusts you. This should'nt change that, it will be just one of his learning experiences in life, is all.
 
#18 ·
The teacher could have said "bad people use guns" within the context of a larger point that may or may not have been anti-2A. That type of nuanced conversation is probably not the best idea for younger kids who just hear "bad people use guns" and not the rest of the conversation. (I can tell my 8 year old ten things and she will only remember one :rolleyes:) Just a though, I guess it could go either way.
 
#19 ·
My son is also 10. I have concealed carried a handgun since he can remember. I was teaching my son gun safety as soon as I could. He knows why i carry and respects not just firearms but what I teach him. He likes guns. I did too at his age. My dad was a police officer so I grew up around it and was also taught gun safety at a very early age. He has his own Ruger 10/22 Charger. Its his but of course in MY possession. I have explained why I carry and how it works.

Anyway my son knows concealed carry is just how it is. Its the law. He understand a person has to be licensed and cant be a 'bad guy'. He doesnt talk about it to others. I simply explained some people are afraid of guns. Its a progressive learning experience for him. He is young but mature for his age. Each child is different and will absorb things different especially in the educational system. I dont know what will work best for you but as in my case I literally sat my son so he was focused on the conversation and explained it to him about why I carry and why i carry the way I do. Its never been a problem. In fact he will check me to make sure he cant see my handgun while we are out.
 
#22 ·
According to my class instructor, the state of SC runs a background check nightly on all CWP holders. I would emphazise that good guys use guns too. The sneaky part is becuase people like his old teacher would get freaked out if they saw your gun so our state law prohibits open carry in most situations.
 
#24 ·
This isn't really about what the teacher said. It is about a boy developing his sense of right and wrong, and in his young mind "sneak" means wrong. Kids think in absolutes. Sneak is always wrong. A lie is always wrong. They can not appreciate nor should they be expected to appreciate that there are times when lies serve useful purposes which are legitimate---"honey that dress looks lovely on you," as an example. They can not understand that keeping private things private is different from the dishonest sneak.

I would just work on helping him understand that lots of life is gray, and that ethical issues and moral issues can be very difficult because good people may properly disagree on the lines.
 
#27 ·
Thanks Hopyard. That sounds like sage advice. He's a fairly cerebral little guy, and shown an ability to grasp grey areas before. I think he'll be fine.

Now if I can only get him to remember muzzle-control. He still hasn't graduated from constant supervision with a bb-gun yet... :tired:
 
#25 ·
To me this is the influence of the liberal educational system that is foisted upon us by our libel school systems. I remember well the indoctrination I received at the hands of liberal educators, both in primary school and in secondary education.

Biker
 
#26 ·
After more discussion, I got to the source of his concern - which was because his teacher at school had told them that bad people used guns, drugs and alcohol. Nice. I guess that's how ATF got it's name...

That boy trusts me completely, but this was the first time that I've ever seen a doubt in his eyes. It looks like I have my work cut out for me in a society that demonizes the 2nd amendment.
"Bad people" do use guns (I am not vouching for this teacher). As with many things that we want our children to learn from us (e.g., sex, religion, drugs) the parent must fill in the details - the gray areas where we probably do not want teachers to tread. In general, kids as a group at that age are not ready for the "it depends" response - they think in more "good/bad" terms. Also remember you are getting his understanding of what was said, partly influenced by how kids at that age make sense of things. Was it "only bad people use guns, drugs and alcohol". I would not want to engage in a deep discussion of morality with a class of 4th graders - so along comes the "Just say NO" approach.

Again, not vouching for (or condemning) the teacher, but perhaps you are interpreting it based on your own expectations as well. And I suspect, as a teacher, no matter what answer one gives to some questions it is likely to cross someone.

My discussion with him would address the fact that, yes, bad people do bad things and sometimes they use guns to do bad things. But guns are a tool and people decide how to use them - for good or bad. Highlight the examples already noted as people who choose to use this tool for good. A little history lesson, a little lesson on the constitution that our founding fathers felt it was important to give good people a tool they could use to preserve the good. All tools can be misused, but we believe that, in this case, the good outweighs the bad.

That is a discussion for a parent not for a teacher.
 
#30 ·
What the teacher said is true: bad guys do use those. I doubt he (she) said only BGs used them. It would have been better if teach had said GGs also use guns. It may be a simple misunderstanding of what was discussed.

At ten years old, most kids can understand right from wrong when presented with both sides. I don't know what the basis of the teacher's comment was or what brought that topic up, but you need to explain the difference between GGs and BGs, and the intent of each.
 
#37 ·
I agree with you 100% and I'm not sure why some are flying off into the liberal teaching rants and the teacher is anti-gun. There is zero proof to back up that claim. We all know bad guys do use guns and that is why some of us good guys carry them for protection.

I'm not going to bash the teacher for his/her statement. His soon asked him an honest question and he let his son know he is not being sneaky. As for talking to the teacher or principle I think it is absurd to do so. The teacher did nothing wrong in making a statement that is 100% fact. Bad guys do use guns.
 
#31 ·
I think several people have already hit the nail on the head. To me, this falls into the same category as teaching any other set of values to our children. Just focus on what you teach him at home, so he knows how to spot nonsense when he's not home. There will be plenty of other subjects where the school's advocating one way or another may differ from how you want him raised. This is a great opportunity to start teaching him how to deal with those situation.
 
#32 ·
All this goes to show just how influential teachers are...for good or for ill.
Teachers will be promoting their worldview. There's no way around it.
We send our children to a private (Christian) school just for that reason.
 
#36 ·
LOL. Guess what, Brass? So do we! It costs me as small fortune. Although, I really don't think that we can shield our children from all of the junk that they're gonna be told from authority figures, regardless of the institution. Rather than attempt to re-educate the teacher, I plan to use this as a teachable moment for my son to always think for himself and not be afraid to ask confrontational questions, especially to me. I'm very glad he approached me on this, as it gives me a referance point to bring it up again.
 
#48 ·
I have a 10yob and an 8yog that I've taken out of the SC school system this year.

Their teachers have always been great; and most of them have been conservative. I believe in my part of the state (James Clyburn territory), it's primarily the administrators who force our local teachers to do things that brainwash our kids. So when they held a mock election in '08 and came home with: "I voted for BHO" stickers, I decided I would change my life around so I could home school.

Both were told similar things in school.
BUT!
They know, BGs carrying guns is the "exact" reason why dad & mom CC.
 
#34 ·
consider the possibility that your son is asking an altogether different question. He may be more worried about you being hurt (?by bad guys?) than he is about guns per se. I'd suggest that you continue to talk to him about this after a bit of time has passed and see if he is still uncomfortable. Stressing some of the points about background check, etc. couldn't hurt either but he may have some issues that he can't articulate and might still worry about.
 
#35 ·
Words are what we use to communicate with and teachers teach our children using these "words" in a manner that gives them meaning. Sneaky does not necessarily have to be a word associated with "bad". Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy are two of the sneakest people I know.
 
#47 ·
More important then where you kid attends, is teaching you kid to think for himself. A lot of people out there just accept what they where told by teacher, parent, religious leader, politician, ect. I think that’s your real quest
+1 to that!
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top