To tell or not to tell

This is a discussion on To tell or not to tell within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I think it's actually fairly rare, I've heard of it in other states, but few. Certainly not here in Utah....

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Thread: To tell or not to tell

  1. #46
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    Array sigmanluke's Avatar
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    I think it's actually fairly rare, I've heard of it in other states, but few. Certainly not here in Utah.
    "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."
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  3. #47
    VIP Member Array TedBeau's Avatar
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    I think the problem with telling friends that you carry is sometimes for whatever reason friendships end badly. Why give someone information that you might want to keep private from the world. If they get mad enough at you they could blurt it out in anger to someone, like maybe your boss!

  4. #48
    Senior Member Array Tala's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TedBeau View Post
    I think the problem with telling friends that you carry is sometimes for whatever reason friendships end badly. Why give someone information that you might want to keep private from the world. If they get mad enough at you they could blurt it out in anger to someone, like maybe your boss!
    +1

    Been there, done that, got the Tshirt and police reports to prove it.

    Actually, I think that one was ALSO hubby's doings (and myself ignoring my instincts) toldja he couldn't hold water. Maybe on the divorce papers I'll put "he keeps blabbing about my CHL" as one of the reasons
    I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them. -- John Wayne as John B. Books in "The Shootist"

  5. #49
    Senior Member Array EvilMonk's Avatar
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    I've always considered it a little dishonest to not tell one's friends.

    Okay, maybe dishonest is too strong a word, but I never felt right carrying concealed around them without alerting them to the matter. They're my friends and I trust them (or they wouldn't be my friends...). I don't even place hard-line belief in "Concealed means Concealed" when I'm out among the general populous. I'll wear a cover shirt, but I don't really care who sees it (I love KY). I have my license, I obey the laws, and I'm just there to conduct my business and/or pleasure.

    Besides, my friends are all fairly bright bulbs and I'd like their tactical observations/decisions to be properly tempered with the right facts (like I'm always carrying), and they have expressed to me the relief they feel after a "questionable event" just knowing that someone is there who has a gun (yes, I've told them that they too can enjoy the novelty that is responsible gun ownership and carrying...). We don't go looking for trouble anymore than any of you, but it helps to know your options and assets in a SHTF-type of situation.

    Just an opinion.

    I know. Mine stinks too...
    That which does not kill us leaves us broken and bleeding...

    Donít mess with the guy who can barely stand up. His remaining options for self-defense don't include your survival.

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  6. #50
    VIP Member Array 9MMare's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EvilMonk View Post
    I've always considered it a little dishonest to not tell one's friends.

    Okay, maybe dishonest is too strong a word, but I never felt right carrying concealed around them without alerting them to the matter.
    I know. Mine stinks too...
    I'm not knocking your opinion on this, but I just dont get it. To feel that it's dishonest implies that you are doing something wrong. Do you feel that you are?

    To me, it's like your First Amendment or other rights...they are (should be) just there. I dont feel that I am being dishonest with my friends when I withhold certain political or religious or other opinions. In some cases there is no point and/or I know that there would be no agreement anyway. However most of those things dont affect the friendships. (Just an example).

    If I already knew a friend was deadset against guns, I would probably consider their feelings on it. But otherwise, probably not. It's my right, just like my right to my opinions. (However sharing those opinions...again...at my discretion).
    Fortune favors the bold.

    Freedom doesn't mean safe, it means free.

    The thing about "defense" is that it has practically nothing to do with guns. (As passed on by CCW9MM)

  7. #51
    VIP Member Array JoJoGunn's Avatar
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    I have and have not told people that I possess a Concealed Pistol/Revolver License in the state of West Virginia and actually carry a handgun in a concealed fashion where legal to do so. I am very selective of who I wish to know. Kind of depends on the person and situation at the time.

    The good and bad thing where I work : (A) my boss is a former Police Chief, and County Sheriff so needless to say he is pro carry. (B) I just can't carry at work due to regulations prohibiting it.

    I have also discovered others who have permits and carry that I never thought would be ones who would do so. I would not have found out if I didn't ask and then have them tell. Yet, understanding what happend to Thumper could indeed happen to any one of us. It's just a very tricky situation that deserves the utmost in caution.
    "A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"

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  8. #52
    Senior Member Array GlockJS's Avatar
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    Always carry. Never tell.
    Glock 26 9mm, Ruger LCR .357mag

    "Protect yourself at all times."

    "Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."-Clint Smith

  9. #53
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    You can display good stewardship of a weapon and being a responsible gun owner without announcing that you carry. If you advertise even to a select few, it's going to get out. That's human nature.
    "I dislike death, however, there are some things I dislike more than death. Therefore, there are times when I will not avoid danger" Mencius"

  10. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by adclose View Post
    Ok, so here is my deal, I'm kind of conflicted on this issue. I carry, and my wife and kids are all very aware of it, and all know not to tell others, and if they want to ask about it in public, to use the code word. Where I struggle is with some of the people I am friends with, and work with. Because, I want to encourage responsible gun ownership. I am very careful who and how I tell. But have found that most of the time I when approached carefully the subject, it is a none issue. That said, most of the time I never say that I am carrying, just that I have a license. So what is the balance between, tactical advantage, not "scaring the sheep", but sharing with people, and showing people that most gun owners are responsible, normal people?
    me? CANT (Carry Always but Never Tell)
    A CCW is like a parachute; if you need one, and don't have one, you'll probably never need one again.

  11. #55
    Senior Member Array EvilMonk's Avatar
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    9MMare: I don't have many friends. I'm...selective. Yeah, that's it.

    The ones I do have are outstanding examples of humanity and quite intelligent. We can disagree on almost every subject in politics but come away with a mutual understanding and respect. I'm not sure how we do it, but there it is. My point is that my friends are really friends. Not mere aquaintences or known quantities, but people that I'd trust with my life (even if they are liberal as all get out). I wear my weapons openly in their house and I've never received anything but the warmest welcome from them. Prior to my CCDW license, I discussed this lifestyle change with them and asked their permission to bring a loaded weapon into their home. They said yes without hesitation.

    If I had just gone about my days of going to their house and not telling them that I was bringing such a thing into their home without even so much as an announcement, it would have damaged (perhaps not catastrophically) our friendship when they found out. Obviously, I believe too much in Murphy and his law degree to think for one second that I could keep it concealed from them forever. Concealed is Concealed is a great ideal, but we have all had our moments of "oops" and "d'oh" that tell us we're only human. Fecal Material Occurs. Isn't that why we carry in the first place? How then can we arrogantly assume that we can control every last aspect of our carrying experience?

    I guess I'd just feel like an a$$ if I got caught by my friend carrying in their house without telling them. Face it now or face it later.

    Again, I know my opinion smells to high heaven, but there it is.
    That which does not kill us leaves us broken and bleeding...

    Donít mess with the guy who can barely stand up. His remaining options for self-defense don't include your survival.

    Convenire Volui Spectatus

  12. #56
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    Who, me ? Carry?

  13. #57
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    Great conversation...at first I thought it was to "tell or not tell" law enforcement during a traffic stop. That's why I entered this dicussion...mainly because I had contacted the VA State Police via email after spending time on their website (to no avail) looking for information to ask them the question of "What is the recommended procedure to follow when stopped by an officer when carrying a concealed handgun or having a handgun in the vehicle?"

    While waiting for their response, I discovered that, no, in VA you are not required to tell the officer that you are a CCP holder and have a handgun in the car.

    When I did get a response from the VA State Police a few hours later, I was actually kind of disturbed by the information...here was their response:

    The following is suggested:

    Once you are fully stopped, roll down your window, place both hands on the steering wheel, and wait for the officer to ask for your operator's license and registration before attempting to retrieve the documents. Once you have a permit, it is suggested that you advise the officer that you are in possession of a concealed handgun permit before you give your documents to him or her. The officer should advise you to continue to retrieve your documents. You should tell the officer where the handgun is located and not make any furtive movement to retrieve the firearm.

    Virginia Code Section 18.2-308 governs concealed handgun permits. While this section does not require you to notify the officer that you have a permit, it does require you to present the permit to the law enforcement officer upon demand. Additionally, per statute, the State Police shall enter the permittee's name and description in the Virginia Criminal Information Network so that the permit's existence and current status is made known to law-enforcement personnel accessing the Network.

    I trust this information will be of assistance to you.


    Getting my information loaded into the "Virginia Criminal Information Network" sounds rather sinister to me...has anyone else here experienced this?

  14. #58
    VIP Member Array Gene83's Avatar
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    I have a couple of friends and family members that know I have a carry permit. I told them I got one because it made it easier to carry firearms in a vehicle to the range, which is true. You don't have to worry about having the guns and ammunition in separate compartments within the vehicle. Nobody knows that I actually carry other than all of you.
    "The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come." ~ Confucius

  15. #59
    Member Array roalho's Avatar
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    Loose lips sink ships.

  16. #60
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    I agree it's better if no one but those closest to you know your carrying. This is also a good way to make sure your CC protocol is up to snuff.

    Some people are just skittish around firearms. And are ignorant of the law.

    The only exceptions I can think about is the requirement to inform law enforcement, and if entering a some else's private residence.

    In my state it's a violation to fail to do either.

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