To tell or not to tell

This is a discussion on To tell or not to tell within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Ok, so here is my deal, I'm kind of conflicted on this issue. I carry, and my wife and kids are all very aware of ...

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    Member Array adclose's Avatar
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    To tell or not to tell

    Ok, so here is my deal, I'm kind of conflicted on this issue. I carry, and my wife and kids are all very aware of it, and all know not to tell others, and if they want to ask about it in public, to use the code word. Where I struggle is with some of the people I am friends with, and work with. Because, I want to encourage responsible gun ownership. I am very careful who and how I tell. But have found that most of the time I when approached carefully the subject, it is a none issue. That said, most of the time I never say that I am carrying, just that I have a license. So what is the balance between, tactical advantage, not "scaring the sheep", but sharing with people, and showing people that most gun owners are responsible, normal people?
    G20 / G29

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  3. #2
    VIP Member Array rammerjammer's Avatar
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    Keep it concealed and others really don't need to know. There are more advantages to nobody knowing except your family than letting other people in on it.

    Concealed means concealed.

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    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
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    A vast majority of my close friends also carry and we all go shooting together. With people you don't know as well, you have to tread lightly and carefully. Each situation is different and you have to read the person and subject matter of the conversation. I've had all positive experiences talking about it with one exception when a girl pulled a Fred Sanford holding her chest act. By the end of the conversation, she had her feet back on the ground and was talking about shooting a 22 with her boyfriend. It ended ok, but it was a little iffy for a bit.

    Note: I have to know the person somewhat before I'd say anything. I have converted a number of people that I know and/or work with so it can be a great opportunity to educate.
    Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
    No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.


    Guns are like sex and air...its no big deal until YOU can't get any.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BugDude View Post
    A vast majority of my close friends also carry and we all go shooting together. With people you don't know as well, you have to tread lightly and carefully. Each situation is different and you have to read the person and subject matter of the conversation. I've had all positive experiences talking about it with one exception when a girl pulled a Fred Sanford holding her chest act. By the end of the conversation, she had her feet back on the ground and was talking about shooting a 22 with her boyfriend. It ended ok, but it was a little iffy for a bit.

    Note: I have to know the person somewhat before I'd say anything. I have converted a number of people that I know and/or work with so it can be a great opportunity to educate.

    I had the opportunity to convert someone a while back, from,"I don't own a gun, to "my son almost stepped on a mountain lion on vacation", to "I bought a gun", to "me and my sons go to the range a couple of times a month now"
    G20 / G29

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    Senior Member Array Bubbiesdad's Avatar
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    Don't ask, don't tell
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    Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.
    Richard M Nixon
    Owning a handgun doesn't make you armed any more than owning a guitar makes you a musician.
    Jeff Cooper

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    Member Array KSCarry's Avatar
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    Outside of my wife, and my father, there are only two or three really close friends who know that I carry. And we all go shooting together. You are probably in the best position to decide who to tell, but my best piece of advice is to tell as few people as possible. First you just never know how people react. Second, if a situation does arise people will act differently if they know you have a gun. It's best that it's a surprise for everyone involved in my opinion

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    Member Array Griffworks's Avatar
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    My advice if you're so concerned on the issue: Get a read on folks before you tell them you carry. Just mention you like to go shoot every so often and let the conversation flow from there. You'll get a vibe one way or the other on whether to tell them more.

    Me, I've made several friends because of both letting it be known that I shoot every so often, as well as let a couple of acquaintances and co-workers know that I have my CHCL. I've gained several shooting buddies as well as gotten them involved enough to get started saving for a firearm (if they didn't already have one) and/or to set aside the funds for the CHCL class and license. Wouldn't've happened if I kept the "concealed means concealed" mantra running thru my head like a mindless automation.

    I'm not advocating wearing a t-shirt saying "I have a gun and know how to use it!", just that I'd never convert folks to a more active 2A mindset if I didn't take a chance once in a while....
    Arkansas Concealed Carry Instructor #12-751

    If guns kill people, then:
    Pincels miss spel werds;
    Cars make people drive drunk;
    And spoons made Rosie O'Donnel fat.

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    Distinguished Member Array tcox4freedom's Avatar
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    I'm fairly open with people I know. My wife and I have seen several AG turn PG in the last two years. The fact that I carry has never been an issue to anyone; even with my friends who do not like firearms.

    However, I "DO" keep quiet around people I do NOT know. But, I always try to find a way to make a "convert". (Whether it's a convert for Christ; or for guns) The "only" way you can convert people is by talking to them.


    As to losing "tactical" advantage. I think nobody but, the criminal has a "tactical" advantage. (He's the only one who knows if you will be selected as a victim.) But, that discussion has been hashed and re-hashed over & over again; and that discussion belongs in another thread.
    DirkD likes this.

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    Talk with them about them about the AR15 you are carrying over your shoulder first. That way they won't freak out when they find out you have "just a little gun or two" in your pants.
    We're all in favor of reducing violent crime. It's just that pro-gunners have a method that is proven effective. Anti-gunners don't.
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    RKM
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    Basically everybody I know knows I carry. I don't say anything unless they ask.

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    I can only tell you that at one time I thought is was silly to keep it secret. I was open and encouraged others to get their permit too. I would share with anyone who wanted to know.

    It's too long of a story to tell here but to my shock, suddenly one afternoon my openness almost cost me my job, though I never carried at work. My mental competence and stability were also brought in to question. Additionally, I would have lost my retirement. It put serious strain on a couple relationships and deeply hurt my family financially. I ended up taking an early retirement that I'm too young to access without penalty and now work for 1/2 the pay I used to get. My permit was also threatened because of their lies. Oh yes, there are some powerful people who hate you having guns!

    I adopted my signature because of this experience and I will NEVER tell again! (Except where required by law)

    I never imagined the hell someone else could create for you because they know you carry a gun.
    charski and Bark'n like this.
    ALWAYS carry! - NEVER tell!

    "A superior Operator is best defined as someone who uses his superior
    judgement to keep himself out of situations that would require a display of his
    superior skills."

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    Ex Member Array EB31's Avatar
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    I'm fairly open about carrying. I've made it known that I've no time nor desire to play spy games or cloak and dagger. I carry. It's on my hip. If you see it, you see it. If you don't, you don't. I may have my shirt tucked in...like today ...or might shirt might cover it but print like crazy. I might have a jacket on, I might not.

    I field questions responsibly if they are asked. If it's someone I know I usually offer to go to the range with them. The more non chalant (sp?) I am about it...the easier it is for other to accept.

  14. #13
    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    My immediate family knows... but not the rest of my family. That's as far as it goes, it's no one else's business.
    I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. --- Will Rogers ---
    Chief Justice John Roberts : "I don't see how you can read Heller and not take away from it the notion that the Second Amendment...was extremely important to the framers in their view of what liberty meant."

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    VIP Member Array chiefjason's Avatar
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    My carrying is concealed, not top secret. I have talked to plenty of folks about it. Though I'm not making myself out to be a mind reader, if I am having a decent conversation with someone I know a little bit I'm not concerned that it will affect any "tactical advantage" I might have. I don't expect to need my firearm against the people I would talk about it with. And I OC regularly too.
    I prefer to live dangerously free than safely caged!

    "Our houses are protected by the good Lord and a gun. And you might meet 'em both if you show up here not welcome son." Josh Thompson "Way Out Here"

  16. #15
    Distinguished Member Array INccwchris's Avatar
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    i carry concealed and openly, if you're legal, who cares if your friends and family know?
    "The value you put on the lost will be determined by the sacrifice you are willing to make to seek them until they are found."

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