My Girlfriend and Guns

This is a discussion on My Girlfriend and Guns within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I recently starting dating a very nice young lady and we recently had a conversation about guns and obtaining her CPL. My question is how ...

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Thread: My Girlfriend and Guns

  1. #1
    Distinguished Member Array skysoldier29's Avatar
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    My Girlfriend and Guns

    I recently starting dating a very nice young lady and we recently had a conversation about guns and obtaining her CPL. My question is how should I best go about helping her reach her goal of getting her license which isn't hard at all in Florida, but more importantly helping her get to where she needs to be using firearms as a self defense tool? We are going to hit the range tomorrow with a few of my 9mms to get her some trigger time to ensure that she can handle recoil and likes shooting. I'm just looking for advice on how to get her to where she needs to be so she can defend herself with her chosen weapon if she ever needs to because I'm really don't know where to start with all of this with a woman.

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    Member Array tbmccord's Avatar
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    ...really don't know where to start with all of this with a woman.
    Have her take professional instruction. I have seen some good relationships go to heck in a hand basket over arguments on how to defend with firearms.
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    Distinguished Member Array skysoldier29's Avatar
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    Professional training was the one thing I really harped on that she would need. I'm not the best teacher in the world, and I want her to go beyond just the CPL course and progress with the training to so she can build confidence in how to use a firearm as part of an overall defense plan.

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    Distinguished Member Array Agave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tbmccord View Post
    Have her take professional instruction.
    Yup. I teach a bunch of classes. The absolute worst of my students are wives that have husband training.
    The preceding post may contain sarcasm; it's just better that way. However, it is still intended with construction and with the Love of my L-rd Y'shua.

    NRA Certified Pistol Instructor, Tennessee Certified Instructor

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    My advice is to enable and encourage. I agree that she should take classes elsewhere, not with you. And please, when she comes home from class and burbles over about things, DON'T try to reteach a skill or concept or say that the teacher was crap or take over and correct every little thing that she learned that is not exactly the way you see it unless of course there is a major misunderstanding that affects safety.

    The best thing for me is to hobby together with guns and the husband. But once she gets her cc piece, it is her own serious business and don't mess with it. I'll never forget the time I had just cleaned and test fired my Glock 19, then the hubby asked me for it, and proceeded to unload it, and break it down to show someone how easy it was to take apart. whaaaaaaaatt? Now I had a self defense gun that was not tested after breaking it down. It just irritated the crap out of me.

    OK, off the soapbox. Had to vent, but I hope you get the general drift.

    ps. teach her how to clean her carry gun, help her to put together a kit, but have her do it. that's really my biggest piece of advice. she won't like it at first, but it's the only real way to get personal and proficient with the firearm imho.

    pss. how about a gift cert from your favorite gun shop?

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    Ex Member Array BikerRN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tbmccord View Post
    Have her take professional instruction. I have seen some good relationships go to heck in a hand basket over arguments on how to defend with firearms.
    Without reading further in this thread I can already state that the answer provided is correct and one to be heeded.

    Biker

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    VIP Member Array PAcanis's Avatar
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    I wouldn't start her off on your 9mm's, regardless if you seek professional training or not. That would be like handing a ten year old a 12 ga. First you need to make shooting fun for her. And that screams something in a smaller caliber. Well, for most girls anyway ;^) And I would stick to safety instruction and basic handling. When she gets a decent grasp on that, then send her to a course.

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    Senior Member Array mastercapt's Avatar
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    I agree with the using a professional instructor.
    First of all, some people do not take contructive criticism from a family member or such very well and the pi$$ing matches begin.
    I am a licensed Captain and teach boating operation and safety. If a woman wants instruction, I ask to leave the husband at home for at least the first session. Now that the basics are understood, then the husband will be more apt to learn them, iven if they are different from what he thought.
    Husbands yell and overly criticise; I instruct.
    Have an interesting one a few years back. They arrived with thier own boat. Husband said "Its her boat, teach her".
    He stayed out of the way reading a book. She did very well in learning the operation.

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    Distinguished Member Array Spec's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skysoldier29 View Post
    Professional training was the one thing I really harped on that she would need. I'm not the best teacher in the world, and I want her to go beyond just the CPL course and progress with the training to so she can build confidence in how to use a firearm as part of an overall defense plan.
    Here is the thing. SHE has to want to. You can't make someone become comfortable with shooting, carrying, or the mindset to use a gun against another person. That is something that your girlfriend and ONLY your girlfriend can decide for herself.

    I echo the others IF and ONLY if she decides to take it upon herself to seek professional instruction. Of course I would say it is perfectly ok for you to introduce her to shooting, get her somewhat familiar with the basics, so she doesn't feel total weird going into the class.

    I also say DO NOT RUSH her into a class tell her, when you feel comfortable let me know and we will sign you up. Baby steps... start with her own, glasses, ear muffs, etc. so she has her own stuff, and feel more at ease.. Anything that will put the score in your favor the better.
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    VIP Member Array jwhite75's Avatar
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    The female aspect of handguns and SD is really blowing up. My small indoor range in the next town is even teaching a ladies course. In FL you should have no problem finding a decent one. Go to your local gun shop(s) and ask around. My wife is a WV country girl with a good bit of knowledge about guns from hunting. I handed her my p228 and gave her a basic lesson and understandign of sight picture and trigger control and let her go. She was a better shot than all of her CCW class, men included. her instructor is a seasoned LEO, instructor and competitive shooter. He was really impressed with her natural abilities. I would not "teach" her any more than I have without having a professional doing the teaching.
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    VIP Member Array shockwave's Avatar
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    Another vote here for "professional training." Only thing I'd do personally is teach the rules of safety and safe handling. And keep that real short and basic.
    "It may seem difficult at first, but everything is difficult at first."

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    Great advice in having her take a separate professional training class, and just FYI most woman after training and range time tend to shoot very well. If you stick with post 5 you'll be fine, good luck with your new lady friend.
    No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. -- Thomas Jefferson

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    Senior Member Array stevem174's Avatar
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    Start her off with a .22. Give her the safety rules and let her shoot. Only correct her if she violates a safety rule. Buy her professional training for Christmas.
    Don't do things you don't want to explain to the Paramedics!

    Stupidity should be painful.

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    VIP Member Array Thanis's Avatar
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    I suggest keeping your opinions on firearms limited, but stress the basics and safety to the limited of your own ability to teach. Then late, consider more advanced courses. It was hard for me to do, but it worked out well. Now my wife and I banter about firearms like equals. She as guilty of I as spending time looking through gun mags or ads pointing out some firearm.

    My wife now likes firearms, owns a few I don't care for, and frankly she does not like most of mine. So that is my advise, don't go in showing off, or shooting a 44 mag, etc. I guess a 9mm from a standard size firearm is a good start. I really suggest a .22. Just get the basics, and let her want to advance to something more SD ready. When it comes to firearms, focus on the positives, even if the firearm is not for you. Like most gun owners, you make a purchase or two that later you don't like. Just part of the process.


    Quote Originally Posted by Agave View Post
    Yup. I teach a bunch of classes. The absolute worst of my students are wives that have husband training.
    A week ago, I might have had some come back to this, far more agressive.

    I was at the range, and a husband and wife were comming as I was going. Before I left I wanted to look at a 2" .357 revolver. As it happens, this couple beat me to the counter. They were in their late 40s to 50s, and were looking at the store's 2" .357 (the rental). The husband stated to the wife, something like, "...before you wave that thing around, always check to make sure it is unloaded." He checked, then began to actually wave around the firearm in various directions. he gave his wife the gun, and she began to also wave the pistol about while also dry firing. He then said "See, nothing to be worried about when it is unloaded."

    I don't know what the sales person was thinking (he is new), but he then stated, "Ya nothing to worry about if unloaded, just don't dry fire it to many times, it is bad for the gun." Then began to pile gun after gun on the counter, and the woman and man began pushing them around like retail merchandise. Then the clerk / salesperson said (something like), "Ya a buddy of mine was in town and we were going to Detroit. I had him slip something like this (a revolver) in his pants, he was like, I don't know, I don't have a permit, and I was like whatever, you need to be armed in Detroit."

    There was pause in the conversation after that, so I asked to look at the 2inch revolver, and the woman grabbed the revolver with finger on the trigger, and hand it to me. I shared with her that you should never put your finger on the trigger of a firearm, loaded or unloaded, unless you intended to do something harm, or were doing maintenance to the fiream. Then man began to to say something like, "it is unloaeed" when the salesperson stated I was sharing one of the very basic rules of gun safety.

    At just about this moment, the other couple arrive, and the one that was the pro grabbed a revolver and held it by the handel, way at the botton (it was just a wierd way to hold a revolver) and began to act like he was firing it with this grip, showing his wife.

    These were all upper middle to lower upper people, middle aged, and it was crazy. My brother, my wife, could not believe what we were seeing. My brother asked one of the co-owners (privately) who came in 1/2 into the situation it this was a prank. The co-owner stated no, it was common toward the end of the night on saturdays.

    So to sum up, I can imagine there must be some, or several, situations, where the husband is a problem.
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  16. #15
    Senior Member Array Devilsclaw's Avatar
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    Maybe you go along for training too. Might be a good idea, when we went, one of the instructors kept hitting on my wife, and he was from FL BTW! He actually ask "us" out for dinner, but it was obvious, he meant her! I just kept thinking, he's got some nerve, I'm standing 25 feet away with a loaded gun!

    The only thing I can offer, is make sure NOT to burn her out. She might not be as Gung Ho on firearms as you......take your time and go slow. My wife likes it, but I have to make sure it comes in small doses.

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