"Diminshed" abilities (jumbled brain)= no carry

This is a discussion on "Diminshed" abilities (jumbled brain)= no carry within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Ok, heres a scenario i'm living. Just found out over the july 4th weekend that my wife has decided to leave me. been married for ...

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Thread: "Diminshed" abilities (jumbled brain)= no carry

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array SOLOLUCKY's Avatar
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    "Diminshed" abilities (jumbled brain)= no carry

    Ok, heres a scenario i'm living.
    Just found out over the july 4th weekend that my wife has decided to leave me. been married for 18 years now, last 2+ been kinda rough but nothing to this extent. so i have been taken completely off guard by this. then mix my 4 yr old son into it..god.

    now for "my" scenario.
    i have really reduced the time i carry to almost to "0". its only been a week, i know, since i found all this out, but with a lack of concentration/attention to detail on my part, as my brain has been a hurricane of thoughts/confusion, i just cant' "trust" myself with a loaded gun. my thoughts are completely jumbled even though gun handling is almost a second nature to me. too costly to mess up/have accident with a gun.
    Just one of my recent carry issues that has arose for me, makes being "made" for me seem pale.

    How many of you have rethought a "to carry" decision on account of a 'foggy' brain?

    (and a lighter note & to pile insult to injury i am expecting delivery of my Maxcon V and mag pouch in a few weeks!!)

    (and to Eric L., i feel for ya buddy, i read your post and all the responses from back in June and it is killing me)
    R1

    This is mine. That is yours.

    Lets keep it that way.

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  3. #2
    VIP Member Array Bud White's Avatar
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    These kind of thing's i don't Like to talk about been there Done this I will say i put the gun up for a whole week i think then was back to carrying only time i was seeing x was in court so couldn't carry there anyways .. But i will wish you the best

  4. #3
    Member Array VTLO910's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear that bud... Your making a good decision NOT carrying... I wish you well with managing yourself... I'm sure there will be plenty of us in here if you need to get you mind off it or just need to vent...
    ::: NRA Law Enforcement Firearms Instructor, Military Veteran, Public Safety Professional :::

  5. #4
    Senior Member Array AirForceShooter's Avatar
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    Good for you.
    Now wait a little and things will get into a "normal" state for your brain.

    AFS
    Gun control is hitting what you aim at

  6. #5
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    Bad state of affairs and I can identify with your mental turmoil.

    I think for any one person in this situation - you have to make the decisions you feel best - meaning, none of us can categorically say ''cease carry'' or ''continue carry'' - it has to be down to how responsible and stable you feel.

    Chances are on balance it is wise to not carry while in a highly charged emotional state but then OTOH are you perhaps also less aware and so more vulnerable.

    I think your conscience has to be the judge on this and hope this degree of upheaval will not be too long sustained.
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  7. #6
    VIP Member Array Ti Carry's Avatar
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    I think you are doing the right thing by putting the piece down for a bit. I would however continue to carry the knife and whatever else you carry with you though.

    I haven't been married for 18 years nor have I ever gotten married so far. But I would bet that things are extremly tough right now. Just hang in there and do the best you can, keep your head up and try to stay in good spirits to help with this and for your son.


    Ti.
    Train and train hard, you might not get a second chance to make a first impression!

    I vote for Monica Lewinsky's Ex-Boyfriend's Wife for President.....Not!

  8. #7
    Member Array Benjaminm0110's Avatar
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    I'm sorry to hear that solo, i bet we'd all be surprised how many of us can sympathize with your situation. I agree with P95, not a good idea to carry when your in such a highly charged emotional state. But like he said, dont allow that to make you more succeptable to an attack. Personally, carrying gives me a sense of sercurity and calmness. Maybe try it out now and see how you feel before completely deciding not to carry.....

  9. #8
    Distinguished Member Array randytulsa2's Avatar
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    My heart goes out to you. My ex divorced me about 6 years ago. We are each better off for it, but even under the best of conditions, a split is gut-wrenching and anguishing.

    As for the carry/no-carry issue, man, that's up to you. Yes, I think emotional distress is a good and valid reason for choosing not to carry.

    Do what feels right to YOU. If you have a question about your capabilities, lay off until it feels right again, TO YOU. If you're OK with carrying, or feel your capabilities are not compromised, continue. Only you can decide.

    FWIW, it sounds like you are employing excellent judgment during this very bad time in your life.

    Get some counselling, too, and see that your boy gets it. Thankfully, he may not be old enough for it really get to him.

  10. #9
    Senior Member Array SOLOLUCKY's Avatar
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    i'd hafta say it does make me more "vulnerable" and i'm gonna have to get back the mental state of alertness i had only 10 days ago.
    i have found myself noticing my own lack of situational awareness and begin to look around more. noticing things.

    once i calm my brain a bit and i am sure i won't have any lapses in judgements (ie, cocking, not locking, then holstering my 1911) then carry will resume. its not far away, i hope, just a few days/weeks and my brain will return to a state of "new" normal.

    i know many have gone before me down this road...yet i thought i would never pass down it myself.

    sorry..i am off topic of this forum, but i appreciate the support.
    R1

    This is mine. That is yours.

    Lets keep it that way.

  11. #10
    VIP Member Array Old Chief's Avatar
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    You have made a good decision. One of my favorite quotations is "And it came to pass..." Most things do and they get better.

  12. #11
    Member Array gunjunky's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear about your situation. I wish there were words that I could give to console. But somtimes when people try the words just sound cheap. So for I agree with the rest of the posters. Stress, despair and anger all mixed can do funny things to a person. It can make you do things you would never do otherwise. I'll be praying for you.

  13. #12
    Member Array scmed's Avatar
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    Hang in there Solo. You are your best judge of when you think you are ready to carry again. Looks like you have a lot of support on this board and hopefully from your family.

  14. #13
    Distinguished Member Array p8riot's Avatar
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    Best to keep a cool head and in your case refrain from carrying for a while as you are doing.

    Another thing to think about is to be as amiable as possible so things will go as well as possible( under these extremely difficult circumstances) and so she doesn't slap you with a restraining order.

    My ex left me (after nine yrs of marriage) while I was on a 7 month Mediterranean deployment in 1985/1986. It was a hard time, but I survived, my oldest son (only child from that marriage) was 7 at the time, but he and I are closer now than before the divorce. If nothing else keep in touch with your son, you'll regret it if you don't.

    I remarried back in 1992, and after trying for a while we now have a 4 yr old son as you do (and we want another). I'll be 50 in September, so it is never too late to start again.
    "You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone." - Al Capone

    The second amendment is the reset button of our Constitution.

  15. #14
    VIP Member Array ELCruisr's Avatar
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    Solo, I feel for you man. My first wife left me at one year with another guy and then shows up weeks later with boyfriend while I'm putting the finishing touches on the cleaning job on my Dan Wesson .357. I did manage a hurculean internal moral struggle that day. I'm glad you have the sense to know when to put something down for a short time in a situation like this. Having a child in the middle is even harder. I don't want to sound shallow but no matter how it comes out you will get it all straight again. Just keep your head on straight and hang in there. I tell myself that all the time on the worst days with my situation as well. Pray hard, look up and we'll pray for you too.

    Eric
    If you stand up and be counted, from time to time you may get yourself knocked down. But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can get up again. A man flattened by conformity stays down for good. ~ Thomas J. Watson, Jr.

  16. #15
    Distinguished Member Array fotomaker57's Avatar
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    I feel you are making a good decision trusting your instincts by not carrying. You will no when the time is right to strap on the leather again. Hang tough, and keep a cool head through all of this.
    Mike
    The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.
    Thomas Jefferson

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