CCW dating

This is a discussion on CCW dating within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I wanted to start a discussion where people could share there experiences on CCW and dating. I have some conflicting opinions on this subject. For ...

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  1. #1
    Member Array sentioch's Avatar
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    CCW dating

    I wanted to start a discussion where people could share there experiences on CCW and dating.

    I have some conflicting opinions on this subject. For starters, I think that dating is an increased risk scenario because attractive women are prime targets for scum bags, even more so if they have made themselves pretty for a date.

    I have noticed that I am approached by scum bags much more frequently while on a date with a pretty girl in the city. I don't enjoy being approached by strange men while alone with my date in the parking lot or whatever, and this has happened to me on numerous occasions. A man has a duty to protect the woman he is with so I feel that for this reason it is an important time to carry.

    In the country this is a less common occurrence but perhaps even more serious when it does happen. I have seen a lot of "I shouldnt be alive" sorts of TV shows and a lot of them start with an innocent couple going for a walk in the woods and being approached by a strange man who pulls a gun and wants some special favors. A friend of a friend of mine was once camping with his girlfriend when they saw the shadow of a man come up against the tent and he started firing bullets at them. This sort of story is not the sort of thing I want to happen to me and I do often like to go on dates out alone in the woods.

    On the other hand, it is not the easiest time to conceal. Especially if things become physical or progress in a "positive" way so to speak, and a lot of women are very put off by guns. It is easier to explain or justify to someone you have been with for a while rather than a fresh date and so for this reason I am worried that CCW early on might lead to a premature ending to what could have otherwise progressed into a fruitful relationship.

    Please share your experiences...either positive or negative
    "In a world of compromise, some don't." -HK

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    Distinguished Member Array Ghettokracker71's Avatar
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    The last first date I ever had, we were walking along the James River and the young lady placed her arm around my hip, and her hand landed perfectly on my XD40SC sitting IWB
    .

































    ...,... she smiled and said "I found your gun", and that was that,...

    ....We will celebrate our 2 year wedding anniversary in September No worries for me!

    I might suggest pocket carrying if you have the means to do so until you get to know them better, you can always slip your pants off without emptying the pocket (just saying!) and less likelihood of what happened to me, occuring.
    Ransom, johnmed3, sensei2 and 2 others like this.


    "To blame a gun for a mans decision is to foolishly attribute free will to an inanimate object"- Colion Noir.

  4. #3
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    I usually downgrade my carry weapon for dates, I will go from my full sized 1911, to a j-frame, just because it is easier to dress around, and a little harder to find with a hug or some such occurrence. Pocket carrying a J-frame works well.

    Also, it plays into my hand that I am in the Marines, because I think it is kind of expected for me to at least own guns, or be into them.

    But even back in college, I would try to make it so one of the first 3 dates was a trip to the shooting range. Simply enough, if a woman can't be around guns, she isn't going to be around me, and it gives you a feel for her views on guns and comfort levels around them.
    Chesafreak likes this.
    Fortes Fortuna Juvat

    Former, USMC 0311, OIF/OEF vet
    NRA Pistol/Rifle/Shotgun/Reloading Instructor, RSO, Ohio CHL Instructor

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    It is a question of priorities. What is more important? First date nookie or your life? I always plan for the long term (but then again I'm older). I'd pick safety over nookie.
    Mark Twain:
    The government is merely a servant -- merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a
    patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.

  6. #5
    Member Array sentioch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by atctimmy View Post
    It is a question of priorities. What is more important? First date nookie or your life? I always plan for the long term (but then again I'm older). I'd pick safety over nookie.
    Well if the dating works out that can be a pretty long term thing as well...
    I was curious if anyone had any stories of this actually ruining their date
    "In a world of compromise, some don't." -HK

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    I asked this question last year as well. So far I haven't had any negative experiences, but then again one of them was a cop, one had her permit, one wants to get her permit and told me about a local gun shop and the other thought it was a good idea for protection.
    "I got a lot of problems with you people!" - Frank Costanza

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    New Member Array SoBelle's Avatar
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    When my boyfriend and I met, neither of us owned a gun. But he made it clear early on that he planned on owning a small military arsenal. I was a little shocked at first, but I liked him too much to let it bother me a lot. My dad had a bunch of guns when I was really little, so I was familiar with the concept. I just said "Well, if we end up getting married and having kids, every one of 'ems going in a safe." And then he started going on about the awesome gun safe he had planned out. LOL!

    Obviously I eventually came around. I'm a little older than he is, so I'll be carrying before him (he'll probably get his permit later this year. Dad and I are gonna get ours once the weather warms up a little more), but we both plan on carrying regularly. He was as surprised as I was over all that time ago when I told him dad and I were gun shopping. But he then said that he feels a lot better that I'll be able to defend myself when he's not there to do it for me. I can't wait for us to be able to go to the range together. We're both competitive.

    The moral of the story is that if he/she likes you enough, a dislike of guns won't stop a good relationship. But it pays to be honest early on. Carrying is a fairly significant part of one's life.. or at least it seems like it would be. Just my opinion though.

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    I just had a first date with a lady today. We met at the range, shot a little, then proceeded to spend all afternoon getting to know one another, and finally had dinner. It ended in the range parking lot with a hug and peck. No problems regarding carry guns at all.
    "Mind own business"
    "Always cut cards"

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    Member Array Sleipnir's Avatar
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    Well for me it would be helpful if I could get a date first.

    My close friends, parents, and my relatives who carry know that I carry, I've never had anyone have a problem with it.

    I suspect that a relationship that would not allow me to continue my hobby on the principle of the other party would not remain intact.

    As for an actual date, I play the long game and plan far ahead without too much specificity, so therefore I would be armed.

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    Senior Member Array AlexHassin's Avatar
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    I have some limited experience in this field. I only carried when I lived in mass, and I was not very religious about it. I had one Girlfriend at the time, never really asked her what she thought about it.
    The other side of it was I when on a date with a officer from NYPD I know from work. naturally I don’t have a gun or any other weapon on me. but at one point I bumped up against her handgun, I did not expect the subway to decelerate that quickly,. I just said “ owww” and her eyes got wide at being made to which I just shrugged. It never got mentioned again and I personally thought nothing of it. also I’m glad that if we ran into trouble she would have no expectations of bravery from me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sentioch View Post
    Well if the dating works out that can be a pretty long term thing as well...
    I was curious if anyone had any stories of this actually ruining their date
    You missed the point. You don't have to pass up the date, you just don't need to get physical on the first night. You could plan a group thing or meet in a public place so as to preclude you having to say "no" and causing an awkward moment.



    ETA: I was a big time skirt chaser in my youth and it's easy for me to say, after 14 years with my wife, for you to stay armed. When I was young I have to admit that I would have opted for nookie over safety. Maybe leave the gun at home on a first date and go with OC spray.
    Last edited by atctimmy; January 22nd, 2011 at 11:54 PM.
    Mark Twain:
    The government is merely a servant -- merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a
    patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.

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    Member Array moggie6's Avatar
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    I just don't worry about it. If things got physical I have the gift of gab. If you play it cool and speak with confidence she'll listen and drop it. If not move on. My ex and I were out with her family one night and they used to have a problem with my gun. Then someone approached us with a knife. As I reached for my Glock he reconsidered and ran. Never cleared the holster with the gun. All of a sudden no one had any problem with my gun.
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    Senior Member Array scgunlover1's Avatar
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    No problems from any girl that I ever dated or from either of my wives, past or present. So carry and if they don't like it find another.
    SCGunLover1

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    Senior Member Array Devilsclaw's Avatar
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    You are right about the attractive ladies bringing the scumbags and drunks outta the woodwork. I kinda chuckled about your comments, "even more so if they have made themselves pretty for a date", as it would seem a great argument for keeping a frumpy middle-aged gal around! My wife doesn't attract as much of that attention as she used to, but I love her just the same! But....not to be sexist or anything, but it is true--attractive women are on the scumbags' radar more. One of the reasons I try to teach my daughters to be extra careful.

    When I was dating, if it is during the cooler months, I carried a small 5 shot revolver in the inside pocket of my jacket. That way, if you happen to end up back at your place, or hers, you just slip your jacket off, and hang it up. On the occasions where there was an "overnight" stay involved, I would always secure it discretely (while she was in the bathroom) in my overnight bag (yes I had a "black bag" for such occasions) and it was always next to the bed, so that I could keep an eye on it. There were never children around, so that was never an issue.

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    New Member Array Boxerman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ghettokracker71 View Post
    The last first date I ever had, we were walking along the James River and the young lady placed her arm around my hip, and her hand landed perfectly on my XD40SC sitting IWB
    .

































    ...,... she smiled and said "I found your gun", and that was that,...

    ....We will celebrate our 2 year wedding anniversary in September No worries for me!

    I might suggest pocket carrying if you have the means to do so until you get to know them better, you can always slip your pants off without emptying the pocket (just saying!) and less likelihood of what happened to me, occuring.
    James River is a great state park, discovered it last year when a friend of mine and I were on a camping trip and our original destination was filled.

    As for carrying, my fiancee likes the fact that I carry and have SA. I've been trying to get her to apply for a CHP but she keeps putting it off.
    Experience hath shewn, that even under the best forms of government those entrusted with power have, in time, and by slow operations, perverted it into tyranny.

    - Thomas Jefferson

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