Concealed Carry and Kids...how did you approach the situation??

This is a discussion on Concealed Carry and Kids...how did you approach the situation?? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Ok everyone...this is my dilemma. I've got two sons - ages 12 and 15 - who were never raised around guns. I also live with ...

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Thread: Concealed Carry and Kids...how did you approach the situation??

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    Member Array zip777's Avatar
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    Question Concealed Carry and Kids...how did you approach the situation??

    Ok everyone...this is my dilemma. I've got two sons - ages 12 and 15 - who were never raised around guns. I also live with my girlfriend who has an 18 y/o daughter who is special needs...mentally about 10. I've also been divorced about 10 years and I'm sure my ex would have a f'in FIT if she knew I carried a weapon around my sons.

    I am REALLY struggling about how to talk with them...especially my sons. I have started by pointing out all the recent REALLY bad world events...the riots in Egypt etc... I have also told them if things continue to get worse in this country we could very well see this kind of madness in the streets of our country. I'm sure they also hear about robberies etc. in our city. I have already told them that "I will protect you all ALL COSTS". I am trying first to open their eyes to the increasingly ugly world so they first understand WHY I carry.

    But now...I need to tell them. Maybe not that I DO carry but I have the LICENSE to carry. That I have been trained.

    But I'm really concerned about how to approach this. Any advice - especially from folks here who have faced this situation - would be greatly appreciated.

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    Member Array 3rik's Avatar
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    In my opinion a calm, reasonable, and practical approach is best. The old adage, less is more.. I.E. "This is my decision." "Yes, I have thought about it and I have found it reasonable to err on the side of caution." ETC.

    I have no children. But if I did my explanation would be, "No - I do not believe our community will become infested with brain-sucking Zombies. No - I do not believe car-jacking-terrorists-selling-crack live next door and shop at our grocery store. I just think that owning and carrying a gun is just one simple move I can make to further protect our family in the event of an emergency, should that emergency ever take place."

    Fear-based explanations followed by statistics and speculative "facts" tend to ruffle people's feathers. Honestly, I believe that for many if not most of us, owning/carrying a firearm is in a sense NO BIG DEAL. When it comes to others, present it as such and leave it as such.

    Only my own opinion.
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    Member Array zip777's Avatar
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    Very good perspective 3rik. I wasn't trying to incite fear in them but they had the "wow" look on their faces when they saw it. Maybe I shouldn't have taken that approach. I only wanted them to know I have their backs. Good food for thought. Thank you.

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    Be up front with the boys and the 'ex'...she's not going to like it (most 'Ex's dislike anything the other does). You are completely legal, so that can't be a problem if she tries to get you in front of a judge.
    Enroll the boys in a gun/hunter safety course for starters.
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    Distinguished Member Array Anubis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zip777 View Post
    I've got two sons - ages 12 and 15 - who were never raised around guns.
    It could be time to change that. Knowledge is the key; train them in gun safety, take them shooting if possible.

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    Senior Member Array ks kid's Avatar
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    Zip, it sounds like a need for a two prong approach. Continue to show them the bad, and introduce them to the good. In the NRA mags, there is a section called Armed Citizen and it is short stories about people who have used a firearm in self defense. I would also take them to an indoor gun range and play some gun games so they become familiar with firearms in a safe environment. They will put 1 + 1 together on their own.

    Good Luck.

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    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
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    First things first. You said you live with your girlfriend (I'm assuming this means you live in her house). Is SHE ok with it? I would start by having an open and honest conversation about it with her before you do anything. Second, assuming she is cool with it, you need some type of safe to secure your weapon and ammo. Safety is job 1. Then, I would discuss it with your sons in a frank and mature manner. They're young men, and they need to understand your priorities, your motives, and your safety measures. A hunter safety course and sharing resources (range time, etc.) will go a long way towards a healthy regard for firearms. As for the ex, I wouldn't go out of my way to tell her. You're legal, have taken appropriate safety precautions, and have provided proper education.
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    Member Array TVille's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BugDude View Post
    First things first. You said you live with your girlfriend (I'm assuming this means you live in her house). Is SHE ok with it? I would start by having an open and honest conversation about it with her before you do anything. Second, assuming she is cool with it, you need some type of safe to secure your weapon and ammo. Safety is job 1. Then, I would discuss it with your sons in a frank and mature manner. They're young men, and they need to understand your priorities, your motives, and your safety measures. A hunter safety course and sharing resources (range time, etc.) will go a long way towards a healthy regard for firearms. As for the ex, I wouldn't go out of my way to tell her. You're legal, have taken appropriate safety precautions, and have provided proper education.
    Do you keep the guns in a safe, unless you are carrying it? If not, that is the first step. Then follow the good advice offered here.

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    Agreeing with retsupt99 and others, get the boys in a basic NRA course and on the range for fun times. This helps get rid of the mystery and encourages them to be safe and responsible around firearms.

    This was exactly what I did with my 13 year old daughter. When the question came up "Daddy why are you carrying your Ruger all of the time?", my answer of "to be in a position to protect you and your mother if the need arose".

    As for the 18 y/o girl, that is a tough one. Depending on her abilities, it may range from don't touch and use a gun safe to limited instruction. You'll have to make some judgment calls. This will also have to involve GF as the 18 y/o is not yours.

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    Senior Member Array Slim_45's Avatar
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    Well my situation is unlike yours.... our kids are 1 & 4 years old & we've always had firearms, my 4 year old son knows exactly what they are & to NOT touch them!! As soon as they are big enough we will be teaching both how to shoot/safely handle them.....

    The most important ting for anyone with kids is....Have ALL firearms locked away in a safe !!!
    Our 2 edc pistols are locked in a quick access "gun vault" safe & everything else is in our large home safe...Safety is key !!!!
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    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anubis View Post
    It could be time to change that. Knowledge is the key; train them in gun safety, take them shooting if possible.
    There's the big jist of it all right there. Knowledge will remove 'taboos' assoiciated with guns and carrying, knowledge is safety, and knowledge is good.
    You teaching them makes it all the more special and cherished.....and later on when your boys face this question with your grand-babies, They'll have your example and knowledge inparted on them by you to fall back on.
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

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    Member Array adclose's Avatar
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    This is what I did with my kids, which are all younger than yours. First we had a range day, I prepped them about it a few weeks ahead of time with a "hey I need to take you to the range sometime and let you shoot a little".
    Then about a week ahead of time, i have a little gun cleaning session, to discuss gun safety, and allow them to get used to the handling them and even a little field stripping them to explain the major components.

    The day of the range trip, discuss safety again, what to expect when you get there, proper etiquette at the range, and eye and ear protection...

    At the range more safety, and work up from small caliber.. ie .22LR to .38 then the .45, judging comfort and capability as you go along. The goal is to instill a healthy respect for the guns, but not a unreasonable fear.

    A couple of more range trips over a couple of months, and likely they will be very comfortable with the discussion about carrying.

    My description of why I carry, is a comparison to a seat belt, "Don't want to ever need it, but if I do need it, I really want it there..."

    Then discussion about why we don't talk about it with others, the legality of it, and if they want to know if you have it to use a code word. Like do you have "insurance"..

    Just my $.02 for what it is worth.

    As to the ex wife.... I'm guessing nothing you do will make her happy...and I don't see why you should talk to her about it.. although I wouldn't tell your kids not to tell her...If they do and she brings it up deal with that when it happens..
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    Member Array msb45's Avatar
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    Agree with above. I think we also need to teach our kids that violence used for self defense is OK. Similar to the martial arts where you learn techniques to be used only for defense. In that perspective a gun, like violence in general, is a survival tool. I tell my daughter to take reasonable precautions but not live in fear. All violence is bad attitude just breeds victims for bullies and thugs.

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    "Hey guys I need to show you something real quick. I want you to understand that there are 4 rules to gun safety, and if you follow them guns are much safer than most people believe. 1 treat all guns like they are loaded. 2 never point a gun at something you don't want to destroy. 3 keep your finger off the trigger till your ready to shoot. 4 know you target and whats behind it. Make sense? Want to go to the range and practice some gun safety with me?"

    It's like jumping into cold water. There are 100 different ways to get ready, but at some point you just have to jump.
    I prefer to live dangerously free than safely caged!

    "Our houses are protected by the good Lord and a gun. And you might meet 'em both if you show up here not welcome son." Josh Thompson "Way Out Here"

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    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    First, depends upon how personally responsible your kids are. Second, never assume anything with kids.

    Have 2 grandkids who've lived with me a long time, 12 & 14. Both have been shooting for 3-4 yrs, learned gun safety, and know all about my carrying and the reasons why. I can't imagine starting out with them at this age, but I doubt I would do it any differently. There first exposure per se was 'gun safety', all the NEVER's, the keeping their mouth shut when in public and I"m carrying, then the reasons for carrying, and then shooting lessons. Also take them thru "what to do " in particular situations and getting out of the line of fire, getting cover, remaining behind me to the sides (less likely to get hit by who's shooting at me) , etc.

    You have the extra issue of the Ex, and no matter what you do.... she's going to find out, so it's probably better if you bring it up then she finds out thru the back door. GOOD LUCK ! ! !
    I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. --- Will Rogers ---
    Chief Justice John Roberts : "I don't see how you can read Heller and not take away from it the notion that the Second Amendment...was extremely important to the framers in their view of what liberty meant."

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