New Permit holder - conflicted feelings - Page 2

New Permit holder - conflicted feelings

This is a discussion on New Permit holder - conflicted feelings within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I would believe that everyone at some point when they began to carry concealed felt the same way or had similar experiences with it. Over ...

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Thread: New Permit holder - conflicted feelings

  1. #16
    VIP Member Array JoJoGunn's Avatar
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    I would believe that everyone at some point when they began to carry concealed felt the same way or had similar experiences with it. Over time though as others have said, that feeling will diminish somewhat. I have felt the same way when I began to carry.

    It is a great responsibility to carry something capable of taking life in less than a heartbeat, it is not a toy or something to take lightly, that's the way we all treat it here. You are on your way however to being comfortable with concealment.

    Your post is excellent, sounds like you are willing to use a firearm if need be, but you are also aware of the responsibility behind it's use.

    Carry on!
    skandranon likes this.
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  2. #17
    Ex Member Array apvbguy's Avatar
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    all newbies go through the paranoia stage, go do a few wally world walks and the newness will go away. also you should invest in some self defense training, find a trainer in your area to work with, increasing your self confidence about handling and using your gun will go a long way to getting rid of your feelings. train train train and then train some more!
    skandranon likes this.

  3. #18
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    Like others have stated, it takes time.

    I used to associate carrying a gun with being 'on duty'. I actually looked forward to the day when I didn't have to.

    Then one day I realized that as long as I'm an active participant in this world, I'm still 'on duty', so I started carrying again. Like you, I started slightly paranoid, and over time it became as essential and routine as my cell phone or wallet.

    Yesterday, I was visiting my (very ill) mom and hanging out with her on the couch. As I hugged her good-bye, I went low, which prompted her to put her hand on my shoulder instead of on my waist, which had a cocked and locked 1911 IWB. She's too fuzzy-headed these days to be troubled with discussing things like this, so I just don't bring it up. Did I feel the need to be carrying in her house? Not really, but as I went back to my daily routine, I sure do want to be carrying, and it's just easier (and safer) to carry all the time vs. arming and disarming.

    It is a new way of life and it does take getting used to, not to mention a lot of study and training. There's so much more to it than just putting a gun in a holster.
    skandranon and gatech33 like this.
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  4. #19
    VIP Member Array jwhite75's Avatar
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    Do yourself a favor and get some professional training Lots of it in the Northwest. Here are two of the good ones. I am sure there are more.

    Thunder Ranchģ Oregon

    Firearms Academy of Seattle, Inc. 360-978-6100

    Research here and ask questions. Get yourseld a good quality belt and holster. Expect to pay 200 bucks or more for quality gear. It will last for years and will make your carryign experience so much better.

    After a short time you will be so physically comfortable with it there that you will actually feel weird without it. Like Retsupt99 said, just a tool for making a trip. The paranoia will go away. Just keep doing it over and over and you will be a natural. You are carrying for exactly the right reasons. Dont stop now.
    skandranon likes this.
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  5. #20
    Senior Member Array Gaius's Avatar
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    Very thoughtful post. My perspective may be a bit different from some. As to the "mantra" carry all of the time, I disagree. We have seen posts where someone said going next door to his neighbor's house for a hamburger was a problem because he "had to carry" and his neighbor didn't really approve. Did he "have to carry"? Probably not. Here's my view. The prudent person does not worry about what is merely possible. Anything is merely possible. Rather, we concern ourselves with what is probable. Now, does this mean that the merely possible can't happen? of course it can. But I do not lose a lot of sleep over it. Posts talking about how important it is to carry in church. My opinion... give me break. Situational awareness says a lot. If you find yourself going to places that are problematic, and you cannot avoid going there, by all means carry. In church? What are the odds. So relax. If you are not comfortable carrying in a particular place, don't. The chances that any of us will ever actually have to use our weapon in self defense are extremely remote. Not impossible, but pretty remote. Chill out, use sense, and you will do fine.
    shockwave and MotorCityGun like this.
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  6. #21
    Member Array cmycek's Avatar
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    I was having the same thought as the OP yesterday, because my spouse shared her opinion that carrying around our suburban town running errands and schlepping kids. Going into the city, or out to bar at night, she thinks makes more sense. Even though we had a convicted sex offender approach one of our children on our property in mid-day four years ago. With my German Shepherd in the yard, who did chase the BG away (and he was apprehended that evening by the cops).

    So, I will keep carrying concealed and she will eentually get used to it. My three teenage kids know I CC, but they basically don't know when since I have a good holster and conceal well. I agree with the other posters that paranoia will fade to just better instinctual SA. Thanks for the post.
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  7. #22
    Ex Member Array apvbguy's Avatar
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    regarding the feeling of it not being necessary to carry I always use this analogy, I've been driving for almost 40 years and have only needed to use a spare tire once in that time, I would never drive a mile without having a spare and I bet most of you agree.
    most of us would never use our guns in a SD situation but like a spare tire that you rarely if ever use your edc is a tool that more than likely you'll never use but if you ever need it you'll be glad that you had it.
    Carry your guns!
    for me it is a part of getting dressed, underwear, pants, belt, holster, gun, same thing everyday and hopefully like that spare tire in the car, I'll never need to put the gun to use.
    skandranon and bigdog44 like this.

  8. #23
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    I have carried for a couple of years now, and I feel strange if I donít carry. I think of it like having my wallet on me, itís just something I load up every morning. The only place I canít carry where I live and work are schools and government buildings, so for me itís all day every day. As for not worrying about carry in church, in 2007 a gunman opened fire in a church in my home town. A volunteer carrying a concealed handgun was the one who stopped him.
    skandranon and BugDude like this.

  9. #24
    VIP Member Array First Sgt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gaius View Post
    Very thoughtful post. My perspective may be a bit different from some. As to the "mantra" carry all of the time, I disagree. We have seen posts where someone said going next door to his neighbor's house for a hamburger was a problem because he "had to carry" and his neighbor didn't really approve. Did he "have to carry"? Probably not. Here's my view. The prudent person does not worry about what is merely possible. Anything is merely possible. Rather, we concern ourselves with what is probable. Now, does this mean that the merely possible can't happen? of course it can. But I do not lose a lot of sleep over it. Posts talking about how important it is to carry in church. My opinion... give me break. Situational awareness says a lot. If you find yourself going to places that are problematic, and you cannot avoid going there, by all means carry. In church? What are the odds. So relax. If you are not comfortable carrying in a particular place, don't. The chances that any of us will ever actually have to use our weapon in self defense are extremely remote. Not impossible, but pretty remote. Chill out, use sense, and you will do fine.
    With all due respect Professor, your academia mindset may perhaps be your downfall when you need to have and/or use your weapon in the defense of yourself and/or your family. Bad things can happen to good people (yourself included), ANYTIME and/or ANYWHERE. What were the odds of The Luby Cafeteria incident or the numerous church violence incidents posted on here, or the LEO's sitting in the coffeeshop and were shot down like dogs. I encourage you to search deeper within yourself as to why you carry and develop a better mindset towards your defense and the defense of your family. Good luck Sir and stay safe. JMO

    As I have posted here before, there are three types of people:

    * It will never happen to me - the fools
    * It might happen to me - the prepared
    *It is going to happen to me - the paranoid


    I can understand the OP's original post and feelings. As you progress, train, develop the proper mindset, train some more, you will most likely overcome your feelings of paranoia and will end up being in the category of The Prepared .. Good luck to you in your journey.
    Last edited by First Sgt; May 6th, 2011 at 11:15 PM.
    Sometimes in life you have to stand your ground. It's a hard lesson to learn and even most adults don't get it, but in the end only I can be responsible for my life. If faced with any type of adversity, only I can overcome it. Waiting for someone else to take responsibility is a long fruitless wait.

  10. #25
    Distinguished Member Array alachner's Avatar
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    It is completely normal when you begin carrying a pistol to feel paranoid and self-conscious. Nonetheless, these feelings will go away shortly and your pistol will become a part of your every day gear such as your wallet, your watch, keys, phone, etc.. Also, you will realize that you have nothing to be paranoid of..........because you have a gun with you!
    skandranon likes this.
    "If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid. That's ridiculous... If I have a gun, what in the hell do I have to be paranoid for?" [Clint Smith - Thunder Ranch]

  11. #26
    Member Array roalho's Avatar
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    Just wait, soon enough you'll feel weird when you're NOT carrying! High on your list now ought to be to attend a defensive handgun course, because it's NOT like target shooting, hunting, IPSC, etc...
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  12. #27
    Member Array The Dark's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by First Sgt View Post
    With all due respect Professor, your academia mindset may perhaps be your downfall when you need to have and/or use your weapon in the defense of yourself and/or your family. Bad things can happen to good people (yourself included), ANYTIME and/or ANYWHERE. What were the odds of The Luby Cafeteria incident or the numerous church violence incidents posted on here, or the LEO's sitting in the coffeeshop and were shot down like dogs. I encourage you to search deeper within yourself as to why you carry and develop a better mindset towards your defense and the defense of your family. Good luck Sir and stay safe. JMO
    As an academician I agree. In this instance, it seems rather foolish to engage in computing probabilities and then deciding to carry or not based on those cold calculations. In most cases, the rare, improbable event has little real world tragic consequence, and, if so, is one for which we cannot prepare (tornadoes, earthquakes). But in this specific case, we can prepare and when the cost of preparedness is low and the potential benefit high, to simply make such a decision based on an equation seems unduly academic. Why ever carry? Why have an alarm in your home, lock your doors, buy insurance, etc? Such preparations are aimed at that statistically rare but potentially devastating event. Lots of folks after the cataclysm say "Damn I wish I had bought insurance".

    In order to accurately compute the probabilities in a way that really comports with the real world consequences, I think one has to take the impact of the rare outcome into account.

    If one does not want to carry, don't carry - probability says you will likely be fine. If something happens and you are not, then you have gambled based on cold probabilities and lost. But if I choose to carry to a colleague's home who does not approve of it, they will never know. It will cost me nothing, but I will be prepared.

    This is kind of like Pascal's wager for concealed carry: If one lives as if danger is always a possible (if improbable) event and it never happens, then they have lost little. If one lives as if potential danger is so improbable as to be negligible and they are wrong, they have lost it all.
    "To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you only have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence." Friedrich Nietzsche

  13. #28
    Member Array I3ear17's Avatar
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    I think what The Dark said is spot on. I might even have to print that out to show some of my naysayer friends (although it will probably be of little help).
    I just started carrying about a month ago. I still feel like i am showing when i walk (full size USP .40) but as I get more used to having it on me, i notice it less. One of my things was "what if i need to go somewhere I am not allowed?". I recently got my Nanovault NANO VAULT 300 - HANDGUN SAFES that someone posted in the forum, and now if i have to leave it in the car, i feel a little better about it.

    I think once i find a suitable smaller carry weapon (looking at the LC9, or who knows, I am getting used to the USP) that insecurity will be right out the window for me.
    skandranon likes this.

  14. #29
    Member Array I3ear17's Avatar
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    I hope that posting that link was ok. I am just stating i am happy with mine.

  15. #30
    Ex Member Array JOHNSMITH's Avatar
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    For me, it was the serious realization that what if I just left it behind "just this once" and something happened? I'd never, ever be able to forgive myself, especially if my loved ones got hurt as a result.

    Eventually, it will become automatic and it won't be such a conscious mental burden. When you started driving, it probably also seemed burdensome to constnatly be checking your mirrors, trying to predict what other people are going to do, remembering to use your signal, etc. You may also have had a lot of negative thoughts about what happens if someone changes lanes right in front of you then stomps on their brakes; or if you miss someone in your blind spot; or if someone turns out right in front of you; or a sleepy driver coming the oppostie way on the freeway, etc. Eventually all these thoughts become smoother and more integrated.

    The Dark's post is excellent, and reflects my thinking on carry. It is quite unlikely I will ever have to "use it." However, if it does happen, I want to be ready. A while ago I made the "that will never be me" realization. Something happened one day which sort of shook me out of my apathy. I realized I couldn't take such aspects of real life so lightly and nonchalantly anymore.
    OD* likes this.

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