New Permit holder - conflicted feelings - Page 3

New Permit holder - conflicted feelings

This is a discussion on New Permit holder - conflicted feelings within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; When one comes to the realization that he/she must carry a gun for self defense, there will be some emotion involved in coming to that ...

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  1. #31
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    When one comes to the realization that he/she must carry a gun for self defense, there will be some emotion involved in coming to that decision. Its a natural thing because we are human beings and (for the most part)we are thinkers. We ponder, we think, we dwell on what is or what could be.

    Part of the process is coming to terms with our thoughts. I personally would rather not have to carry a gun, but I realize that the world is not really the happy, go lucky and carefree environment that we wish it was.
    It sucks that there are people out there that would kill you and not even lose a wink of sleep after it was done, but that is reality. It sucks that people would steal your stuff, or prey on others for their lively hood, but they are there doing what they do best,day in and day out.

    It sucks that the cops can not be there to protect you, but that is the way it is. It can be a let down, it can be downright depressing to wake up one day and realize that the world really is a cruel place and its not at all what we would like it to be.

    So we do what we can, for ourselves and our loved ones, and we deal with it the best that we can once we realize that we are responsible for our own safety.It's a continuing process of education and even maturity. That weight on our hip is a reminder that things are not as they should be, and it can be a very sobering thought process.
    skandranon, OD*, gatech33 and 1 others like this.
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  2. #32
    New Member Array skandranon's Avatar
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    Wow. Did not expect so many great answers so fast. Thank you all for the thoughts!

    The link to the nano vault is great! Very inexpensive and I have been looking for something for my car just like that!

    I am looking to get training asap. This whole thing has been a HUGE expense to me. I (like many these days) am just scraping by financially. So the costs involved are a very big consideration for me!

    I live Portland, Oregon. Oregon is very gun friendly (open carry legal and a shall issue state, etc), Portland is very anti gun. So there is a huge social stigma attached that I am dealing with. I have fast learned that carrying all the time is going to require almost a whole wardrobe change to ensure concealed stays concealed. It is very hard to find holsters and belt locally to try out before I buy them. So far I have already gotten one of each that are not at all going to work for me long term. Right now I am constantly adjusting my gun because it is poking me in one way or another. I know most people dont pay attention but my friends have noticed and asked me. I decided not to hide it from some of them and got a lot of flak for it.

    Hopefully when I can take the training the will help set my mind at ease. I know better gear will help make it more comfortable. It will take time for these things, I wish I could do them now.

    My biggest problem with carrying from a psychical standpoint is, getting into and out of my car. I can not do it without moving my gun around till it is just right. This is very obvious to anyone else in the car. I know this is a gear issue, and will be resolved sooner or later.

    I am still conflicted, but your opinions have helped. Thanks again!

  3. #33
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    You are OVERTHINKING the issue.

    FACT. There are likely people in your neighborhood who would maim, abuse, or kill you or a family member if they had the opportunity and thought they could get away with it.

    FACT. Unless you have hired bodyguards no one else will be around 24-7 to protect you and yours.

    FACT. When properly trained a man (or woman) with a gun has the odds greatly in their favor no matter WHO attacks them.

    FACT. Life Insurance costs a lot - Bullets are pretty cheap.


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  4. #34
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    If you're a dad, I have one thing to lay your doubts to rest. Apparently, from what I read in the news, Jaycee Dugard's dad watched as his child was pulled into a car by a stranger. Nothing he could really do, since it was a little ways down the street. Would a gun have solved that? Not necessarily. But never doubt that there are genuine predators among us. Don't doubt that for a minute.

    Trust me, that's not a reality that you did or didn't create for the world by choosing to carry or not to carry. That's fact. Feelings of paranoia and anxiety are a natural cause of acknowledging, and taking personal responsibility for, dangers that you might not have faced so square till now.
    Anybody can get scared, but you must absolutely not let that affect your behavior. Cowardice kills. -Jeff Cooper

  5. #35
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    I have carried for a long enough period of time that I have the opposite problem. I know it is there but will I remember when I need it. I have become too comfortable with having a gun on me all the time I guess.

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by retsupt99 View Post
    The paranoid feeling will disappear, but being more aware of your surroundings is 'good'.
    Soon you will think of your firearm as a watch, a wallet, or a cell phone...just part of the needed tools for the trip.
    This is very true. In being honest with yourself, you are right, you probably will never need your gun. But if you do, you really really need it.

    Also, look at it this way; 10-15 years ago people had the same struggle with their cell phones. You didnt need it. It was only there for emergency.... Now, most people will turn around and go get it for that quick trip to the grocery.
    "Just blame Sixto"

  7. #37
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    I’ve been carrying about 10 months. At first I carried a lot but then after a month or so it interfered with my work, wasn’t comfortable and so I only carried part of the time. I mean, what could happen in small town, rural America. What happened was someone I worked with was the victim of a home invasion kidnapping and assault. The person made it out of that situation alive but it was a personal wakeup call for me. I carry all the time now.
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  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by skandranon View Post
    Wow. Did not expect so many great answers so fast. Thank you all for the thoughts!

    The link to the nano vault is great! Very inexpensive and I have been looking for something for my car just like that!

    I am looking to get training asap. This whole thing has been a HUGE expense to me. I (like many these days) am just scraping by financially. So the costs involved are a very big consideration for me!

    I live Portland, Oregon. Oregon is very gun friendly (open carry legal and a shall issue state, etc), Portland is very anti gun. So there is a huge social stigma attached that I am dealing with. I have fast learned that carrying all the time is going to require almost a whole wardrobe change to ensure concealed stays concealed. It is very hard to find holsters and belt locally to try out before I buy them. So far I have already gotten one of each that are not at all going to work for me long term. Right now I am constantly adjusting my gun because it is poking me in one way or another. I know most people dont pay attention but my friends have noticed and asked me. I decided not to hide it from some of them and got a lot of flak for it.

    Hopefully when I can take the training the will help set my mind at ease. I know better gear will help make it more comfortable. It will take time for these things, I wish I could do them now.

    My biggest problem with carrying from a psychical standpoint is, getting into and out of my car. I can not do it without moving my gun around till it is just right. This is very obvious to anyone else in the car. I know this is a gear issue, and will be resolved sooner or later.

    I am still conflicted, but your opinions have helped. Thanks again!
    consider the training as an investment in your safety and if you get a good holster and gun belt you should never have issues with the gun not being secure on your body

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by skandranon View Post
    However I often find myself thinking, "I have never needed a gun before today, why now?" I know, the whole you dont plan on wrecking your car, but you still wear a seat belt argument, boy scout motto, etc..
    The reality is you will probably never need it, but it's better to have it and not need it then need it and not have it.
    "I got a lot of problems with you people!" - Frank Costanza

  10. #40
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    I learned to shoot back in the 50's and have been around guns all my life. However, I never carried until a little over two years ago. In fact, it was my wife who first suggested we take the class and get our permits. Even after I had my permit I didn't carry all the time. I initially felt very much like the OP does. However, after a couple of advanced classes and reading a whole lot of posts on this forum from some very knowledgeable individuals, I now carry all the time where ever and when ever it is legal to do so. Now, I feel naked without it! It is part of getting dressed in the morning.
    Live to ride, ride to live. Harley Road King And keep a .45 handy Kimber Custom TLE II

  11. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by skandranon View Post
    Wow. Did not expect so many great answers so fast. Thank you all for the thoughts!
    Welcome to the forum, everyone here is extremely eager to help and inform.

    Quote Originally Posted by skandranon View Post
    I live Portland, Oregon. Oregon is very gun friendly (open carry legal and a shall issue state, etc), Portland is very anti gun. So there is a huge social stigma attached that I am dealing with. I have fast learned that carrying all the time is going to require almost a whole wardrobe change to ensure concealed stays concealed. It is very hard to find holsters and belt locally to try out before I buy them. So far I have already gotten one of each that are not at all going to work for me long term. Right now I am constantly adjusting my gun because it is poking me in one way or another. I know most people dont pay attention but my friends have noticed and asked me. I decided not to hide it from some of them and got a lot of flak for it.

    Hopefully when I can take the training the will help set my mind at ease. I know better gear will help make it more comfortable. It will take time for these things, I wish I could do them now.

    My biggest problem with carrying from a psychical standpoint is, getting into and out of my car. I can not do it without moving my gun around till it is just right. This is very obvious to anyone else in the car. I know this is a gear issue, and will be resolved sooner or later.
    This combination took me from "How do you carry this brick around" to "Where's my pistol? Oh, it's on my hip!". I carry a full size XD-40, and rarely have any issues concealing it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hubs View Post
    The things people carry on their waist nowadays is full of cellphones and beepers and etc.!
    I haven't seen a 'beeper' in 10 years
    Last edited by livewire; May 7th, 2011 at 03:42 PM. Reason: Merged

  12. #42
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    Welcome aboard, skandranon - as you can see, everybody here is of one accord and eager to help. You're gonna love this forum.

    I know I felt WAY out of place when I first started carrying, but I think it was a function of the state I live in, NY. Not so many CCW's up here. I think if I lived in PA or Georgia I would have felt more natural right away. But I got to that relaxed feeling very quickly, and you will too.
    skandranon likes this.
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  13. #43
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    First Sgt and the Dark. Thanks for your thoughtful posts. You both make very good and valid points. I'm not sure, however, that we are really all that far apart. Clint Smith of Thunder Ranch fame is found of saying that carrying a concealed weapon is not supposed to be comfortable. it is supposed to be comforting. Now, and on a purely individual basis, what if we have a guy, for whatever reason, who is completely uncomfortable in carrying at a particular time or in a particular place. Personally, i would tell him to leave his weapon at home. I guess for me, it's a quality of life issue. I am willing to accept certain risks if the benefit outweighs those risks, at least in my own judgment. I also agree that statistics can be a pretty slippery slope, if for no other reason than people are not numbers. The insurance example may be a good one. I would buy flood insurance if i lived in an area that, for example, experiences a flood every one hundred years. Would I also buy that insurance if I lived in say Death Valley, where statistically a flood may have never happened? (I guessing about that but you get the idea.) Probably not. However, they can give us some direction, albeit not necessarily conclusive, as to what we may do or encounter. It's absolutely true that bad things happen to good people all the time, and the clearly known risk is the easiest one to prepare for. It is the surprise encounter with the unknown, or at least the unexpected risk that causes the greatest harm. For many of us, carrying all the time may be a very small inconvenience at worst compared to our perceived risk our there. For some, however. i can respect a different judgment.
    limatunes and skandranon like this.
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  14. #44
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    Are you familiar with Jeff Cooper? Consider these tidbits of wisdom from him:

    “One cannot legislate the maniacs off the street... these maniacs can only be shut down by an armed citizenry. Indeed bad things can happen in nations where the citizenry is armed, but not as bad as those which seem to be threatening our disarmed citizenry in this country at this time.”

    “Owning a handgun doesn't make you armed any more than owning a guitar makes you a musician.”

    “Remember the first rule of gunfighting... ‘have a gun.’"

    “The police cannot protect the citizen at this stage of our development, and they cannot even protect themselves in many cases. It is up to the private citizen to protect himself and his family, and this is not only acceptable, but mandatory.”

    “The will to survive is not as important as the will to prevail... the answer to criminal aggression is retaliation.”

    "Safety is something that happens between your ears, not something you hold in your hands."

    "All the people constitute the militia — according to the Founding Fathers. Therefore every able-bodied man has a duty under the Constitution to become part of the "well-regulated" militia, specifically to understand and perform well with the individual weapon currently issued to the regular establishment. . . . Thus one who has not qualified himself with the M-16 may not be considered to be a responsible citizen."

    “One bleeding-heart type asked me in a recent interview if I did not agree that ‘violence begets violence.’ I told him that it is my earnest endeavor to see that it does. I would like very much to ensure—and in some cases I have—that any man who offers violence to his fellow citizen begets a whole lot more in return than he can enjoy.”

    "The purpose of the pistol is to stop a fight that somebody else has started, almost always at very short range."

  15. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by skandranon View Post
    The problem I am having is since I started carrying I have been feeling slightly paranoid and focusing way too much on negative thoughts. In some aspects of my thinking it has been beneficial. I pay more attention to my surroundings and the words avoidance and alternatives have become somewhat of a mantra. No problems there. However I often find myself thinking, "I have never needed a gun before today, why now?" I know, the whole you dont plan on wrecking your car, but you still wear a seat belt argument, boy scout motto, etc..
    Don't confuse the fact that your more alert of your surroundings and "scanning" every thing and person around you for Paranoia. Thats just being smart. You have been infected with a disease which all of us here carry. It's name.....REALITY! There are people out there that will hurt you and your family If they get the chance to gain something out of it. You'll also start noticing more on the news, papers internet (aside from pro-gun forums) about people being violently victimized, I know I did. I think the main reason people feel weird at first is both the knowledge that you now poses the power to end a life in a split second if you have too, while at the same time praying nobody puts you in a position to do so. As well as the fact (for me at least) that for a while it just felt like I was doing something illegal hiding a gun all the time. Soon enough you'll feel weird when your not carrying. For me that's when I'm paranoid. Congrats on the permit. BTW: What did you buy, and how are you carrying?
    skandranon likes this.

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