Wife saw the light...I thought it would never happen

Wife saw the light...I thought it would never happen

This is a discussion on Wife saw the light...I thought it would never happen within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Taking to the wife on the webcam last night and out of the blue she tells me she wants to get her CCW when I ...

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Thread: Wife saw the light...I thought it would never happen

  1. #1
    Member Array Unkind213's Avatar
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    Jul 2010

    Thumbs up Wife saw the light...I thought it would never happen

    Taking to the wife on the webcam last night and out of the blue she tells me she wants to get her CCW when I return home. This came as quite a shock to me since, at first, she was against me being a gun owner period. She has some a long way, though, over the past few years. It progressed from being glad we had a "plan" for if the alarm went off in the house, to her sleeping with the shotgun by the bed when I went to work at night, to her frequently asking me when walking through a parking lot or sketchy area at night "do you have your gun with you?"

    I've been in Iraq for a while now...and I think being alone with our 18 month old son has changed her perspective a bit. That, and the fact that we recently received a reassignment to Las Vegas, a place notorious for crime, I'm sure has had an effect on her thought process regarding the protection of herself and our family. If you had told me 3 years ago that she would be asking to get her CCW I would have had laughed hysterically.

    Now comes the task of getting her more comfortable around guns and shooting. She has shot the shotgun a few times before and a Beretta .22 pistol, but never anything other than that. I told her that when I get back we will spend some time at the range together and I'll ease her into it so that when she goes to the class to get the Nevada non-resident permit, it will be cake.

    I also get the JOY of shopping for a new gun for her! I know it's going to have to be something small and light, as she's only 5' 110lbs (though I guess it's not as much of an issue if she carries it in her purse). Any suggestions? I know there are some great 9mm slim autos out there such as the PM9 and SR9C, but I'm also going to give her the chance to shoot my LCR in case she decides she likes revolvers (though I think the recoil on the LCR might be a little much for her with .38+P carry ammo). I'm a Glock man myself, and I would love to add a G26 to the collection for her, but I'm thinking with her experience level (no safety, light trigger pull) it might be a little risky for her to handle in a stressful situation.

    So, what are your thoughts?

  2. #2
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    Array RETSUPT99's Avatar
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    Jul 2006
    Central Florida
    First of all, congrats on getting your 'bride' to come around so quickly. Mine was never 'anti', just not interested...it took 32 of our 40 years together for her to 'figure it out'.
    Secondly, let her pick out the gun she wants to carry. My first two choices went down the drain...my picks sit in the safe, her pick gets carried.
    OMO...enjoy the journey.

    Thanks for your service!
    Proverbs 27:12 says: “The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.”

    Certified Glock Armorer
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  3. #3
    Member Array crabbys44's Avatar
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    Feb 2011
    Austin, TX
    Glocks are easiest to train with IMO. The primary safety is always the shooter, never depend on anything mechanical to take the place of thinking.

    If the light trigger for her bothers you, get a "New York" trigger installed. You will get a heavier, still consistent trigger pull and you are already familiar with the platform.

    As with all guns and carry methods, make sure the triggerguard is covered and protected.

    I would recommend a Glock 19 but I would have her try as many different makes & models as possible to find what fits her best and what SHE likes. If she doesn't like Glocks, there are XDs and DAO or DAK (SIG) trigger systems that don't deal with external safeties or decock levers, and of course revolvers (polymer, scandium, aluminum, steel).

    Good luck and make sure she gets good quality training. There are at least 2 training schools in / near Vegas.
    Courage is endurance for one moment more…

    Hollowpoints might expand, but bullets won't shrink.

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  5. #4
    VIP Member Array tkruf's Avatar
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    Feb 2010
    Really SW, Virginia
    First, thank you for your service! I'm glad your wife has come around finally. My wife is 5' 3" and about 116 lbs. She doesn't like the recoil of the LCR. She can however shoot the Kahr PM9, CW9, Glock 19, Glock 26, Springfield XD9sc, Ruger GP100 .357, Ruger SP101, Ruger LCP. Her personal gun is a 1974 S&W Mod 60 (.38).

    At first, she couldn't hardly rack the slide on a lot of semi-auto's. She's gotten better with practice. Only the sort of difficult ones give her problems now.

    Best thing is to let your wife shoot as many different guns as possible to see what works best for her. My wife has a problem with the "thick" grip of the Glock 19. She has to rotate her hand around toward the trigger more in order to reach the trigger, which puts her hand in not-so-much the right position.

    Consider whether or not your wife can rack the slide on a gun, the size of the gun (for both carry and for concealing), and the amount of recoil.

    If she is recoil sensitive, and has a hard time with semi-auto slides, maybe consider a S&W mod 60 (.38), not too heavy but not too light. This will help with some of the recoil.

    If considering a semi-auto and wanting something with a manual thumb safety on it, consider a Colt Mustang or Pocketlite.

    Main thing, is let her choose what works for her the best. Something that she "will" carry.
    NRA Member
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    Ruger SR9c Ruger LCP

  6. #5
    Senior Member Array beni's Avatar
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    Mar 2009
    A Walther PPS in 9mm may also be a good choice for a compact and slim 9mm. The biggest gripe people have about the PPS is the ambidextrous magazine release which is located at the base of the trigger guard (similar to a Walther P22). The PPS is very easy to conceal and different magazine sizes provide different capacities. The Medium size magazine has a capacity of 7 rounds. The take down to field strip it is similar to that of a Glock which means it is very simple. But like others have and will say, let her pick what is best for her.
    Last edited by beni; May 7th, 2011 at 09:43 AM. Reason: more content

  7. #6
    VIP Member Array SIGguy229's Avatar
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    Let her pick the gun...see what fits in HER hand...not yours.

    Have her check out: Cornered Cat

    Also Limatune's blog: About Me
    Magazine <> clip - know the difference

    martyr is a fancy name for crappy fighter
    You have never lived until you have almost died. For those that have fought for it, life has a special flavor the protected will never know

  8. #7
    Senior Member Array borglyn's Avatar
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    Apr 2010
    I understand. My wife was not anti gun but had no interest. After I got my CPL she felt a need to be competent with a firearm as we have a child. Anyway, after finishing the class and using my guns she decided on MY G26! Oh well at least we get to go gun shopping!
    " The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer." Henry Kissenger

  9. #8
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    Array archer51's Avatar
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    Congrats on your wife coming around. As to a gun she will like and carry, let her make the decision. Guide her in her choice, but let her make the final decision.

    While the SR9c is small in the length department, it is still a double stack magazine and if her hands are small she may have problemns with it. Something in the single stack catagory might fit her better. The LC9 is small, and compact, but the long trigger pull could be a problem for her. My wifes carry gun is a Kahr CW9. Compact, single stack 9MM, with a very nice trigger on it. Just some things to think about.

    BTW, thanks to you and her for your service.
    Freedom doesn't come free. It is bought and paid for by the lives and blood of our men and women in uniform.

    USAF Retired
    NRA Life Member

  10. #9
    VIP Member Array NC Bullseye's Avatar
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    Thanks for everything you do. You may not realize it all the time but you are appreciated by a whole lot of folks back home.

    First, you really should consider getting her into a basics class and not trying to teach her yourself. I can guarantee beyond a doubt, she will get far more out of a class when she doesn't have to worry about not living up to your expectations. Spouses teaching spouses is rarely effective when critical skills are involved. The added stress of her wanting to "Do good" in your eyes and not be "stupid" add a whole new level of tension when she needs to be focused on the basics.

    As to the "small and light" prerequisite for her gun, that can be a recipe for disaster since smaller and lighter equals more felt recoil as well as increased difficulty in accurate follow up shots. As others have said, once she has the basics down, get her out to try as many different guns as possible.

    If you get her gun first before she has the basics down you are doing her a disservice because she will most likely tend to pick a smaller gun in both size and caliber to compensate for her fear of recoil. I've had women that had a difficult time learning to deal with a pistol like a Glock and the operation of the slide. Once they've had a little training it becomes a non issue.

    One last thing, don't be surprised when she ends up out shooting you after she gets comfortable! They have a way of doing that. Don't ask me how I know.

  11. #10
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    Height and weight really doesn't matter when picking out a handgun,It has a lot to do with strength and good technique,Let her pick her own gun,but the first time my wife shot a M&P 45c she kinda claimed it as hers
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  12. #11
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    Array Bark'n's Avatar
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    West Central Missouri
    Congrats on your wife's conversion. Always good when sense and sensibilities rule over emotion.

    So, lets look at some common sense. Generally speaking, the smaller the gun, the more difficult it is to shoot as well as more violent the recoil is. Many people think that those ultra-lightweight snubbies are the perfect gun for the "women folk", especially those of small stature, when in fact, the small ultra-lightweight snubbies are more of a gun for experts. Women of your wife's size and stature has been competing in firearms competitions with full size, full power firearms since they started joining the shooting sports. Your wife's size and stature is really the least important factor when picking out a firearm, except for the possibility of mental block preventing her from trying a larger weapon.

    However, the main determining factor is getting a gun in which she will be willing to carry all the time. So, size and weight of the gun does eventually come into play.

    Not many women want to carry a full size or even a compact 1911 in .45 acp, Limatunes not withstanding. But, it's always better if your wife is the one who picks out her own gun (with some intelligent guidance of course) For example, if you wife chooses the ultra-light Ruger LCR in the store because it fits her hand, is small and lightweight, it may behoove you to go out and let her shoot it, or one like it before laying out the cash for one. She may shoot it 3 times and find out the blast and recoil is unmanageable if not downright painful. Even in a .38 special loading. And she may not be able to hit the broadside of a barn as well.

    So, let her pick out a gun, but make sure some common sense and proper guidance are factored in.

    A good jumping off point would be to look into the 9mm Glock 19 first to see if she can handle the recoil and shoot it reasonably well. If she does well with the G-19, you might look into the Glock 26 next. Again, this is just a jumping off point.

    If she in interested in a revolver, I would start off looking at something with a 3" barrel for starters and don't discount the fact that you may need to change the grips on a revolver. Good custom grips can make all the difference in the world in managing a revolver and can often times feel like the shooter is shooting an entirely different gun or caliber.

    An excellent example would be trying a Ruger SP-101 .357 magnum with the 3" barrel. The 3 inch barrel gives a little more balance to the weapon, help control the recoil a bit and increases the sight radius for more accurate shooting. Plus the five round cylinder makes it a little easier to carry and conceal. Changing the grips on the SP-101 can really improve the handling of the gun although the stock grips may be just fine. They are a pretty decent grip that they come with. Also, she can shoot the .38 special but is not limited to .38 special if she ever works up to and becomes comfortable with full magnum loads.

    Good luck and congrats on your wife becoming sensible regarding guns. Just take care to make sure her direction and interest is always moving forward and not backwards. Insisting on the wrong gun, size and caliber has ruined many new shooters interest in very short order. And we don't want that happening.
    FiremanPaul likes this.
    Semper Fi

    "The gun is the great equalizer... For it is the gun, that allows the meek to repel the monsters; Whom are bigger, stronger and without conscience, prey on those who without one, would surely perish."

  13. #12
    Member Array Harleycolt's Avatar
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    May 2010
    Arlington, Texas
    As one vet to another thank you for you service and may you come home quickly and safely!
    You are very lucky to have your wife change her mind, I'm still fighting an uphill battle. She has been around them since childhood but doesn't want them around now. Well I'm from Texas and most Texans own at least one of some sorts. So we made a deal 1) shotgun,1) rifle and 1) handgun and I wouldn't tell her where they were or if I was carrying, best I could do for a newly married man. Still hopeful she will change her mind.

  14. #13
    Member Array 4evrinblujns's Avatar
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    Feb 2010
    There is a lot of good advise listed already, mostly about letting her pick what feels best for her. I can tell you of my wife's lessons as she is your wife's size. She was just not comfortable with racking a semi auto. cutting into her fingers and biting on release. She decided on the LCR and has been happy with her choice, HERE IT COMES. I am getting real tired of the recoil, can I shoot your SR9c for a while? ME: Yep sure can my love but your loading it. Her: No problem I brought gloves. Me: What the? Why the? Her: If I have to do it once or twice in an emergency ok but at the range I'm rackin with gloves on. That happened yesterday at the range.

    Larger the gun heavier the gun, shorter the gun more felt recoil. The best trade off for her seems to be around a 4in barrel. (3 3/4 to 4.25). Then comes width. This from my wife: Single stacks kick to much, and why is this double stack wider than this double stack. She has shot a few of each. With the wider double stackers she can not get her fingers around well enough, and also cannot get proper weak hand support. One handed shooting is impossible. She does well with my SR9c, but it is not the only one out there, so have her shoot some different ones.
    Hope this helps, and thanks for serving.
    4 Ever

  15. #14
    Member Array Bhamrichard's Avatar
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    Mar 2010
    Birmingham, AL.
    I know it's going to have to be something small and light, as she's only 5' 110lbs (though I guess it's not as much of an issue if she carries it in her purse).
    First, get rid of the pre-conceived notions your already harboring, let her decide what's best for her. Size doesn't always play into it, I have a friend at 5'8 110lbs that carries
    a huge .45 (that she's comfortable, and proficient with).
    We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal...

    Alabama Constitution of 1901 - That every citizen has a right to bear arms in defense of himself and the state.

  16. #15
    Member Array mj40p's Avatar
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    May 2007
    If you want her to really get into guns let her choose what she wants. Your job is to enjoy taking her gun shopping.

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