Fervently anti-gun parents - what to do?

This is a discussion on Fervently anti-gun parents - what to do? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Hello all, So I'm 21 and am currently a university student. This year, I've lived in the dormitories (for a number of reasons), where of ...

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Thread: Fervently anti-gun parents - what to do?

  1. #1
    Member Array PainCakesx's Avatar
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    Fervently anti-gun parents - what to do?

    Hello all,

    So I'm 21 and am currently a university student.

    This year, I've lived in the dormitories (for a number of reasons), where of course, guns are not allowed. Therefore, guns have been kept at home.

    Currently, I own 2 handguns and wish to bring them with me when I move out to an apartment.

    My mom is very anti-gun, and reluctantly went a long with me buying a gun if I go through the required safety training, which I did.

    She is generally very against me getting my CHL, but didn't make too much of a fuss when I did.

    Now, out of nowhere, she stated that she is very against me taking my gun to my apartment. When I very politely challenged her, asking why she felt that way, she could offer no reasonable or logical answer (typical I guess of most anti-gun people). She just said she didn't like it, though it was stupid, and said things like "if you get arrested don't come to me." (what the hell that even means, I have no idea - but you see what I have to deal with).

    My guns have been purchased through MY money, so there is no issue there. The issue is that she is currently footing my college bill and is helping to pay my rent (I am a full time student in a rigorous major - getting a job to support myself at this point is near impossible). In other words, she has me by the spheres, if you know what I mean. I appreciate all this that she is doing for me here, but this one issue really bothers me.

    I've tried educating her, she refuses to have anything to do with them and doesn't even like me storing them at home for now. I don't care so much that she doesn't like guns, but is now trying to say that I can't bring them with me, which I find to be wrong considering I am of legal age, have absolutely no criminal record to speak of, and have shown no reason to believe that I would do anything unsafe or illegal with them.

    Any advice? I want to keep the peace, but this really difficult right now. I can't just move out and call it good due to my current situation, so I'm in a bit of a pickle here.

    PS: To clarify, parents are divorced - dad is generally pro gun, though his opinion has no bearing on my mom's. My mom is currently footing most of my college bills.

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  3. #2
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    Array gasmitty's Avatar
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    And if you didn't keep your guns in your apartment, where would they be - at home with Mom? I think your biggest sales job is convincing Mom the guns are safer with you, locked up (stored safely) in your domicile, not hers. Absent that, what is HER suggestion as to where you can keep them?
    Smitty
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    VIP Member Array chiefjason's Avatar
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    Not sure what your situation is. But when I wanted something of mine from home, that did not require someone else to move, I just packed it up and took it to school with me. It's your property. Not saying start an argument. But why does she need to know about it. Are you wanting her to bring them to you?
    CaveTroll, tkruf and oneshot like this.
    I prefer to live dangerously free than safely caged!

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    VIP Member Array NC Bullseye's Avatar
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    Well, until she's not a contributing factor in your life financially and she's paying your rent you need to carefully consider if your ownership of firearms is more important that your family. Maybe work on getting her more comfortable with the idea and then you'd be in the clear.

    Guns are NOT worth screwing up your immediate family over. But that's just age talking.

    Just ask yourself which is more important.

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    Senior Member Array Rotorblade's Avatar
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    As long as you are accepting financial support from your mom you should concede the point. Study hard, get your degree and then you can do as you wish.
    MadMac and mfcmb like this.
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    Member Array PainCakesx's Avatar
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    I'm certainly not trying to ruin my relationship with her - I'm more asking if there is anything I can maybe do to bring her to a more reasonable position.

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    Honor thy father and thy mother, especially as she's gracious enough to help you financially. Ideally she would get some gun safety herself, learn how to defend herself while you were away, and keep one of the handguns for her own protection, stored in a quick access safe. Meanwhile, would your father agree to their safekeeping? If not, conceed to her feelings, concentrate on your education, and visit her as often as you can.
    Last edited by gunthorp; May 22nd, 2011 at 11:47 AM.
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    Well, I live by the rule of "He (or in this case she) who pays the bills makes the rules" You are stuck, and I personally don't think its worth the effort. However, I also believe in "what she doesnt know, won't hurt her."

    Sell the guns.

    Yup. Thats what I said.

    Sell them.

    Then this time keep your mouth shut and replace them.
    "Just blame Sixto"

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    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    My mother had those exact sentiments about handguns, but not rifles or shotguns. Somehow, she just thought that only bad things would come out of handguns, because they were made to kill people.... not for sporting purposes.

    One time, she called and asked if I could go out to the farm and watch it for 3 days. I told her sure, she said they wanted me to keep lights down or off and watch carefully, then she added..... "and be sure to take your guns with you" (3 x's). That's when I knew something more serious was up. I thought cattle rustlers, as there had been a lot of it going on at that time. Ended up there was a Satanic cult of dumb-bells going around mutilating bulls & cattle at night.... which they did not tell me. How I found that out, was ..... when I knew someone was out in the pasture messing with the cattle about 2 a.m...... and went out there with a big light and "guns", and had a meet up with them in the middle of the pasture, and when I called the Sheriff... he filled me in on who , what, etc.

    In other words, they are just afraid something bad will happen. They know you are young, and don't want anything stupid to happen. And, mine never really changed her mind about it, she dealt with it better and no longer said anything about it (after a few years).
    I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. --- Will Rogers ---
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    VIP Member Array NC Bullseye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PainCakesx View Post
    I'm certainly not trying to ruin my relationship with her - I'm more asking if there is anything I can maybe do to bring her to a more reasonable position.
    Look for a good NRA instructor close to her age (it helps if the instructor is her age or older many times. Some have a mental block to young whipper snappers) and pay for a basic pistol course. They approach it from the sporting issues such as target shooting and the like. It's hard line on safety and a great course for a new shooter.

    Be warned, you may have to support her shooting hobby down the road.

    Good luck!

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    Member Array whodog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SIXTO View Post
    Well, I live by the rule of "He (or in this case she) who pays the bills makes the rules" You are stuck, and I personally don't think its worth the effort. However, I also believe in "what she doesnt know, won't hurt her."

    Sell the guns.

    Yup. Thats what I said.

    Sell them.

    Then this time keep your mouth shut and replace them.
    I like that.

    My wife doesn't want my daughter, going for her Masters in Sept. and living alone for the 1st time to have a gun in her apt. I told my wife it didn't matter what I , or she, thinks... Being an adult, my daughter has that right to decide for herself. She will not carry in my house, though.

    But, not the same as you story, as my daughter is paying for most of her bills.

    BTW--- I bought her a gun, a TCP, and have taken her to the range, and will pay for her CCW, etc., and I couldn't be much happier about that!!!

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    Member Array paullie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SIXTO View Post
    Well, I live by the rule of "He (or in this case she) who pays the bills makes the rules" You are stuck, and I personally don't think its worth the effort. However, I also believe in "what she doesnt know, won't hurt her."

    Sell the guns.

    Yup. Thats what I said.

    Sell them.

    Then this time keep your mouth shut and replace them.

    what he said ^^^^^^^^^^

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    Member Array Buckj's Avatar
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    My mother does not like me carrying...lets just say concealed means concealed

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    Senior Member Array GreyGhost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SIXTO View Post
    Well, I live by the rule of "He (or in this case she) who pays the bills makes the rules" You are stuck, and I personally don't think its worth the effort. However, I also believe in "what she doesnt know, won't hurt her."

    Sell the guns.

    Yup. Thats what I said.

    Sell them.

    Then this time keep your mouth shut and replace them.
    Sixto is a very smart man!
    Question Everything!

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    Ex Member Array MadMac's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eagleks View Post
    One time, she called and asked if I could go out to the farm and watch it for 3 days. I told her sure, she said they wanted me to keep lights down or off and watch carefully, then she added..... "and be sure to take your guns with you" (3 x's). That's when I knew something more serious was up.
    Not trying to thread-jack here, but that sounds downright strange. If I read this correctly, your mother knew what was going on, and decided not to tell you the whole story. Yet she wanted you to take the risk of protecting the cattle.

    If your mom wants you to protect her possessions with your firearms at personal risk to yourself, I would think she owes you a complete rundown of what she knows. She was defining the solution (bring your guns) while keeping the potential threat a secret from you. Weird.

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