Etiquette Shmetiquette

This is a discussion on Etiquette Shmetiquette within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I don't know why, but this has been on my mind for some time now. No incidents, no close calls, nothing to get excited about, ...

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Thread: Etiquette Shmetiquette

  1. #1
    Member Array radshooter's Avatar
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    Etiquette Shmetiquette

    I don't know why, but this has been on my mind for some time now. No incidents, no close calls, nothing to get excited about, just thinking.

    I was raised to be a gentleman and open doors for ladies, especially my wife. This mainly pertains to the wife.

    Up until now, I have been opening the door and letting her go first. Then, I got to thinking....."what is on the other side of the door?" "Should I go first and check things out?"

    Not talking about doing a full-on tactical house-clearing entry, but just eyeballing things when I don't know what is there.

    For instance: Leaving a restaurant and going to the car. Do I be a gentleman and let her go out first, or should I go first and eyeball the parking lot as I exit, with her right behind me? What about entering an unfamiliar building? Or a familiar one for that matter? Who goes first?

    For some reason, this has really been bugging me lately. Just wondering how y'all handle the situation.

    Ladies, I would like your take on the situation also. My wife has a CCW, but does not carry. She says "That is what I have you for!"

    Hope this makes sense.

    Thanks.
    If you can't get out of it, you gotta get into it.

    My job requires me to be armed as much of the time as possible. No, I am not an operator or LEO of any kind. I am a husband and father.

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  3. #2
    VIP Member Array Guantes's Avatar
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    The vast percentage of places have clear glass doors that to a large extent eliminate the problem by allowing a view of the immediate area on the other side of the door. For the few that don't I am right behind, or virtually beside, her an I am looking beyond her to what lies ahead.
    Old School likes this.
    "I do what I do." Cpl 'coach' Bowden, "Southern Comfort".

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    VIP Member Array chiefjason's Avatar
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    Go out first, and hold the door. Most exits open outwards. Problem solved. Sorta. Or don't sweat it so much.
    I prefer to live dangerously free than safely caged!

    "Our houses are protected by the good Lord and a gun. And you might meet 'em both if you show up here not welcome son." Josh Thompson "Way Out Here"

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    Senior Member Array stanislaskasava's Avatar
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    If your wife is behind you when you are walking, then she's in your blind spot. I say keep her in front and teach her to look out for things.

    There's nothing wrong with etiquette.

  6. #5
    Senior Member Array canav844's Avatar
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    And if you're tall like me you can look right over her to keep an eye out.

    Glock Certified Armorer

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    Senior Member Array Tala's Avatar
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    Well I'm a lady and I tend to agree with all of the posters. Glass doors at most places, yup. Person with highest respect goes first, yup. I'm usually the one doing all the watching out so I walk in people's blind spots and watch everything else so that's where I think the "protector" is supposed to be. Oh, and I'm the short one so again, agreed there too, most people especially men can look right over me.
    I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them. -- John Wayne as John B. Books in "The Shootist"

  8. #7
    Senior Member Array wjh2657's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tala View Post
    Well I'm a lady and I tend to agree with all of the posters. Glass doors at most places, yup. Person with highest respect goes first, yup. I'm usually the one doing all the watching out so I walk in people's blind spots and watch everything else so that's where I think the "protector" is supposed to be. Oh, and I'm the short one so again, agreed there too, most people especially men can look right over me.
    I'm short too. All that means is that I can hide behind almost anybody. I melt into a crowd. Wife is shorter though so I still have problem as stated in post. I usually go out first and hold door for her.
    Retired Marine, Retired School Teacher, Independent voter, Goldwater Conservative.

  9. #8
    Distinguished Member Array claude clay's Avatar
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    observe shadows, listen for--whatever, look through the crack on the hinge side.
    if i cannot see through a door, i also make a habit of opening it about half way with my weak side hand to 'peek' past it.
    if its a revolving door i waiit for any crowd to disperse b4 i go through.
    one may also use their leading foot to give a dark door a bit of a push--look ma, no hands!
    Arthritis sucks big-big
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  10. #9
    Member Array Snider's Avatar
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    My wife is athletic and tall, but I'm over 6'4" with shoes on. I can see over her easily enough, and with most places having glass entry areas I can see pretty much everything within reason anyway.

    The one exception I'd make to opening doors for her is when we have our kids in our arms, and I enter the house first frequently because I have my keys out. That makes good sense to me from a security perspective, but it is really derived from practicality.

  11. #10
    Distinguished Member Array MinistrMalic's Avatar
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    You've misconstrued chivalry. A gentleman opens the door for a lady because he is a gentleman. That means that she goes in to the building (presumably the safer place) first; he opens the door for her and then follows. On the way out, he leads the way out, verifies that it is safe, and then continues to hold the door for her. He then gets her car door for her. In this manner he offers to be the first into and last out of any potential danger. That is chivalry. So what you're asking to do is the chivalrous thing. So do it!
    "...whoever has no sword is to sell his coat and buy one." (Luke 22:36)
    Christianity and Self Defense from a Biblical Perspective

  12. #11
    Senior Member Array RemMod597's Avatar
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    One thing i had to get used to when living in Germany is, the man enters first.
    That really went against my upbringing.
    Retiredonce likes this.


    The maximum effective range of an excuse is zero meters.

  13. #12
    VIP Member Array Thunder71's Avatar
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    For the most part I just go about my life, I try and be aware of my surroundings but don't let it run the way I do things. I've made the obvious changes and always do my best to keep my family out of harms way, but constantly worrying about what's on the other side of the glass door isn't something I'm going to be frantic about.

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    Senior Member Array Chief1297's Avatar
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    Here I am a gentleman and didnt even know it. Yes, I open and hold the door for my wife but as ole Trace would say "I love to watch her leave". Who knew?
    Equality does not exist in the real world - it is a fiction to help the self esteem of those people who consistently fail to succeed.
    Retired SF(SP) CMSgt 1979-2005

  15. #14
    VIP Member Array rammerjammer's Avatar
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    Remain a chivalrous gentleman and keep opening those doors like you have been. You have a greater chance of upsetting your significant other by changing what you're doing than you do of walking into a dangerous situation.
    "Was there no end to the conspiracy of irrational prejudice against Red Ryder and his peacemaker?"

    Revolvers, “more elegant weapons for a more civilized age.”

  16. #15
    Member Array radshooter's Avatar
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    Thanks for all of the replies. Y'all confirmed my thoughts of letting her go first, but being ever vigilant. Guess I will keep on keepin' on like I have been.

    Thanks again.
    If you can't get out of it, you gotta get into it.

    My job requires me to be armed as much of the time as possible. No, I am not an operator or LEO of any kind. I am a husband and father.

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