Claude: this is VERY WELL spoken. When a series of things "happen" at work, at church, etc, most of us normal folks want to believe the best about other folks, so we don't listen to that quiet little voice in the back of our heads that says: "there's something wrong here." Then, like the OP discovered, the "boom" is finally lowered and you get hammered. Hindsight is 20/20 isn't it. :mad: There's an old Army saying: "once is happenstance; twice is coincidence; the third time is the result of enemy action."
its human nature when there is a questionable moment--event, that we want to smooth it over; minimize it and hope it goes away. make nice. people who are basically good have difficulty accepting that the 'event' was intentionally malicious. they want to believe that it was a confluence of seemingly innocent items that came together to appear 'bad'; and that an excuse--though lame and left handed is sufficient for them to accept that it was indeed a innocent , though bad, event.
it takes multiple events for them to realize there is skulduggery afoot and by than it is already too late to make exact accusations cause time has passed and the players have shifted allegiances.
its hard to go back to the beginning yet that is what will work.
a legal team is required to scare the players straight. cause in the beginning they will hang together and it is these new lies that will drag the team down. there is a time and place for those we seem to loath. it is for her, now.