Rethinking My Decision To Carry

This is a discussion on Rethinking My Decision To Carry within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Welcome to the forum from another military retiree. I can understand your feelings of indecision on whether to carry or not. Whether you chose to ...

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  1. #16
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    Welcome to the forum from another military retiree.

    I can understand your feelings of indecision on whether to carry or not. Whether you chose to carry is a decision only you can make. It can be looked at as a double edged sword. If you don't carry and the need arises that you need it to defend yourself or your wife you may not survive it. On the other hand, if you do carry and need it, you have to face the emotional as well as possible legal ramifications of your actions.

    As has already been mentioned, training can make a big difference. Training not only in the proficiency aspect of carrying a gun, but also into the laws of the state your in.

    Good luck on your decision.
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  3. #17
    VIP Member Array automatic slim's Avatar
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    I understand your concern. However I've found that the way most SD shootings are handled depends much on which area of the country you're in. In NYC or LA I could see some handwringing, criminal coddling DA trying to appease the crime lobby by making an example of you. I would think things are different in Ole Miss. You should research the SD laws and see exactly where you stand. If feasible contact an attorney.
    "First gallant South Carolina nobly made the stand."
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  4. #18
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    I second those who say you are the kind of person the rest of us want to have a CC permit. With your service to the country, you know
    how to look at things from the aspect of some of your training and that puts you far ahead of a good many of us who do EDC.Welcome to
    the forum and MANY THANKS for your time in serving US(A).
    Chicken Little? Who the heck is Chicken Little? And what does she know, anyway?!

    " The will of the majority, the natural law of every society, is the only sure guardian of the rights of man." Thomas Jefferson.

  5. #19
    New Member Array dwpmusic's Avatar
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    Well, I must say that I appreciate the positive feedback I've received from everyone since my initial post this morning. Many good pieces of advice and all worthy of much consideration. I think some thought should be given to training and most importantly to legal ramifications. This would not be an issue if the first 15 minutes of every single nights local news didn't recount the latest murders, muggings, rapes, drive by shootings, forced entries, etc.

  6. #20
    Member Array BigBaddaBoom's Avatar
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    We, members of a concealed carry forum, are proponents of gun rights, carrying issues, etc. So for someone to just up and say "I'm not carrying anymore" is almost a form of blasphemy! .....What? How dare you? Who the hell you think you are?....etc, etc, etc

    Truth of the matter is, until a Man walks in your shoes he cannot with certainty say if you're making the right decision or not. While I do wish for you to reconsider, I will not second guess your decision and I respect you for it.

    Every member here will at a point in their life have to face the decision of if they should continue to carry or not. Maybe it will be because of age (eyesight, physical limitations, etc). Maybe it will be because of locale (accept job in state where there isn't CC). Or perhaps a hundred other reasons. Again...only the person at that juncture of life can make the decision. Good or bad, they are the one walking the path.....not us.


    I must add though.....always keep your concealed carry permit and renew it when the time comes. Nobody knows the future and what legislation may be passed at a later date. For example....your state may pass statutes that prevent granting any further CCPs, but "Grandfather" in previous recipients. I could go on about other examples, but I think you get the point. Don't let your permit lapse.....forever.
    Si vis pacem, para bellum
    "If you wish for peace, prepare for war"

  7. #21
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    Excellent posts above. This is why I joined the forum.
    I'm blessed with living in Texas where, for the most part, common sense rules concerning self defense. Does your state have the castle law?
    Those are real and relavent concerns you expressed and are some of the things I have mulled over myself.
    God help the person I am forced to draw my weapon on because it will be only in defense of myself or my loved ones. In 55 years of living I have never fired on a person outside of the military, but if a person decides the action is necessary there will be no indecision or self recrimination on my part. The other guy made the decision for me.

  8. #22
    New Member Array dwpmusic's Avatar
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    Spoken like a true Texan. And yes, Mississippi does have the Castle law. I am thankful for that.

  9. #23
    Distinguished Member Array MinistrMalic's Avatar
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    Welcome to the forum! And I applaud your decision to get more training and think long and hard about carrying. I did, and it began my process of writing the document that is hyperlinked in my signature line.

    For me, the logical end was which side I was more willing to make an error on. In other words, you always want to stay on the straight and narrow and do the right thing at the right time in the right way, but we all make mistakes. So which mistake was more acceptable? I guess at the end of the day for me, the idea of litigation or even incarceration, if that were to happen (God forbid!), is preferable to depriving my wife of her husband unnecessarily or living without my wife or one of my children when I could have done something.

    Now, I train a lot and think through these things and consider it all the time. So I would encourage you to do the same.
    "...whoever has no sword is to sell his coat and buy one." (Luke 22:36)
    Christianity and Self Defense from a Biblical Perspective

  10. #24
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    If it ever comes down to a situation where it's either kill or be killed, and you did everything to difuse the situation, you will walk away after they get your statement.

  11. #25
    New Member Array dwpmusic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MinistrMalic View Post
    Welcome to the forum! And I applaud your decision to get more training and think long and hard about carrying. I did, and it began my process of writing the document that is hyperlinked in my signature line.

    For me, the logical end was which side I was more willing to make an error on. In other words, you always want to stay on the straight and narrow and do the right thing at the right time in the right way, but we all make mistakes. So which mistake was more acceptable? I guess at the end of the day for me, the idea of litigation or even incarceration, if that were to happen (God forbid!), is preferable to depriving my wife of her husband unnecessarily or living without my wife or one of my children when I could have done something.

    Now, I train a lot and think through these things and consider it all the time. So I would encourage you to do the same.

    Thank you for you post and your thoughts. I will definitely read what you have posted in your link.

  12. #26
    Distinguished Member Array GunGeezer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dwpmusic View Post
    I've been around guns all my life. I'm never been an avid hunter but I've always felt comfortable and have owned a number of different guns for a lifetime. With the crime situation as it is in my city, I recently made the decision to obtain a carry permit for my wife and myself. I had started to do this a number of years ago and just never did it. I think it was a wise move but I'm now having reservations about my decision. From what I have been reading on this and other forums it's becoming apparent to me that in the event that you did have to use a gun to protect your life, the situation would have to be so absolutely cut and dried in your favor that it makes me wonder if it's the correct decision for me or my wife. I am a responsible and law abiding citizen and retired from the military with almost 30 years of service if that counts for anything. However,I do have the feeling that my wife or myself would be victims of, in my personal opinion, a criminal justice system which cares more for the rights of the criminal than the rights of the victims. I don't want to spend my retirement years in fear of being a victim but I don't want to have to be involved in ongoing civil or criminal litigation for the rest of my life. Hope I will arrive at the correct decision for me and mine. As Huckabee says, that's my opinion, I welcome yours.
    You have already taken the most important step that will help you make that decision. Joining a forum such as this and getting the opinions and expertise of those who have faced similar doubts and asked themselves similar questions.
    I personally feel exponentially better informed than I ever thought it possible from where I was after first getting my CCP until the time I have been a member of this forum. People here are friendly, thoughtful, helpful and genuinely concerned that each gun owner will carefully think about his or her responsibilities and yes, even the consequences, if the time ever comes for its use.
    I am not sure why there seems to be so much more violence and evil in the world today than there was over 60 yrs. ago when I was a boy. But I am sure, I can better deal with it knowing I have the right and means to protect myself and my loved ones until the madness stops.

  13. #27
    Senior Member Array Dennis1209's Avatar
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    Allot of good guys here and some great advice and encouragement given. I also had / have the very same concerns as you do. Having a honest debate with myself, I decided as a last ditch effort to save my life and / or the life of a loved one, a CCW handgun would be my last recourse of action. As we all know, Beaver Cleaver town and Mayberry R.F.D. were replaced by gang bangers, home invaders, murderers, etc. I bought some insurance from CHL to pay / assist with any legal fees incurred if the unthinkable ever occurs. There's a number of places you can purchase insurance to cover legal expenses should your gun leave your holster in public, the NRA being one of them. For me at least, it gives me a little more piece of mind. In my state there is a law that the BG's momma can't sue you if you were justified with your weapon. But like anything else, there's probably ways to get around that. Good luck!
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  14. #28
    Senior Member Array TSiWRX's Avatar
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    dwpmusic - As with the others here, first, thank you for your service.

    Second, again like the others, I firmly believe that YOU ARE just the person I would want to have a concealed-carry license/permit. That you, and others like you, are just the kind of good guys/gals I would want on my side, when things really go south.

    Quote Originally Posted by 2edgesword View Post
    You sound like exactly the type of person I would want to carry. An individual that has taken the time to think things through regarding the responsibility that goes with carrying a firearm for personal protection.
    - and -

    Quote Originally Posted by ConcealedG30 View Post
    I think the impotant thing that many over look is its to easy to get a cc permit. I think many people who have permits shouldn't have one due to lack of responsibility and training. Many cc permit holders don't use their weapons regularly or even think through scenairos that they may come across which may require them to use deadly force.

    I believe your the guy I want carring a gun.
    +1 to both of the above.

    It's often said that no good doctor sleeps through the night, that you're always afraid that you didn't do the exact right thing or have done enough/too-much.

    I'm not saying that my wife never gets a good night's sleep - she snores like a dragon sometimes - but in the years we've been together, she's also more than occasionally drifted off into thoughts of her patients or went off to look up something obscure.

    I think that when we know just how much responsibility we hold, we strive to do better, and I applaud you for your self-review.

    In the end, only you can decide what is right or wrong, for you. We all must weigh our own options, and I am of the firm belief that as long as another man or woman have processed their decisions in an adult, logical manner, then it is their decision.

    Quote Originally Posted by RockBottom View Post
    I can understand your concerns because I've had many of the same concerns myself. If I ever have to use my gun, it will be under circumstances where the threat of serious bodily injury or death to me will be so apparent and imminent that any jury of reasonable people will conclude that I had no other choice.
    As with RockBottom, I came to both firearms as well as legal concealed-carry after having thought, seriously, about the same concerns that you have. While I have been around firearms for most of my life (if only a "fun day" range trip once every two or even four years), I've never pursued it as a serious means of self/home protection (or even owned a firearm) until just this past November. Since then, I've shot tens of thousands of rounds in practice, and have started pursuing professional firearms training (currently, I have only 40 hours under my belt, but I'm committed to another 15 more in just the next two months). To coincide with this effort, I've also started seeking hand-to-hand and knife-combatives training, as well as started a physical fitness regimen. There was no single event that put me on this path: just a lot of late-night and early-morning self-meditation that made me come to the conclusion that "it's time."

    On one hand I balanced the fact that with these tools, I would be better able to protect myself and, much more importantly, my loved ones.

    On the other, in doing my due-diligence, I realized that our legal system leaves much to be desired for the use of such force/tools, even when it is clearly justified - and what's more, that there are other real-world implications of such actions, even when the outcome is otherwise a "won battle" (i.e. the case of XDTalk member ibwaldo is the perfect example). I actually joined my state legal concealed-carry community - Ohioans for Concealed Carry - several months before I pursued by Ohio-CCW/CHL, just so that I could learn more.

    Am I scared of the possible legal nightmares and other real-world fallout? I'd by lying if I said I wasn't.

    I'm Chinese by heritage, but I seem to remember learning about the Bushido code, that the Samurai would meditate on the worse imaginable scenarios of death while they found themselves most at-peace.

    To an extent, that was - and remains- my outlook: that I will have lost any fight if I needed to resort to any of what I am and will be training for.

    But I don't mean that I have a losing mindset - I'm fighting to win, to get my family to safety and to put the aggressor(s) down, and, one way or another, I *WILL* get that done.

    Rather, it's just that I've resigned myself to the fact that if push does come to shove, I am willing to live with the consequences of my actions.

    And that's what leads to:

    Quote Originally Posted by RockBottom View Post
    Even with that, there aren't any guarantees, but at least with a gun in your possession, you have a choice. Without one, you just become another victim.
    Quote Originally Posted by archer51 View Post
    I can understand your feelings of indecision on whether to carry or not. Whether you chose to carry is a decision only you can make. It can be looked at as a double edged sword. If you don't carry and the need arises that you need it to defend yourself or your wife you may not survive it. On the other hand, if you do carry and need it, you have to face the emotional as well as possible legal ramifications of your actions.
    That's precisely it. There's no guaranty, but at least having those tools at my disposal gives me options - options which I would not have, without those tools.

    Nevertheless, this is a deeply personal decision, and...

    Quote Originally Posted by SIXTO View Post
    Carrying is not for everyone. If I were in your shoes and had the fears you express here (and they are very legit and real concerns) I'd seek some before hand legal council or perhaps seek out some additional legal training pertaining to CCW. This might help set your mind at ease if you are fully educated on the situation- or it will convince you completely that CCW is not right for you. Either way, you will come out ahead.

    I do applaud your caution and not being a cowboy about this issue. It is very real and you need to address all your concerns now, before you get into a sticky situation.
    ...as with SIXTO, I believe that there are many considerations that need to be examined, and that the better you can work out these "sticking points" ahead of time, the more you have them settled in your mind, the less you will hesitate in those moments where every second you spend trying to figure out your options will affect the outcome of the engagement.

    Keep safe!

  15. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Black Knight View Post
    I have always heard that it is better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.
    Here is the decision you have to make...
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  16. #30
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    So many great responses in this thread.

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