I can't believe my brother acted like this.....

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Thread: I can't believe my brother acted like this.....

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array Spidey2011's Avatar
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    I can't believe my brother acted like this.....

    My brother asked me to come over today and help him clear out some stuff to make room for his 3rd kid (his wife is about 6 months pregnant). When I got there he was sitting in the front yard watching the kids play. I sat down next to him and we talked for a little bit before getting started. The topic steered towards guns and I mentioned my new 1911 and how nice it carried. He asked me if I had it on me and I told him yes (he's always been cool about guns and even owns a .380 himself, though he hasn't got his permit yet). He just freaked out and started screaming at me to put that thing back in my truck. I went back to the truck and unloaded it, and took it inside to put with his gun (this was pretty much to just get him to quit screaming in the streets about my gun). His exact words after that were, "The last thing I need is for you to pick up a chair and your gun go off and hit my kids." I just shook my head and asked him if he was really that stupid, and that while his POS cobra might do that, my 1911 would not. He just didn't seem to understand that my gun was safer in the holster than it was on the shelf. His wife, on the other hand, was cool with it and knows that I'm about as safe as possible when it comes to firearms.

    Now for a little background on the situation. One of the kids is from her ex, and he is a drunken piece of scum. Back when my brother just knew her as a co-worker, he had to go over to her house and throw this guy across the living room a few times because he was drunk and attempting to beat her. He has a very bad habit of just showing up to "see his son" and causing problems. In fact, this guy was the reason he bought the .380 in the first place. To top it all off, he's started hanging around our criminal half brother again, and a week ago the neighbors caught someone trying to break into their house. Basically there's just been a lot of problems recently that made me uncomfortable not carrying there.

    We were both raised around guns, he knew I had my permit and he was considering getting his, and he knows that I'm a certified 4H shooting sports instructor (rifle, pistol, and archery). The entire program is focused on safety, so that was beaten into our heads when we got our training. He's never had a problem with me carrying before, so I don't know what got into him. I'm thinking next weekend is going to include a day at the range with him and the kids. Kind of a safety demonstration and common sense kind of deal. It never hurts to familiarize the kids with gun safety anyway, which is something he apparently hasn't done much of. I kind of got the impression today that he just leaves the gun in the top cabinet and tells the kids that it's evil, which is something I am VERY displeased with. He should know better, and I think he needs someone to pull him back to the right side of the line.

    Anybody have any thoughts on how to go about this? I plan on showing him that none of my guns will fire until the trigger is pulled, and that it's physically impossible for the trigger to be pulled while it's in my holster. I also plan on doing the .45 vs watermelon demonstration for the kids. That always seems to make the little ones realize just what a gun can do.

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  3. #2
    VIP Member Array jwhite75's Avatar
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    Well sounds like maybe it was a combo of his ignorance to in a way to maybe he was having a bad day. My BIL was raised around guns but not handguns and is an avid hunter. He has 2 kids...5 and 2. He asked me one day how secure my holster was and if the trigger was covered. I told him yes on both accounts. He said he didnt want his kids playing and wrestling with me and getting their hands on the trigger. I assure him that would not happen in any way since my gun was under my shirt in an IWB in a good quality leather holster. He understood and left it alone.
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    VIP Member Array SIGguy229's Avatar
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    I probably would have left...and then called him back to tell him I would return when he started acting like an adult...and not a lunatic. I say this because I can say I could see this happening with my brother and his kids--all despite me carrying for years and having kids of my own. On top of that, you were there to help him move stuff, not play nursemaid to an adult.

    However, as I'm writing this, it makes me think there is something going on at your brothers house that you are not aware of--something between your brother and his wife based on your brother's irrational, emotional response.

    Just a thought....
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  5. #4
    VIP Member Array varob's Avatar
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    He might have been stressed out about having another mouth to feed, and just needed to vent a little.
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  6. #5
    Distinguished Member Array claude clay's Avatar
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    perhaps a bad day on his part but leaving a gun ( loaded, not withstanding...even unchambered as some are wont to do ---is against the law in most states. and if not the law, its against any sense, commen or otherwise. i can't tellua what to do with him , his attitude about others with guns (with a proper holster/retention a gun never 'falls out' and are drop safe anyways) and his having one ( or more?).
    there are some people for who the proximinity of a gun is more of a danger to them and their loved ones than not having. thats for you to see and figure a plan accordingly.
    as for the range....you are the one who is there, its so totally in your court.
    good luck.
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  7. #6
    Senior Member Array Spidey2011's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SIGguy229 View Post
    I probably would have left...and then called him back to tell him I would return when he started acting like an adult...and not a lunatic. I say this because I can say I could see this happening with my brother and his kids--all despite me carrying for years and having kids of my own. On top of that, you were there to help him move stuff, not play nursemaid to an adult.

    However, as I'm writing this, it makes me think there is something going on at your brothers house that you are not aware of--something between your brother and his wife based on your brother's irrational, emotional response.

    Just a thought....
    I probably should have left, but I really didn't think about it until his wife had already given me the OK to re-arm. I was more concerned with shutting him up so no one called the cops. If she hadn't, I probably would have left. Besides, I was more there doing a favor to his wife. She knew that if I helped him, the other brother would keep his distance. He knows that I see him for what he is, so typically steers pretty clear of me.

    I also thought that there might be something going on. I know that they've been fighting a lot about our half brother. He keeps giving him money and things, all the while his gas and anything left outside continues to disappear. She's already laid it out that she doesn't want him around the kids, but she's having a tough pregnancy and even a little bit of stress puts her out for a couple days, so she can't really fight him on it too much.

    Quote Originally Posted by varob View Post
    He might have been stressed out about having another mouth to feed, and just needed to vent a little.
    He's actually really excited about having another kid, so I doubt that had anything to do with it. Besides, I'm not too keen on my family taking things out on me, especially when I'm there to help him.


    Quote Originally Posted by claude clay View Post
    perhaps a bad day on his part but leaving a gun ( loaded, not withstanding...even unchambered as some are wont to do ---is against the law in most states. and if not the law, its against any sense, commen or otherwise. i can't tellua what to do with him , his attitude about others with guns (with a proper holster/retention a gun never 'falls out' and are drop safe anyways) and his having one ( or more?).
    there are some people for who the proximinity of a gun is more of a danger to them and their loved ones than not having. thats for you to see and figure a plan accordingly.
    as for the range....you are the one who is there, its so totally in your court.
    good luck.
    He's always been pretty comfortable around guns, so I just can't figure it out. My gun was unloaded for the whole 5 minutes it was up there, and it was in a secure cabinet that even his wife couldn't reach. He went downstairs and I re-armed while talking to his wife about his odd behavior.

  8. #7
    VIP Member Array 357and40's Avatar
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    I recently made the decision that if neither of my sisters wanted my weapon in their homes that I would need to find a different place to see them. They live in good neighborhoods, but that is not going to stop a BG.

    My life and that of my wife & child are more valuable than to place in the hands of chance.

    When my sisters approached me and told me my weapons were not welcome in their homes I explained that I would not be in their homes. I kept the discussion polite no matter how off the deep end they went. I kept my cool & relayed the recent story of a female police officer locally that was told by her friend to leave her weapon int he car. A few thugs broke in, killed the homeowner, shot the officer and left her for dead.... They are not changing their minds, but neither am I.

    It just is not worth it. I do not go anywhere unarmed that I can legally be armed. I will shop elsewhere if the sign is up banning CCW, I will invite them to my home if I can not carry in theirs, but I will find a way to be legally armed darn near everywhere I go.

    Be polite but do not compromise your life or safety.
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  9. #8
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    I'm doing him a favor by helping out he don't want me carrying he can find or hire some other help,One more thing is anybody that feels a need to go break up a domestic between a co-worker and their SO needs their head examined,thats what Cops are for,It's a great way to get killed or be charged with battery,you are in his residence and have no authority to lay your hands on him,if you are there when it starts it's a whole different ball game, than driving over there after it starts
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  10. #9
    Ex Member Array hamlet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spidey2011 View Post
    My brother asked me to come over today and help him clear out some stuff to make room for his 3rd kid (his wife is about 6 months pregnant). When I got there he was sitting in the front yard watching the kids play. I sat down next to him and we talked for a little bit before getting started. The topic steered towards guns and I mentioned my new 1911 and how nice it carried. He asked me if I had it on me and I told him yes (he's always been cool about guns and even owns a .380 himself, though he hasn't got his permit yet). He just freaked out and started screaming at me to put that thing back in my truck. I went back to the truck and unloaded it, and took it inside to put with his gun (this was pretty much to just get him to quit screaming in the streets about my gun). His exact words after that were, "The last thing I need is for you to pick up a chair and your gun go off and hit my kids." I just shook my head and asked him if he was really that stupid, and that while his POS cobra might do that, my 1911 would not. He just didn't seem to understand that my gun was safer in the holster than it was on the shelf. His wife, on the other hand, was cool with it and knows that I'm about as safe as possible when it comes to firearms.

    Now for a little background on the situation. One of the kids is from her ex, and he is a drunken piece of scum. Back when my brother just knew her as a co-worker, he had to go over to her house and throw this guy across the living room a few times because he was drunk and attempting to beat her. He has a very bad habit of just showing up to "see his son" and causing problems. In fact, this guy was the reason he bought the .380 in the first place. To top it all off, he's started hanging around our criminal half brother again, and a week ago the neighbors caught someone trying to break into their house. Basically there's just been a lot of problems recently that made me uncomfortable not carrying there.

    We were both raised around guns, he knew I had my permit and he was considering getting his, and he knows that I'm a certified 4H shooting sports instructor (rifle, pistol, and archery). The entire program is focused on safety, so that was beaten into our heads when we got our training. He's never had a problem with me carrying before, so I don't know what got into him. I'm thinking next weekend is going to include a day at the range with him and the kids. Kind of a safety demonstration and common sense kind of deal. It never hurts to familiarize the kids with gun safety anyway, which is something he apparently hasn't done much of. I kind of got the impression today that he just leaves the gun in the top cabinet and tells the kids that it's evil, which is something I am VERY displeased with. He should know better, and I think he needs someone to pull him back to the right side of the line.

    Anybody have any thoughts on how to go about this? I plan on showing him that none of my guns will fire until the trigger is pulled, and that it's physically impossible for the trigger to be pulled while it's in my holster. I also plan on doing the .45 vs watermelon demonstration for the kids. That always seems to make the little ones realize just what a gun can do.
    Well, before doing anything why not talk to him, ask him about his reaction. You don't know what it's about yet.

  11. #10
    Member Array Keisukekun's Avatar
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    I have had some issues with some family members as well. Most annoying and perplexing is my wife. I finally got my CCW and have been carrying everywhere i legally can. She has been raised around guns all her life and was happy about me getting it and wants to get her own one day as well. Now that I have it though its always "why do you have to take that its not liek someones gonna go crazy in (insert random place here)." Ive tried reasoning with here and so has her mom who also carries everywhere but im at the point where I just ignore her on that issue.

  12. #11
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    I'd avoid those relatives, sibling or not. He'll be coming around, after the first robbery or home invasion, to ask you how to get his permit.
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    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
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    I would have put it back in the truck alright...with me attached to it as we headed back down the road. I wouldn't have said squat or shown my hind quarters or anything. Quietly and calmly left. He could move furniture by himself. If or when he called to say, "Oh, come on man..." I would have had the "it is safer on my person properly retained in a quality holster than anywhere else and its not going off by itself" talk. If he said, "you're right, that's cool" then I would have gladly returned and helped with anything he needed for as long as he needed...no apology necessary. Some may agree or not, but I'm not hanging around listening to unreasonable freaking out. I'm too old to put up with crap, even from family (plus, my family knows me well enough to know that's how I would react to it).

    Hope you have some time with him and his kids to get things on the right track with gun safety and experience. Hope it all turns out well.
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  14. #13
    Distinguished Member Array INccwchris's Avatar
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    Really guys, is having a gun on you so important that having it is more important than being able to visit family?
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    Quote Originally Posted by INccwchris View Post
    Really guys, is having a gun on you so important that having it is more important than being able to visit family?
    Well, you haven't met any of my family.
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  16. #15
    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INccwchris View Post
    Really guys, is having a gun on you so important that having it is more important than being able to visit family?
    From the OP - "He just freaked out and started screaming at me to put that thing back in my truck."

    THAT is the part that would have sent me quietly back from which I came. Not as much the firearm issue, but the freaking out and screaming. Treat me like that, and I'm leaving. Period. I've done it more than once with my family and otherwise and the subjects were not firearm related. I'm just not listening to someone having a hissy fit and I'm not going to engage in that behavior back. I'm just going to quietly remove myself from the situation until we can converse like adults.
    Mr B and SIGguy229 like this.
    Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
    No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.


    Guns are like sex and air...its no big deal until YOU can't get any.

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