Scenario: controlling anger after accidental injury to your child - Page 2

Scenario: controlling anger after accidental injury to your child

This is a discussion on Scenario: controlling anger after accidental injury to your child within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Emotions can overtake most any of us and its certainly a consideration when carrying. Even as a peace officer I found myself tipping the scale ...

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Thread: Scenario: controlling anger after accidental injury to your child

  1. #16
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    Emotions can overtake most any of us and its certainly a consideration when carrying. Even as a peace officer I found myself tipping the scale a few times and it wasn't pretty. Fortunately, there wasn’t cell cams back then and political correctness was just a theory.
    “Monsters are real and so are ghosts. They live inside of us, and sometimes they win.”
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  2. #17
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    Not being a parent, I can only assume that the emotion that might control you in a situation like this would be grief. Anger would have to take a back seat to concern for your child.
    "Historical examination of the right to bear arms, from English antecedents to the drafting of the Second Amendment, bears proof that the right to bear arms has consistently been, and should still be, construed as an individual right." -- U.S. District Judge Sam Cummings, Re: U.S. vs Emerson (1999)

  3. #18
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    I just looked into my two kids eyes, If it happened I would ensure there safety and turn my attention to the driver. My gun would have nothing to do, with what I would do. In my heart of hearts, the line is crossed when the babies are involved.
    Don"t let stupid be your skill set....

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  4. #19
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    Thanks, everyone, some good thoughts here. There is a kind of "mental partitioning" that seems to happen when you really try to think as carefully as possible about responsible gun ownership. I have found that reading extensively on this site has helped me do a lot of that, and this thread is a good example. Thanks for taking the time to respond.

  5. #20
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    I hate to say it but, I would have to acquire a taste for prison food and ask "Bubba" to please treat me gentle.

  6. #21
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    My first concern will of course be first aid for my child. I don't think there would be time for anything BUT focus on that first aid.

    I think, having been in a bad accident myself, I would focus ALL of my attention on the child... the idiot could scream all he wants... I probably won't even hear him... I will be yelling for someone to call 911, but rendering aid until they arrive will be the "compartment" in which all of my focus will be.

    It will take some time for the anger to take hold... I hope that in the meantime my child is recovering. In a personal injury accident, LEO will get information from any and all witnesses, including myself... Honestly, I cannot guarantee that my powers of observation will have included the tag of the car... so I hope he doesn't leave the scene... I might, given time, make the 911 call myself... on speaker.
    Rats!
    It could be worse!
    I suppose

  7. #22
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    A situation like this would give me cause to curse myself for getting a ccw in the first place. I'm armed so I know the last thing I could do is what I want to do. That is to pull the jerk out of the car & do a mexican hat dance on his worhless hide!

    Since I got my concealed carry licence I don't know how many times a careless rude driver has made just suck up my anger as I tell myself "you can't let this escalate, calm down".

    Must be what the quote " An armed society is a polite society" is all about.
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  8. #23
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    The fact is a car can be used as a deadly weapon.

    Ask any LEO.

    Whether one is justified shooting someone who is driving stupid and who maybe a threat to them is another matter.

    I suspect in such a situation most people of reasonable means would differentiate your role as a citizen and not an LEO. Specifically that your duty is to retreat or avoid such situations and to call 911 to report such driving.

    Now if they follow you and try to run you over for calling the law, etc..

  9. #24
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    Granted, I am not a parent.

    But when your only tool is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

    I would think that rendering aid to your child, and being a good witness (memorizing the car make/model and plate), would take precedence, but maybe that is just me.
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    Fortes Fortuna Juvat

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  10. #25
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    His ranting and anger is your weapon. Make sure to write down everything he said and his actions. Get all witnesses names. In court later make sure prosecutor (they will cooperate with you) brings out that he had no remorse and took no culpability for accident. That factor will go a long way against him in court. It could mean the difference between a ticket and jail time.

    " When a man drives you to anger- he wins, he has taken control of you."
    " Revenge is a dish best served cold."
    (Both old Sicilian adages)
    Retired Marine, Retired School Teacher, Independent voter, Goldwater Conservative.

  11. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ishmael View Post
    Thanks for your input, everyone. To clarify: I'm not asking what the right thing to do is in this situation, I'm asking what sort of thinking any of you might have done about how NOT to do the wrong things out of the purest, strongest anger I can imagine experiencing. I guess each person must work out their own techniques for this, but it seems like a situation where being armed could be a real liability due to the quite justified rage you would be experiencing.
    I'm glad that you are examining this for yourself.

    IMO, if you dont think you can control yourself, leave the gun at home. In this case, YOU would be the liability if you couldnt control your actions and you endanger the rights of all others who exercise their 2A rights.

    It's not like you are alone in feeling this way. I mean, people, usually men, get out of their vehicles and kill each other all the time over perceived insults while driving. People who cannot manage their anger.

    I agree that the extremis of seeing your child harmed or killed could make anyone feel that way....the point is....as a gun carrier, you need to KNOW that you would not resort to using it. I think that this should be as much a part of training as shooting your weapon....working on exercising good judgement under stress. We had something similar in park ranger training.
    Fortune favors the bold.

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    The thing about "defense" is that it has practically nothing to do with guns. (As passed on by CCW9MM)

  12. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by 9MMare View Post
    I think that this should be as much a part of training as shooting your weapon....working on exercising good judgement under stress.
    Couldn't have said it better. I think that this, ultimately, was my point in posting. To be clear, this all came up as a mental exercise when I was challenging myself to think of the situation when it would be MOST difficult to control oneself, as opposed to an "insult in the street" situation. I think people are right to point out that the controlling emotion would be grief and concern/rendering assistance. (And also, to be clear, my questions about the person not seeming remorseful or being drunk were just intended to add to the "things that would make someone mad" elements, not as grounds for producing a weapon. What I was asking was: do you think you could control your anger EVEN IF they did these things? Because of course you would need to: as many people pointed out, this is simply not a S/D situation.

  13. #28
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    I have found my EMT training kicks in; I do what need to be done. The injured (my child or not) needs trama care and an ambulance ASAP! The jerk had best hope the LEO get there before EMS. I tend to get a bit wierd after dealing with bad situation; usually Epi drain but anger is a strange thing. Not saying i would do a thing.

  14. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by 9MMare View Post
    It's not like you are alone in feeling this way. I mean, people, usually men, get out of their vehicles and kill each other all the time over perceived insults while driving. People who cannot manage their anger.
    I doubt gender has anything to do with it. I've seen plenty women with HORRIBLE road rage.

    In a situation like this, the best thing to do is take care of the injured family member until the emt's get there. If you feel like beating the snot out of the driver at that point, I wouldn't blame you. I wouldn't shoot him, but he certainly wouldn't be a happy camper. Accidents do happen, and you have to remember that, but a clearly distracted/impaired driver that shows no remorse for his actions is not an accident.

  15. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spidey2011 View Post
    I doubt gender has anything to do with it. I've seen plenty women with HORRIBLE road rage.

    .

    Interesting, I never have, nor seen them on the news. But I'm sure it happens.
    Fortune favors the bold.

    Freedom doesn't mean safe, it means free.

    The thing about "defense" is that it has practically nothing to do with guns. (As passed on by CCW9MM)

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