Need ammo... For a debate with the wife!

Need ammo... For a debate with the wife!

This is a discussion on Need ammo... For a debate with the wife! within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Hello! Hopefully this hasn't been beaten to death in the past. Anyway, I'm moving from Iowa... a town that has become more and more dangerous ...

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Thread: Need ammo... For a debate with the wife!

  1. #1
    Member Array Pinlifter's Avatar
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    Need ammo... For a debate with the wife!

    Hello!


    Hopefully this hasn't been beaten to death in the past.


    Anyway, I'm moving from Iowa... a town that has become more and more dangerous (Hearing gunplay in the nicer neighborhoods some nights) to the DFW Metroplex. I am at best a novice when it comes to firearms and have not shot anything in about 15 years.


    Anyway... small town back country iowa boy moving to the big city, I feel the need for protection. I have been having this conversation with my wife for some time.


    She is all about the idea of having a gun around, but it must be locked in a safe, hidden away in some obscure corner of the house, unloaded, and stored away from any ammunition. Sounds like a good policy, but I'm more interested in home and self defense. I don't hunt, so that would pretty much make any guns in my house, exclusively range weapons. I believe that I have determined that there is no perfect solution for quick access to a shotgun in the middle of the night and to ensure that my kids (ages 6, 4, 2, 1) could not possibly locate the weapons (she doesn't even want the kids to know that a weapon is in the house for fear that my 6 year old will try to locate it).

    Anyway, I went into all of that so that I could go into this: I intend on getting a compact semi-automatic for concealed carry. Safety is my utmost priority and I intend to take several private lessons with many different types of weapons before even attempting the Texas CCW course. I'm probably going to use Shoot Smart in Fort Worth. Anyway, Concealed carry is absolutely out of the question in her eyes because she is just positive that one of my kids will manage to not only find the weapon on me, but get it away from me without my knowledge, AND fire it at a sibling. I think that is just a nice way of her telling me that she doesn't think that I would lock it up anytime I'm not wearing it .

    I need some ammo to help me win this battle


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array farronwolf's Avatar
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    Take a look at this small safe.

    There is no more room at the Inn.

    If the gun isn't on you, keep it in something like this.

    Does your wife worry about your children removing your wallet without you knowing? Does she keep all of the kitchen knives in a safe?

    The other thing you need to do is take your kids shooting with you and teach them gun safety. You can get so Eddie Eagle material and start there. My son has been shooting with us since before he could walk. If he sees a gun laying on the table (no I don't make a habit of leaving guns laying around, and they are never loaded), he thinks nothing more of it than anything else in the house.

    Good luck.

    Oh, and welcome to the forum and welcome to Texas when you get here.
    msgt/ret and Doodle like this.
    Just remember that shot placement is much more important with what you carry than how big a bang you get with each trigger pull.
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  3. #3
    Member Array Eaglebeak's Avatar
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    You have a very sound reason for being armed at home and while out and about in the DFW area because, in just a few short miles, you can drive through Beverly Hills, Sioux City, Oakland, Martha's Vineyard, Harlem, Tijuana, and Baghdad where some of the best and worst of people and neighborhoods can quickly change within a few blocks of each other.

    You also have a very difficult task in trying to be prepared when there is the constant worry of children running amock in the house. Keeping a firearm unloaded and locked away is akin to keeping your seat belts, motorcycle helmet, or parachute locked away because, if you're not wearing them at the time you need them, then you may as well not have them at all.

    Your only "ammo" to use with the wife will be to draw upon an equal analogy of something she uses daily or carries around that would be extremely dangerous in a kid's hands (blow-dryer left plugged in, kitchen knives, toxic cleaning supplies, hair dye, etc.) or something that would be terribly embarrassing/humiliating (I'll leave that up to you) if the kids ever found it or saw it - and ask if she would ever "forget" to secure or hide whatever it may be.

    Check these little goodies out for a "biometrics pistol safe"

    http://www.buyasafe.com/Gun-Safes-s/...FcTD7QodGUEv_Q

    They will keep a handgun (loaded and ready for action) in a small safe that takes only the swipe of your finger across the "reader" to instantly open - yet be totally impervious to opening by anyone else (kids, wife, dog, or burglar).

    Good luck

  4. #4
    Member Array Pinlifter's Avatar
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    Excellent! Thank you for the fast responses!

    Wish I could carry at work, but the only ones who can are the company police and federal agents who *might* be nearby and my job takes me into some of the rougher neighborhoods around Dallas in the middle of the night. A co worker not far away was shot in the face for not giving up his 4 wheeler and attempting to subdue his assailant with a very large wrench.



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    Have her read this website it should allay some of her fears.

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    Distinguished Member Array Chaplain Scott's Avatar
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    An additional idea here--people are frightened by what they don't know. Enroll your wife in the same firearms course you took, or something similar--let her become proficient with a handgun also, so that its NOT scary anymore--then look up Bark'n (a long-time member of this forum), he has a link in his signature tag-line to the audio recordings of one of the psychopaths that tortured, raped and killed the family of the east coast doctor--and let your wife listen to that audio file...........
    archer51 and msgt/ret like this.
    Scott, US Army 1974-2004

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    As others have said. Educated your children about guns. They are never to young to be taught gun safety. Tailor what you teach to their ages.

    Also as Chaplin Scott said, take your wifee with you to traing. Get her familiar with guns and the safe ahdling of them. Once she understands a gun is nothing more than a tool she might just come around.

    You might also point out that your children stand a much greater chance of being killed or injured by a car.

    According to the National Center for Statistics and Analysis (NCSA), nearly 250,000 children are injured every year in car accidents.

    Read more: Children & Car Accidents; the Alarming Statistics
    Of the 250,000 kids injured each year, approximately 2,000 die from their injuries.

    Read more: Children & Car Accidents; the Alarming Statistics
    Does she have the same concerns about how you store your car keys? Is she afraid your children (especially the 6 year old) might find them and try to "play" drive. Accidentally start the car and put it in gear. They see dad and mom do it all the time. It's easy and nothing bad ever happens.

    The only way to get past her irrational fear is education and patience.
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    Distinguished Member Array 4my sons's Avatar
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    I agree with educating her, try to get some discussions going on safe handling, then maybe work up to handling one of your handguns with no ammo around, just to acquaint her with it and how it works. Then try to work in some range time, it must be at her pace. Don't be pushy, but let her know that it's important to you.

    Also, as a woman, she may be interested in the case in my signature if the discussion touches on relying solely on Law Enforcement at any point.
    "fundamental principle of American law that a government and its agents are under no general duty to provide public services, such as police protection, to any individual citizen." [Warren v. District of Columbia,(D.C. Ct. of Ap., 1981)]
    If I have to explain it, you wouldn't understand

  9. #9
    Member Array Ishmael's Avatar
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    Agree with involving her in training. Tell her (1) you are glad she agrees you should have a gun in the house but (2) YOU won't feel comfortable unless you BOTH get training. Then, make sure you find a trainer who is very reasonable, calm, and compelling, and maybe slip him some of your wife's concerns ahead of time. (I'd be surprised if he doesn't mention the concept that perhaps the safest place for a gun is on your hip, because you KNOW where it is/condition it's in, etc. As for when they're in the safe.... are you SURE you locked it.... better go check....) The more she understands about how a gun works, the less frightening it might seem.

  10. #10
    Distinguished Member Array RevolvingMag's Avatar
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    I don't think I can give you any better advice than what the previous posters have already mentioned. My mother was a little worried about my bringing home my first gun, but she accepted it, and she got comfortable with it.

    My wife- fiancee at the time- felt much more comfortable when we finally moved in together and I brought my guns. It is amazing how comforting that cold piece of steel can be.

    But, our roommate- before she moved in with us- first saw my gun when I was cleaning it after a trip to the range freaked out. "OH MY GOD!! IS THAT A GUN?!!" And, in a perfectly calm voice- WITH a straight face- I responded 'No, it's a potato peeler." I showed her that it was unloaded, told her she could hold it and she refused. Now that she lives with us, she's seen all my guns 'laying around' (I always have them close at hand- sometimes on the table beside the couch so I can get to it more easily than if it were in my pocket). But, never left unattended. She used to leave the room in a hurry. Now she glances at it, and then proceeds to ignore it.

    It's just a matter of acclimation. Once it becomes a household fixture, nobody will pay it any mind.

    Good luck, and stay safe.
    "Rock and load, lock and roll... what's it matter? FIRE!!"

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    Please take everything I say with at least one grain of salt- I am a very sarcastic person with a very dry sense of humor.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Array adric22's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinlifter View Post
    She is all about the idea of having a gun around, but it must be locked in a safe, hidden away in some obscure corner of the house, unloaded, and stored away from any ammunition. Sounds like a good policy, but I'm more interested in home and self defense. I don't hunt, so that would pretty much make any guns in my house, exclusively range weapons. I believe that I have determined that there is no perfect solution for quick access to a shotgun in the middle of the night and to ensure that my kids (ages 6, 4, 2, 1) could not possibly locate the weapons (she doesn't even want the kids to know that a weapon is in the house for fear that my 6 year old will try to locate it).
    I have been round and round on this argument with my wife for years. I have had to make some compromises. Right now I keep my home defense gun in a small finger-print access safe on my night stand. It takes about 2 seconds to get access to the gun. I've tried to convince my wife to let me unlock the safe at night, but keep the door closed so it looks like it is locked. But she is afraid our daughter might some how learn that the safe is unlocked at night, sneak into our bedroom, grab the gun and do who knows what with it.

    Anyway, I went into all of that so that I could go into this: I intend on getting a compact semi-automatic for concealed carry. Safety is my utmost priority and I intend to take several private lessons with many different types of weapons before even attempting the Texas CCW course. I'm probably going to use Shoot Smart in Fort Worth. Anyway, Concealed carry is absolutely out of the question in her eyes because she is just positive that one of my kids will manage to not only find the weapon on me, but get it away from me without my knowledge, AND fire it at a sibling. I think that is just a nice way of her telling me that she doesn't think that I would lock it up anytime I'm not wearing it .
    I live in the Southern part of Ft.Worth but I drive all of the way to the Northern part to go to Shoot Smart. I definitely think it is one of the best ranges in the Ft.Worth area. It is new, clean, and the employees are actually very nice and friendly. Many of the other ranges around here seem to hire jerks to work there. I took my most recent CHL class at Shoot Smart too.

    I'm not sure what you can tell the wife as far making her feel comfortable with you carrying a loaded weapon. Perhaps you could make some compromises, such as agreeing to carry the gun without a round in the chamber, to prevent some kind of accident. Find out if your little ones even have the physical strength to chamber a round. Mine can't. My 8 year old cannot cycle the slide on my Glock 19 with all of her might. So if carried without a round in the chamber, it would be a pretty hard argument to say that the child would be able to take the gun from you, rack the slide, and shoot their sibling before you'd be able to intervene. If she agreed to that, maybe after a year or so went by with no incident, you could convince her to move up to carrying chambered.

    Otherwise, the best thing to do is take her to the range and have her shoot. That is what I did. Once my wife became more comfortable with guns and understood better how they worked, she eventually got her own CHL and now carries one herself. It may take a year or two, just make sure she goes to the range with you once a month or so and learns to shoot guns. In time she may change her mind.
    "Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws." -Plato

  12. #12
    Senior Member Array BRTCP88's Avatar
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    It's OMO and I really don't have any business butting in as at the moment I am neither a firearms owner or a parent, but do have younger siblings and have thought about how I would handle this issue when I do eventually purchase my first gun.

    I believe it's a mistake to try and keep the guns hidden from your kids. Instead, you should allow them to handle them safely in your presence. Demystify your guns. Make a big deal of hiding what's in the safe and eventually they are going to get curious and figure out how to get into it. Then they will have no knowledge of how to safely handle a gun and if you ever forget to unload them, there will be disastrous consequences.

    Or what if they are visiting a relative/friend who also has guns? You cannot control the actions of others or their children, but you can instruct your kids how to react when one of their friends suggests that they go play with their dad's .38 in the bedroom.

    My parents decided when I was a baby to get rid of my Dad's hunting firearms, but both my grandfathers and two uncles all had guns that were loaded for protection. Their purge of the house would have been for nought if I had found the loaded .45 that my Grand-dad kept by the cash register in his Pharmacy.

    I'm not saying don't lock them up when not in use, but if your kids are properly exposed to firearms, having them loaded (whether inside the safe or on your hip) will not be a problem. It will be as boring to them as the steak knives or laundry detergent.
    ironmike86 and limatunes like this.
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  13. #13
    Senior Member Array ironmike86's Avatar
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    Yup and when they are old enough let them shoot. Get rid of the curiosity. When they play with them is when ppl get hurt. But I would still lock them up and have a small safe by my bed for quick access.
    BRTCP88 likes this.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Array BRTCP88's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ironmike86 View Post
    Yup and when they are old enough let them shoot. Get rid of the curiosity. When they play with them is when ppl get hurt. But I would still lock them up and have a small safe by my bed for quick access.
    This is true. My granddad (not the Pharmacist, my dad's dad who raised horses) let me play with his Colt Peacemaker and I pinched my thumb on the hammer. LOL. But seriously, you're right and if more people realized that there would be a lot less dead kids.
    Ron Paul 2012

    There are three kinds of Yankees: Yankees, Damn Yankees, and Floridians

  15. #15
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    I graduated High School in Centerville Ia. still have relatives there,
    I would take the Tx CHL class as soon as possible,it will take up to 60 days to get your license,and at least if your not ready to carry yet you will have the license when you are,get your wife involved,I'm sure there are gun ranges that have things like ladies night out where women can shoot and discuss different ways to carry with each other.
    In Texas you don't need a CHL to have a concealed handgun in your vehicle,and they just signed the employer parking lot bill which basically states an employer cannot prevent you from having a concealed handgun in your vehicle even on company property.
    In case of a Home Invasion etc you will most likely not have enough time to open a gun safe grab a weapon,load the weapon and then be ready to defend your home,a gun vault to keep a loaded handgun in is much more accessible.
    Usually a fear of guns is a lack of knowledge and further fueled by all the anti-gun ,guns are bad crowd.
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

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