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dont ask dont tell

3K views 33 replies 30 participants last post by  walleye 
#1 ·
Lesson learned about non family members and carry.

A very good friend of mine is really the only other person that knows I carry other than family members.

We are thinking about going in to partnership .

My friend told me other day that if we do this he dosnt want me carrying in the business.

I was shocked on this and not ok with this .

Moral of story for me moveing foward no one else will ever know.

If anyone else out side family ask my comment will be Oh heck no Guns are dangerous.
 
#4 ·
I would definitely lose the "heck no, guns are dangerous" line. Beyond that, better to discover the deal-breaker before it is made.
 
#10 ·
This right here...50/50 you can do what you want.
 
#6 ·
If you can't come to an agreement on this, I would say don't enter into the partnership. If something like this stirs the water, when money or other things come into play the partnership or relationship is doomed to fail. Better to not get into it than to get started and end up with lengthy legal troubles or someone walking all over you and your money or labor.

Good luck with your decision.
 
#7 ·
My response would have been "yeah, uh huh. Okay", an eyeroll, and on to the next order of business. My carrying is not an option, and the friends of mine that know I carry know that as well.

If people know you never compromise your principles, they're surprisingly accepting of your decisions.
 
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#9 ·
I've been an accountant for a very long time. Partnerships are like a marriage, and both partners need to have the same values, and have to be pretty much on the same page with
about everything. Better to find out about his dislike for you carrying now than later. A partnership gone bad is worse than any bad marriage you have ever seen......they suck big time.
Been involved in way too many business dissolutions for the most ridiculous of reasons. Very good businesses are destroyed due to minor differences in opion on the weirdest topics, and your
difference of opinion on carrying in your business??? A total deal breaker. Move on.

Like 357and40 said: Time to find a new partner.
 
#11 ·
Obviously, there is a fairly deep divide between you. Something to consider before investing a lot of time/money/effort with this person. As has been said by others in this thread: time for a new partner.
 
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#12 ·
You could always draw a line of duct-tape down the middle of the business.... Your side, carry friendly / his side...
 
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#14 ·
It sounds to me like a sign of things to come. If partners aren't in full agreement--it's not a partnership, regardless of percents of ownership.

The carrying of a weapon is a personal issue, not a business issue. If it becomes one, things will go downhill quickly if not resolveable. are you prepared to conceed?
 
#16 ·
It's obvious who wants to be controlling partner, if he's already laying down rules. Tell him his terms are not acceptable and go from there.
 
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#17 ·
Compatible values, interests, skills, needs and lifestyle preferences required for ANY colaboration to work well. as in win-win, IMO.

I personally could not go forward with the partnership.
 
#19 ·
Forget how he feels about guns.

There are far too many problems with partnerships in general to ever enter into one. I've been in a couple and they never work. If it's not a problem between you and the other partner it will be a problem between you and his wife, father, son, cousin...just fill in the blank. Partnerships are the same as marriage. You don't just marry the partner, you marry him and everybody else in his family. Partnerships should be avoided like the plague.

If you really want to go into business go into business by yourself. You can take all of the credit for your successes and all of the blame for your failures.
 
#21 ·
I'd never let somebody dictate my safety options (or lack thereof) to me. It's simply not their call.

I'd also like to strongly echo the advice another poster who said that partnerships are to be avoided like the plague.
 
#22 ·
I have been thinking about this thread quite a bit (some personal things have brought me back to this thread again). For some reason "Words of Advice for Young People" by William S. Burroughs keeps coming to mind. I am not 100% certain that the part of it I am about to quote is the reason, but every time I think about this thread, it is what hits me. The rest of the poem does have quite a bit of profanity, so be warned that if you search for it in Google, expect to see words that some may find offensive.

William S. Burroughs "Words of Advice for Young People" one stanza said:
Now some of you may encounter the Devil's Bargain,
If you get that far.
Any old soul is worth saving,
At least to a priest,
But not every soul is worth buying.
So you can take the offer as a compliment.
He tries the easy ones first.
You know like money,
All the money there is.
But who wants to be the richest guy in some cemetary?
Money won't buy.
Not much left to spend it on, eh gramps?
Getting too old to cut the mustard.
 
#23 ·
You could always tell him that you don't want to enter into a partnership unless he stops listening to country music, or unless he stops watching Steven Segall movies, or unless he stops wearing denim jackets. The idea of the partnership being dependent on you not carrying is just as ridiculous as any of these prerequisites.

Take Dave Ramsey's advice. If you are seeing warning flags this early, trust your gut. Those flags are there for a reason. It sounds like a partnership with this individual would not be a good thing for you or your family.
 
#24 ·
Need to ask your partner after informing him/her of your right to carry (along with you stance on it) and if that bothered 'em enough to not want to continue your partnership then you have your answer. Putt he ball in their court. You shouldn't change yourself for the other. Also don't presume the worst and how they'll react until you put the ball in their shoes. If they care for you regardless they'll look past this, respect your decision (may not agree with it, but will not try change you) and still be with you.

And if they don't want to be with you. Then at least you have your answer. You are still doing something that you want and you will not be in a relationship 3 years from now bickering over the same issue because by now they thought you would've changed.
 
#26 ·
I train and promote the safe use of defensive tools. All my family, friends, and acquaintances know that I'm armed but concealed at all times. I see the tide of attitude changing towards acceptance. Nevertheless, I would never for a moment consider forming a serious relationship with an anti, nor would I hold my breath waiting for facts and logic to reform a liberal, controlling mindset. Startup partnerships, like love at first sight, can be blind to irreconcilable differences. You take your safety responsibly, and he disrespects your unalienable right. What else could possible go wrong?
 
#27 ·
Your prospective partner may be concerned with Liability if it's a business and cost of Liability Insurance - that I know nothing about including if it's a legitimate concern - but it might be.

That might be different. Anything else though:

Aside from the gun thing, make sure that is not symptomatic of future problems about many things.

A good friend of mine hooked up with someone who would be the "business director" half of a partnership. My friend needs this type of partner badly - he is very talented in design and production but hopeless as far as finance etc. BUT: this partnership was one from Hell after a short while and degenerated into PHYSICAL FIGHTS after 20 years of constant disagreements. And it was 50-50, each person trapped in it.

Finally a short while ago my friend - in the middle of some huge blowup - sold his half to the other. It was that or an early death from stress.

BE CAREFUL! For general reasons. You don't need a problem partner - so think long and hard and talk with him long and hard before anything is signed. Much better to make a wise decision NOW.
 
#29 ·
To me, it seems like he is basically peeing in the corner and marking his territory, lready trying to get the upper hand. So, carrying aside, for that reason, I think that perhaps another partner is the best option. What is next? Telling you what vehicle you need to drive? Move on dude. Good friends don't necessarily make good business partners.
 
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