Thanksgiving family advice PLEASE!? - Page 2

Thanksgiving family advice PLEASE!?

This is a discussion on Thanksgiving family advice PLEASE!? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Respect is a two-way street...

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Thread: Thanksgiving family advice PLEASE!?

  1. #16
    VIP Member Array SIGguy229's Avatar
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    Respect is a two-way street
    Magazine <> clip - know the difference

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  2. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by SIGguy229 View Post
    Respect is a two-way street
    Like I just stated on another thread, legally-carrying a concealed handgun is neither a sin, nor a crime. Why confess?

  3. #18
    Distinguished Member Array Black Knight's Avatar
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    With the situation as it is you can't unring the bell but maybe you can alter it's tune. I understand her kids are irresponsible and that is part of her concern. She feels uneasy because of that and maybe something else that you may not be aware of. How many kids does she have? Maybe you could discuss firearm safety with her and the possibility of a safety course. Perhaps if she is agreeable you could find, enroll her in and pay for a course for her. Here is an opportunity to show that firearms owners can help solve such problems. If she doesn't agree the only thing you can do is show her the respect you would want her to show you but keep the lines of communication open so that if she changes her mind she knows where to come for guidance.

  4. #19
    Member Array TommyGun4169's Avatar
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    Keep it on you at all times ! When it's not on you, lock it up and hide it ! Don't mention the subject anymore, talking about it is just going to cause angst and unease.
    OMERTA= Silence ! Act normal and enjoy the holiday as usual. My mother-in-law is like that and thinks guns are what causes all the trouble in the world !
    I live with my wife at her moms house so the subject comes up occaisionally. "Why do you have to Have that Thing on you ?" "Your Looking for trouble !"
    If you just like guns and collect them why do you carry it then ? I heard it all and argued until I was blue in the face. My answer would always be "Better to have a Gun and not need it, than to need a gun and not have it !" It usually would shut her up for awhile ! LOL

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  5. #20
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    I have a different view. Assuming you are not staying at an especially bad area, lock the gun in your safe, lock the safe in your car, lock the car. That will keep the irresponsible kids (adolescents and young adults I assume) from it.

    It will make your host happy.

    Your risk of a locked safe being stolen from a locked vehicle is very small; your risk of needing the gun while a guest where you are is also very small.

    Millions of people travel unarmed and stay places unarmed and most of the time nothing goes wrong as far as encountering a BG. (Someone said there are other ways to protect yourself. I think it was Mad Mac.)

    For you now, the most important thing is smoothing out the family issue; show your mom and your host that you respect their feelings and their wishes when you are at their home.
    If the Union is once severed, the line of separation will grow wider and wider, and the controversies which are now debated and settled in the halls of legislation will then be tried in fields of battle and determined by the sword.
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  6. #21
    Member Array DirkD's Avatar
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    I am visiting my wife's family in Detroit and staying at her father's house. He knows and doesn't care (as long as I unload it when it is not on my person). some of wife's other relatives know, but don't care. Many others don't know. While I agree it is the homeowner's rules, I wouldn't have gone. Your mother needs to stop volunteering information and mind her own business or find another ride down to Ohio.

  7. #22
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    First of all, welcome to the forum.

    Quote Originally Posted by sigkzoo View Post
    should I offer to lock it up in our family vehicle, lock the Jeep and just leave it there so she's more comfortable but leaving myself defenseless?
    This kind of bothers me. You weren't defenseless before you started carrying a gun, you just relied on other methods to defend yourself. Even now, your gun should be your last choice for defending yourself, not your first, or primary means. Remember, your best defensive weapon is on your shoulders. Sharpen your skills and use them.

    As to your mom, I would have simply explained that carrying a gun is a personal decision, and one that no one else can make for you, and devulging the fact that you are carrying isn't something that someone else should make either.

    With your Aunt, I wouldn't have told her. It is your business, not hers. Ohio, unlike SC does not require you to have the home owners permission to carry in their home. Now that she does know, just drop it. The ball is in her park now. If she informs you in the future she wants you to leave your gun at home, you will have to decide between that, or not going.
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  8. #23
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    As so many say, concealed means concealed. I personally would not have said anything but we are a close family and everyone knows I carry a gun or two all the time. In fact most are very comfortable if I have it on and less comfortable if I take it off and lay it on the tip top of a cabinet or something. Just remember as always out of site out of mind. Although if you carry IWB that may get uncomfortable after the turkey. Good luck and happy thanksgiving.

    Jason
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  9. #24
    VIP Member Array Gene83's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hopyard View Post
    I have a different view. Assuming you are not staying at an especially bad area, lock the gun in your safe, lock the safe in your car, lock the car. That will keep the irresponsible kids (adolescents and young adults I assume) from it.

    It will make your host happy.

    Your risk of a locked safe being stolen from a locked vehicle is very small; your risk of needing the gun while a guest where you are is also very small.

    Millions of people travel unarmed and stay places unarmed and most of the time nothing goes wrong as far as encountering a BG. (Someone said there are other ways to protect yourself. I think it was Mad Mac.)

    For you now, the most important thing is smoothing out the family issue; show your mom and your host that you respect their feelings and their wishes when you are at their home.

    Given the incident that took place near you last month, I'm surprised you would say that. The stabbing in the parking lot of the grocery store that I use (while I was inside shopping) made me realize that minimal risk of something happening is no longer an acceptable reason not to carry. I used to think..."Well, I'm just running down to the store. It's broad daylight. Why bother with the gun?" I don't think that way anymore, because once in a blue moon, something can happen and I now feel that I need to be ready for it.

    In this particular incident, to keep peace in the family, the risk is minimal. But, I think the idea that the risk is minimal can become a complacent behavior that proves dangerous.
    "The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come." ~ Confucius

  10. #25
    Senior Member Array marcclarke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MadMac View Post
    You have a moral obligation to accept the rules of the homeowner.
    I am going to very respectfully disagree. You *do* have a moral obligation to protect your immediate family. You *do not* have a moral obligation to tell anyone about a concealed, legally-carried weapon you would use to legally protect your family.
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  11. #26
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    So many good posts here, thanks for bringing this conversation up. I, too, have confided to my mother when visiting. Moms can somehow elicit things out of us with just a look. That's a good thing.

    I think the obvious answer here is to do what you find to be right for your situation. And then of course learn for the future whatever that might be. Lastly, do report in on how the drama ends.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  12. #27
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    Here's another fly in the ointment...

    In ARKANSAS you are legally bound to inform a homeowner that you are carrying if you enter into their home.

    Now we know that what is moral, what is legal, and what is right can be different things.

    Morally,you are in their home, so you are obligated to thier wishes. Some have no issue with it, others do.
    Legally, you may be bound by your state to inform.

    While it is true that you do have an obligation to protect yourself and your loved ones, you must also be able to do what is right and you must be able to determine what is right.

    On the other hand, I know that the holidays can be very stressful for all involved, and the rate for domestic disputes go sky high from Thanksgiving Day until the New Year. Lots of things happen then and it happens everywhere and it can happen in the blink of an eye. There is no such thing as a "safe" place anymore, crime can and does happen everywhere, no place is immune from it.

    When you are throughly confused as to what do it, remember that it all boils down to respect.


    Do you respect the wishes of your Aunt in her own home? If so, then you know what to do.
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  13. #28
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    Zip the lip, and conceal the gun on the hip.
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  14. #29
    VIP Member Array Gene83's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HotGuns View Post
    Here's another fly in the ointment...

    In ARKANSAS you are legally bound to inform a homeowner that you are carrying if you enter into their home.

    Now we know that what is moral, what it legal, and what is right can be different things.

    Morally,you are in their home, so you are obligated to thier wishes. Some have no issue with it, others do.
    Legally, you may be bound by your state to inform.

    While it is true that you do have an obligation to protect yourself and your loved ones, you must also be able to do what is right and you must be able to determine what is right.

    On the other hand, I know that the holidays can be very stressful for all involved, and the rate for domestic disputes go sky high from Thanksgiving Day until the New Year. Lots of things happen then and it happens everywhere and it can happen in the blink of an eye. There is no such thing as a "safe" place anymore, crime can and does happen everywhere, no place is immune from it.

    When you are throughly confused as to what do it, remember that it all boils down to respect.


    Do you respect the wishes of your Aunt in her own home? If so, then you know what to do.
    If the state law requires that you inform the homeowner, that's a whole different matter. You obey the law. If the homeowner has their property legally posted with "No Guns" signs, you obey the law. If your aunt knows that you carry and tells you to leave the danged thing at home, then you either leave it at home, don't go, or stay somewhere else. But, unless the law states differently, I don't think you are under any moral obligation to inform everyone on God's green earth (and that includes family members) that you are carrying. Keep it concealed. Keep your mouth zipped. And, just go about your business.
    "The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come." ~ Confucius

  15. #30
    Ex Member Array MadMac's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marcclarke View Post
    I am going to very respectfully disagree. You *do* have a moral obligation to protect your immediate family. You *do not* have a moral obligation to tell anyone about a concealed, legally-carried weapon you would use to legally protect your family.
    Fair enough, and I respect your opinion. That said, if you feel to protect your family that you need to be constantly armed, you need to avoid this situation: in other words, don't go if you feel the lack of your firearm would be too dangerous.

    Do you let your wife/kids go to the store without your armed escort services?

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