Thanksgiving family advice PLEASE!?

This is a discussion on Thanksgiving family advice PLEASE!? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I'm not sure why mom was involved at all...

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Thread: Thanksgiving family advice PLEASE!?

  1. #31
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    I'm not sure why mom was involved at all
    "Just blame Sixto"

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  3. #32
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    I'm not sure why mom was involved at all
    She knew about it and that was all it took.
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  4. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gene83 View Post
    Given the incident that took place near you last month, I'm surprised you would say that. The stabbing in the parking lot of the grocery store that I use (while I was inside shopping) made me realize that minimal risk of something happening is no longer an acceptable reason not to carry. I used to think..."Well, I'm just running down to the store. It's broad daylight. Why bother with the gun?" I don't think that way anymore, because once in a blue moon, something can happen and I now feel that I need to be ready for it.

    In this particular incident, to keep peace in the family, the risk is minimal. But, I think the idea that the risk is minimal can become a complacent behavior that proves dangerous.
    Every aspect of life is a risk v benefit thing. It was stated that there were some folks in the house that perhaps were concerning for whatever reason, and there was some friction brewing in the family. Play the odds and hope for the best.

    And as for playing the odds and the example you mentioned, its not like that particular type of event was something that has happened before here ever; not in 40 years that I know of.

    A gun is no guarantee of safety. It should be one tool in a bag full of tools. Practice throwing knives or darts, or hot fresh from the oven turkeys.

    Happy thanksgiving all.
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  5. #34
    Member Array BlackJack's Avatar
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    Well, if you were to bring a firearm into my home, without my knowledge and consent, you would not be welcome back again.

    No, I am not against carrying, otherwise I would not be here, but I am very particular about whom I allow to carry inside my home. If I know you and trust you with a firearm, then it would be no problem. But, try to get around my rules in MY home and you are no longer welcome.

    If your Aunt doesnít want you to carry in her home it seems to me that you have two choices:
    1: Donít carry
    2: Donít enter her home

    Of course that is just my opinion.
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  6. #35
    VIP Member Array MitchellCT's Avatar
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    Thanksgiving family advice is best summed up as:

    SERE

    Survival, Evasion, Resistance, Escape.

    Alcohol, long walks, running out for "last minute" items, not being able to attend due to work and "emergencies" of friends causing you to head out at dinner time are your best tactics.
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  7. #36
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    I believe the only mistake here is people who should not know do. I have been carrying for years and the only person who knows that I carry is my wife.
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  8. #37
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    I had something similar happen during a visit to my folks in the Phoenix area. They live in a gated retirement community, that's got all the amenities. Two of my Dad's sisters have also moved there. They are all origionally from Iowa, retired for the farm life. Basically when we arrived got a big hug and all from Mom and got " busted". Mom was cool and kept it quiet, but said carefull around my aunt. She had a real
    fear of guns. Well low and behold if she didn't come banging on the door a little later to make sure we were coming by their place for dinner. She caught me without my proverbial cover shirt and was just a little aghast at what she called that huge gun. She asked if I would be wearing it when I came over? Pu ton my cover, put an arm around her and told her let's get some coffee. We had an hour long conversation on the patio on why someone would want to carry. Covered the whole arena of reasons etc. My personal choice, the responsibilities of that decision, the fact it was a last resort tool in a bag of self defense. It was something I did not advertise and that I train in it's use very often. Of course the gun's kill people issue came up, gun's don't go bang on their own. Finished it all up with the simple statement that I would respect her wishes etc. We are all very close and talk easily. She had said she was uneasy sometimes when they all went to the mountains and Dad and Bud kept shotguns in their trailers. Guess she did'nt know Dad had a Bulldog 38 "on him" all that time as well. She actually called just before we left to walk down to their place and said I was welcome in her home no matter what I
    might be carrying. Over the next few days she brought up several questions about gun carry. Turns out she was afraid of what goes on in the Phoenix area, shootings,rape, robberies, seems from the news no part of the Metro area was immune. Wel turned out a couple months later Uncle Bud started to carry his 1911 on a regular basis. He had been a reserve deputy for over 20 years. Bud and Dad have both done
    a couple of training courses wit a local facility, and Aunt Mary asks Uncle Bud if he has his "buddy" with him before they go out.
    Bottom Line, a straight, honest, and level headed conversation where answering her questions straight forward worked. Asking her pointed questions and giving her real world answers seemed to give her a clear understanding of why a growing number of people are opting to carry a weapon. Sorry, gun , military up bringing still comes out as weapon. My aunt still chuckles about " Well I carry a gun because a cop is too darned heavy".
    Maybe you might try a good old converstion sometime, but it still may come down to respect in the end! Good Luck!!

  9. #38
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    I'm thankful that my parents, in-laws, sisters, neices, nephews, etc. all have no issue with guns, my carrying, etc. Me and my guns are welcome anytime we visit or stay with any of them. I go shooting with my Dad, father-in-law, brother-in-laws, my nephews hunt, my parents know how serious I take the responsibility, and my sisters know I've been practicing safe gun procedures since I was a kid. They all know because me and my brothers in law always talk about guns when we get together (all hunters and gun heads and one of our favorite topics) and nobody thinks anything of it. For many years it was a family tradition to go out shooting on Thanksgiving and Christmas days. Harder to do now since we all live far apart and have kids and stuff and are traveling during holidays. I miss those days. Nothing says closeness with family on the holidays like boom, flash, recoil, and the smell of burnt gunpowder.
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  10. #39
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    Lightbulb UPDATE - Things are going well.

    My aunt is generally good with guns but especially dislikes handguns from what she admits is a somewhat irrational fear. She never once told me NOT to carry it and she usually is very much "mi casa es su casa", just that she doesn't like pistols and was politely reminding me that there are people like that and that I should have mentioned it before I got here (if I was going to mention it) so I did reaffirm that I understand the gravity of the responsibility and that it's safely taken care of. Everything was cool all day today and I am going shopping with the ladies tomorrow morning, I'm a sucker for a black friday bargain! As much as I respect my family I also respect my obligation to protect myself and my family just the same, so I will walk the tight rope. I have learned my lesson that this nothing I need to share and will talk with my mom about it on the way back home, I hope she took from this experience the same lesson that I have. Thank you all for your input and it really helped me weigh out both sides.

    Also I see self defense as being black and white, someone is either threatening a life or their not, if they are I need to have my defense for that situation. When I spoke of being defenseless I meant in this particular type of situation. Its when you least expect trouble that it finds you, I firmly believe this. I do also carry a spring assisted Kershaw knife and a streamlight pocket flashlight. I know how to use my Knife and I know how to use other types of defense tools. I was a boy scout and I was raised to 'be prepared' - at all times. No one has hindsight.

    Thank you all again for your input! It truly did help me think this out for myself.

  11. #40
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    So who got to carve the Turkey?
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    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  12. #41
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    Hey, I think it's all part of the learning curve with carrying concealed weapons.

    I've made the mistake of mentioning my CCW when I was first carrying. All it takes is for a well-intentioned friend to "out" you in front of a bunch of people who may or may not like guns ("HEY BOB, SHOW EVERYBODY THAT HIDDEN GUN YOU HAVE!"). You think to yourself: "Man, I'll never do THAT again", and the lesson is learned.

    I am a firm believer that only I need to know that I'm carrying a weapon. Glad to hear that things worked out for you. Stay safe.

  13. #42
    Distinguished Member Array CDW4ME's Avatar
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    Although your situation in question has already been resolved, I'll still put in my .02
    Really it's not about whether the pistol is likely to be needed or not (I've been carrying for nearly 20 years and never needed it) it's more about principle.
    I'm over 40 (been married 20+ years) and I'm becoming increasingly unwilling to subject myself to the "rules" of other family members homes.
    Their home and their rules, but on the flip side attendance is optional.

    A different scenario: the homeowner has a "rule" of no alcohol, but you enjoy having a beer or glass of wine with your meal, you don't HAVE to have it, you could leave it at home, or locked up in the car... or you could just not attend the meal because you didn't feel like conforming to the rule (principle).

    These little rules of the home won't change if people are willing to conform to them.
    No internal lock or magazine disconnect on my pistols!

  14. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by CDW4ME View Post
    Although your situation in question has already been resolved, I'll still put in my .02
    Really it's not about whether the pistol is likely to be needed or not (I've been carrying for nearly 20 years and never needed it) it's more about principle.
    I'm over 40 (been married 20+ years) and I'm becoming increasingly unwilling to subject myself to the "rules" of other family members homes.Their home and their rules, but on the flip side attendance is optional.

    A different scenario: the homeowner has a "rule" of no alcohol, but you enjoy having a beer or glass of wine with your meal, you don't HAVE to have it, you could leave it at home, or locked up in the car... or you could just not attend the meal because you didn't feel like conforming to the rule (principle).

    These little rules of the home won't change if people are willing to conform to them.
    Be careful about what you become. I am a bit older than you and have been married for over 31 years. Part of being a impactful family member is learning to suck it up and respect other family members' rules for their homes. I have in-laws and relatives who have let petty jeaousies and old offenses keep them apart. They are no longer part of each others' families. It's sad that kids can't know their cousins and celebrate the holidays because of these old perceived slights and miscommunication.

    You would expect your relatives to be repectful of your wishes, right? Be respectful of others, and your life will be richer for it. I enjoy alcohol with a meal and even by itself. I will not let a few drinks come between me and a family member. I can always drink at my home where my rules prevail.

  15. #44
    VIP Member Array TedBeau's Avatar
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    Well She didn't tell you you had to lock it up in the car. She said she wished you had not brought it. Sometimes wishes don't come true.
    I would be very carefull to keep it concealed and let it go. She will probably assume you have locked it up. If she did not specifically ask you to not carry it in her house then you are OK.

    Next time don't tell anyone, even Mom.

  16. #45
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    Sounds like you need Dr.Phil.,not our opinions.
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