Any carrying moms? - Page 2

Any carrying moms?

This is a discussion on Any carrying moms? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Originally Posted by SIGguy229 You're going to get a lot of advice...in my opinion, the person with the most first hand knowledge is Limatunes....I'd send ...

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Thread: Any carrying moms?

  1. #16
    Member Array gunsnroses's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SIGguy229 View Post
    You're going to get a lot of advice...in my opinion, the person with the most first hand knowledge is Limatunes....I'd send her a private message, but she's probably a bit busy now.

    Bottom line up front...get training, get a gun YOU are comfortable with, use a holster that is made specifically for your make/model of firearm, use a good belt (I'd do a search in this forum on these topics), wear clothes that conceal the gun, but provide you access to if need be.

    In terms of etiquette, if the gun is concealed...it is NO ONE'S business if you are carrying. Research the laws of your state, but generally, you do not have a duty to inform anyone that you are carrying (check local/state laws on notifying law enforcement). I'm not a mom--I am a dad, and have been carrying for 18 years...my boys are 15 and 9. As long as the gun is in the holster, and the holster covers the trigger, the firearm is in your control, and therefore safe. Yes, I did rough house with my boys...and never did the gun come out or fall out, because I had a quality holster and belt.

    Your challenge is finding the right carry combination for you.

    ETA: just because there are children present doesn't change the way you act; it may affect the way you carry. Generally, carrying "off-body" is a bad idea, as it separates you from your gun. With children around, there is no better place than on your hip. Do not carry in a purse or other bag where it can be separated from you or little fingers and hands can get into it (like where food or treats are kept)

    And yes, I carry my gun loaded...

    Checkout these threads for starters:
    Young mom = concealed carry!
    Women's Carry Methods
    Ladies of DC carry methods
    Carrying Concealed and Remaining Feminine
    Should a Mother Carry a Gun?
    Carrying a Gun and a Baby
    Girls' Night Out: Shoes, Knives, Shirts and Guns
    Sometimes the Learning Process is a Slow, Dangerous One
    Wow SigGuy! This is a awesome! Thank you for spending the time to put it all together!!! Everything you said is excellent.

    To snowcake. In addition to the above, I also would like you to see this video:
    Concealed Carry Holsters & Outfits for Women - YouTube

    She demonstrates and models different carrying methods with a variety of dress.

    This forum along with the above video convinced me to carry on my body rather than in my purse. I ordered and received a thigh holster but I haven't put it into practice yet. Its my New Year resolution.
    SIGguy229 likes this.


  2. #17
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    SIGguy, thanks for the links... I actually was clicking on those links and surprised to find that a lot of them were authored by me...

    Snowcake, welcome to the forum. It's good to see other Moms out there who are actively looking at defending themselves and their little ones.

    I have a 3 y/o and an 8-day old. I have remained armed throughout both pregnancies and the interim. Tomorrow will be my first day out with both children... I'm looking forward to the learning experience.

    Now, I am also a firearms instructor and all of my "mom friends" know this. They know that I teach carry classes and they know that I have my permit but none of them KNOWS that I actually carry to play dates, etc. None of them have asked and I do not volunteer that information. If I were asked I would probably make my answer vague or just deny it. It's never a good idea to let people in on the fact that you are carrying (unless legally required to do so).. especially when kids are around. If everyone in the group carried, maybe, but I know there are a few Moms who are afraid of guns and they would probably be very freaked by the fact that I actually carry around them and their children. I'm sure the reason they have not asked whether or not I'm armed around them is because they don't want to know. Sometimes it just makes people uneasy.

    So, I would suggest keeping that to yourself.

    I also wrote a little article on carrying to playdates, etc. which I will share here ....

    Kids & Guns, Securing Tools On Body in an Over-Active Environment

    Nothing in this world will challenge the concealability and comfort of defensive tools quite like play dates.

    I'm the mother of a two-year-old. There are lots of play dates in my week. Several times a week my son and I meet up with mothers, fathers, newborns, toddlers and preschoolers for hours of unrehearsed, unplanned mayhem. You may be called upon to breakup a toddler boxing ring, retrieve spit up cheerios from under a bench, leap to your death after a thrown sippy cup or just be voluntold to lose a spontaneous game of, "No, you're supposed to let me win!" And you must do it all while being safe and keeping your gun concealed.

    I refuse to carry off-body around kids; at least not without completely and totally disabling the firearm, locking it up, burying it and pouring cement down the barrel. Such innocent and curious lives should never be cut short because of irresponsibility of gun owners and no other environment is as ripe for firearms' accidents as a play date or nursery. Ten minutes with toddlers and preschoolers and any bag, purse, briefcase and sack is thoroughly examined with a "WHAT'S THAT?!?" Even if your kid is oober smart and cool and knows not to touch firearms it doesn't mean Billy has been trained the same way or that your kid won't get the stupids and decide to play show-and-tell.

    I firmly believe that the best way to keep kids safe from your firearm in such an environment is to keep CONSTANT, discreet control of your firearm and that means keeping it on body and under deep concealment. Something new and unusual tends to make little, indiscreet minds lock on and alert the entire area to such a discovery with yet another, "WHAT'S THAT?!?" And a gun on a Momma's (or Daddy's) hip is certainly unusual when it comes to play dates.

    Being armed should not make someone afraid of playing (and I do mean REALLY PLAYING) with their children. Today I got roped into balloon volleyball with five kids and three balloons, all of them against me. I was diving over couches, rolling on the floor, colliding with four-year-olds and tripping over two-year-olds. I was carrying a fully-loaded Glock 19, a Ka-Bar LDK and my Gerber Crucial while doing it, too. Which brings me to some finer points of carrying around children.

    1. Make sure your gear is tough and capable. The last thing you want to do is dive for that third balloon, land wrong and find your gun has spilled out onto the floor in the midst of five children with their mothers looking on. Having a holster that you know you can roll around the floor with and not have it give up your gun or your concealment should be a top priority.

    2. Make sure your holster completely covers the trigger guard and holds your gun close to the body. Preschools are nosy. If they see or feel the slightest bulge they will grab and pull and poke at your gun while screaming, "What's under your shirt?!?" If you don't think so I guarantee you haven't spent five minutes with any child under the age of five. Not to mention you may have to pick up a screaming kid or have another mother ask you to hold her newborn while she goes to wipe puke off her blouse. You do not want anyone to find your gun by matter of just simply feeling it or seeing it. You also don't want to entertain the thought that small fingers or toes or toys could get inside the trigger guard of your gun.

    3. Long sweaters/vests (preferably with a button or zipper) are your friend, especially when you are playing balloon volleyball with five kids and three balloons. Keep that thing hidden!

    4. Don't make a big deal about adjusting and covering your firearm if it does get exposed. In short, if you do fall head-first over a couch while diving for a balloon and get up finding that your sweater is completely tucked BEHIND your gun, keep a big ol' smile on your face, throw the balloon with one hand while you cover your gun and move on as though nothing happened. Distraction works well with most kids if they do see something.

    5. Wear colors that closely match the color of your gun and holster. This is not the time to try out that new custom holster with the beautifully etched American flag in full color on it. If you have a black gun and a black holster wear dark jeans and a black shirt and dark cover garment. If you do accidentally have a concealment slip you are already camouflaged and almost no one is likely to see.

    6. Be smart. Don't take your gun off and put it anywhere. Don't fiddle with it. Don't leave it some place where it can be accessed by kids (like the diaper bag or purse or under a coat). You are far more likely to have an accident with a firearm in that kind of an environment than you are to actually need your gun in self-defense. If there's a question about safety then err on the side of caution and leave you gun in a safe location (your locked car, for instance) for the duration of the activity.

    7. Have fun! Play dates and kid groups are about letting your child socialize and taking you away from all of the distractions so that you can have fun with your child as he has fun with his friends. If you can't have fun with your kid while being armed then leave the damned thing at home or keep training until you can comfortably (and safely) carry your gun in such an environment. Dare I say it, but your relationship with your kid is more important than the one-in-a-million chance you might get into a shootout at your kids play date. Yes, I know you want to be able to protect you child (I do, too) but you also need to be a parent. Don't let a gun get in the way of spending quality time with your kids.

    Be safe, be smart. Protect yourself and your child.
    I hope that helps you out! I look forward to seeing you around!

  3. #18
    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
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    Between what Sigguy and Lima just told you, you are pretty well set for advice.

    To Lime I will say that your first day out with two kids will be a new experience. My wife and I have 5 kids. One of them is now 21 (boy do I feel old) and I can vividly remember being out with all 5 of them when they were still fairly little and what a challenge it can be.
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  4. #19
    Distinguished Member Array Fitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by snowcake View Post
    I want to preface this with I have not taken any carrying classes, nor have my CHL permit yet. But, I'm curious as a mother of a one year old, are there any etiquette rules I should be aware of when carrying in the presence of children? I'm mostly
    thinking of play date settings, birthday parties, casual meetings or possibly at friend or casual acquaintances homes where children will be present as my daughter is not school age. I'm aware I can't carry on school property.

    Once I have a permit to carry, should I inform other moms that I have a concealed weapon or keep my mouth shut? Do they have the right to know? Should I ask at my carry class when I apply for my CHL?

    Hope that doesn't sound dumb and thanks for any advice you can give!
    The reference to Limatunes above is excellent. She is very knowledgable.

    In addition to those links, if you haven't already, I'd suggest you go to Kathy Jackson's website the Cornered Cat Cornered Cat .

    Kathy is a mom that carries every day. She has a superb website that will answer questions you didn't know enough to ask yet in simple straight forward well written prose. It's a calm well reasoned presentation of carry for women and mom's. She has also put out a book that has women like you as it's intended reader.

    Fitch
    “The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety), by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” by H. L. Mencken

  5. #20
    Member Array protek's Avatar
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    Limatunes pretty much said it all. I carry almost all the time, even in the house. It's always IWB and never in a bag or purse where I don't have immediate control. When I am not carrying, it goes immediately into the safe and locked. When I say that no one knows, I mean that aside from my best friend and shooting partner, my mom, and the guys at the range, no one knows I carry.... not even my immediate family. I don't tell other moms. I don't ask people if it's okay if I carry at their house. They will never know unless they physically search me, and I'd leave before it came to that.

    To me, it's a very personal choice... kind of like what underwear I choose to wear.

  6. #21
    Ex Member Array Bullet1234's Avatar
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    Always carry, never tell.

  7. #22
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    I'm happy to hear you want to carry, there's not much to really add to the great advice everyone else gave. My wife is going to be getting her CCP soon, we have an 8 yr old and a 6 week old and I've carried since before the oldest was born. I'd say the most important thing is to find a gun and holster that you can wear and conceal comfortably. If it isn't comfortable it'll bother you and you'll be more likely to be trying to readjust it all day long until the point you no longer carry it. In my experience a holster that you can adjust the cant to naturally work with your body will be the most comfortable. I don't tell anyone when I'm carrying, there's really no reason to do so, I've carried to many birthday parties and the like with no issues.

  8. #23
    Member Array MountainAir's Avatar
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    Welcome OP. Another carrying mom here.
    Only thing I would add is as junior gets older go thru the safety rules over and over and over and over, and let him/her know we can talk about mommy's gun at home when there aren't visitors, but not in the grocery store, etc, and we don't tell ANYONE mommy has a gun. I believe Lima or Cornered Cat has a great piece on introducing kiddo to gun, unloaded, all safety rules followed, no distractions, show kiddo gun, let him touch it, anytime he wants we will do it again, taking the mystery & taboo out of guns and lessening the chances of junior wanting to play with it when mommy isn't around.
    This is a great forum with lots of expertise in these folks.

  9. #24
    Senior Member Array mastercapt's Avatar
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    Do not tell them.
    There is ALWAYS an anti-gun person in the group who will start an argument or loudly proclaim that "She has a gun"...
    I sold police equipment a while back, and we wee always looking for holsters for the female cops to wear off duty, or when working undercover, to keep the gun concealed.
    We had a "belly band" one which was worn just under the breasts and hid the gun well. We had small of the back holsters worn under a looser fitting blouse.
    Some carried smaller guns, such as a walther PPK

    As said above, take a concealed weapon class. It will educate you on guns, the laws, and such. It may also give you a chance to try different guns to see which one works for you.

  10. #25
    VIP Member Array SIGguy229's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gunsnroses View Post
    Wow SigGuy! This is a awesome! Thank you for spending the time to put it all together!!! Everything you said is excellent.

    To snowcake. In addition to the above, I also would like you to see this video:
    Concealed Carry Holsters & Outfits for Women - YouTube

    She demonstrates and models different carrying methods with a variety of dress.

    This forum along with the above video convinced me to carry on my body rather than in my purse. I ordered and received a thigh holster but I haven't put it into practice yet. Its my New Year resolution.
    You are welcome...

    I wrote it in the off-chance my wife would read it...and follow the links. My wife trained me well

    I forgot about faliaphotos link....although it came to mind later....thanks for posting...
    Magazine <> clip - know the difference

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  11. #26
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    Lima, SIGguy, gunsnroses and everyone else who gave advice and input, thank you so much! I appreciate the links and the information. I will definitely keep my mouth shut when it comes to carrying around children and other moms. I don't even think I'll post on my Facebook--there are a few who i think would be questionable in the "approval" department regarding me carrying and I don't need them to judge. Lots of my friends know my husband is into guns, but not that I am also. So far, I have only told one very close friend who is fine with it.

    I may have to shop for holsters like I shop for shoes or handbags; keep looking until I find just the right one! Haha. All of you seem to be a real nice bunch and I am looking forward to learning more.
    limatunes likes this.

  12. #27
    Distinguished Member Array Fitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by snowcake View Post
    I don't even think I'll post on my Facebook.
    You are right, posting it on FaceBook is not a good idea.

    Fitch
    10thmtn likes this.
    “The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety), by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” by H. L. Mencken

  13. #28
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    Type cornered cat in your search engine it is Kathy Jackson's web site.
    Member:USCCA, NRA, GOA, WVCDL
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  14. #29
    Member Array snowcake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fitch View Post
    You are right, posting it on FaceBook is not a good idea.

    Fitch
    On the Facebook thing, I meant putting it out there that I'm a conceal carry fan, or will be getting training--there is a Facebook group/page for every interest; I'm sure there are FB carry or defense groups. I don't want to scare my other mom friends or any anti-gun peeps there. I promise I won't post that I (will) carry a weapon! ;-)

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