am i wrong
This is a discussion on am i wrong within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Hey Lone: If I am not mistaken, every answer has, as its premise, that you are right to believe that the next time you go ...
January 29th, 2012 08:44 AM
Hey Lone: If I am not mistaken, every answer has, as its premise, that you are right to believe that the next time you go out with your wife, harms way and "what ifs" will follow and you had better be prepared for the inevitable that saves all of you from a terrible catastrophe at the hands of who the heck knows who. Over the years I would venture to say that you and most, if not all the repliers, have been out and about literally tens of thousands of times, day and night, and depending on how and where you live your life (now making the assumption you live in a nice community as opposed to crime ridden area with your family), you have never been in a situation that has required the use of your firearm. This goes back to the threads that ask "are you a 24/7 CC person?' where most answers tend to be "yes". I do not carry 24/7, I do not carry in my home, I rarely carry in my car, I believe that SA is more important than metal on my waist, I am 70 years old, I have never ever had a need to ever even think about a firearm and most of the time I have lived in areas that are not Disneyland--I am in the minority as far as this thread is concerned and certainly understand what others have said---but it is possible that you can allow your wife some say in how your family lives its life regarding this issue; somehow feeling that enough "education" (another word for browbeating although most on this thread will argue that) will change her mind--baloney in my book--she is just accepting your opinion regardless of how she feels.
I would hope that the thread readers will stick to addressing Lone's thread and not my reply. I am just stating an obvious from my experience and 50 years of marriage.
January 29th, 2012 08:48 AM
She is your wife. You love her. You need to protect her and your kids. Sometimes you need to protect them from their own lack of insight and their own poor judgement.
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."
- Roy Batty
January 29th, 2012 09:16 AM
Ask her to verbalize the basis of her concerns and see what she says. Perhaps she may be one of those people afraid that the gun might just "go off" if you fall while rollerskating. If she cannot come up with anything except a visceral "I just don't think guns should be around kids, it is not safe," she has no real argument, just feelings.
Try to explain that modern guns cannot just "go off" unless someone pulls the trigger, which, in a nice secure holster, is not going to happen, and since it will be secured to you physically and not laying around to be found (You DO have plans for secure handling and such if ya gotta go dump a load, right?), then there is absolutely no danger to innocent children.
If she grew up on a farm, perhaps she could be reminded how many things were just "laying around" in barns that could be dangerous to children (ax, chainsaw, pitchforks, etc.), much less the danger of getting kicked by a horse or cow, pecked and bitten by a goose (Hey, that HURTS!), coyotes after lambs that don't care if it is a small child wandering around out there, it is delicious, and many many more, yet she seems to have survived ok, and that in the city, the predators do not routinely get shot at by the land owners to keep them scared of approaching the house and kids, so are a bit brasher.
Side note, down here in Texas (and around the entire country), since cities and in some cases entire states forbid the shooting of predators, they have become much more brazen and no longer fear humans, taking cats, small dogs (and sometimes humans). Ya know, there was a REASON we hunted certain species until they avoided humans at all cost. Wolves, cougars, bears and coyotes have no problem eating any omnivores, including adult and small humans. We are soft, have no claws or fangs, and taste good with a little ketchup. Human predators have even less fear of other humans, whom they know will probably be unarmed and good victims, and even if they do get caught, they will probably get off light from a judge when their mommy says, "He is finally turning his life around!"
Something to be said about letting predators know you are armed and will put an end to them if they come after you and yours.
Rick Perry Shoots And KILLS Coyote: Texas Gov Carried Laser-Sighted Pistol On Jog
January 29th, 2012 09:40 AM
I don't know about where the OP lives, but the local rinks in my town is just outside two of the seedier neighborhoods.
We have had multiple issues over the past twenty years with people preying on the kids. Granted, the worst was when the predators worked their way in to the one place as employees and were arrested after molesting some of the kids.
Where kids gravitate, the predators that prey on them also go to. It's a sad fact of life.
January 29th, 2012 09:52 AM
It definitely sounds like you and your wife need to sit down and discuss your carrying. You need to find out why she feels the way she does. Does she feel the same about you carrying when your son is present?
You might want to also start pointing out news reports of violent crimes in your area. Ask her what she would do if that happened to her or to you.
Another way to try to make your point, is to ask her why she carries a spare tire in the car. Tell her, that although the odds of her needing it are slim, she definitely would want it there if needed.
Freedom doesn't come free. It is bought and paid for by the lives and blood of our men and women in uniform.
NRA Life Member
January 29th, 2012 10:44 AM
If she was just a girl friend, I would say get rid of her. But she is your wife, and she has a legal right to voice her concerns, and you are under an obligation bound by the oath of marrige to consider her.
You are half wrong and she is half right. Like was suggested, get a small pocket gun, stick it in your pocket and keep your mouth shut, and love and validate the woman.
Ignorance is a long way from stupid, but left unchecked, can get there real fast.
January 29th, 2012 10:55 AM
Have you done everything possible to minimize any safety concerns she might have?
Do you lock it up in a handgun safe each night?
As a mother, her instincts tell her to protect her kids from all danger and if she considers you with a handgun a dangerous situation then I can understand her reaction.
Make sure you go overboard with all safety precautions around the house, don't clean it or mess with with it in front of her, don't bombard her with self defense stories, don't make carrying the gun the most important thing in your life and quit calling ahead to
every business establish and asking if it's ok to carry. Get a lock box for your vehicle and plan on going back to your car if you have to lock it up.
Bottom line........do what you gotta do, but don't create opportunities for your wife to object. If your wife is like mine, as long as she doesn't have to see it or have to listen to me talk about it she is fine..........
To sit back hoping that someday, some way, someone will make things right is to go on feeding the crocodile, hoping he will eat you last - but eat you he will.
January 29th, 2012 12:33 PM
Time for you and the Mrs. to sit down and have a discussion about carrying. Listen to why she feels the way she does about it and then discuss with her the way you feel and your reasons. I know this can be a sticky area so go slow. Good luck to ya.
January 29th, 2012 01:03 PM
I'm very fortunate that my wife is also into CC and shooting with me. No need to have those long discussions, though we frequently share and discuss scenarios together.
I agree where communication is very important to figure out where her mind set is at. AS was said, talk with her, not at her in a private quiet setting.
January 29th, 2012 01:07 PM
A marriage is a partnership between two distinctly separate INDIVIUAL human beings who (of course) love and care very much about one another.
That is not the same thing as being two mind numbed cloned conjoined identical twins that are biologically brain~fused together for life at the forehead.
How would I feel if I didn't have a firearm on my person & we went some place where a nut-job started randomly killing people (including my Wife) and I could have prevented it but, could not simply because I was unarmed for no rational reason?
Originally Posted by suntzu
January 29th, 2012 01:18 PM
Originally Posted by suntzu
Don't know about you but that is like lying by omission to your spouse. Mine would it the roof if she found out I was doing something that she asked me not to do. Putting a zipper on your lip is sneaky.
I put both posts in so folks can see what I said. How on earth do you equate lying which is what I said to being cojoined at the forhead. It is the exact opposite. It says to be honest, that means there may be disagreements......
Originally Posted by QKShooter
1. I never said anything like you just posted. So read my post again. Mine is about lying.
2. I agree with your assesment of marraige. Saying that, you then man up and sit her down and explain to her that this is something I will not budge on. That is wha marraige is about:the truth, good, bad or otherwise. It is not a venue for deciet, lying by ommisiion or any other type of subterfuge.
3. I would feel like crap if I wasn;t armed and my wife or loved ones were injured. That is why you man up and tell her. You don't get an LCP and sneak it around without her knowing. Oh, and sorry, been there too much, I am not carrying to risk my life to protect those that do not want to carry and protect themselves. I am not a sheepdog, nor caped crusader. A strangers safety is thier own resposibility, not mine. I am going home to my family.
4. Folks seem to think the only person they should notify even though they don't have to is a LEO. Just because it is a polite courteous thing to do. The same folks seem to think it is OK to hide, sneak, lie by ommission to family members, friends, business's, and wives!
But to summarize, I don't know why you quoted me when I said nothing of the sort.
January 29th, 2012 01:25 PM
No advise from this quarter.
Just very happy I never faced that issue.
Have no idea what I would have done.
Good luck on working it out.
I'm just one root in a grassroots organization. No one should assume that I speak for the VCDL.
I am neither an attorney-at-law nor I do play one on television or on the internet. No one should assumes my opinion is legal advice.
Veni, Vidi, Velcro
January 29th, 2012 01:27 PM
As far as I know, MI no guns signs hold no force of law, so why would you call and ask????? Second, your wife will get over it. My GF was weird when I started carrying, called me paranoid all that crap. Take her to the range, let her have some fun and she should be fine. Ask her what she'd do if you weren't home to protect her and some BG tried breaking into the house, I'll bet she'd call 911 to get the guys with the GUNS to show up!
January 29th, 2012 02:34 PM
I don't live in MI so I can't speak to their laws. However, even if they don't carry force of law, they do carry possible embarrassment in front of other parents that may also be friends with their children who are not comfortable around guns and for your family if you do get "made" and the local establishment causes a stink in front of everybody or worse, with some anti manager working there just calls the police.
Originally Posted by Snatale42
I don't have children yet, and typically only going out with very close friends and family who either know I carry or who are also gun enthusiasts, so I typically don't worry about this. I can understand the OP's position of calling to check. I dont know the OPs reasoning to do so for the rink visit, but if it was in an attempt to avoid any unneeded or over dramatic folks if something does show, then it makes perfect sense to me.
I did the exact same recently...my fiancée was going into the hospital for a minor surgery. The local hospital had signs posted at one office/building, but not at the building we were going for her surgery, so I called them. They said, no guns. Even though the signs don't have any lawful relevance in my state, and I normally CANT as im typically going to restaurant, grocery stores, etc., i left the firearm safely locked in my vehicle for the 3 hours i was inside. I could have been tossed out if "made" during my fiancee's surgery, and probably a huge raucous made during it. Talk about embarrassing and completely irresponsible of me during a loved one's time of need for me to be there for them.
January 29th, 2012 03:32 PM
Explain to her that you too have an instinctual need to protect the ones you love and then ask her to please not pressure you into giving up the ability to be an effective protector. Point out that providing and protecting are both expressions of love and that your need to do these things is based on love and devotion. Be sure and explain that this is a fundamental part of who you are.
Originally Posted by Rotorblade
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