am i wrong

am i wrong

This is a discussion on am i wrong within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; so the wife and i were going to go with some of our neighbors to a roller rink to have some fun with our 2 ...

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Thread: am i wrong

  1. #1
    Member Array lonewolf486's Avatar
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    am i wrong

    so the wife and i were going to go with some of our neighbors to a roller rink to have some fun with our 2 yr old son and like always i decided to carry, Now i called the rink and found out that they have no problem with people carrying so i figured it was a go as soon as the wife found out she hit the roof saying that i'm parinoid and that it is wrong for me to carry around any children and of course we got in an argument and i didn't end up going, A little back story i grew up in and around the ghetto and have seen my fair share of the violence people are capable of and she grew up in an very nice neighborhood and her fam is very tightly knit and i don't carry when we go to family get togethers which i am fine with. As much as i love and respect my wife it bothers me when she starts on about me carrying a part of me wishes she could understand why i hold my familys safety as priority one. any advice? and sorry about the long windedness and grammar


  2. #2
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    Array Hopyard's Avatar
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    There are bigger issues that will crop up in your married life. Don't let this one be a marriage destroyer.
    If the Union is once severed, the line of separation will grow wider and wider, and the controversies which are now debated and settled in the halls of legislation will then be tried in fields of battle and determined by the sword.
    Andrew Jackson

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    VIP Member Array Smitty901's Avatar
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    Not a madder of right or wrong. It is a madder of how you and your wife see things and work them out. That is a long road and it changes over time.
    I agree there are bigger issue than this one.

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    Senior Member Array RKflorida's Avatar
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    Tough one. I can only say you need to have a serious reality check discussion with her. Seems she thinks a "gun" is bad all by itself. If trouble comes to the skating rink or any other place you visit, she would be glad you and maybe some others were carrying. I don't know how tightly knit her family is, but she sounds tightly wound up about guns. Perhaps you can get her to the range and get her interested in shooting?
    JerryMac, DaveH, tkruf and 1 others like this.

  5. #5
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    I seldom discuss my carry status with my wife, or anyone else. If I sought her approval or permission when I first started, I'm not sure it would have been forthcoming.

  6. #6
    Member Array JerryMac's Avatar
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    Sounds like it could become an issue, were you carrying before you guys got married ? This is sometihng you will have to work out togather, but just out of curiosity, what do you carry and how do you carry it ? I go to Family functions, all the time, do I carry, well, as they say, CANT !! Carry Always Never Tell. IF you are truly concealed, no one will know so should not be an issue.
    I agree with maybe trying to get her to the range, and a little more familiar with why you carry....
    Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American GI. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

    I asked my stock broker the other day, what I should be investing in ....his reply, canned goods n ammo !!!

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    VIP Member Array oakchas's Avatar
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    Are you wrong? Invariably, we all are, at one point or another, especially in married life...

    That said, this should not have escalated into an argument... But you can fix it if you sit down and talk with her... not to her, but with her...

    You need to find out what her reasoning is (calmly). Apparently, it revolves around having firearms in the presence of children, but that may not be the root of it.

    Police officers carry their weapons around children all the time... and tasers, and handcuffs, and batons. Those tools of the police trade don't jump off the Officer's Sam Browne and beat, tase, or shoot children.

    But for YOU, there may be an issue of TRUST. Those officers are trusted (right or wrong) to use their weapons only when they are needed... Is there some reason she doesn't TRUST you in the same manner?

    Sit down with her alone. Find out exactly what HER concerns are... Do NOT answer them as she is listing them... Or even immediately after.

    Tell her you really value her concerns and opinions, and you want to know what and how she thinks... After she lists her concerns, thank her. Tell her you will think about what she has said, and tell her only that you love her and your son, and you would sooner die than have anything happen to them that you could have prevented. Say NOTHING more about it, NOTHING...

    Then, think about what she has said. And don't say any more about it for a few days at the least...

    Now, you can do it this way... or you can say "I'm the man, What I say goes." Good luck with that approach.
    rstanek, Fitch, CaptSmith and 3 others like this.
    Rats!
    It could be worse!
    I suppose

  8. #8
    Member Array lonewolf486's Avatar
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    i dont think it will destroy our marriage but it is one of the things we dont see eye to eye on

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    Buy a small pocket pistol and a good pocket holster and keep the gun in your pocket and a zipper on your lips.

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    Member Array Palumbo3284's Avatar
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    lonewolf...check out this thread, which is mine.

    Fiancee Doesn't Like Me Carrying

    It has a myriad of suggestions, comments, angles to take, etc. i was in a similar situation with my fiancée. Not specifically carrying around kids, but just carrying in general. unfortunately, her view of things turned in my favor due to an incident that never escalated, but she saw why I carried...she is getting used to it and has moved more into the mindset of "just do it, but don't rub it in my face". She knows I'm carrying, but doesn't ask/talk about it.

    some folks on the forum will say "that's her problem, she needs to deal with it or leave her"...I'm more of the talk it through kind of guy. It likely won't be easy or fast, but has to result in a better outcome than telling her to piss off...JMO, of course based on my relationship.

    Good luck to you and hope you talk it through rather than being caught in an "ah ha moment" that could be deadly or unfortunate for you and your family.

  11. #11
    VIP Member Array suntzu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by QKShooter View Post
    Buy a small pocket pistol and a good pocket holster and keep the gun in your pocket and a zipper on your lips.
    Don't know about you but that is like lying by omission to your spouse. Mine would it the roof if she found out I was doing something that she asked me not to do. Putting a zipper on your lip is sneaky.
    Chaplain Scott likes this.

  12. #12
    VIP Member Array oakchas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lonewolf486 View Post
    i dont think it will destroy our marriage but it is one of the things we dont see eye to eye on
    What other safety measures do you take in the home and out of it?

    Do you wear seatbelts, do you have a fire extinguisher in the kitchen, does your son ride in an approved child safety seat in the car? If you drive through a bad neighborhood, do you roll up the windows and/or lock the doors?

    Did you or your wife see the mob action at the Wisconsin State fair on TV?

    Did you hear about the Petit home invasion in Connecticut?

    Bad things can happen anywhere, of course. Thing is, at a recreational facility for kids and teens... things can get out of hand quickly, even in the newest, cleanest establishments.

    My spouse doesn't like me to carry when I'm with her either... Usually, I don't.. (if I do it's when we happen to meet for lunch or something, I'm in the middle of my day, and I'm already carrying). But, due to my concern for her safety, I have told her that I may determine where we go and not go some places if I feel them to be unsafe, or leave if I see anything, absolutely anything that "trips my alarms." She will accept that... And, I have always carried a knife, and a multi tool... so I am always carrying at least those...

    It may take an "event" happening to her or to a friend that enlightens her... Eventually , she may come around... but it must be a gradual thing...
    Rats!
    It could be worse!
    I suppose

  13. #13
    sgb
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    VIP Member Array sgb's Avatar
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    My wife has no say so when it comes to when or where I carry, which is everywhere 24/7 and was made clear to her early in our relationship.
    pfries and remington79 like this.
    "There is a secret pride in every human heart that revolts at tyranny. You may order and drive an individual, but you cannot make him respect you." William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

    Best Choices for Self Defense Ammunition

  14. #14
    Member Array StrattonG's Avatar
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    I think what you are carrying would make a huge difference. Something like an lcp or a kahr in a pocket holster. Never noticeable and wouldn't have to be a argument. What its your carry set up?

    Sent from my HTC Glacier using Tapatalk
    Family first, that's why I carry.

  15. #15
    Member Array Palumbo3284's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StrattonG View Post
    I think what you are carrying would make a huge difference. Something like an lcp or a kahr in a pocket holster. Never noticeable and wouldn't have to be a argument. What its your carry set up?

    Sent from my HTC Glacier using Tapatalk
    Based on the OP's initial explanation...sounds like a gun around children concern of hers...not the size/type/caliber...doubt the size would make a difference...these "fears" or beliefs are "gun" in general regardless of setup. Could absolutely be wrong though...

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