Dating + CCW help needed
This is a discussion on Dating + CCW help needed within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I am going to try and be respectful with my choice of words, but I am also going to be honest. I am sure some ...
August 23rd, 2006 06:12 PM
Dating + CCW help needed
I am going to try and be respectful with my choice of words, but I am also going to be honest. I am sure some of this will be funny, but I am being sincere. I am not intending to offend anyone, so don't take it as such.
I recently became single and my old GF knew I CC'd. She and I were dating before I started CC'ing. SO I am now back into the "dating" world. In GA you can't carry where the sell alchol for consumption, so meeting a woman at a bar/resturant is no big deal.
But what if I end up being invited to her house? Do you single guys carry at "dates" houses? I mean if you are going to watch a football game or dinner do you carry? Or do you leave it in the car?
If "relations" begin to happen it will become obvious I am carrying. She very well might freak out and think I am going to harm/kill/kidnap her.
I know this might get a chuckle, but I am curious as to how to approach it. If I carried into her house without her permission, she might get mad.
Any advice/input would be helpful.
August 23rd, 2006 06:17 PM
Tell her up front. Honesty is always the best policy in a realtionship.
If she is cool with it, then you have a keeper!
August 23rd, 2006 06:25 PM
Try a pocket pistol in some cargo pants......
Stay away from SmartCarry (unless she's blind...then I'm thinking your new carry piece should be a .500 S & W......)
Seriously, though: get her to the range before you ever get inside her home.
Get to doing some shooting, get her doing some shooting, get her comfortable with it (it can really be fun to learn something new), then (at the right moment....) produce your carry piece from where you carry it and tell her off-handedly that's the one you always have with you, then start shooting it.
August 23rd, 2006 06:48 PM
Hopefully, you will have spent enough time getting to know her and she you before you go that far,especially since you carry a weapon. Been married for a while now and don't know how it would feel to have to ccw and date. The wife took a month to get use to meet carrying. Now, its like putting on my watch. Good Luck, and my advice is don't tell too much you never know what type of person you are meeting because you telling her early could put you at disadvantage.
Listen, Think and React.....Nuff Said.....
August 23rd, 2006 06:56 PM
It all depends on barrel length...
Sorry, kick me, I just couldn't resist it!
On a serious note, I guess you'd be intimate enough to discuss concealed carry before as you say, ..."relations" begin to happen...so it seems that the ground rules for visiting her place would be in place. You may want to put such a discussion on your "to do" list before the invitation, I'd say.
August 23rd, 2006 07:07 PM
I keep a small childs tackle box in the trunk of my car with a small Master lock stored open inside that.
If I need to quickly and temporarily store my CCW I'll excuse myself away for a moment and go back out to the car. I keep the tackle box directly behind the passenger seat on the floor for easy access but out of the way of passing looky Lou types.
I'll grab the box and lay it on the passenger seat, unholster my weapon and place it along with the spare mag(s) inside and then quickly lock it using said lock inside.
Pop the trunk as I get out and not looking odd at all place the tackle box into the trunk and walk away.
I'll reverse the process upon my return.
I did this just this past monday during a doctors appt. and on Sunday upon goign to visit my inlaws home, in which out of respect to their positions I never carry inside.
Excusing yourself away to go back to the car can be for anything from 'left my wallet on the dash in plain view' to 'I've got some condoms stored in the glove box/trunk'.
"Killers who are not deterred by laws against murder are not going to be deterred by laws against guns. " - Robert A. Levy
"A license to carry a concealed weapon does not make you a free-lance policeman." - Florida Div. of Licensing
August 23rd, 2006 07:08 PM
If your out to meet a woman i would leave the gun in the safe.
In your conversation with her bring up the subject of CCW and guns
in general and get a feel for where she is with the subject.
You need to decide what to do, she might be anti gun at the moment
but i know your a good salesman and can educate.
You need to find someone who is a little open minded and not so
BTW, if they are or were from Massachusetts just get up and find
someone else, your beating a dead horse....
JimB (from PRM)
August 23rd, 2006 07:08 PM
I agree with up front and honest and explain why you carry and how you have to have an impecable record. If she frowns, try to explain in a different mannar and if she still frowns or does not get it...........................Run!
Train and train hard, you might not get a second chance to make a first impression!
I vote for Monica Lewinsky's Ex-Boyfriend's Wife for President.....Not!
August 23rd, 2006 07:09 PM
In GA be sure it is in a holster even though it is still in your pocket!!!
Originally Posted by randytulsa2
"This law does not permit, outside of a person's home, motor vehicle, or place of business, the concealed carrying of a pistol, revolver, or concealable firearm by any person unless that person has on his or her person a valid license issued under Code Section 16-11-129 and even then the person may only carry the pistol, revolver, or concealable firearm only in a shoulder holster, waist belt holster, or any other holster (ankle holster, crotch holster, fanny pack holster, pocket holster,ect) and also a hipgrip or any other similar securing device at which point the weapon MAY BE concealed by the person's clothing, or handbag, purse, briefcase, or any other close container. (concealed carry is NOT required to carry a firearm. Firearms can be openly carried, however in each case; the firearm MUST be carried in a holster or other type of securing device)"
August 23rd, 2006 07:44 PM
I like the pocket holster idea. But I also think that telling her would be a good thing. If you're comfortable enough, I think you could maneuver a conversation into play that would tell you how she felt. You can make your own choices from there on out man.
Its a good point and an interesting topic.
The Gunsite Blog
ITFT / Quick Kill Review
"It is enough to note, as we have observed, that the American people have considered the handgun to be the quintessential self-defense weapon." - Justice Scalia, SCOTUS - DC v Heller - 26 JUN 2008
August 23rd, 2006 08:29 PM
Before you go "up to bat" remember the ol' saying ...
"This is my rifle,this is my gun,this is for shootin',and this is for fun"(pointing with index finger).
I couldn't resist either.
Seriously,honesty is,to me,always the best policy. The sooner the better. You should not have to sacrafice any of your beliefs for any of hers and visa-versa.---------
August 23rd, 2006 08:30 PM
When I was dating, all my dates but one knew I was likely to be carrying and they were OK with it or they would not have been dates. (I'm serious.)
The one date that did not know didn't go anywhere anyway. Had it gone well at all she'd have known long before she "figured it out".
I tend to throw my cards out on the table very quickly 'cause if there is a problem I don't want to waste anyone's time.
Edited to add: One of my "first dates" was at a gun range. I married her.
August 23rd, 2006 08:46 PM
on first dates I used to steer the conversation to "what do you like to do, you know, your favorite things".
I would just include "collecting and shooting firearms".
Just watch for the reaction. You will know right off the bat if anti (look of sheer horror or disqust), pro (smile or look of interest), fence (kinda of horror at first then expressed interest). Just watch the face.
Then, at the movies (I always pick the shot up the BG's type), the need for comments, especially by women, need to be expressed. Most of the time the "I hope that never happens where I am at" and you can just say, "don't worry, as long as you're with me you have a chance because I have the tools" (just thought of somthing, this kinda sounds kinky).
Anyway, I will know after the first date where they stand on the gun issue and a good idea where they stand of the CCW issue.
Went out with one person, too bad they were more like a friend and dating would have been arkward, who brought up the subject before I could.
August 23rd, 2006 09:05 PM
I'll repost what I wrote on a similar thread posted a few months ago by a member who had the same problem.
I wouldn't go unarmed, but I would probably try ankle or pocket carry so she doesn't feel up your gun while hugging you. You want to bring the subject up on your terms where you can have the best control over how you break the news, not be put on the spot with someone who you probably just made nervous because she felt something hard and steel.
While she may not be the one you marry, you never know until you've been together for a long time. Who knows, she can be a lifelong friend or someone you can turn from a fencesitter to someone who's pro-gun. I figure you also don't want to date an anti. So the subject has to be brought up tactfully if you truly care about it.
So I probably wouldn't just blurt out, "hey I'm packing a gun, so deal with it!" Unless she's pro-gun off the bat, that would intimidate most women, not to mention if you're just starting dating, any woman with any common sense would have in the back of head the thoughts of any potential threats you might pose, like sticking a rupie in her drink or duct-taping her and shoving her in the trunk. So freaking her out isn't a great idea.
Also, the approach of "I've got a gun, and that's me, and if you don't like it, shove it" isn't going to work with most women, no matter if she agrees with you carrying or not. It comes across as arrogant and since women like to read the deep meaning in most everything it'll just translate that you're probably someone who is non-negotiable in everything. Most women don't like the "my way or the highway" attitude and you'll probably end up letting loose an otherwise sensible woman who can be transformed into a pro-gun ally. The first few dates are tough, and I admit I almost didn't want to see my husband after our first date!
test the water and bring it out in baby steps. Bring up the subject of hobbies. A lady likes that, because it shows you're interested in her and what she likes. Give her time to say what she likes to do, and if you're a good listener, there's the good chance she'll reciprocate and be receptive when you say you like target shooting. Don't go into a long speech about the Second Amendment. She may inquire more, or she may change the subject quickly. Determine whether she's receptive to the fact that you like guns. That'll determine whether you can continue with the subject or leave her in the dust.
There's plenty of ways you can bring up the subject without sounding like a whacko. News stories where good people, especially children, getting hurt are good prompts to say, "and that's why I love my family and friends so much I'd defend them any way I can." And then the fact that you have a carry permit comes up.
We're emotional critters, remember that.
"Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa
August 23rd, 2006 09:19 PM
Thanks yall and Betty, I'll take your and others advice and see about what she likes and find out if a range "date" can be made.
And thanks for the link in the other thread.
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