My family knows I carry but it got my father into carrying himself(I live with him(I'm a poor college kid)). Now my brother(16) is anti gun. He has the liberal point of view and thinks guns cause violence. Luckily he lives with our mother, and I have no idea if she knows I carry, but I don't imagine shed care much. The only other people who know are friends that go to the range with me. And my girlfriend. Beyond that no one needs to know.
It's hard to talk to antis, but I try to explain that the violence is in human nature, and the gun is just a tool some use. And the best defense is to have the same tools the offenders have. Mostly I just get irrational responses.
I have a hard time calling my mother an anti, but she is very uncomfortable around guns. My mother knows I carry a gun, and although she doesn't like it, she is starting to see the value. She started getting more comfortable when I took her to the range to see her 6 year old granddaughter shoot! seeing her granddaughter use the safety rules, and suddenly act extremely responsible helped. My dad on the hands firmly believes in my right, but has felt no use for it himself.
More recently my parents feel threatened by a Muslim man. They recently helped his wife "escape" him and the abusive situation. He knows that they were involved. My parents do not know where she is since the system they put her in protects her location. The "husband" is trying to find her and word has gotten back to them that he knows they were involved.
Now my mother understands why some choose a gun, but her comfort level and knowledge is not allowing her to own one. We have spent time going over self defense tactics and use of other self defense tools. So my once "fearful of guns" (verge of anti) mother has grown more accepting.
Some "conversions" are possible, but unfortunately some have to experience something to see the light. They must learn from their own experience, because they unfortunately refuse to learn from others expeience. It is the "It wont happen to me" philosophy.
Originally Posted by WvHiker
I like these responses! Nobody's business but yours! It's not a subject for public discussion with friends/family. My entire family always has been anti-self-defense (of any sort, using any tools) and I never have and never will discuss it with them, period.
Originally Posted by kmagnuss
Let me set a couple of more examples. Please NOTE: No disrespect meant by these examples, I just felt that they best illustrate a parallel point.
- If you a single woman who carries birth control pills in your purse, do you discuss/ask permission of family/friends (for the illustration let's assume that they are devout Catholics who believe that birth control is a sin) to bring said contents of your purse into their home/carry it around them?
- If you are a single guy who carries a condom in your wallet, do you discuss/ask permission of family/friends (for the illustration let's assume that they are devout Catholics who believe that pre-marital sex and birth control are both sins) to bring said contents of your wallet into their home/carry it around them?
To me, both of the above scenarios are very similar. People who believe strongly and different from "you" (theoretical you, not anyone here in particular) and would be offended if they knew what you possessed in their home/while with them. The real question is "whose business is it what you have in your purse/wallet/pocket/or mounted on your belt?" My response is "yours" only and nobody else.
YMMV and there are numerous past threads here on this exact same topic.
NOTE: The above assumes NO state law that mandates getting permission from homeowner to enter their home armed.
Those are not parell points. You are rationalizing your position because you just want to not let go of your gun. Fine. Just say that. The point is if somebody tells you not to bring s gun onto their property and you do then you are disrespectful. With your silly analogies. Closer ones that could possibly make sense would be if somebody says no booze in their house and you spend the nite and decide to drink in their house. Disrespectful. If you are not married and you are asked to not sleep in the same room and you sneak a quickie in (disrespectful). I am not talking about if you know they don't like guns. I am saying if you are specifically told no guns. A lot of families have that ground rule. In your 'analogies' you ask if you ask for permission or discus if it is OK to bring those items in. Nobody is saying to ask permission. They are saying if told to. Kinda like a HUGE difference. And as far as you analogies. I have never ever heard of a family member specifially lay down a rule for the house that said do not bring a condom or diaphragm with you. Of course some famlies dis approve of the useof birth control. Again, a big difference. I am no longer friends with a guy because at my sons b-day party he broought booze into my house and he kne no booze in my house. He thought it was not a big deal. I don't care if somebody drinks. But my house my rule. He could have declined or just not be disrespectful. It is really that simple. ABout rights, I can legaly be rude and cuss someone out over a disagreement. I choose not to. So even with rights you have choices.
I see your point, but as anti-gun as my family always was, NOBODY ever told me "don't bring a gun onto my property", so I can't relate to that at all. If someone did that, I would re-analyze my position and probably decide never to visit them on their turf unless under exigent circumstances. I have never met any gun person who admitted in my presence that his family/friends told him/her never to bring guns into their home. I'm sure it has happened to some people but my bet is that the gun owner raised the point and either asked permission or made a big deal about it. [And in similar threads here, the topic often has been about "asking permission" . . . which just invites a "ban".]
Originally Posted by suntzu
To me they are parallel examples because since the topic is NEVER discussed with family, none of them know when/if I carry and thus never admonished me to NOT carry in their presence or on their property. Thus, there never has been a need to be "disrespectful".
Thank you for providing a different perspective.
Okee Dokeeee, your points are valid also if the gun owner is bringing it up. Just be quiet. If told not to respect the wishes. Have a nice weekend
I've heard odd attitudes like this. One I've heard from people is something along the lines of "I'd never be able to kill someone even if they were pointing a gun at me and were about to shoot me." This statement is often made with an air of superiority as if to say that their civility so greatly outmatches mine, to the degree that they wouldn't turn into a killing monster even if about to die.
Originally Posted by archie72490
I wonder if people like this have an "oh crap" moment about 5 seconds before being shot, realizing how stupid their previous comments were.
I don't think you have to be told, in child like declarative statements, what your parents wishes and positions are. If my parents have made perfectly clear to me that they do not like or approve of handguns, alcohol, porn, etc, and that point is clear to me, I don't have to wait until they tell me in a first grade tone and order to know what is right and not right in their house. This is all about rationalizations for our own intolerance masked in the cloak of 2A rights. This is how antis start formulating the "gun crazies" labels and concepts they have. I have seen guys elevate gun carrying to the level of a religion with associated dogma and ritual that could rival any of the most constricting and hard right fundamentalist churches out there.
We want respect for our positions on carrying. Have respect for the philosophy and positions of your parents and friends when in their house. I would never not go to a family members house only because I could not bring my hunk of metal with me. I cherish the limited time we have on this earth with my family and friends to deny time with them over my dogmatic gun carry rules. Maybe this is an issue more associated with the age gap of those on this forum. Maybe not.
Originally Posted by CowboyColby
Guns are dangerous. Dangerous things are often unpredictable (think criminals, falling branches during a windstorm, wild animals). Therefore, guns are unpredictable and might just go off with disastrous consequences. This theory is confirmed by all the stories in the news of "accidental" discharges, children shooting each other, etc.
You don't hear about all the rest of the guns in this country magically going off, because that is not good news. Headline: "Loaded gun failed to spontaneously discharge over period of several years". Not good news, even on a slow news day. When I first handled firearms, which was not that long ago, I was quite nervous about it "going off" and those thoughts of danger and unpredictability were both swirling around my head. Going through a gun safety class and spending an hour a week killing pieces of paper, I feel much more confident. The gun is still dangerous (that's kinda the point), but is no longer unpredictable. It's controlled, respected and obedient.
I consider myself lucky. People in my family aren't really "dicks" and pretty much keep their opinions to themselves. Even if they disagree with my right/certification to cc they wouldn't openly oppose my choice. I don't know if it's out of respect for me or they don't want to look like a "dick" but we all pretty much get along.
RugerLCP for EDC
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Man by all the posts from you guys with delusional family members makes me thank my lucky stars.
Only ones who do not carry/have much to do with firearms are the wifes brother & his family(he was brought up hunting with his dad), but married an anti-turned fence sitter, and her sister and husband who are indifferent to firearms, definitely not anti, but wouldn't care.
My side is a different story, in that my brother, mom, BIL son & nephew all carry/have permits, wife is pro-gun but hasn't sent in her permit app yet, and my daughters both know how to shoot. My sister is the one with the most reservations on my side, but even she knows how to shoot, and has taken the CPL class.
Anyone who thinks a firearm will "just suddenly go off" just resting in a holster, or sitting on a table is an idiot, akin to somebody thinking a car is dangerous just sitting there with the key in the ignition.
Stupid , unreasonable people are just that, stupid, and most wouldn't know a forest,when looking at the trees.
I don't have much use for stupid people.
I don't have an anti gun relatives but my grandmother has very strange ideas about what skills/mindset/maturity level I have and practically started bawling as I told a story about a rude fat chick in Wal Mart almost knocking my concealed pistol out its holster.
Haven't brought it up since.
"Don't Ask, Don't Tell." I carried as a LEO for 20 years everywhere I went. I never asked and I never told.
Wear them down with simple ideas, change their mentality, respect them as you want to be respected by them
Suggest that your gun will stay in the holster and only come out to save a life because remember guns dont kill people, guns save lives
A gun is safer than a car, you got a licence to drive by the state, got one to carry too
What does it for me is the news stories, debunks the aint gonna happen here thing
It will take some time just remeber to tell them every time that its just gonna sit there, your not gonna play with it
To my knowledge no one I know imposes a no gun rule in there home. This isn't to say that they are gun enthusiasts, but they seem to be indifferent to this issue.
Since I have no experience with the OP's question I hesitate to offer my thoughts about it. I believe I would respect a persons need to not have a firearm in there home. I wouldn't "sneak" one in there home as this is an indictment of my character. We must be more ethical than those who oppose our beliefs. This doesn't mean surrender. It simply means honoring our beliefs and making other choices when we must. With one's family this could be a true test of beliefs and character.