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carry around anti gun family

This is a discussion on carry around anti gun family within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Originally Posted by Stukassassin I have a problem that is somewhat the same besides im 23 and still living with mom who is antigun and ...

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  1. #76
    Distinguished Member Array Chaplain Scott's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stukassassin View Post
    I have a problem that is somewhat the same besides im 23 and still living with mom who is antigun and when im carry
    around our own home i can just tell she is nerves so one day i asked her how she feels about me carrying at home and she
    said its weird and paranode we went on talking for a while telling her i only do this to protect her my sister and me but
    theres no reasoning even if i have all the facts saying I right and not paranode. she says and i quoto
    "PEOPLE DONT DO THIS" like she knows what everyone in the gun community does. the bottom line is should i still
    carry but just cc the gun in house i ve though of getting a kel tec pf9 for cc in my own home thought anyone
    First off--WELCOME to the forum --stick around, read lots and lots on this forum--there are folks here with decades of experience and the moderators and the members here are really respectful of one another (most of the time anyway ) The simplest solution to your situation is as you suggested--simply carry concealed.

    Another thing you can do is, if you are on facebook, is to find and "like" the site "Guns save lives". The have lots and lots of true news stories about this. Print off a few of the stories for your mom, maybe, just maybe, reading a few accounts of the ugly realities of the world we live in will change her mind. On the other hand, she may be like my own mother was before her death--she had her own personal version of reality, and it did not include things like home invasions with rape and murder, etc. She simply was unwilling to face those realities. If that is the case with your mother, then all you can do is love her anyway, and continue to carry concealed at home.
    Scott, US Army 1974-2004

    Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.
    - Ronald Reagan


  2. #77
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    "I remember back in the early 60's when I was young, a man in our small town took his 4 kids out into a field and shot them all and killed himself. The whole town was in a state of shock and talked about it for months, including my parents and family.
    I don't remember ONE person saying anything negative about guns. They were horrified over the fact that the man had killed his children...not that the GUN had killed the children.

    If that happened today, the gun would be blamed, as if the man was an innocent bystander who happened to be holding the gun. That's a big difference between now and then."

    And that's a very good point. When I was young, during the late '50s, a fellow killed a whole family with a butcher knife. Not one word was said about outlawing kitchen knives. Still owuldn't today, but using a gun would certainly fuel the fires.
    Retired USAF E-8. Lighten up and enjoy life because:
    Paranoia strikes deep, into your heart it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... "For What It's Worth" Buffalo Springfield

  3. #78
    Ex Member Array dbglock's Avatar
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    Yeah, in order to fully explain why you carry to an anti-gunner, you pretty much have to shatter their world view so you have to decide what's more important to you. I have no intention of shattering any family member's anything so I use the method that has served me well all these many years: discretion.
    wmhawth likes this.

  4. #79
    Member Array CAS_Shooter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stukassassin View Post
    I have a problem that is somewhat the same besides im 23 and still living with mom who is antigun and when im carry
    around our own home i can just tell she is nerves so one day i asked her how she feels about me carrying at home and she
    said its weird and paranode we went on talking for a while telling her i only do this to protect her my sister and me but
    theres no reasoning even if i have all the facts saying I right and not paranode. she says and i quoto
    "PEOPLE DONT DO THIS" like she knows what everyone in the gun community does. the bottom line is should i still
    carry but just cc the gun in house i ve though of getting a kel tec pf9 for cc in my own home thought anyone
    It is your mothers house. Her wishes should be respected. If you are going to carry, there is no reason you cannot carry in a way that in unknown to anyone. If your gun it too big to carry without showing, you need a smaller gun. Your mother's feelings, in her house, should be respected. I am a big believer in why people move out: so that you can do as you dam well please. Live at home and you live by someone else's rules and wishes.

  5. #80
    Distinguished Member Array GlassWolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by archie72490 View Post
    Do any of yall have anti gun family, and how do you deal with carrying around them? Tonight I was at my parents house for supper with my dad and sister. My parents understand that I carry when legal and not at their house. My dad doesn't really care either way about guns, but my mom and sister are very anti-gun. I left my gun locked up in my car due to my agreement with my parents and their no guns in their house rule. After supper my sister (15yrs old and learning to drive) wanted to go somewhere, and drive to show off her new skills. I moved my car out to the street and out of the way of their cars and naturally re-holstered since we were going out. when we got back my sister wanted me to come in but I said I couldn't. (she knew I wasn't busy tonight and figured out right away that I was carrying) well that set her off and she got incredibly angry that I carried when she was around. Do any of you have similar situations, or how would you deal with a situation where family doesn't want you carrying around them when you are out somewhere?
    Sit down with her some time, and ask her to explain to you why she dislikes guns. Ask her to articulate as best she can what it is about the ability to defend yourself that upsets her. If you can have a reasonable discussion about the topic, maybe she can come to understand your beliefs, and you hers. See if it's just how she was raised, or if she has an actual thought in her own head. She is fifteen after all. Her flying off the handle is par for the course at that age. It may not be a bad idea to do the same with your mother as well. Study up first. Try to anticipate their responses and have good data and replies already in your head.

    Once in a while, reason actually works.

  6. #81
    VIP Member Array blitzburgh's Avatar
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    My mother and sister recently took their CWP class together, father is a disabled veteran and has his CWP, sister's fiance took his CWP class with me.. all good. Other than them and the friends I shoot with, nobody knows I have mine and carry everywhere I'm legally able to. I prefer to keep it that way because to me, concealed means concealed.

    My mother and sister weren't exactly anti, just didn't really care for firearms. Unfortunately, it took a bad situation for my mom to decide to carry, which prompted my sister to decide to as well. I must say, it sure does bring me a lot of peace of mind knowing that my sister is safer while out with my niece and without her fiance and that my mother is safer while out without my father.
    "Rebellion against tyrants is obedience to God." - Benjamin Franklin
    "Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn." - C.S. Lewis

  7. #82
    Senior Member Array marcclarke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nwbackpacker View Post
    I've heard odd attitudes like this. One I've heard from people is something along the lines of "I'd never be able to kill someone even if they were pointing a gun at me and were about to shoot me." This statement is often made with an air of superiority as if to say that their civility so greatly outmatches mine, to the degree that they wouldn't turn into a killing monster even if about to die.
    "Virtuous Victimhood", to lift a phrase from John Farnam.

    I have run into the syndrome. It boggles my tiny mind. I *like* being alive.

  8. #83
    Ex Member Array dbglock's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nwbackpacker View Post
    I've heard odd attitudes like this. One I've heard from people is something along the lines of "I'd never be able to kill someone even if they were pointing a gun at me and were about to shoot me." This statement is often made with an air of superiority as if to say that their civility so greatly outmatches mine, to the degree that they wouldn't turn into a killing monster even if about to die.
    It's not their air of superiority that's going to prevent them from killing the bad guy. It's the fact that the bad guy already has the drop on them and unless they're Wild Bill Hickok and the BG is blind, they're dead already, if that's the BG's intention.

  9. #84
    Member Array slidewayz240's Avatar
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    I carry around them regardless. Concealed is concealed. They know I have a permit and carry, they dont need to know when I carry though.

  10. #85
    Member Array Walden's Avatar
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    My family is generally firearms friendly, but they don't love the idea of me carrying. I brought up that I was thinking of getting my CHL, and my parents were oppositional to it. Both of my parents are doctors and have seen gunshot victims in the ER, so that might have something to do with it.

    They don't know I have my permit yet, but I will tell them if I go back home after this school year. I try not to force the issue around new people. I bring my Shield for "deep concealment" when I am invited into someone's home.
    "Though defensive violence will always be a 'sad necessity' in the eyes of men of principle, it would be still more unfortunate if wrongdoers should dominate just men." - St. Augustine

  11. #86
    Member Array A1Fiddler's Avatar
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    I only allow people to know I carry all the time if I know they'll be comfortable with it. I've been in the situation before where I'll be at someone's house and they'll see the NRA sticker on my truck or something and show me their gun(s), and at that point I'll say "That's cool, this is what I carry..." etc. I tend to distance myself from stupidity, so I rarely run into issues. Honestly, if someone 1) found out I carry and 2) told me I wasn't "allowed" to carry in their house, I would simply leave and not come back. While somewhat of an exaggeration, I would leave with the statement "my life is worth more than my friendships."

  12. #87
    Member Array MrsHB's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stukassassin View Post
    I have a problem that is somewhat the same besides im 23 and still living with mom who is antigun and when im carry
    around our own home i can just tell she is nerves so one day i asked her how she feels about me carrying at home and she
    said its weird and paranode we went on talking for a while telling her i only do this to protect her my sister and me but
    theres no reasoning even if i have all the facts saying I right and not paranode. she says and i quoto
    "PEOPLE DONT DO THIS" like she knows what everyone in the gun community does. the bottom line is should i still
    carry but just cc the gun in house i ve though of getting a kel tec pf9 for cc in my own home thought anyone
    Yes, you should only carry concealed around the house. Be respectful of her feelings by being DISCRETE.

    It sounds like she hasn't forbid you from carrying or having a gun in HER house - yet. Even though she's clearly freaked out watching you parade around with a gun. If you keep pushing her buttons and she ultimately says you can't have a gun in her house anymore, you'll need to respect that also. Her house, her rules.

    You won't win over anti-gun folks by forcing something on them that they fear and/or disapprove of. Ignoring or dismissing someone's strongly held feelings and wishes breeds resentment and reinforces negative perceptions.

    Better to be a positive role model who is respectful, mature, and responsible (and who may or may not carry a gun).

    Just my opinion.
    "...people who carry a gun understand that they are arming themselves against a very unlikely event... People who arm themselves are not confused about the odds. They are concerned about the stakes. -Kathy Jackson
    NRA Life Member

  13. #88
    Member Array hfjeff's Avatar
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    I have no anti-gunners in the family so I know not what you speak of.

  14. #89
    Distinguished Member Array lchamp's Avatar
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    My wife (born and raised in Massachusetts) likes to go to the range with me. Her family is always asking "why?". At first, we explained, now we just try to ignore the questions and carry concealed when they are in the house. Normally, I OC in the house.

  15. #90
    Member Array AK_Brian's Avatar
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    I'm not a firearms activist, though I support them by being a responsible carrier to the best of my ability. I'll stop and educate people and play the ambassador role when in an appropriate situation, or when asked directly, but beyond that when it comes to the members of my family I just quietly carry. I've only been carrying for a short while, but when I do with my kid or my family, it's concealed.

    My siblings all have no issues with firearms, my brother owns one and I own many, and my sisters don't own their own but fully support their husbands' and their decision to carry. My parents are very moderate and while neither of them feel it's necessary to own and carry a firearm, they don't say anything against it either. Since they are willing to just treat it as an area of quiet acknowledgement, I too treat it quietly with them. I don't talk guns with them, unless they directly ask, and if they ever ask me to not carry in their home, I'll do so. (I say that about them, but I recently found out my dad has a perfectly working, well maintained fire-selectable M16 he took with him at the end of 'Nam that he keeps disassembled in his closet - he won't say how he kept it, and I won't ask :P)

    Tl;dr version: Carry quietly, operate quietly. If directly asked, give a direct answer, otherwise let the topic form it's own natural barrier. I respect and obey a homeowners wishes, but once off their property I'm back on my terms. I don't try to sway irrational fear of firearms, though if a kid started mouthing off to me...BAM! Pistol-whip! (I kid I kid!)
    lchamp likes this.

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