need your help

This is a discussion on need your help within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Ok so i got my pemit in August and have been carrying since i got it.. Now i have been around my girlfriends family everyday ...

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    Senior Member Array rangerman2003's Avatar
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    need your help

    Ok so i got my pemit in August and have been carrying since i got it.. Now i have been around my girlfriends family everyday since then for the most part.. They didnt know i carried until recently when it slipped out of my girlfriends mouth on accident.. Ever since then her mom has been freaking out not letting her other kids ride in the car with me or not allowing them to go to my vehicle to get stuff...

    her mom has never came out and formally told me she doesnt want me to carry around them but she has been telling my girl that she does not approve of this.. I respect the fact that she does not wish for me to carry in her house and i take it off before entering their home. But my girlfriend said that she doesnt want me to carry around her kids while in public too, which i feel is bull..

    I know that it is her wishes for me not to carry around her kids and i can respect that to a point but when it comes to my or my family/her families safety that is where i draw the line... What can i do to show her that it is safe and that it is my RIGHT to carry and i will when ever i feel the need to except in her home...

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    Member Array Huzar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rangerman2003 View Post
    Ok so i got my pemit in August and have been carrying since i got it.. Now i have been around my girlfriends family everyday since then for the most part.. They didnt know i carried until recently when it slipped out of my girlfriends mouth on accident.. Ever since then her mom has been freaking out not letting her other kids ride in the car with me or not allowing them to go to my vehicle to get stuff...

    her mom has never came out and formally told me she doesnt want me to carry around them but she has been telling my girl that she does not approve of this.. I respect the fact that she does not wish for me to carry in her house and i take it off before entering their home. But my girlfriend said that she doesnt want me to carry around her kids while in public too, which i feel is bull..

    I know that it is her wishes for me not to carry around her kids and i can respect that to a point but when it comes to my or my family/her families safety that is where i draw the line... What can i do to show her that it is safe and that it is my RIGHT to carry and i will when ever i feel the need to except in her home...
    You might want to sit down and talk to her and explain how things work and ask her if she has any questions. Did you have to take any special training in your state for the permit? If so you might want to mention that as well. Also you might want to mention that if the weapon is not on you then it's secure and innaccessible to those who shouldn't have access to it (like when you leave it in your vehicle it's locked or something).

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    Senior Member Array rangerman2003's Avatar
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    ya in KY you have to take 6 hours of classroom time and 2 hours of shooting time for a total of the req 8 hours, well my class i paid a little more but i also got about 8 hours of classroom and 3 hours of shooting so it worked out well...

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    I hate this sorta paranoia some folks show - I am always thinking one simple thing - ''trust me - trust my gun''.

    If they freak over me carrying then I can only believe I am not to be trusted. So - best I stay away!!

    OK - I know - someone else's house, their rules. Can't deny that but still .......... Makes me want to put a gun down on a table somewhere and get them watching - for hours - and then tell me if the darned thing jumps up and starts going bang!
    Chris - P95
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    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


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    VIP Member Array SammyIamToday's Avatar
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    How does your girlfriend feel about this? Is she on your side? Perhaps having her talk with her mother with you might help some more. It's obvious that she's being irrational as you weren't dangerous to the children when you were carrying and she didn't know, but she might need some help to see it.

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    Senior Member Array rangerman2003's Avatar
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    ya she didnt really like it at first but once i carried for a few days and she saw that it was cool, and once my dad told her he had been carrying almost everyday she saw him for the pas 2 years she opened up alot, cause she never knew he had it

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    VIP Member Array SammyIamToday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rangerman2003 View Post
    ya she didnt really like it at first but once i carried for a few days and she saw that it was cool, and once my dad told her he had been carrying almost everyday she saw him for the pas 2 years she opened up alot, cause she never knew he had it
    That's good. You attempted to get her to maybe get her CCW permit? That would probably be a real icebreaker with mom.

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    Senior Member Array rangerman2003's Avatar
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    we have talked about it a few times and she is starting to get the urge to just go to the range with me, so maybe in a year when she is 21 she will want it

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    VIP Member Array SIGguy229's Avatar
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    You also may want to remind her that it is *your* business regarding your CCW...that she should not be sharing that information with anyone.

    How about taking Mom out to the range?

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    Senior Member Array AirForceShooter's Avatar
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    Let your girl handle it.
    If she can't, find another girl.
    You can't win this one.

    AFS
    Gun control is hitting what you aim at

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    Senior Member Array cagueits's Avatar
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    Have a sit-down and invite the whole family to the range. If that doesn't solve it, just don't go there anymore. If you can't solve this problem, your relationship will come to an end pretty fast, and it might be better that way. Find someone who is/has a family mature enoughf to become part of your family.

    Just my 2 cents.

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    erh
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    Member Array erh's Avatar
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    Lightbulb "This Sucks..!"

    This also cannot get better; you've got to figure out your own "What's What..!" Good Luck..!
    I've been married now for 10 years+ to a woman who doesn't particularly approve (Incidentally the first time I kissed her was in my Armory in S. Florida; we were surrounded by M-16's, M9's, M870's, M-2's, 25mm Chain Gun's, & plenty more..!; Damn what a "Great Day..!") but as long as I'm NOT in her face about it she's perfectly fine...

    Maybe you should just have a 'Lil talk to them all (Away from the precious kids...) about something somewhere along the line's of:
    "If you would all just "Try" to get it out of your mind for a few moments; "NO ONE WILL KNOW; EVER..!"

    (Unless of course you don't carry well... If the Latter is true; "Stop Carrying..!")

    Just MY .02 cents...
    Eric Howland
    Savannah, GA.

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    Distinguished Member Array snowdoctor's Avatar
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    not a good situation. I am assuming by the age of your girl, you are in the 21-24 range? young adult? I think if you show maturity to her mom, it goes a long way. I do not know your history with your girl or her mom, so I can't comment on the "trust level" or past experiences. I would attempt to talk to her mom one on one, and tell her your training, and why you chose to carry. take some time or think about this conversation, and make sure you have your t's crossed and i's dotted. Let her know how you feel and why. Explain some gun safety to her, and let her know that your respect her views (even if they are off). let her know because of this you won't carry in her house if she doesn't want you to.
    I wouldn't invite her to the range right away, let her get comfortable first.
    If you can't resolve this, then it may not be the mother in law you are looking for. trust me, you do marry the whole family
    ----DOC-----

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    Senior Member Array Joshua M. Smith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AirForceShooter View Post
    Let your girl handle it.
    If she can't, find another girl.
    You can't win this one.

    AFS
    That... was very concise and elogent!

    I am fairly recently "disengaged." So far as I know her family never knew, except for the her and the kids (15 and 5 when I met her, together for three years.) However, since the kids knew the family probably knew though the kids were told it wasn't for public knowledge. You know how kids are.

    At any rate, I told the ex-fiance that the pistol just let me keep out of most attackers' range and that I couldn't do anything with it that I couldn't without it. Without it would just take more time.

    My firearms enthusiasm did play a part in the breakup btw. I think what she said was "Every conversation turns to guns." They didn't, but if that was her belief then they did, if that makes sense.

    Best to get it sorted out, NOW, before you go any further.

    There are some girlfriends I've had whose families loved the fact that I carried. I'd be straight out asked and told not to worry about carrying it around them. One of the funniest moments in my shooting history was when I let one of those girlfriends handle my Taurus 92 after familiarizing her with it. She stood about 5' and was under 100lbs. The pistol was almost as long as her forearm and she could handle the thing just fine! LOL

    Josh <><

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    VIP Member Array MNBurl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rangerman2003 View Post
    ya she didnt really like it at first but once i carried for a few days and she saw that it was cool, and once my dad told her he had been carrying almost everyday she saw him for the pas 2 years she opened up alot, cause she never knew he had it
    This is a good first step and if your girl friend can't live with it because of mom then you still have the option of finding a different family to marry into. I would first have your Dad, girl friend, mom and yourself to the rang to shoot off a couple of rounds with a 22 and go over the safety rules. This might help but if not your an adult and so is her daughter so she can still continue to be a

    It is worth a shot to educate them about guns and people who own and carry them. Give it a try and let us know how it works out!
    MNBurl

    "If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking" - George S. Patton.

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